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Bony-Eared Assfish
Oct 4, 2018
Racter, I think letting him loose in a building full of techbros will result in only good things.

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FoolyCharged
Oct 11, 2012

Cheating at a raffle? I sentence you to 1 year in jail! No! Two years! Three! Four! Five years! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!
Somebody call for an ant?

We should bring Blitz. It's not his game, but I'm sure his terrible decision-making power will allow him to overcome.

ChaosDragon
Jul 13, 2014
Gaichu

mr_stibbons
Aug 18, 2019
Racter

Fighting Trousers
May 17, 2011

Does this excite you, girl?

FoolyCharged posted:

We should bring Blitz. It's not his game, but I'm sure his terrible decision-making power will allow him to overcome.

Blitz would lose his thumbs so fast in Hong Kong.

The Lone Badger
Sep 24, 2007

Fighting Trousers posted:

Blitz would lose his thumbs so fast in Hong Kong.

Don’t need thumbs to deck. Or any fingers at all actually.

paragon1
Nov 22, 2010

FULL COMMUNISM NOW

The Lone Badger posted:

Don’t need thumbs to deck. Or any fingers at all actually.

Or legs! Really a brain in a jar with a cooperative friend can handle most decking tasks.

wiegieman
Apr 22, 2010

Royalty is a continuous cutting motion


Blitz isn't incompetent, he's actually pretty good -- keeping up with runners means you're novahot. He's just not as hot as he thinks, and Is0bel is probably better.

habeasdorkus
Nov 3, 2013

Royalty is a continuous shitposting motion.
Blitz would lose his thumbs because he's almost as good as he thinks he is and pissed off like three major corps plus the triads all at once. He'd have been extremely close to pulling off an incredible job, though.

Blitz rules.

FoolyCharged
Oct 11, 2012

Cheating at a raffle? I sentence you to 1 year in jail! No! Two years! Three! Four! Five years! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!
Somebody call for an ant?

wiegieman posted:

Blitz isn't incompetent, he's actually pretty good -- keeping up with runners means you're novahot. He's just not as hot as he thinks, and Is0bel is probably better.

Blitz is every bit what he hypes himself up as with decking.

It's just that every choice he ever makes outside of decking involves being given two options, looking at the worst one real hard, and then pulling out a choice that makes the previous worst option look like a good idea in comparison.

habeasdorkus
Nov 3, 2013

Royalty is a continuous shitposting motion.
Right, he'd have nearly gotten away scot free if he hadn't stiffed the maid at the hotel and left a crumpled up plan that led right back to him.

Kith
Sep 17, 2009

You never learn anything
by doing it right.


blitz is good, not smart. you would think that you'd need to be smart to be a decker, but blitz is the perfect example to disprove that.

kaosdrachen
Aug 15, 2011
Blitz is a perfect example of the difference between intelligence and wisdom.

Intelligence is being able to deck into Renraku's primary mainframe and getting away clean.

Wisdom is not bragging about it to the girl you're hitting on in a bar while Renraku is still looking for who did it.

Stroth
Mar 31, 2007

All Problems Solved

wiegieman posted:

Blitz isn't incompetent, he's actually pretty good -- keeping up with runners means you're novahot. He's just not as hot as he thinks, and Is0bel is probably better.

Is0bel is probably not quite his equal in the matrix honestly. But that's why she carries a grenade launcher.

Also Blitz projects everything he is about so hard that Auntie would have him thrown into the harbor the second he stepped out of the subway station just on general principle.

SpaceDrake
Dec 22, 2006

I can't avoid filling a game with awful memes, even if I want to. It's in my bones...!

quote:

* We will tie and gag Rhombus and stuff him into a storage closet.
- We will not be gentle.
- It's okay if he starts crying.
- Actually, pls. prioritize this. I want to see tears.

Best line in the entire game, fight me.

Absolutely cannot wait to see this run. And I'm gonna go against the grain and say Gobbet would know how to follow Is0bel's lead.

Bentai
Jul 8, 2004


NERF THIS!


