The Cult of 18

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Goons Are Gifts

There's a secret power ruling over SA. The entire internet, the entire world, actually.
It's this unstoppable force of power:

The 18 hour probation. All by itself, it fixed everything that ever went wrong here and in the world.
Let's hear some expert opinions from the mod forum:

an important mod posted:

Sometimes i think about giving out an 18 hour probe but it has to feel right it can�t be just thrown around.

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

I invited the 18 hour probation, and all problems were solved. All hail 18 hour probations.

another very important name posted:

The 18 hour probation bought my house and solved all my problems. It helped me grow better and punished my enemies. It's the perfect god to pray to.

i love 18h probes posted:

i sacrificed money and everything I own to the 18h probe and now I am a better and fulfilled person i hope someone can make a cult about it

As you can see, the 18h probation is an important ally in every matter of life. It is barely ever given out due to the holy name it carries and I believe we should change that. We should not be afraid of the unstable power a god like that can unleash, we should invite them and wield them ourselves.

Let's plan how to sacrifice to this important forum feature ITT that is so much more than that. If you want, I can also bless you with a very important rapsheet entry with the holy entry of the 18 hour probation. Be blessed.

# ? Dec 11, 2020 01:54

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# ? Apr 19, 2024 10:51

Heather Papps: hello friend

6+6+6=18
think about it

thanks Dumb Sex-Parrot and deep dish peat moss for this winter bounty!

# ? Dec 11, 2020 01:55

HugeGrossBurrito

there is a power here that has to be wielded carefully

# ? Dec 11, 2020 02:06

Amp

Me and Relax or DIE are what you would call 18 hour hipsters

# ? Dec 11, 2020 02:07

Goons Are Gifts

I'm going to do it, I'm going to self probe to find salvation

# ? Dec 11, 2020 02:07

Amp

Glutes Are Great posted:

I'm going to do it, I'm going to self probe to find salvation

post in games real quick first

# ? Dec 11, 2020 02:08

Goons Are Gifts

I just did
https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?noseen=1&threadid=3949810&pagenumber=79&perpage=40#post510645527

# ? Dec 11, 2020 02:10

Amp

Glutes Are Great posted:

I just did
https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?noseen=1&threadid=3949810&pagenumber=79&perpage=40#post510645527

you're too nice i'm so trigger shy i'm just glad you posted in games now :3:

# ? Dec 11, 2020 02:11

Goons Are Gifts

see? this is what the 18 hour probe brings us! posts and joy and happiness, just from mentioning it

# ? Dec 11, 2020 02:12

Heather Papps: hello friend

the probe of the beast

thanks Dumb Sex-Parrot and deep dish peat moss for this winter bounty!

# ? Dec 11, 2020 02:13

Kaiser Schnitzel: Schnitzel mit uns

I was hovering over the 18hr button last night, but I did not think the poster in quo was ready for it so I did 24 instead.

And more importantly, I knew I still was not ready. Perhaps, someday...

https://i.imgur.com/R8ctked.mp4
ty Manifisto for this wonderful sig!

# ? Dec 11, 2020 02:17

Red Alert 2 Yuris Revenge: "My brain is amazing! It's full of wrinkles, and... Uh... Wait... What am I trying to say?"

as the most well known of the 18 hour club, I say everyone should both experience an 18 hour probe and, if possible, give one.

it's transcendent

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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

# ? Dec 11, 2020 02:27

Amp

I could drive to Walden Pond, read Walden, think about Walden at Walden Pond and drive home in 18 hours, easy.

# ? Dec 11, 2020 02:29

Ansar Santa

That seems too dangerous. Too powerful for mortals to wield...

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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

# ? Dec 11, 2020 02:31

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN: I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.

gently caress me up, op. In 18 hours I will be a new man, a better man.

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

# ? Dec 11, 2020 02:43

HugeGrossBurrito

I am ready.

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

# ? Dec 11, 2020 02:49

Amp

HugeGrossBurrito posted:

I am ready.

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

# ? Dec 11, 2020 02:51

Heather Papps: hello friend

if only i'd had the courage. when hugegrossburrito posted i quoted them, typed out PROBE THIS BURRITO then thought it wasn't very byob

probe me for failing to :justpost:

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

thanks Dumb Sex-Parrot and deep dish peat moss for this winter bounty!

# ? Dec 11, 2020 02:55

Red Alert 2 Yuris Revenge: "My brain is amazing! It's full of wrinkles, and... Uh... Wait... What am I trying to say?"

