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As we all know, the purpose of having a time machine is to commit the crime of murder for some reason. Some people wanna murder Hitler, other people baby Hitler before he became Hitler, and other people wanna murder they own grampa so they won't get born (even though I'm pretty sure it's usually the moms that do the birthing?). Some people wanna do so much murder they send killer robots back in time to kill the same guy multiple times. Personally if I had a time machine I'd murder this guy Julius Caesar who hosed up the Roman republic way back when, but I'm probably alone in this. Who would you murder? (you can't say the OP because that's a paradox) Also do you really think you'd be able to murder your grampa, that dude is probably a badass and would murder you first tbh.
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# ? Dec 17, 2020 22:41 |
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# ? Mar 28, 2024 19:11 |
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OP you about to be murdered by every goon in every timeline ITT, a self own that surpasses the laws of time itself and collapses our universe into infinite paradoxes. It don't matter that you said not to do it, goons lust for temporal death.
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# ? Dec 17, 2020 22:45 |
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Putty posted:OP you about to be murdered by every goon in every timeline ITT, a self own that surpasses the laws of time itself and collapses our universe into infinite paradoxes. It don't matter that you said not to do it, goons lust for temporal death. Bullshit! https://youtu.be/c4psKYpfnYs
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# ? Dec 17, 2020 22:48 |
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Maggie Thatcher
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# ? Dec 17, 2020 22:48 |
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Id murder that pussi my man
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# ? Dec 17, 2020 22:50 |
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Lil Swamp Booger Baby posted:Id murder that pussi my man Don';t know if id go that far but id certainly beat it up
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# ? Dec 17, 2020 22:52 |
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I would probably murder some theoretical future hitler/thatcher because I'm not very smart and I probably would paradox everything and then i'd have to apologize or something otherwise.
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# ? Dec 17, 2020 22:52 |
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I don't know about murder, but I'd love to go back in time and kick Picasso's rear end. What an absolute self-important tool. Mmmmaybe murder.
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# ? Dec 17, 2020 23:10 |
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Archduke Franz Ferdinand Carl Ludwig Joseph Maria of Austria never liked the guy
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# ? Dec 17, 2020 23:51 |
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Go back to the first ape man who decided to get off a tree and pick up a tool and shoot him imo. Then go back to the first fish crawling on the ground and give it a few kicks for good measure idk
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# ? Dec 17, 2020 23:54 |
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Do you think it would alter history if I went back and told Hitler to have a sit down in the corner and think about how he's making other people feel. Possibly show him some mean tweets people having made about him.
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# ? Dec 17, 2020 23:58 |
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Uh dude was an artist, there's no hope for him.
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# ? Dec 18, 2020 00:00 |
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gludel posted:Do you think it would alter history if I went back and told Hitler to have a sit down in the corner and think about how he's making other people feel. Possibly show him some mean tweets people having made about him. I think if you introduced him to the right anime he would learn the value of friendshpi
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# ? Dec 18, 2020 00:02 |
Hmmm... Rupert Murdoch Lee Atwater the guys who thought financially punishing Germany for WWI (thus enabling the rise of Hitler) was a good idea
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# ? Dec 18, 2020 00:04 |
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christmas boots posted:I think if you introduced him to the right anime he would learn the value of friendshpi *Hitler's bad Disney drawings gain saucer sized eyes and veiny tentacles*
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# ? Dec 18, 2020 00:06 |
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gary oldmans diary posted:if the time machine only had 1 charge i would kill george lucas instead of hitler
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# ? Dec 18, 2020 00:07 |
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I don't know that I'd murder anyone but I would strongly encourage John Hinkley Jr. to practice shooting until he became an expert marksman.
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# ? Dec 18, 2020 00:11 |
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franz ferdinand
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# ? Dec 18, 2020 00:11 |
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scratch unpleasant posted:franz ferdinand Oh come on, Take Me Out wasn't that bad.