I had a soft spot for Is0bel when I first started playing, but when I got to her side mission it was cemented. Yes Is0bel, I will absolutely shove this nerd into a locker for you.

Lead out in cuffs
Sep 18, 2012

"That's right. We've evolved."

"I can see that. Cool mutations."




Yeah I'm down with Racter.

DoctorTristan
Mar 11, 2006

I would look up into your lifeless eyes and wave, like this. Can you and your associates arrange that for me, Mr. Morden?
I think I picked Duncan when I played this through years ago, so I want to see what Racter does here.

Mindopali
Jun 7, 2023

Bentai posted:

I had a soft spot for Is0bel when I first started playing, but when I got to her side mission it was cemented. Yes Is0bel, I will absolutely shove this nerd into a locker for you.

It had the opposite effect on me. Well, opposite is too strong a word, it's not like the mission made me dislike Isobel. But I felt it was less inspired than the other personal missions. Still, it was years ago, I wonder what I remember and what I don't, maybe I'll change my mind once I see it again.

Kanfy
Jan 9, 2012

Just gotta keep walking down that road.
Alright, I think it's safe to call the vote, don't think I need to count it super closely to say that we'll be bringing Racter to DeckCon.

MJ12
Apr 8, 2009

FoolyCharged posted:

Blitz is every bit what he hypes himself up as with decking.

It's just that every choice he ever makes outside of decking involves being given two options, looking at the worst one real hard, and then pulling out a choice that makes the previous worst option look like a good idea in comparison.

Blitz is a perfect combination of incredible intelligence, an incredible lack of wisdom, and enough foolishness that he seems to have been protected by divine providence. The man canonically survives 30 years after he meets Monica's crew, you have to give him props for having the luck of a complete fool.

JT Jag
Aug 30, 2009

#1 Jaguars Sunk Cost Fallacy-Haver

wiegieman posted:

Blitz isn't incompetent, he's actually pretty good -- keeping up with runners means you're novahot. He's just not as hot as he thinks, and Is0bel is probably better.
Yeah, this is something that people lose sight of: literally any runner who survives while doing regular runs for longer than like 5 years is a scary motherfucker. The biggest failson of any given Shadowrun team is still probably one of the best dozen people at what they do in that city

habeasdorkus
Nov 3, 2013

Royalty is a continuous shitposting motion.

JT Jag posted:

Yeah, this is something that people lose sight of: literally any runner who survives while doing regular runs for longer than like 5 years is a scary motherfucker. The biggest failson of any given Shadowrun team is still probably one of the best dozen people at what they do in that city

Well, except for those deckers working with that team that needs to keep advertising for new deckers on the Hong Kong Shadowland bbs.

Keldulas
Mar 18, 2009
I'd say that those guys weren't exactly part of the team yet....

Mindopali
Jun 7, 2023

JT Jag posted:

Yeah, this is something that people lose sight of: literally any runner who survives while doing regular runs for longer than like 5 years is a scary motherfucker. The biggest failson of any given Shadowrun team is still probably one of the best dozen people at what they do in that city

Does this make Gobbet a sort of Alpha among shadowrunners for managing to survive that long while consistently killing off the rest of her various crews?

Stroth
Mar 31, 2007

All Problems Solved

Mindopali posted:

Does this make Gobbet a sort of Alpha among shadowrunners for managing to survive that long while consistently killing off the rest of her various crews?

To be fair she didn't so much kill them off as fail to save them from their own idiocy. Not quite the same thing.


Also: for all that she's a joker, and I'm pretty sure an actual teenager, she's also a terrifyingly powerful Shaman.

Mindopali
Jun 7, 2023

Stroth posted:

To be fair she didn't so much kill them off as fail to save them from their own idiocy. Not quite the same thing.


Also: for all that she's a joker, and I'm pretty sure an actual teenager, she's also a terrifyingly powerful Shaman.

That's true, but even jokingly, the point would still remain. It's already hardass to survive long as a shadowrunner, even in a crew of smart people. It goes into legend territory to do so while your crew composed largely of idiots keeps on dying.

