|
mr. tumnus: ...are you a daughter of eve? are you...a girl?!? lucy: what are you a fuckin cop?
|
#
?
Dec 23, 2020 04:55
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 25, 2024 14:12 |
|
|
*SANTA has arrived to present teh children with gifts to aid them on their journey to defeat the white witch* PETER: WHOA gently caress YEA A loving SWORD!! THANKS MAN1!!!!!!! *makes lightsaber noises with mouth while flailing wildly* EDMUND: lol i got weed dude
|
|
#
?
Dec 23, 2020 04:59
|
|
|
*Mr. and Mrs. Beaver welcome the children into their humble home despite knowing the risk* PETER, whispering to EDMUND: i heard beaver tail tastes like bacon
|
|
#
?
Dec 23, 2020 05:02
|
|
|
*the Pevensie children are being led through the chilling (both literally and figuratively) statue garden of the White Witch. All around them stand the gelid forms of fantastical creatures, forever frozen in hundreds of fearful moments* SUSAN, to LUCY: lmao that giant was taking a dump when he was frozen
|
|
#
?
Dec 23, 2020 05:11
|
|
|
*The White Witch presents Edmund with a beautiful container, seemingly conjured out of thin air* WITCH: Here is the Turkish Delight you wished for, Son of Adam. Now...tell me about you- EDMUND, INTERJECTING: uhhhh excuse me, this isn't hash
|
|
#
?
Dec 23, 2020 05:19
|
|
|
REEPACHEEP: if you call me 'reefer chief' one more time i swear to aslan this rapier is going in your dickhole SUSAN: lol
|
|
#
?
Dec 23, 2020 05:32
|
|
|
free hubcaps posted:*The White Witch presents Edmund with a beautiful container, seemingly conjured out of thin air* No, it's a really good snack to have after you get high.
|
|
#
?
Dec 23, 2020 05:44
|
|
|
lol remember when that kid swung Reepicheep by his tail and then later Reepicheep went to heaven in a boat.
|
|
#
?
Dec 23, 2020 05:58
|
|
|
Aslan sweating bullets while he tries to explain that it was good and necessary to kick that girl out of Narnia for wearing harlot lipstick despite what he's been doing to the younger boys. Also, those alleged events didn't happen and weren't as widespread as people would have you believe.
|
|
#
?
Dec 23, 2020 06:44
|
|
|
Aslan: Hey, you're all dead and can party here in Narnia² forever. Not Susan, though, she's too busy putting on dresses or whatever. Eustace: lol sucks for her
|
|
#
?
Dec 23, 2020 06:56
|
|
|
Some Brat: "So, what's the deal with you and Tash? What's the, uh, conflict?" Aslan stares off into space, thinking back to God College: Past Aslan: "Hey, are you my new roomate? Hi, I'm-" Past Tash: "Wait, are you just a regular lion? Not, like, a person with a lion's head? Seriously? What is up with that?" Past Aslan: "I-I don't see what that has to do with anything. You're a bird and you don't hear me-" Past Tash: "I'm a bird with hands. Opposable thumbs, too. Four of them! You don't even have two. Look at my hands, buddy. Hey, watch this!" Past Tash pats his head and rubs his belly and opens a can of beer at the same time. ... Aslan: "... Pure evil. Tash is pure evil. Truly, all good things are of me and for me, and all bad things are of him."
|
|
#
?
Dec 23, 2020 07:19
|
|
|
free hubcaps posted:*The White Witch presents Edmund with a beautiful container, seemingly conjured out of thin air*
|
|
#
?
Dec 23, 2020 07:22
|
|
|
A Horse and His Boy: The Unauthorized Mike Pence biography
|
|
#
?
Dec 23, 2020 07:44
|
|
|
Aslan: "Glad to see you learned your lesson about, uh, whatever it was, Eustace! Now you can go back to being a scrawny, pasty-rear end loser!" *Eustace rips Aslan's head off and makes a dragon-sized bong out of his skull* Eustace, The Great Wyrm: "I politely decline!"
|
|
#
?
Dec 23, 2020 07:51
|
|
|
My name is lion guy AND I gently caress!!!! -- the lion guy
|
|
#
?
Dec 23, 2020 07:55
|
|
|
The chronicles of Narnia, where the main character hotboxes a closet and believes he entered a new world but he's just high af. Featuring snoop lion and nick cage as the scarecrow OK I don't actually know anything about Narnia.
|
|
#
?
Dec 23, 2020 07:57
|
|
|
Son of Rodney posted:The chronicles of Narnia, where the main character hotboxes a closet and believes he entered a new world but he's just high af. Featuring snoop lion and nick cage as the scarecrow OK I don't actually know anything about Narnia. No, you pretty much got the gist of it. Nick Cage can be Mr. Tumnus.
|
|
#
?
