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Ooooh you think you're so big and bad. Sleeping down in R'lyeh like your some drat bigshot. How about you wake your rear end up and do something already! What're you even gonna do if you wake up, huh? You gonna open my mind to the vastness of the cosmos and how infinitely small and helpless I am to resist the unyielding machinations of the stars? Eh? Are you gonna force me to confront the inevitability of a cold, uncaring universe that has no mind and no will and yet will still grind me beneath the unstoppable mill of time?! That's called every single day now, moron! Fuckin dumbass elder gods thinking that nihilism scares us any more. Post ITT about how mad you are that the infinite horrors of the universe are now mundane and boring and the literary representations of them no longer hold any power or mythicism!
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Dec 12, 2020 06:19
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Cthulhu is basically a huge hipster, sleeping all the time because of crushing nihilist depression before it was cool.
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Dec 12, 2020 06:23
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Reminder that the great god cthulhu got his rear end kicked by a scared guy in a steamboat
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Dec 12, 2020 06:25
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lol he lives underwater like aquaman, the stupidest hero
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Dec 12, 2020 06:25
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Derpies posted:lol he lives underwater like aquaman, the stupidest hero a god breathing the cum of all the sea beings
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Dec 12, 2020 06:30
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Oooh a dollar store jolly green giant with an octopus face, like I'm really sacred.
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Dec 12, 2020 06:30
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worse: a god actively filtering out sea cum to eat in order to survive a long deep slumber on the sustinence of cum from everything else with many mouth tenticals
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Dec 12, 2020 06:31
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nothing wrong with eating the cum of other creatures just not for sustaining a god imo
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Dec 12, 2020 06:32
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drat proud to be postin in a dope rear end thread like this
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Dec 12, 2020 06:33
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Derpies posted:lol he lives underwater like aquaman, the stupidest hero I'm 100% sure Aquaman punched Cthulhu right in his dumbass face in some comic. I don't know how anyone could live down getting punched by Aquaman, the most useless Super Friend
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Dec 12, 2020 06:33
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runnypoops posted:drat proud to be postin in a dope rear end thread like this  
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Dec 12, 2020 06:35
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Why haven’t we evolved to have stomach ribs? Eat me up to my heart. 
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Dec 12, 2020 07:26
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Cthulhu has tentacles. Therefore, Cthulhu is anime. Change my mind.
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Dec 12, 2020 07:36
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Cthulhu needs a better PR department after this 4 year debacle in the US if he wants to pull of whatever the gently caress doom and gloom master plan he's been sleeping on since ageless eternity
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Dec 12, 2020 07:49
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I bet R'lyeh smells awful and Cthulhu slumbers in a pile of his own poo poo
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Dec 12, 2020 08:18
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MOOBS! posted:nothing wrong with eating the cum of other creatures just not for sustaining a god imo Unless it's a cum god, right?
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Dec 12, 2020 09:01
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Dec 12, 2020 09:03
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Weka posted:Unless it's a cum god, right? not wrong: a god of cum should be able o both control and also eat cum
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Dec 12, 2020 09:13
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in fact the eating of cum seems like what a cum god would do ala a soul god just eating souls therefor cthulhuhu must be a god of cum as a deep sleeping filter feeeder
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Dec 12, 2020 09:15
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cthulhu calls it marine snow but we all know what that means
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Dec 12, 2020 09:17
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Goons are bound to know: how big is an octopus's rear end in a top hat? Could a human head fit in there? Thinking about next year's halloween costume. A dead octopus, mind you. I'm not a weirdo.
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Dec 12, 2020 11:47
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Icochet posted:Goons are bound to know: how big is an octopus's rear end in a top hat? Could a human head fit in there? Thinking about next year's halloween costume. A dead octopus, mind you. I'm not a weirdo. You know that tube that's on the side of the 'pus? That's the one. That's the butthole. It's also their jet engine.