I already liked Gobbet for being a foody with a tendency for horrible food - sometimes, it's the little things in the writing that make you like a character - but I can't wait to see her personal quest again. It's one of the parts of the game I remember the most vividly and fondly. And the music during that quest sells the mood extremely well.

Yeowch!!! My Balls!!!
May 31, 2006

Stroth posted:

To be fair she didn't so much kill them off as fail to save them from their own idiocy. Not quite the same thing.


Also: for all that she's a joker, and I'm pretty sure an actual teenager, she's also a terrifyingly powerful Shaman.

Rat has a soft spot for awful garbage children

Keldulas
Mar 18, 2009

Stroth posted:

To be fair she didn't so much kill them off as fail to save them from their own idiocy. Not quite the same thing.


Also: for all that she's a joker, and I'm pretty sure an actual teenager, she's also a terrifyingly powerful Shaman.

Yeah, it's kind of worth noting that her specialized spirit related powers are objectively pretty bonkers in terms of the Shadowrun universe. Spirits are meant to be powerhouses with only very specific solutions, and said application of solutions is still supposed to take effort. She can just banish/highjack them at will.

Lord Draco
Jan 27, 2023
Kanfy I hope your doing well and wanted to say that I've read your Returns, Dragon Fall and now Hong Kong LPs over the past few days and I'm looking forward to the next Post.

Kanfy
Jan 9, 2012

Just gotta keep walking down that road.

Lord Draco posted:

Kanfy I hope your doing well and wanted to say that I've read your Returns, Dragon Fall and now Hong Kong LPs over the past few days and I'm looking forward to the next Post.

Good to have you, for me last month wasn't the best but this one's been okay. Should be an update next week at the latest if nothing comes up, just gotta put some more words next to other words between the pictures.

achtungnight
Oct 5, 2014
I get my fun here. Enjoy!
Looking forward to the next update. This game is great and your LP is too.

JT Jag
Aug 30, 2009

#1 Jaguars Sunk Cost Fallacy-Haver
Same, these Shadowrun games are some of my favorite RPGs ever and you do a great job presenting them.

Kanfy
Jan 9, 2012

Just gotta keep walking down that road.
Part 36 - Conventional Software





NEW MUSIC:












I'm here, yeah. You're kind of breaking up, though.

Yeah, I kno--

[More white noise.]

--nnection here is crap. The comms keep cutting ou--

First signs of trouble before we've even gotten started with anything? Seems we have another "simple" run in the making, alright.

This doesn't bode well. Aren't you going to be giving us instructions over the comm?

Yeah, hang on a se--

[Static.]

--na try to boost our signal stren--



There. That's better. What a pain in the rear end this is. There's way too much interference coming from the show floor... we aren't going to be able to rely on our commlinks for this. I'll find us a workaround.

I hope that you do it fast. This entire plan hinges on our being able to communicate.

Like I said, I'll find a workaround. For now, let's concentrate on the task at hand. The catering staff should all be in the kitchen, hauling trays of steamed clams and aperitifs out to the convention hall floor. I'm gonna need you to find a way to get me one of their uniforms - one that will fit someone my size.

What if there aren't any that'll fit you?

There will be. Hotel guidelines require the catering company to have uniforms suitable for all metatypes on hand for major events. It's a contingency thing, just in case they need to bring in temp workers on short notice.

If you're that certain of this, let's go ahead with it. What's the worst that could happen?

Don't say that. It's bad luck. Oh, and Taz? We aren't going loud yet - you got that? Whatever you do, don't start shooting. We can't afford to send Rhombus running before we can get him cornered.

Right. No shooting until we have Rhombus. Got it.



Well, no going back now. To recap, this Rhombus is a decker carrying some sort of software Is0bel wants to get her hands on. She is to infiltrate the admin wing and access the computer there to upgrade our guest badge to VIP status, after which we're to lure the target into the VIP wing and make him give up the goods, preferably while avoiding being needlessly gentle with the man. It all sounded kinda personal to Is0bel, but she hasn't been very forthcoming with the details.



