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The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Product Idea - The Orc On The Shelf
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Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon
Minotaur on the bathroom door

* # ? Dec 24, 2020 17:50
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Adbot
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# ? Apr 20, 2024 00:40
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Call Your Grandma
Jan 17, 2010

 Ent on the Fent(anyl cache)

* # ? Dec 24, 2020 18:07
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Mozi
Apr 4, 2004

Forms change so fast
Time is moving past
Memory is smoke
Gonna get wider when I die
Nap Ghost
ork on a dork (that orc gettin hosed by a whale)

* # ? Dec 24, 2020 18:27
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vaginite
Feb 8, 2006

I'm comin' for you, colonel.



 squatter in your daughter
chad in my dad

* # ? Dec 24, 2020 18:43
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vaginite
Feb 8, 2006

I'm comin' for you, colonel.



 goon in a meteorological balloon

* # ? Dec 24, 2020 18:48
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Brain Curry
Feb 15, 2007

People think that I'm lazy
People think that I'm this fool because
I give a fuck about the government
I didn't graduate from high school



 Melkor in your backdoor

* # ? Dec 24, 2020 19:26
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Fur20
Nov 14, 2007

すご▞い！
君は働か░い
フ▙▓ズなんだね！
 cum in ops mum

* # ? Dec 24, 2020 19:46
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Weka
May 5, 2019

That child totally had it coming. Nobody should be able to be out at dusk except cars.
Some of these are good, but it's hard to beat the classic charm of Skeleton in a Barrel.

* # ? Dec 25, 2020 02:54
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Fsmhunk
Jul 19, 2012

by Fluffdaddy

BigBadSteve posted:

Lol.

Also, OP, instead of exploiting the stupid buyers of Elves On The Shelf, why not start a cult to eradicate them (the dolls, not their owners).Rent a ranch in the desert (they're cheap), which you can use as a base to attract acolytes using your sex skills (OK, they'll probably be all males) and your glassy-eyed rants.

Then, send your acolytes out nightly to sneak into other people's houses and destroy the Elves. They (your acolytes, not the Elves thank Ghod) could even break in through people's roofs and stealthily crawl on the ceiling joists from room to room, drilling small holes with an awl for Elf-target spotting. Let's call it doing the "holey creepy crawley".

Good luck with your new, and better, mission.


tldr: Helter Skelter elfers.

I don't have a problem with the elfs. The fact the orc kills them is just a means to an end. My target demo here is lazy parents who don't mind upsetting their children.

* # ? Dec 25, 2020 05:40
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GAYIDS
May 3, 2020

by Pragmatica
Orc on a dork (it is the op, they are the dork)

* # ? Dec 25, 2020 06:06
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goatface
Dec 5, 2007

I had a video of that when I was about 6.

I remember it being shit.


Grimey Drawer
The orcs the elf stalks.

A family of orcs with a restraining order against the elf on a shelf. Putting them in a room prevents any elf from being a snooping git.

* # ? Dec 25, 2020 17:08
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Call Your Grandma
Jan 17, 2010

 bugbear on the rocking chair

antbear on the kitchen chair

warbear on the ladderback chair

owlbear on the arm chair

dire bear on the folding chair

cave bear on the bugchair

snowy owlbear on the patio chair

werebear on the desk chair

moonbear on the salon chair

* # ? Dec 25, 2020 17:23
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Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon
Aquatic elf on the poo shelf

* # ? Dec 25, 2020 17:43
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Into The Mild
Mar 4, 2003





 Mork on the Ork.

Mindy on the bindi

* # ? Dec 25, 2020 20:07
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Weka
May 5, 2019

That child totally had it coming. Nobody should be able to be out at dusk except cars.
Kobold in a butthole.

* # ? Dec 25, 2020 22:38
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Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon
Ooze on the loose :coolslime:

* # ? Dec 25, 2020 22:46
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blight rhino
Feb 11, 2014

EXQUISITE LURKER RHINO


Nap Ghost
gnome in the home

...halfing in the scaffolding

- construction sites only

* # ? Dec 25, 2020 22:48
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Do it ironically
Jul 13, 2010

by Pragmatica

Colonel Cancer posted:

Ooze on the loose :coolslime:

Uce on the loose, that’s Roman reigns music!!!!

* # ? Dec 25, 2020 23:04
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Son of Rodney
Feb 22, 2006

ohmygodohmygodohmygod

 wichtel on the fichtel

* # ? Dec 25, 2020 23:27
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Klyith
Aug 3, 2007

GBS Pledge Week
Slaad on the Facade


Coal? Oh, you'll wish for coal when you see what the Christmas Slaad is going to give you.

* # ? Dec 25, 2020 23:38
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Into The Mild
Mar 4, 2003





 Dookie on the Cookie

* # ? Dec 25, 2020 23:40
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ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 20, 2024 00:40
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Weka
May 5, 2019

That child totally had it coming. Nobody should be able to be out at dusk except cars.
Gnoll in your peehole.

Gelatinous cube in your tube. Pick from a wide range of orifices!

E: minotaur in your backdoor.

* # ? Dec 26, 2020 01:00
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The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Product Idea - The Orc On The Shelf
«‹›2 »