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Yesterdays Piss
Nov 8, 2009

I just like watching new movies, and I don't care about who wins. Therefore, in my capacity as a senseless martyr, and as a gesture of goodwill towards all, I volunteer a list of vaguely interesting, but mostly unremarkable, movies by small-time directors. It can serve as a wild card to ensure that someone's fav gets a second wind in the first round if they're unfortunate enough to get a stinker.

Team Somebody's Gotta Go First (A.K.A Team Dollar Store Grab Bag )

Joel Potrykus:
Buzzard (2014)
The Alchemist Cookbook (2016)
Relaxer (2018)*

Violence Voyager (2019)

Zach Gayne:
Homewrecker (2019)

Mike Ahern and Enda Loughman:
Extra Ordinary (2019)

*Debbie referred to this as a horror during a stream, and who are we to say that she's wrong? Otherwise, I'm swapping it for Satoshi Kon's Perfect Blue, and your chances of being exposed to a dreaded anime are doubled. Choose wisely!


Yesterdays Piss
Nov 8, 2009

Mother Joan of the Angels

As I find the theme of crises of faith endlessly fascinating, I was really primed to enjoy this haunting, atmospheric film dripping with repressed sexuality and the exalting high of giving in to temptation. The first half, in particular, was faultless, amazing even. However, the film does not quite manage to sustain the slow-creeping menace and simmering lust it established at the beginning.

A Page of Madness
Beautiful, captivating and hypnotic. I really have to echo whoever said this felt impressively modern. It's probably the most well constructed silent film of the era that I've seen. However, it did not have the emotional impact that I was hoping it would have, and the ending felt a little unsatisfying.

The Bride
There is nothing particularly noteworthy about it at all.

Vote: It was a tough choice between MJofA and APoM, but my vote goes to Mother Joan of the Angels since it gave me chills. It is also a spite vote against Deb for spamming the spit girl in Discord so much.

Butterfly Kisses

I suppose I'm not the biggest fan of found-footage/urban legend flicks. I can't even think of one that I thought was more than just serviceable (maybe REC?). This is one falls within that category as well. It does some clever things with the genre, I'll give it that.


This was entertaining beyond my wildest expectations. And, while shallow, I appreciated the little socioeconomic nods in the storyline.

War of the Worlds

At some point, this kind of started to feel like I was watching a playthrough of an extended quick-time event. By the last act, I was kind of already bored. The ending just amplified it.

Vote: It's gotta be Bones, baby!

Yesterdays Piss
Nov 8, 2009


This was my first time seeing it, and, based on what everyone was saying, I was expecting much worse. I thought it was fine, especially next to some of the other movies we've watched up until now. It has all the requisite tropes for an Italian zombie movie: thick red paint for blood, a synth-centric score, stilted acting, well-time titty breaks, and ambitious shots that don't quite work due to a lack of budget.

The pacing was a bit of an issue for me. The opening is really strong, but it sets up an expectation for a much quicker momentum than the film ultimately ends up having. It does have a few really cool, gory scenes peppered throughout. I liked the gross putty zombies, the eye scene and the weirdly more dexterous aqua zombie. I'll never watch it again, but I don't feel like my time was wasted.

Time of the Wolf

This movie is a like dense, suffocating fog of unrelenting bleakness. It sets up a pervasive sense of danger in the very first few minutes to signal to the audience that no one is safe. Set in what seems to be the early days of a post-apocalypse, it manages to showcase the heartrending brutality, confusion, and mercilessness of its unsettling premise, but also the mundanity of it all. While there are a lot of horrifying scenes, a lot of the film is just people sitting around, going about their day-to-day, waiting and hoping for a train to pass that will bring them back to the city they had fled from. There is an omnipresent tension even in those scenes. But even then, I liked that, with a few exceptions, most people are working together and willing to show compassion for one another (e.g. sharing walkman, giving milk, etc.). It was a welcome change from a lot of dystopian films, which seem to have a central thesis that positions humanity as essentially monstrous at its core. This one seems to posit human beings as deeply flawed, but mostly good.