We also brought Racter with us, nothing says infiltration like having a large heavily armed drone follow you around. You can actually see the red shotgun mount on his right... arm? that he's had installed since the last time we've seen him on the field.



No staff or guards in sight back here, so we're free to stare suspiciously at things like this vulnerable-looking alarm panel.





At least vulnerable to people who know how to sweet-talk electronics into committing sin, but this is the one time when we can't have Is0bel do it for us for obvious reasons. We can look at some maintenance logs though.



Not sure how relevant this is to us, but all the best to Chef Bun in their future endeavors, with a name like that they were clearly born for the job.



We pass by a conveniently drone-sized vent, and as it happens we have a conveniently vent-sized drone with us. But we're actually going to avoid exploring it for now. Yeah, very unlike us, but call it a shadowrunner's intuition.



The door nearby leads to the kitchen, statistically the most likely place to find the kitchen uniform we're after.



You! What are you doing in my kitchen!?

[He glances at your chest. Sees the visitor badge hanging from the lanyard that Is0bel gave you dangling around your neck.]

Convention-goers are *not allowed* beyond the show floor!

I smelled clams. Are you steaming clams back here?

[He growls in exasperation.]

Yes, idiot! Yes, we are! And if you want some, you're going to have to wait on the show floor with everyone else!

I really like your uniform. Could I buy one for my daughter?

[He stares at you.]

You want to buy one of our uniforms?

Yeah... an extra-small one, if you've got it. I think that she'd love that kitten logo.

[His mouth tightens.]

It isn't a kitten. It's supposed to be a celestial tiger.

It looks like a kitten to me.

[He hangs his head low, color creeping into his cheeks.]

...Yeah. I know. I keep telling our graphic designer, but he never listens. You want a uniform? Five hundred nuyen. Pay up or get out.



To be honest that was mostly a rhetorical question, five hundred is a fortune in this economy and even if we could haggle that down, we probably still couldn't afford it, not after our shopping spree back in Heoi.

Too steep, forget about it.

Then leave my kitchen! Get out!



As we're heading out to look for other and hopefully cheaper opportunities...



Hey. Couldn't help but overhear you back there. You need a uniform?

Maybe. You offering one?

Yes, but not for free. You do me a favor, and this uniform...

[She tugs at the wet fabric.]

...Is yours.

Is0bel would probably appreciate a cleaner one, but we can't afford to be too picky right now.

Tell me what you want me to do.

There's a guy on the show floor. An elf, one of those deckers. Most of them are cool, but this one has been a prick to me for the entire show. First, he tried to chat me up while I was out serving drinks, and he wouldn't take no for an answer. Creepy. Then, when he finally got the hint, he started trying to trip me!

I managed to keep my footing the first three or four times, but he finally got me. Put his foot into the back of my knee and pushed. I hit the floor, and I took an entire tray of five-nuyen wine with me. Now I'm drenched, the wine is coming out of my paycheck, and he's out there on the floor laughing about it.

Why come to me? Why not get hotel security involved?

I already tried that. He had some little friends that vouched for him... they all seemed to think that it was a hilarious joke. And the security camera feed was mysteriously corrupted, so I don't have any proof of what happened. Look, I don't know if this guy is a racist, or if he has emotional problems, or what... maybe he just hates me because I'm a girl. But if you'll knock him on his rear end out there, and this uniform is yours.

All right. One broken jaw, coming up.

[She rubs her hands together excitedly.]

Ooh, boy! This is gonna be good!



Is0bel was very insistent that we should avoid shooting people, but she didn't say anything about punching them. Plus you'd be surprised what a gentle and quiet process breaking someone's face can be if you know what you're doing.



The main convention area is big and bustling with all kinds of flashy nerd stuff. Must be a real garden of delights if you're deep in this kinda scene.



We're here purely on business though, and this guy here is about to become part of it.