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# ? Dec 18, 2020 00:14 |
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scratch unpleasant posted:franz ferdinand Yeah I hate that band too.
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# ? Dec 18, 2020 00:16 |
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I am a gentle soul, OP. I don't want to kill anyone.
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# ? Dec 18, 2020 01:15 |
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helen keller
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# ? Dec 18, 2020 01:17 |
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Christopher Columbus
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# ? Dec 18, 2020 01:19 |
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The guy who invented Coca Cola. I don't have any kind of problem with the product, I'd just want to see what would take it's place.
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# ? Dec 18, 2020 01:21 |
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Extra Large Marge posted:The guy who invented Coca Cola. I don't have any kind of problem with the product, I'd just want to see what would take it's place. my guess is nuclear winter
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# ? Dec 18, 2020 01:23 |
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Beethoven.
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# ? Dec 18, 2020 01:25 |
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Myself.
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# ? Dec 18, 2020 01:49 |
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Ingeniously, I never use the time machine and let my target die of old age. They'll never see it coming
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# ? Dec 18, 2020 01:52 |
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murder? nah, not my style. i would deffo do
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# ? Dec 18, 2020 01:53 |
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I think if one gets a time machine it is ones solemn duty to try to do the biggest most insane time paradox ever. Don't stop at going back to gently caress your great grandfather or whatever, break poo poo up enough so you exist in a frame without beginning and end
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# ? Dec 18, 2020 01:58 |
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Your momdee eight posted:murder? nah, not my style. i would deffo do They didn't have showers back then
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# ? Dec 18, 2020 01:59 |
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I'm too selfish to try to save the world or anything like that so I would use my time murder power purely for whatever most improves my own life. So after careful consideration I've decided to go with the director's cut ending of The Butterfly Effect.
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# ? Dec 18, 2020 02:05 |
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there's this scientist working in a government research lab and he invents and builds a time machine the lab director is observing the first test run of the machine. the scientist gets in, sets the dials and pushes the button. the machine disappears in a bright blue flash of light and then reappears 14.5 seconds later the machine opens and out falls the scientist, a man in a kilt, and two scantily clad women. all four of them are rip-roaring drunk. the lab director raises an eyebrow and asks, "what is all this then?" the scientist staggers to his feet and slurs, "allow me to innerdoots to you, the great pottish scoet, mister robbobby burnss" the lab director further inquires, "and these...ladies?" robby burns belches loudly and proclaims, "hoot mon, hae ye nae heerd o' the pair o' doxies of time travel?"
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# ? Dec 18, 2020 02:28 |
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dee eight posted:murder? nah, not my style. i would deffo do gently caress yeah, lay it down on some kodiaks.
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# ? Dec 18, 2020 02:28 |
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ClamdestineBoyster posted:gently caress yeah, lay it down on some kodiaks. i like a bush that starts at the sternum and ends at the ankles
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# ? Dec 18, 2020 02:32 |
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Colonel Cancer posted:I think if one gets a time machine it is ones solemn duty to try to do the biggest most insane time paradox ever. Don't stop at going back to gently caress your great grandfather or whatever, break poo poo up enough so you exist in a frame without beginning and end Oh no, gently caress time loops. Time loops are loving bullshit!
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# ? Dec 18, 2020 02:32 |
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A whole bunch of Spanish and Portuguese explorers.
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# ? Dec 18, 2020 02:39 |
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CPL593H posted:I don't know that I'd murder anyone but I would strongly encourage John Hinkley Jr. to practice shooting until he became an expert marksman. Too traceable. Encourage George H.W. Bush to make sure John Hinckley, Jr. gets his practice
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# ? Dec 18, 2020 02:42 |
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I’d murder the person who invented the time machine.
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# ? Dec 18, 2020 02:46 |
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# ? Mar 28, 2024 19:11 |
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I would murder the man who invented murder. So Cain, I think. We'll see what happens to the universe after that!
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# ? Dec 18, 2020 02:48 |