I did eventually find that the continuous stream of misery and the glacial pace was a little numbing, but the penultimate scene was so heartbreaking and beautiful in its despair and magnanimity that I almost cried. As someone who values emotional impact in movies above all else, that's my hallmark for a successful film. However, I feel no need to ever revisit it again.


My vote goes to Time of the Wolf.

Yesterdays Piss
Nov 8, 2009

See China and Die

I'm not sure who felt that what a failed TV pilot needed was an extra 30 minutes. I like a good whodunit, so I was immediately interested. I was really charmed by warm, headstrong Momma, who is just a joy to watch on screen. I'm glad I wasn't being overly sensitive about how she kind of felt a little "mammy"-like. Like, girl, you just singlehandedly solved a murder case. Have some more ambition for yourself than more maid work and a piece of Baked Alaska. Otherwise, the lure of loving around on my cellphone overrode my interest in whatever was going on at some point, and I checked out. I feel like I would have probably been hooked to the series it might have become after something like episode 3.

Singapore Sling

I'm just going to copy my review from the October challenge, when DDD was harassing anyone who would listen into watching this.


Some films are so unique in their concepts that they stay with you long after the credits roll. Singapore Sling has deposited an indelible layer of filth upon my brain, and I expect that I will never recover. My cheeks are still flushed as I write this.

This is the kind of film that must be watched as one eats an ortolan: under a veil to shield your shame from the eyes of God. It was a mesmerizing spectacle of the worst debauchery. It dares you to look away all while taunting you to get a good eyeful. And yet, it is oddly charming and amusing. The daughter, in particular, with her very strange acting choices and delivery, was very fun to watch.

This polyglottic film features a strange, almost jarring blend of neo-noir sensibilities and ribald, avant-garde theatre. Iím not quite sure that it was a seamless implementation (although that might have been the point), but I enjoyed both elements. Deranged sexual and murderous acts are perpetrated in the most sumptuous settings by deranged, incestuous women clad in luxurious clothing. Itís opulence covered in piss, and Iím here for it. The Marquis would be proud.

The experience taught me that I probably should screen whatever she recommends before I stream it in front of irl friends. I wanted to watch it again on my own, but I'm a little busy, and I feel like I would clearly vote for it over See China and Die regardless of a second viewing.

An easy vote for Singapore Sling


Yesterdays Piss fucked around with this message at 16:13 on Jan 26, 2021

Yesterdays Piss
Nov 8, 2009


This has everything you could want in a horror movie: amazingly gruesome effects; a simple, effective narrative; a reasonable length; and a delicate-featured, bespectacled creep. All in all, it's goofy fun that respects your time. The attempted head from the decapitated head scene and the cat scene were probably my favourite parts.

However, my participation in the previous bracketology may have dampened my enjoyment. The fact that I am now more familiar with Gordon/Yuzna productions may have made this film feel conventional. It feels very "been there, done that." The narrative centred on a hubristic scientist wanting to play god isn't particularly novel either, as entertaining as they made it here. There's also the fact that I'm not exactly sure if this was a rewatch or not, which is a bad sign in either case. It would imply that it's either unoriginal or forgettable.

The Woods

On the other hand, the law of lowered expectations may have played a hand in my enjoyment of The Woods, which you all found extremely mediocre. Frivolous as it is, an atmospheric horror with a majority female cast featuring witches and lesbian subtext is very much relevant to my interests. The set pieces are great, Patricia Clarkson gives an excellent performance, as usual, and I liked a lot of aspects of the world-building. Granted, it does feel like it could have developed certain things more thoroughly, but it's better to leave an audience wanting than to have them checking their watches. It's a nice little YA, coming-of-age horror.

As it stands, I was equally entertained by both films, albeit for different reasons. So, I'm going to be a lovely contrarian: The Woods has my vote, which is very likely to be the only one.

Yesterdays Piss fucked around with this message at 22:45 on Feb 14, 2021


Yesterdays Piss
Nov 8, 2009

I feel like I'm in the same basket for Showgirls and Julien Donkey-Boy, both of which I preferred (slightly and vastly, respectively) to the other films they were matched up against. I guess I understand the arguments framing Julien Donkey-Boy as a horror movie, but I personally experienced it as more of a tragicomedy. So, I find myself in the weird position of having to vote for the two films I liked the least.

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