[He eyes you nervously.]

Hey, you want something from me? What's up?

We could just sucker punch him right away, but it's a civilized society, we should at least get to know to know each other before moving on to physical assault.

Just wanted to get to know my fellow con-goers. You from Council Island?

Yeah. What gave me away?

[He makes a point of showing off his jacket. The tribal insignias look strangely out of place here on the DeckCon floor.]

You from Seattle?

The Redmond Barrens, actually.

No drek? Wow. That place is fragging *intense,* chummer.

[The Seattle shadowslang sounds incredibly awkward when delivered in Cantonese, but he doesn't seem to notice.]

Council Island is NAN territory, and you don't look Amerindian. What's your deal?

I'm not Amerindian. I do live on Council Island, though. My dad is a diplomat from Tír na nÓg. We live on the island... actually, they treat us like kings there.

But... you look Chinese. Tír na nÓg is in Ireland, isn't it?

[He nods slowly.]

This might come as a shock to you, but there *are* Asian people in Ireland. I mean, we do exist there. As it happens, my father is related by marriage to a minor member of the Connaught family. That's one of the Tuatha Dé Danaan, if you didn't know. You *have* heard of the Tuatha Dé Danaan, haven't you?

Uh... yeah, sure. Of course I have.

Ruling families of the place, or something along those lines anyway.

Good. Then you know how important they are, and how important my dad is through them. That makes *me* important, too. Back on Council island, we can get away with pretty much anything.

[He gives you a conspiratorial wink.]

It's a pretty great life.

I bet. So, is there anything in specific that you're here to see?

Yeah, I'm here to check out the '57 Fuchi cyberdecks. My '55 Cyber-7 is barely cutting it these days. I wanna see what they're coming out with next year, and I've heard that they have a demo station.

So, uh, tell me... what's your favorite new ESP for incursion operations? I like BlastHammer, personally. Heard of it? It's open source, developed by the Southeast Asian decking community. Does a number on Blocker IC.

BlastHammer? I've never heard of it.



Sure is a big mouth on our man here, could probably fit an entire fist into that thing. Especially if you removed some of the teeth that are in the way first. Forcefully.

Learn something new every day, I guess.

Yeah, you said it! You'd better get with the program if you wanna survive out here.

[He leers at you, his expression all smugness and superiority.]

I mean... I'm just sayin'.

Anyway, I've heard that you've been giving one of the caterers a hard time.

[He smirks at you.]

A caterer? Who?

Come on, man. You know who I'm talking about.

You're talking about the dwarf girl. And yeah... I tripped her up. It was funny as hell, she went down like a sack of potatoes. All the crystal shattered when it hit the floor. But I'm telling you, she *deserved* it.

Deserved it? How?

The dumb halfer talked down to me... *me,* the son of a diplomat. She had to learn that you don't *do* that. Especially not when *I'm* rich, and *she's* the help. That isn't how life works!

Alright, let no one say we didn't give everyone involved a fair chance to give their side of the story here. It's about time we deliver the ending to it that everyone's been waiting for.

She was right. You're in serious need of a broken jaw.

Wait. What?

So I'm going to break your jaw now. Wait for it...

What?!





Ka-pow!



And with another job done with style and finesse, it's time to return to Larissa and...



...walk right past her and back to that ventilation shaft we passed by earlier, this time having Racter send Koschei to explore its innards. Why now and not before, you ask? Silly, we don't even know who you are, and we were taught not to answer weird questions from strangers. That kind of thing could get you punched in the face.





Anyway, Koschei emerges in an employee changing area, and what do you know, inside a locker he finds the exact kitchen uniform we've been looking for this whole time. Oops, guess we didn't actually need to go smash the face of that jerkass, if only we'd been more thorough!



Ah well, let's bring Larissa the good news anyway.



My pleasure. Don't need the uniform, though - I've already got one.

[Her smile fades into confused frown.]

But, then... why did you do it? Don't you want anything in return?