HugeGrossBurrito posted:

I am ready.

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

send me back, i want nothing more than to be an 18er

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

# ? Dec 11, 2020 03:06

Mistle: Eckot's comic relief cousin from out of town

I saw someone with the legendary 18 hour probe and was drawn to this thread like a moth named Icarus to a flame that shone like the sun.

Did I fly too close?

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

# ? Dec 11, 2020 03:29

Joey McChrist

HIT ME BABY

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

# ? Dec 11, 2020 03:35

Prurient Squid: Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.

I deserve a probation for doing that Yoritomo/Yoshitsune thing and then not following it up with anything.

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

# ? Dec 11, 2020 04:04

nut

my probe can buy beer in ontario in another year

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

# ? Dec 11, 2020 04:19

biosterous

i've got my robe on and i'm chanting as hard as i can!!! i am ready!

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

^{^{thank you saoshyant for this sig!!!}}
^{^{gallery of sigs}}

he/him

# ? Dec 11, 2020 04:21

Bingo Bango

Am I worthy of the 18h probe? Only the mods can judge me now.

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

# ? Dec 11, 2020 04:21

spooky ghost

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

# ? Dec 11, 2020 04:41

alnilam

Please initiate me, i am ready

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

_{ty manifisto}

# ? Dec 11, 2020 04:58

GRINDCORE MEGGIDO

Why not op, it's been too long.

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

# ? Dec 11, 2020 05:13

Kaiser Schnitzel: Schnitzel mit uns

I shall undertake this quest, but I must prepare myself physically, mentally, and spiritually. I shall be ready by....Saturday evening.

https://i.imgur.com/R8ctked.mp4
ty Manifisto for this wonderful sig!

# ? Dec 11, 2020 05:29

Moo Cowabunga: [Office Worker.

you�d be amazed at how much posting I can do in 18h

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

Platinum User Pot Smoke Phoenix!

VANISHER

HEATHER PAPPS

https://giant.gfycat.com/WellgroomedImperfectHaddock.webm the vanisher

# ? Dec 11, 2020 06:12

Moo Cowabunga: [Office Worker.

e. shitposting

Platinum User Pot Smoke Phoenix!

VANISHER

HEATHER PAPPS

https://giant.gfycat.com/WellgroomedImperfectHaddock.webm the vanisher

# ? Dec 11, 2020 06:12

RickRogers: Woh, is that a thing I like??

I found this cult with the search:
XXX-Barely Legal Probes, first time probe with older goon.

Not what I was expecting, but pleasantly surprised

# ? Dec 11, 2020 07:02

Goons Are Gifts

Relax Or DIE posted:

send me back, i want nothing more than to be an 18er

And yet, somehow, a magical force drove my hand, handing you a sixer instead of what you deserved. I don't feel guilty for screwing this up, I feel guilty for not listening to the voice of the god we worship here.

I shall pay tribute by a dirty 6er now. I am not worthy of an 18 yet.

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

# ? Dec 11, 2020 11:49

Evil Bob: 've lived a thousand times. I found out what it means to be GBS.

Heather Papps posted:

6+6+6=18
think about it

This is literally enough reason for me. I'm sold.

# ? Dec 11, 2020 16:14

Prof. Crocodile

Man I hope this works out better than that time I joined the Rajneesh movement, or that time I joined Scientology, or that time I joined NXIVM, or that time I joined the People's Temple, or that time I joined the BTS ARMY.

Prof. Crocodile fucked around with this message at 18:27 on Dec 11, 2020

# ? Dec 11, 2020 18:21

Horrible Butts

Fly me to the Moon*

*18 hour probation

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

https://giant.gfycat.com/sillyremorsefuldipper.webm
_{Thank you Prof. Crocodile for the fun festive winter sig!

Arcane gob born of Khanstant's goblin gumball machine!}

# ? Dec 11, 2020 20:28

RickRogers: Woh, is that a thing I like??

True story:
I had a super realistic dream about waking up to find grey aliens in my room when I was about 10. I hid under my blankets and hoped they hadn't noticed me being awake. I then peaked out and they were staring right into my eyes. I then blacked out deep into sleep and woke up fine the next morning.
It was so realistic and I remember the event so well I am seriously to this day not sure if I got probed or not.

So please 18 hour probe me and make me a believer.

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

# ? Dec 11, 2020 20:57