this is what $8000 worth of internet spaceships disintegrating looks like

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > this is what $8000 worth of internet spaceships disintegrating looks like

FAT32 SHAMER: Aug 16, 2012

poverty goat posted:

My last heavy bout of Eve playing was during that one Hulkageddon before the exhumer buffs when Goonswarm was reimbursing anyone in Eve who killed an exhumer the cost of one jihad destroyer. The way Jihad works in Eve is, if you attack someone in high security space, unkillable, inescapable NPC police will spawn on you in a few seconds and kill you. It's against the rules of the game to escape being killed by the police, so that's it. If you can kill someone before the police kill you, it's fair game. Goonfleet, for its part, had minmaxed the cheapest destroyer fit that could kill an exhumer in time, and begun scraping the public Eve killboard, automatically reimbursing everyone in the game who killed an exhumer the cost of a new destroyer. (An exhumer is the t2 mining ship, and pubbies in high sec often fit them with really expensive glass cannon type fittings, with expensive implants in their pods, expecting never to be threatened). I was unemployed and going through a deeply unhealthy stage of my life where I was doing fat lines of ethylphenidate (a sibling of ritalin) all day and this allowed me to terrorize the ice miners in the cluster of gallente highsec around Angymonne for most of the day for weeks, killing a miner just about every 15 minutes all day long. For free. And between the reimbursements and my covops scooping the loot after each kill I was able to make a small profit on the venture. By the end I'd run out of easy targets and begun scanning all the regulars' fits to theorycraft very specific fits to pop them. But there was this one mining op running 24/7 that managed to thwart me. They had 2 mindlinked orcas providing defensive bonuses instead of mining bonuses, and completely defensive yet very inexpensive fits on the mackinaws. They were absolutely losing money mining everyday if they wanted to PLEX all of the accounts, the ships weren't high value targets at all, and they still had like 25m EHP or something ridiculous at the time so it was utterly not worth my time and money to jihad them with a battleship just to prove the point.

So, as I was wrapping up my reign of terror, I made contact with them. I congratulated them on their perseverance- they were very aware of who I was and were proud of themselves for thwarting me. I proceeded to explain to them that smart, resilient miners like them were exactly what we needed in goonfleet to provide minerals for our industry in 0.0. Long story short: I brought in legendary goon scammer Blawrf as a recruiter. He convinced them to contract everything they owned in the entire game over to me. He convinced them to give him full API keys on all their accounts- for the security check, of course- and used them to help find every last asset in any station in Eve to contract over to me, so that I could help them move it all to 0.0. Then he got them to give me all of their isk- at this point we had all their other assets so it was a matter of engaging the sunk cost fallacy- just one last demonstration of trust. Then we cut them off. It was like 60 billion isk all said and done- years of work building up an industrial empire, just to give it all to me.

I burned out on eve for the last time just trying to account for all of it and get it courier'd to jita and sold. haven't been able to undock since. Though I did plex for a few years and train up a bunch of cap skills. I can fly a perfect sentry thanatos in 2017!

i will gladly assist you in your efforts to free your possessions from the grasp of highsec bureaucrats

# ¿ Jan 22, 2021 19:38

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# ¿ Apr 20, 2024 03:11

FAT32 SHAMER: Aug 16, 2012

Don�t tell him we have 3 jammers in 1dq :ssh:

# ¿ Feb 3, 2021 17:10

FAT32 SHAMER: Aug 16, 2012

feelix posted:

Is their strategy really to get goons to log off? How loving dumb do they have to be to not understand that goons will never log off

a larger percentage of the rest of the game has logged off to go enjoy spring/being vaccinated than goons, and they still massively= outnumber us

# ¿ May 11, 2021 21:36

FAT32 SHAMER: Aug 16, 2012

Cippalippus posted:

The things I remember most fondly from my time in goonfleet are firstname lastname's posts and dwaggysnaxx's videos. Come to think about it, it was 15 years ago.

fnln is playing again with us in Delta

# ¿ May 14, 2021 15:28

FAT32 SHAMER: Aug 16, 2012

Efb

# ¿ May 14, 2021 15:29

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > this is what $8000 worth of internet spaceships disintegrating looks like