What, you're saying that instead of the uniform we now get to pick something else? Who knew this strangely specific order of things would've let to... Ah alright, enough messing around. It's probably obvious by now what we've really been after from the very start.

Sure, got any clams?

[She snatches a plate of clams from a tray that's being prepared for one of the VIP rooms.]

Yeah, sure, go nuts. Stuff your pockets if you want to.

We could eat the clams now of course, but who knows what greater potential they might hold?

[Take some clams for later.] I'd rather have these and not need them than need them and not have them.





Mmmm, steamed pocket clams!

Well, thanks. Enjoy the show. I have to get back to my shift.



Next we'll take our mollusk-filled pockets to the next logical place, namely the men's bathroom, and do the logical thing, namely striking up a conversation with some weird guy hanging around inside the men's bathroom.



Hey, there. Are you uh...

[He checks the screen of his PDA.]

..."The Imperator"? 'Cause if you are, I... uh... I got your stuff.

Yup! That's me.

Great. Great, great.

[He lifts an overstuffed plastic shopping bag.]

Here, you wanna see the whole stock? Or do you just wanna buy the items that we discussed?

Just give me what we agreed on, I guess.

All right. I oughtta warn you, though... Hyper-EX ain't cheap.

[He extends his bag and opens it wide. Down at the bottom, buried under a mountain of loose pills, is a shiny plastic bottle.]

It's the bottle. You're gonna have to fish it out if you want it. And, uh, be careful... I think that there are a few loose needles in there.

Sure, I'll take a look. Why not?



The clearly trustworthy man sells some clearly trustworthy generic drugs, but thanks to our blatant lies, also the unique variant Hyper EX, a real collector's item available only in selected DeckCon bathrooms. We buy one as a souvenir and throw it into our pocket together with the clams. Got all the makings of a proper seafood party down there now.



This has all been very fun, but it's probably about time we get started on the actual mission here.



You're here. Good. I was getting tired of hanging out in the ladies' room. You have the uniform?

(Catering Uniform) There you go.

[She eyes the embroidery of the logo, nodding.]

Good... good. This will work. All right. I'm gonna change into this thing and hightail it to the employees-only door on the far side of the convention hall. They'll let me in, even without a badge... they'll just figure that some rich guy wants a drink.

Where's the VIP area?

On the other side of the convention floor. I'll have to cross the show floor to do it, but that should be safe enough. Nobody pays attention to the catering staff at these things.

(If Gobbet was around...)

quote:

[Gobbet perks up.]

I do!

[Is0bel scowls.]

...Nobody who isn't preoccupied with stuffing her face pays attention to the catering staff.

[Gobbet nods sagely.]

That is fair.

So I'll make my way across, pass through the door, and take the elevator up to the admin wing on the sixth floor. All that you need to do is take your position and wait for my instructions *without* raising an alarm. Pretty simple stuff. Should be foolproof, assuming that you don't screw anything up. Do you have any questions?

Oh, if "we" don't screw anything up? Awfully confident of Ms. Badass Infiltrator considering hers seems like the much more difficult side of this operation.

Have you figured out what you're going to do about that spotty commlink connection?



It isn't a perfect solution, but it beats having to deal with a dropped connection. Just be sure to grab the kiosk when you're in position. Don't let anyone else get to it.

What am I supposed to do on the show floor again?

Wait by the VIP area door. When I identify Rhombus, you'll apprehend him and tell him that he's the lucky winner of a complimentary VIP pass upgrade. You'll escort him through the VIP doors and to a room that I'll have empty and waiting. Then we'll all get the software from him together, beat him up, and stash him in a closet.

What should I do between when you leave and when you get in position?

Walk the show floor. Mingle. Try to look like you belong here. Just... try not to say or do anything that'll stand out in a bad way. You're supposed to be a hot new decker in town, try to act the part.

Of course, we're very good at mingling and not standing out. By the way does it count if we knock out a guy right in the middle of the show floor in front of literally everyone if most of them seem kinda okay with it and NOT angry or dunno, shouting for security afterwards? Technically that's not standing out in a "bad way", right? Yeah, thought not.

