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Cloud Potato
Jan 8, 2011

"I'm... happy!"




It has been one year since what is officially referred to as "the Baltic Sea incident" and unofficially referred to as "that time Santa Claus the Big Man shat himself". Suspicion immediately fell onto the stew that you, Jingleterry, the elf who helped the Big Man get ready last year, laced with Pepto-Bismol. This was confirmed when Rudolph ate a portion of the stew set aside for him and suffered similar symptoms. In this situation, you did the only thing you could do.

You blamed the meat. Must've gone off.

They bought it.

You smile at the memory as you add the last of tonight's vegetable chilli ingredients to the slow-cooker. This year, you didn't go out and get raging drunk the night before, stealing the sleigh and breaking it, giving you only four hours to sort everything out. Nope! One quiet night in, and you woke up on time. The sleigh is in perfect condition. Most of the prep has been taken care of. You've still gotta wake up the Big Man and get him ready for the big event, but that's in, oh, two hours or so. You sit back at your desk and reload various internet pages. Everything is under control.

You hear a muffled ping from your computer. It's not from a program you recognize. You click on the notification: PROXIMITY ALERT.

Behind you, the office clock chimes the hour. There's four hours left to get everything ready for Christmas. Looks like you'll have to Do It YoursElf!

-----

Welcome back to Do It You Elf! A Christmassy CYOA about being an elf, getting the Sleigh and the Big Man (there's a superstition against saying the S**** C**** name before He's ready.) prepared for the Big Day. You have four hours, i.e. 24 10-minute increments.



For every post, please post what you'd like our character to spend the next 10 minutes doing, as well as your guess as to what's behind tomorrow's Advent Calendar door. The correct guess will have their choice of action happen. If there are no correct guesses, I'll pick an action at random, and something bad might happen. If more than one person guesses the same calendar item, I go with the first person's chosen action. Guesses have to be reasonably specific, no more just saying "plant" or "animal". My decision is final. Have fun!

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AJ_Impy
Jun 17, 2007



Yam Slacker

At least two holly leaves at an obtuse angle from one another.

Investigate the proximity alert.

Jvie
Aug 10, 2012



deer


Proclaim "Welp, this is it."

Start emptying out the Big Man's pantry into a sack so you can stock up your doomsday bunker.

The Lord of Hats
Aug 22, 2010



Snowflake

Drink our Special Blend of High-Caffeine Coffee and Energy Shots. We're going to need it.

Lux Animus
Apr 17, 2016

Posts from the end of the world




Dinosaur Gum

Anything resembling a bell:

Pour peppermint schnapps in the elf collective's hot cocoa.

malbogio
Jan 19, 2015



A wrapped present.
Look around outside.

WereGoat
Apr 28, 2017



A robin
Sound the alarms!

Slaan
Mar 16, 2009

I GAIN POWER FROM EATING PEOPLE, JUST ASSUME I'M ALWAYS VOTING TO EAT PEOPLE





A pine tree

ACTIVATE EXTERNAL ANTI AIR DEFENSE SYSTEMS

Arcanuse
Mar 14, 2019



An angel.

-It's not jack frost again, is it? Sigh dramatically, and fetch the bludgeoning broom.

Dog Kisser
Mar 30, 2005

But People have fears that beasts do not. Questions, too.


A snowman
Take a nap!

Scribbleykins
Apr 29, 2010

Any scientist with the right background can brew his own booze.

...

What do you mean electrolytes aren't used for brewing booze? That's silly!

...

Well when all you have are chunks of TNE and an overly large water ration, all the world looks like a still!

Grimey Drawer

Dog Kisser posted:

A snowman
Take a nap!

You son of a gun.

A candy cane!

Check the program - what is it actually for detecting?

Cloud Potato
Jan 8, 2011

"I'm... happy!"




Image is of a person walking a dog, who is chasing a bird, near a body of water! (Hoo boy, this calendar's gonna be fun.) No correct guesses! Current score: 0-1!
Randomly selecting action: 1d10 7 Slaan's ACTIVATE EXTERNAL ANTI AIR DEFENSE SYSTEMS chosen!


You tab over to the Workshop Complex's Defence Matrix and double-click the Anti-Air icon. You dimly hear the thud-whirr of six concealed missile turrets dotted around the perimiter of the complex shake the snow and rust from their covers and lazily spin open. The screen flashes a red SCANNING FOR TARGETS message.

