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My idea is a small plush orc that parents who are sick of hiding the Elf on The Shelf can buy. You put the orc somewhere and tell the kids it killed the elf on the shelf, and will stop your house from being visited by any future elfs. This way you have a good reason to never have to hide an elf without ruining the holiday spirit. The orc only sits where you put him, he never hides. What do you think of my idea?
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Dec 24, 2020 01:53
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| # ? Apr 23, 2024 13:23 |
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You have to rhyme orc with something you dumbass
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Dec 24, 2020 01:53
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Full Metal Jackass posted:You have to rhyme orc with something you dumbass I couldn't think of anything to rhyme with it. I wanted to make sure people would know it was a product related to Elf on a Shelf.
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Dec 24, 2020 01:55
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what's the deal with elf on the shelf, why do you need to buy something and hide it. can't you just say you have it and then go "oh sorry kids you're poo poo at searching" also i believe the op should have their limbs beaten with short lengths of wood
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Dec 24, 2020 02:02
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ELF ON SHELF! 
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Dec 24, 2020 02:08
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Fsmhunk posted:I couldn't think of anything to rhyme with it. I wanted to make sure people would know it was a product related to Elf on a Shelf.
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Dec 24, 2020 02:12
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wtJQspGrp8A
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Dec 24, 2020 02:17
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YOU SHOULDVE SHELVED THIS POST RETARD (USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)
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Dec 24, 2020 02:19
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A trump in the dump
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Dec 24, 2020 02:25
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Inexplicable Humblebrag posted:what's the deal with elf on the shelf, why do you need to buy something and hide it. can't you just say you have it and then go "oh sorry kids you're poo poo at searching" Woah dude, what the hell? That's nuts, I would hate that to have that happen to me!
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Dec 24, 2020 02:29
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Goblin on the knoblin
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Dec 24, 2020 02:40
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Lich in the niche? 
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Dec 24, 2020 02:41
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Colonel Cancer posted:Lich in the niche? highly overrated product imo. you're supposed to hide the phylactery in the house, putting it "somewhere in the plane of the void" is cheating
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Dec 24, 2020 02:45
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Fur20 posted:highly overrated product imo. you're supposed to hide the phylactery in the house, putting it "somewhere in the plane of the void" is cheating What do you think happened to the elf 
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Dec 24, 2020 02:48
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Fae on the Bidet
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Dec 24, 2020 03:07
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The skeleton in the closet
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Dec 24, 2020 03:08
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Colonel Cancer posted:Goblin on the knoblin Gob on my knob, like corn on the cob.
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Dec 24, 2020 03:21
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troll in yer hole
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Dec 24, 2020 03:22
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Orc on a torc. You put this festive toy around a loved one's neck. During the night, it gives them a special "hug". There is a simple spring mechanism and as long as you aren't careless, it will harmlessly pop open after one minute. It will get recalled pretty quickly so buy it now and give your loved ones the gift of eternity.
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Dec 24, 2020 04:52
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Halloween Liker posted:troll in yer hole Orc on yer dork
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Dec 24, 2020 04:55
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Five or six hiding in your cutlery drawer. Orcs in the forks.
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Dec 24, 2020 05:01
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The orc on the shelf is actually the elf on the shelf corrupted by Melkor.
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Dec 24, 2020 05:04
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Haint in yer taint
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Dec 24, 2020 05:06
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20 Blunts posted:YOU SHOULDVE SHELVED THIS POST RETARD Lol. Also, OP, instead of exploiting the stupid buyers of Elves On The Shelf, why not start a cult to eradicate them (the dolls, not their owners).Rent a ranch in the desert (they're cheap), which you can use as a base to attract acolytes using your sex skills (OK, they'll probably be all males) and your glassy-eyed rants. Then, send your acolytes out nightly to sneak into other people's houses and destroy the Elves. They (your acolytes, not the Elves thank Ghod) could even break in through people's roofs and stealthily crawl on the ceiling joists from room to room, drilling small holes with an awl for Elf-target spotting. Let's call it doing the "holey creepy crawley". Good luck with your new, and better, mission. tldr: Helter Skelter elfers. BigBadSteve fucked around with this message at 05:14 on Dec 24, 2020 |
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Dec 24, 2020 05:07
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Mindflayer in your goonlair
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Dec 24, 2020 05:08
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Fsmhunk posted:What do you think of my idea? orcs are cool ignore all these chumps who think it should rhyme, the fact that it doesn't rhyme is hilarious finding a rhyme would just remove the unapologetic bluntness and make it kitschy and lame
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Dec 24, 2020 05:13
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Wait, the elf is supposed to be hidden? I thought its supposed to be in plain view as a reminder that the kid is bein watched
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Dec 24, 2020 06:09
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DeadFatDuckFat posted:Wait, the elf is supposed to be hidden? I thought its supposed to be in plain view as a reminder that the kid is bein watched Yeah it's getting your child used to the idea of the surveillance state You'd better watch out
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Dec 24, 2020 07:49
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Cletus on the Meatus
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Dec 24, 2020 07:55
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Phy posted:Yeah it's getting your child used to the idea of the surveillance state Santa has always been about the surveillance state.
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Dec 24, 2020 08:04
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Ork with a fork you chuckle gently caress obviously it ate the elf
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Dec 24, 2020 08:06
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ill start the wiki
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Dec 24, 2020 08:14
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Gork n Mork would be proud. Happy Gorkmass or Morkmass, whatever you celebrate. Dead Nerve fucked around with this message at 10:55 on Dec 24, 2020 |
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Dec 24, 2020 10:53
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That's only a single purchase, you need more of a product range. I'm thinking "The Elf in poor health", a whole series of elves that get increasingly ill due to the ravages of their unhealthy Christmas-based lifestyle. Starting with elves suffering from something like acne, moving on to gout, alcohol addiction, type 2 diabetic necrosis, major heart disease, and finally getting brutally murdered by an Orc with a fork who found the little bastard sneaking around in his house. The orc could be in a police uniform, but that might associate it with heroism rather than acab. Might have to offer orcs with and without to satisfy all markets.
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Dec 24, 2020 12:31
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Gimp in my Simp
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Dec 24, 2020 15:27
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Pagan days were better. Just a Celt in a Pelt
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Dec 24, 2020 15:29
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Adult Reddit simps would buy the poo poo out of it.
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Dec 24, 2020 16:51
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Otyogh in your stew
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Dec 24, 2020 17:11
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demon with some semen
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Dec 24, 2020 17:18
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| # ? Apr 23, 2024 13:23 |
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babe with a blade
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Dec 24, 2020 17:40
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