No more questions. Let's hit it.



Next time: We mingle, a.k.a. launch operation "How do you do, fellow deckers?"












- Larissa only talks to you with her offer if you don't have a kitchen uniform by that point, meaning the only way to obtain the pocket clams is to specifically avoid all opportunities to get one before that point, and then acquiring one before returning to her (since otherwise she just rewards you with the uniform). Even then you need a drone for the vent, you need to pick clams as your reward (she won't pay anything even if you ask for money) and you need to avoid eating them (or feeding them to Gobbet if she's there). So yeah, they're very exclusive clams.
- You can warn the jerkass con goer and tell him to fake being hit if you're feeling particularly soft, though nobody in the crowd buys it and you just kinda get laughed at. Or you can warn him you're gonna fake punch him and then punch him for real anyway.


---


The other crew members' comments at the start of the run:

Reminds me of that dump we squatted in back in Bear Creek. The motel with the raccoon problem. Little bastards kept me up half the night, every night. I swear that one of 'em was eyeballing me.

-

It smells like clams in here.

[She wrinkles her nose, sniffing.]

Clams, and something else... tequila, maybe? Some kind of sour liquor. It's hard to tell.

-

This place reeks of crushed hopes and shoddy workmanship.

[He grabs the time card reader with one hand. Straightens it. It holds for a moment, then begins to slide.]

Can you imagine having to tolerate such conditions? It's a miracle that workplace violence is so rare.


---


Both the Corporate and Socilate etiquettes can be used to help acquire a uniform from the kitchen manager. This naturally skips Larissa's punching job and its potential rewards.

(Socialite) Please forgive my impertinence. I have a gala event to cater, and I was hoping to book you for the event.

[He raises an eyebrow, his curiosity piqued.]

A gala event, you say? In that case, please forgive me. I hadn't realized that I was speaking with a woman of quality.

You are, my good man. The only concern that I have is your uniforms... I'm not certain that they'll work with our decor.

I'm sure that some arrangement can be made...

[He taps at a device on his wrist, and in the corner of the room, a door opens with a click.]

Here. Why don't you take a spare uniform to compare against your event space? If it doesn't work for you, we can come to a compromise.

What a splendid idea. I'm looking forward to working with you, sir.

And I with you! When you're ready to book us, please contact our main office and ask to speak with Fan. She'll take good care of you. Now, if you'll excuse me, I really must get back to work.

-

(Corporate) I'm here at the behest of my employer, Wuxing, Inc. Perhaps you have heard of us?

[He stops short.]

Yes. Everybody's heard of Wuxing. But... what do you want with me?

Our CEO, Mr. Wu Lung-Wei, likes your food. He would like to offer you a permanent location in one of our corporate food courts.

[His eyes go wide.]

Y-yes, yes, of course! I am *so* sorry for the rough treatment that I gave you when I found you in my kitchen! Normally, I would *never* have--

Of course you wouldn't. Now, I'll need to bring my employers one of your uniforms for branding purposes.

One of our uniforms? Yes, of course! Take as many as you need!

[He fumbles with a device on his wrist, and a door in the corner of the room opens with a click.]

Good decision. You're about to become a very wealthy man.

Oh, thank you, ma'am!

[As you turn away, he bows frantically after you.]

This is the happiest day of my life!


---


Bringing Gaichu gives some extra dialogue when meeting the punchable con goer:

[The decker's eyes track from you to Gaichu, and his face lights up.]

Hey, man, nice costume! That armor almost looks like real metal!

[He leans in for a closer look.]

What's it made out of? Foam? Thermoplastic?

It is metal. Dikoted and battle worn.

[Brief pause.]

I am... very devoted to authenticity.

[His jaw drops open.]

No drek? Man, how rich *are* you? That stuff isn't cheap!


---


Decent ESP Control skill allows for making a proper retort when the guy tries to show off about his ESP knowledge:

So, uh, tell me... what's your favorite new ESP for incursion operations? I like BlastHammer, personally. Heard of it? It's open source, developed by the Southeast Asian decking community. Does a number on Blocker IC.