Dec 23, 2020 08:02
|
|
|
Son of Rodney posted:The chronicles of Narnia, where the main character hotboxes a closet and believes he entered a new world but he's just high af. Featuring snoop lion and nick cage as the scarecrow OK I don't actually know anything about Narnia. I would watch the heck out of this. Somebody get Snoop high enough that he wants to get back into the reggae game and we can get this off the ground.
|
|
#
?
Dec 23, 2020 08:11
|
|
|
Weka posted:I would watch the heck out of this. Somebody get Snoop high enough that he wants to get back into the reggae game and we can get this off the ground. The White Witch is a metaphor for cocaine. Really, it's an anti-drug movie, warning you to avoid the harder, more dangerous stuff.
|
|
#
?
Dec 23, 2020 08:14
|
|
|
White Witch got her entire planet canceled in a heated gamer moment.
|
|
#
?
Dec 23, 2020 10:16
|
|
|
The Witch: Oh go back where you came from you loving little British shits! Narnia: *gasp* The Witch: I just...I mean...I just meant to say they would be more comfortable at home with their families on the other side of the wardrobe. With their own kind
|
|
#
?
Dec 23, 2020 10:58
|
|
|
Digory: "Hey uncle Andrew, isn't this a lot like Rick and Morty?" Andrew: "No, this book was written sixty years before that. Now shut up and help me turn myself into a pickle."
|
|
#
?
Dec 23, 2020 11:16
|
|
|
Mister? No. Mister is a term of respect for men, not abominations. Your name is goat-freak.
|
|
#
?
Dec 23, 2020 12:13
|
|
|
the intensely closeted christian writing about a satyr coming across unaccompanied innocence in the woods
|
|
#
?
Dec 23, 2020 12:19
|
|
|
Aslan looks up from devouring one of the children he hunted and slewed. 'What? What?! Oh it's my fault? Yeah let's just forget about the parents that just let these kids wander around with a lion. No let's blame the lion for doing what a lion does."
|
|
#
?
Dec 23, 2020 12:23
|
|
|
Edmund snickers every time he addresses Mrs. Beaver. Mrs. Beaver snickers every time she addresses Peter. Peter doesn't get it.
|
|
#
?
Dec 23, 2020 17:51
|
|
|
Loden Taylor posted:Aslan: Hey, you're all dead and can party here in Narnia² forever. Not Susan, though, she's too busy putting on dresses or whatever.
|
|
#
?
Dec 23, 2020 18:06
|
|
|
Somewhere in a universe far far away, the writer of Chronicles of Narnia looks up at the camera and says "Lmao adults shouldn't care about seeming childish! Buy as many anime pillows of asslan as you want, it's all good!"
|
|
#
?
Dec 23, 2020 18:09
|
|
|
The part that always bothered me is that they get to be rulers of a fantasy land and grow into full adults and then they have to go back to being children in 1940 Britain. I never got how that didn't seem to gently caress with them mentally at all
|
|
#
?
Dec 23, 2020 18:48
|
|
|
mr. tumnus: ...are you a son of adam? a friend of dorothy? peter: 
|
|
#
?
Dec 23, 2020 19:16
|
|
|
The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe Aslan: Though the Witch knew the Deep Magic, there is a magic deeper still which she did not know. If she could have looked a little further back, she would have known that when a willing victim who had committed no treachery was killed in a traitor's stead... Lucy: Oh, we're like, doing a thing, okay. The Voyage of the Dawn Treader Lucy: Yep. Lamb. Got it. Aslan: There is a way into my country from all the worlds. I will not tell you how long or short the way will be; only that it lies across a river. But do not fear that, for I am the great Bridge Builder. Lucy: OK, GOT IT. The Last Battle Aslan: In the name of Aslan and Aslan's great Father the Emperor-over-the-Sea Lucy: shut UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUP
|
|
#
?
Dec 23, 2020 20:18
|
|
|
Teriyaki Hairpiece posted:The part that always bothered me is that they get to be rulers of a fantasy land and grow into full adults and then they have to go back to being children in 1940 Britain. I never got how that didn't seem to gently caress with them mentally at all The book suggests that it basically split their lives in a way so it was kind of like a dream. Then when they got back it took them time to reacclimate. Except Susan who thought it was actually just them playing make-believe as kids. She is probably the sane one: https://xkcd.com/693/
|
|
#
?
Dec 23, 2020 20:21
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 25, 2024 14:12 |
|
|
BONGHITZ posted:lol remember when that kid swung Reepicheep by his tail and then later Reepicheep went to heaven in a boat. lmao i do CHANCELLOR: "...and so, we thusly christen this magnificent barque the Dawn Tre- CASPIAN (interrupting): gently caress Demon. CHANCELLOR: sire, the royal council had agreed to nam- CASPIAN: My Ship. gently caress Demon. CHANCELLOR:...yes sire.
|
|
#
?
Dec 23, 2020 20:56
|
|