15 seconds pass, becomes 30, becomes a minute. A green message appears: NO TARGETS DETECTED. You tell the turrets to run a diagnostic, then repeat the scan.

15 seconds pass, becomes 30, becomes a minute. The same green message appears: NO TARGETS DETECTED. Hmm. The skies are yours, and they are clear.

3 hours, 50 minutes remain.

malbogio
Jan 19, 2015



A wrapped present.
Look around outside.

Dog Kisser
Mar 30, 2005

But People have fears that beasts do not. Questions, too.


A snowman!
TAKE A NAP!

Lux Animus
Apr 17, 2016

Posts from the end of the world




Dinosaur Gum

A wheeled vehicle

Check the Sleigh for sky-worthiness

Slaan
Mar 16, 2009

I GAIN POWER FROM EATING PEOPLE, JUST ASSUME I'M ALWAYS VOTING TO EAT PEOPLE





Snowy Forest

Call Reindeer Wranglers for situation update

AJ_Impy
Jun 17, 2007



Yam Slacker

A building in the background.

Notify the North Pole defence forces.

Arcanuse
Mar 14, 2019



A lake.

...Go do a headcount of the reindeer. Hope we aren't going to have to call in one of the rejected reindeer to fill in.

Scribbleykins
Apr 29, 2010

Any scientist with the right background can brew his own booze.

...

What do you mean electrolytes aren't used for brewing booze? That's silly!

...

Well when all you have are chunks of TNE and an overly large water ration, all the world looks like a still!

Grimey Drawer

A sled.

Egh. Call Tingleperry. That nerd can probably explain this program and the proximity alert.

Cloud Potato
Jan 8, 2011

"I'm... happy!"




Image is of a snowman. Dog Kisser guesses correctly! Current score: 1-1.
Take A Nap chosen.


While sitting at your computer, a powerful wave of drowsiness suddenly sweeps over you. Okay, today was an early start, but you shouldn't be that tired already, right? You make your way to the kitchen where the vegetable chilli slowly bubbles away. The coffee pot's still half-full from this morning's brew, so you pour a- The hell? There's a blue stripe on the bag of coffee grounds you used earlier. Decaf.

You've been on decaf all shift!? Oof, no wonder you're tired. You yawn loudly as you sit in one of the kitchen-adjacent break room's big comfy chairs. A quick nap will surely fill you with the energy you need to sort out whatever that proximity alert was. Just... gonna... rest eyes... for... a few... mins. You relax and, for once, you find it remarkably easy to drift off into slumber.

3 hours, forty minutes remain.

Cloud Potato fucked around with this message at 20:19 on Dec 2, 2020

Jvie
Aug 10, 2012



A squirrel


While dreaming, astrally project high up in the air. Scan for whatever anomaly the warning was about.

Lux Animus
Apr 17, 2016

Posts from the end of the world




Dinosaur Gum

A Dog

Feed the Animals

Slaan
Mar 16, 2009

I GAIN POWER FROM EATING PEOPLE, JUST ASSUME I'M ALWAYS VOTING TO EAT PEOPLE





Mistletoe

Radio the stable to send out the reindeer scouts and FIND THAT LAZY RUDOLPH

Slaan fucked around with this message at 23:46 on Dec 2, 2020

Arcanuse
Mar 14, 2019



A lake.

-Snore peacefully before fading into dream-visions of historically inaccurate calendar's ending the twelfth month a day before christmas this year; or any future year.

AJ_Impy
Jun 17, 2007



Yam Slacker

A bird in the background.

Astral projection to find the threat.

malbogio
Jan 19, 2015



A wrapped present.
Look around outside.

Dog Kisser
Mar 30, 2005

But People have fears that beasts do not. Questions, too.


A reindeer
Poison Santa!

Swedish Thaumocracy
Jul 11, 2006

Strength of >800 Men
Honor of 0


Grimey Drawer

A Cat!

Check the list once!

AnAnonymousIdiot
Sep 14, 2013



Oooh, Oooh! [A Christmas Tree?

Also, we're not being threatened with a transfer to Alfheim for screwups are we?

Also also, We tending the Reindeer?

Also also also, should we worry about the Missus?

AnAnonymousIdiot fucked around with this message at 04:03 on Dec 3, 2020

Scribbleykins
Apr 29, 2010

Any scientist with the right background can brew his own booze.