(ESP Control 5) BlastHammer is old hat, and most of the big corps have easy counters for it. Keep relying on that relic and you're gonna wind up in the morgue.

Really? *Wow.*

[He tugs at his collar. Suddenly, he's out of his comfort zone.]

I, uh... I didn't know.

You should have known. Here's a pro-tip: if you ever want to blend in with the professional decking community, learn your stuff *before* you try to impress someone.

Well. Uh. Thanks for the advice.

[He looks away awkwardly. His voice takes on an apologetic tone.]

I'm kinda new in town, in case you hadn't guessed.

Yeah, I kinda had.

[He nods miserably.]

...I don't really do the small talk thing much. It isn't my thing.


---


Hacking the alarm panel at the start of the mission allows for activating the kitchen sprinklers and driving the staff away, of course once again forfeiting Larissa's offer and the whole guy punching part. This also soaks the uniform in the process which doesn't make a difference in practice, but leads to some extra dialogue with Is0bel:

You're here. Good. I was getting tired of hanging out in the ladies' room. You have the uniform?

(Catering Uniform) There you go.

One question for you, though.

[She gives the fabric a squeeze, and a stream of water spatters to the tile floor.]

Why is this thing soaking wet?

I might have activated the sprinklers in the kitchen. A bit.

[She shakes her head.]

Taz... why do you destroy everything you touch?

It's just a personality quirk of mine.

[She stares at you for a moment longer, then closes her eyes. Shakes her head again to clear it.]

...Anyway. I'm gonna change into this wet, disgusting jacket and hightail it to the employees-only door on the far side of the convention hall.

[She continues wringing the wet fabric while she talks, grimacing in distaste.]

Gun Jam
Apr 11, 2015
Whole part with the clams - both very "game-y", and I ain't sure how you supposed to figure it out by yourself.

Kanfy posted:



Not sure how relevant this is to us, but all the best to Chef Bun in their future endeavors, with a name like that they were clearly born for the job.

Obligatory: "I thought they said the catering will be grilled hamburgers"
("This is the first thing you think when you hear steamed clams?" Yeah, ain't shellfish county over here)

achtungnight
Oct 5, 2014
I get my fun here. Enjoy!
I hear steamed hams are very popular in Utica. Or is it Albany?

As the actual son of a diplomat (my stepfather was Italian trade rep to Taiwan for several years), I would have punched that joker in the face too. You need to properly respect the help, man. Just because they serve you doesn't mean they have to like you. And they could do a lot worse to you than public face punching. Heh.

habeasdorkus
Nov 3, 2013

Royalty is a continuous shitposting motion.
It's an absolute sin that you can only bring one companion with you on this jaunt, because between Gaichu and Gobbet there's an absolute goldmine of good stuff.

Too bad Harebrained Schemes are all but dead as a studio now.

FoolyCharged
Oct 11, 2012

Cheating at a raffle? I sentence you to 1 year in jail! No! Two years! Three! Four! Five years! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!
Somebody call for an ant?

You just made me google them, and goddamn they lost they rights to everything they made? That's depressing.

Although it does seem they have something in the pipes they're shopping around to get published as of their release this week, so dead might be overstating things.

FoolyCharged fucked around with this message at 05:55 on Jan 29, 2024

habeasdorkus
Nov 3, 2013

Royalty is a continuous shitposting motion.
I mean, 80% of the studio got laid off last summer and Lamplighter's League appears to have been a massive bust, but they aren't technically dead yet.

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Lead out in cuffs
Sep 18, 2012

"That's right. We've evolved."

"I can see that. Cool mutations."




habeasdorkus posted:

I mean, 80% of the studio got laid off last summer and Lamplighter's League appears to have been a massive bust, but they aren't technically dead yet.

IIRC the layoffs happened well before they were even done making Lamplighters' League, so it was released super unfinished.

Not even sure where they go from here.

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