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I know you don't plan to publish, but I would totally buy this if you ever did! My one burning question is, what was Lucia making? My best guess is a vegetable casserole 
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Feb 2, 2021 23:14
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A Small Car posted:I know you don't plan to publish, but I would totally buy this if you ever did! My one burning question is, what was Lucia making? My best guess is a vegetable casserole I just realized I left my readers hanging there! You’re basically right—it’s vegetable gratin. Super good. And I’m so happy you’re enjoying this! I’ll probably stick it somewhere when it’s all done and organized, maybe AO3, maybe Royal Road. I hate Wattpad for various reasons, so not there. Then I’ll get started working on the sequel.
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Feb 3, 2021 04:08
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A short bit tonight because I’m sick of looking at it. I really need to redo the chapter breaks after I get this edited. Chapter 17: https://docs.google.com/document/d/11N30qP7wV97ezGqYMPQHKU3vJuyp7CKnbI9YWoLfmp8/edit
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Feb 6, 2021 00:43
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Chapter 18: https://docs.google.com/document/d/11qvbcYhySvHg3HJ90GZnuoCZeFl4TKNXdqe3lkhMhqU/edit OMG! Done! Thanks for reading, and for all of the helpful comments. I’ve got at least two more rounds of edits for this. After that, I might just call it officially done. I hope it wasn’t too terrible. Yes, this epilogue thing is more of a placeholder than anything else. I struggle with endings. But, at the same time, I hate reading epilogues that drag on and on. Considering sending my characters farther into the future so I can end with a hook for the sequel, but I kind of like leaving them on the edge of something new. I’ve got a couple big fixes to make (maybe tonight—got two exams to write so I can destroy my students, kidding!) and then I’ll put the whole thing up in one big Google doc.
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Feb 6, 2021 21:22
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I loved it and look forward to reading the next one! It'll be interesting to go back and read the whole thing in one sitting, I've intentionally avoided re-reading previous chapters while the writing was ongoing. Well done!
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Feb 7, 2021 20:51
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Thank you so much! I’m glad you liked it. I’ll link the whole thing soon. It’ll be interesting for me to read it in one sitting, which I don’t feel like I’ve done yet. I’ve made a bunch of tweaks and fixed a big plot hole that no one noticed. I need to add that scene you suggested where Lucia screws everything up because she just wants to leave the NorthSide and get back. That was a great suggestion that fixed a dumb author problem by turning it into a dumb character problem. Then I’ll just sit and read it. Maybe I’ll still like it.
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Feb 8, 2021 14:21
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newts posted:Then I’ll just sit and read it. Maybe I’ll still like it. First of all, congratulations! You're probably your own harshest critic. Here's a list of things that I liked to help counter that voice in your head:
A Small Car posted:I loved it and look forward to reading the next one! It'll be interesting to go back and read the whole thing in one sitting, I've intentionally avoided re-reading previous chapters while the writing was ongoing. Well done!  newts posted:fixed a dumb author problem by turning it into a dumb character problem. This is my main learning from your thread!
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Feb 8, 2021 21:12
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Thank you! Your comments were very helpful. I’m going to take a closer look at how I can make those first chapters more dynamic. I’m glad my foreshadowing worked. I think there are only, like, six characters so how could it not? I actually had Dr. Chen as the original big bad, but I ended up liking her too much. And I didn’t feel like introducing a new ME in the sequel (lazy author syndrome).Leng posted:This is my main learning from your thread! That was all A Small Car, but, yeah. I’m going to use that a lot because I’m never going to get past the dumb author issue.
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Feb 10, 2021 00:04
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Here’s the whole thing, after another round of beta comments and a few tweaks. No major changes, but I think it’s a little better. The Night City: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1umcGNrtBcVEEpwWp8RbyETGbsQPu4JEfkIIvheXiK_U/edit You guys were awesome, thanks! Don’t think I could’ve got this done without your help (and thanks, silent readers, too). I’m pretty proud of myself. That’s one life goal down. Now, I just need to learn a language...
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Feb 12, 2021 01:14
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Nice job! I look forward to reading the whole thing in full. Will leave you any line level suggestions/comments in doc (which, as always, feel free to take or leave). Congrats again! If you want to turn this into an actual ebook, there's a download to epub option from Google Docs directly but I don't know how well that plays with eReaders, since my experience with the Google Docs epub formatting wasn't great. I did a write up here on making an epub with Calibre and its plugins if you're interested/want to tinker with the epub that Google Docs spits out - since you have it all in one doc you could just use Calibre's built in ebook editor without needing to install plugins.
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Feb 14, 2021 11:35
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Leng posted:Nice job! I look forward to reading the whole thing in full. Will leave you any line level suggestions/comments in doc (which, as always, feel free to take or leave). Congrats again! Thank you! I appreciate you taking the time to do that. I was planning to let this sit for a week and do more tinkering, so these will come in handy. quote:If you want to turn this into an actual ebook, there's a download to epub option from Google Docs directly but I don't know how well that plays with eReaders, since my experience with the Google Docs epub formatting wasn't great. I did a write up here on making an epub with Calibre and its plugins if you're interested/want to tinker with the epub that Google Docs spits out - since you have it all in one doc you could just use Calibre's built in ebook editor without needing to install plugins. Also, thanks for this. I was thinking about going through the whole self-publishing thing and just throwing this up on Amazon for the experience alone. “It will be fun,” she said. But, yeah, I have no idea where to start or anything. Also, you’ve helped me out a lot and I always offer my beta readers something in return. I’m decent at crits. Or, I’m also a published artist. I can’t do cover design because I suck at all things graphic design. But I can do artwork for whatever, or as part of a cover. I’ve even done paid work for a pretty big author who shall not be named. I’ve got some work up here: https://bluefootedb.tumblr.com/
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Feb 14, 2021 17:57
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newts posted:Thank you! I appreciate you taking the time to do that. I was planning to let this sit for a week and do more tinkering, so these will come in handy. This week is a bit crazy for me, so I've only done comments up to Chapter 4. Some are on an anonymous account because I was working from a different laptop. newts posted:I’ve got some work up here: https://bluefootedb.tumblr.com/  this is top notch amazing stuff. I'm working on a very different type of creative project and would love to get your thoughts on that. I can see you don't have PMs but you can reach me on the gmail account I'm using to comment on your Google doc.
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Feb 18, 2021 01:07
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Leng posted:This week is a bit crazy for me, so I've only done comments up to Chapter 4. Some are on an anonymous account because I was working from a different laptop. You’re doing an incredibly awesome job! Thank you so much for taking the time. quote:
Ha, thanks! Sure, I can take a look and try to give an opinion. Although, I’m pretty much useless unless I’m critiquing fiction or biology. This week and the next are going to be hell because of work, but I’ll reach out to you after that.
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Feb 19, 2021 00:59
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