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Dec 12, 2020 12:05
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Who What Now posted:Ooooh you think you're so big and bad. Sleeping down in R'lyeh like your some drat bigshot. How about you wake your rear end up and do something already! That was his plan all along, child. Cthulhu simply means "bureaucrat" in elder tongue.
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Dec 12, 2020 12:22
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Mooey Cow posted:You know that tube that's on the side of the 'pus? That's the one. That's the butthole. Is that the same tube that launches the ink? I was hoping the ink would come out the front and i could write stuff by blowing my nose. Scary stuff.
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Dec 12, 2020 12:41
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Cthulhu is not even a real dog 
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Dec 12, 2020 14:26
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"Ok. So. This guy is gonna like...flip your poo poo and blast your TITS off!" -- H.P. Lovecraft, to his publisher, racistly after missing his deadline to come up with a new storyline
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Dec 12, 2020 14:47
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Weka posted:Unless it's a cum god, right? That's just Enki.
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Dec 12, 2020 15:06
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Big Beef City posted:"Ok. So. This guy is gonna like...flip your poo poo and blast your TITS off!" -- H.P. Lovecraft, to his publisher, racistly after missing his deadline to come up with a new storyline Publisher: "Describe this monster" HP: "No. But its SUPER scary. Indescribably so!!! You won't believe how terrifying it will be. Trust me"
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Dec 12, 2020 15:49
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Harry Potter Lovecraft
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Dec 12, 2020 15:54
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Icochet posted:Publisher: "Describe this monster" HP: "So, the creature that terrorizes the reader turns out to actually be a-" Publisher: "Don't say 'a black person'." HP: "Oh, uhhhh, then it's-" Publisher: "Don't say Jew, either." HP: "...a fish man?"
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Dec 12, 2020 15:59
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Who What Now posted:HP: "So, the creature that terrorizes the reader turns out to actually be a-" Publisher: *sigh* Ok and what's the leadup to the fishman's arrival in the story, and don't tell me it's 'agitated ethnic cultists' again. HP: *sounds of crumpling paper*
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Dec 12, 2020 16:04
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Sentient cabbages and giant albino penguins.
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Dec 12, 2020 16:08
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Big Beef City posted:Publisher: *sigh* Ok and what's the leadup to the fishman's arrival in the story, and don't tell me it's 'agitated ethnic cultists' again. Zealia Bishop: "Alright, so, the big revelation is, she was secretly a snake monster, right?" HP: "Well, of course, but everyone will guess that on the first page. Medusa's Coils? Pretty woman obsessed with her hair? She's a medusa. Duh. We need more, here." Zealia Bishop: "Then what's the-" HP: "She was secretly black. That's the horror." Zealia Bishop: *Screams and faints*
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Dec 12, 2020 16:19
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You gotta hand it to HP Lovecraft, he didn't argue that race mixing leads to the decline of "white culture". He thought it leads to loving space monsters invading the earth. e: you absolutely don't "gotta hand it to him"
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Dec 12, 2020 16:53
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OP, for your hubris ridden anti-Lovecraftian post, you have earnt a place amongst the last to be eaten after the great god Cthulhu arises from his aeons long slumber and commences the destruction of puny man and all that he has forged. So you will suffer the most. Suck on that.
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Dec 12, 2020 17:05
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This would be a severe blow to the one-in-three kickstarters that are Chthulu themed.
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Dec 12, 2020 18:54
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I'd play a video game where you go to a place and build up anxiety and run away before the boss and then write a memoir
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Dec 12, 2020 19:06
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Things that raise your terror level: Rain. Nighttime. Books. Being anywhere near the ocean. Boats. Minorities. First to enter a catatonic state wins
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Dec 12, 2020 19:13
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Icochet posted:Is that the same tube that launches the ink? I was hoping the ink would come out the front and i could write stuff by blowing my nose. Scary stuff. Yes but technically that butthole is also their nose.
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Dec 12, 2020 19:20
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That Stephen king family guy bit but it's H.P. holding up a bottle of aunt jemima and box of uncle ben's
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Dec 12, 2020 20:14
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