...

What do you mean electrolytes aren't used for brewing booze? That's silly!

...

Well when all you have are chunks of TNE and an overly large water ration, all the world looks like a still!

Grimey Drawer

A sled.

First the proximity alert and now decaf? There's only one explanation... sabotage! An inside job, at that! Who's been let into the premises... and by whom?

Call Kringlejerry for advice. He always knows what to do in tricky situations like this, for some reason.

(You secretly suspect he's part of ELLFF*, but he's never steered you wrong before. Except that one vacation in Vegas, but you both agreed never to talk about it ever again.)

*Extraordinary Little League of Freedom Fighters

Cloud Potato
Jan 8, 2011

"I'm... happy!"




Image is of a bird. I'm gonna be kind and give it to AJ_Impy despite it not being in the background. Current score: 2-1.
Astral projection to find the threat action chosen.


You dream.

You're a bird, sitting in the trees surrounding the Workshop Complex. With the warmth and the crumbs the elves leave outside, why fly south? You look at the new trees. Such odd colouring. You spread your wings and fly over to them, parking yourself inside a round opening on the top. This strange tree feels bitterly cold on your feet. A few experimental pecks; it's very solid, no food at all.

You take flight again, land by the stables. You see the reindeer eating some strange food that sparkles, and an elf adding more sparkles to their meal. You fly over and try to peck some for yourself. A reindeer snorts at you through their nostrils, shooing you away.

Again you spread your wings, this time alighting on a windowsill. The inside is dark. You look south, and see markings in the snow. Fresh prints! You flutter down, trying to smell any food that the newcomers might have dropped. Sadly, there is none. The footprints head into the building, or away. You don't know, you're a bird!

One more flight, to another windowsill. This one's window is lit. The room smells nice. Inside, you see an elf, asleep in a comfy chair. The elf looks very familiar.

Time has no meaning to birds.

-----

AnAnonymousIdiot posted:

Also, we're not being threatened with a transfer to Alfheim for screwups are we?

Also also, We tending the Reindeer?

Also also also, should we worry about the Missus?

Consequences of your failure are... unknown.
The reindeer are being tended to by Rudelf, the stablemaster and the only other elf currently on duty.
Mrs. C? Currently fast asleep next to the Big Man, scheduled to be running Mission Control when the Big Man's doing his thing.

Scribbleykins
Apr 29, 2010

Any scientist with the right background can brew his own booze.

...

What do you mean electrolytes aren't used for brewing booze? That's silly!

...

Well when all you have are chunks of TNE and an overly large water ration, all the world looks like a still!

Grimey Drawer

A sled.

Wake with an odd premonition of where you should go to investigate the potential intruder, and a desire to feed a bird some crumbs.

But before you go, put on some real coffee.

Dog Kisser
Mar 30, 2005

But People have fears that beasts do not. Questions, too.


A reindeer
Poison Santa!

We're going to have a VERY INTERESTING CHRISTMAS, okay!?

malbogio
Jan 19, 2015



A wrapped present
Infiltrate the fake trees.

malbogio fucked around with this message at 00:35 on Dec 4, 2020

Lux Animus
Apr 17, 2016

Posts from the end of the world




Dinosaur Gum

A horse

Have a nightmare before Christmas.

Slaan
Mar 16, 2009

I GAIN POWER FROM EATING PEOPLE, JUST ASSUME I'M ALWAYS VOTING TO EAT PEOPLE





Snowy forest
Make a skinny peppermint mocha latte with oatmilk and two extra espresso shots
at the attached North Starbucks self-service annex

Jvie
Aug 10, 2012



a squirrel

Slaan posted:


Make a skinny peppermint mocha latte with oatmilk and two extra espresso shots
at the attached North Starbucks self-service annex

AnAnonymousIdiot
Sep 14, 2013



A Snowflake?

Also Stable elf seems to be our best lead.

AJ_Impy
Jun 17, 2007



Yam Slacker

Bird in the background

And definitely not in the foreground.


Scribbleykins posted:

Wake with an odd premonition of where you should go to investigate the potential intruder, and a desire to feed a bird some crumbs.

But before you go, put on some real coffee.

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Swedish Thaumocracy
Jul 11, 2006

Strength of >800 Men
Honor of 0


Grimey Drawer

A different cat

Boot up the new experimental Commerce Logistical Analysis Utility System

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