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Simply Simon
Nov 6, 2010

timeless Ned Flanders style


in, hell me baby

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Casual Encountess
Dec 14, 2005

namaste and god bless all you cool cats and kittens


Simply Simon posted:

in, hell me baby

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NvS351QKFV4

hell rule: whoa how did you time traveling power rangers end up here!?

Casual Encountess fucked around with this message at 22:16 on Feb 16, 2021

sparksbloom
Apr 30, 2006


in

Casual Encountess
Dec 14, 2005

namaste and god bless all you cool cats and kittens



lol you made the dumbass mistake of saying you lived here so heres unironically one of my favorite songs by a local band


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lxGH2h2paY0

hellrule: show me that you lived here ten years. consider the mic dropped. now its time for you to PICK IT UP PICK IT UP PICK IT UP

Sperglord Firecock
Feb 20, 2011

Euphoria is experienced most firmly at the state of a curve at 80+mph and you don't know if you're gonna end up wearing these stupid fucking pants or not



Oven Wrangler

In

Casual Encountess
Dec 14, 2005

namaste and god bless all you cool cats and kittens



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CAMWdvo71ls

Idle Amalgam
Mar 7, 2008


In

curlingiron
Dec 15, 2006

Adventure Awaits!



I will probably regret this, but in and

Casual Encountess
Dec 14, 2005

namaste and god bless all you cool cats and kittens



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AIpRdbi9pYw

Casual Encountess
Dec 14, 2005

namaste and god bless all you cool cats and kittens


curlingiron posted:

I will probably regret this, but in and

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m8izXHKZSXw

toxxrule: your people are professional wrestlers with unique gimmicks. i wanna see some gossip girl for meatheads poo poo. write the world's greatest promo

Idle Amalgam
Mar 7, 2008



Can I

CaligulaKangaroo
Jul 25, 2012

MAY YOUR HALLOWEEN BE AS STUPID AS MY LIFE IS


IN

GIVE ME ALL OF THE THINGS

Casual Encountess
Dec 14, 2005

namaste and god bless all you cool cats and kittens



oooooooooooo baby, have i got some sweetness for you. one of your people fuckin crushed it at the gig last night. its the next morning and theyre unable to speak because they blew out their voice last night. or something. who knows. one of your people is for sure, mute though.

Casual Encountess
Dec 14, 2005

namaste and god bless all you cool cats and kittens


CaligulaKangaroo posted:

IN

GIVE ME ALL OF THE THINGS

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TWcSSDtSz0o

hellrule: oh no youve been cursed by a wild wes anderson. write the quirkiest bullshit you can think of.

toanoradian
May 30, 2011


In, and

Flesnolk
Apr 11, 2012

h

In, hellrule, and please post a cat

Freudian
Mar 23, 2011

God Can't Hate Forever



In, hellrule, cat

Casual Encountess
Dec 14, 2005

namaste and god bless all you cool cats and kittens


Flesnolk posted:

In, hellrule, and please post a cat

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wh9Nlm16_m0
oh poo poo your people are members of the islamic caliphate in 1500



blessed be your journey, friend.

Casual Encountess
Dec 14, 2005

namaste and god bless all you cool cats and kittens



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vjTQqTGa3dQ
babe, you're not gonna believe this. you're bananas about bananas. i want every single bit has to feel like a tropical punch in the kiwis. dragonfruit4dragonfruit if u know what I mean. channel your inner graham greene.

Casual Encountess
Dec 14, 2005

namaste and god bless all you cool cats and kittens


Freudian posted:

In, hellrule, cat

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4JkIs37a2JE
uh. looks like your character is a sentient ai.

BB2K
Oct 9, 2012


im in

Chairchucker
Nov 14, 2006

The man was stunningly well dressed. He had a smart looking jacket, and a really neat looking cape, the lining of which was shimmering and sparkling in more than Oriental splendour, which is a great deal of splendour indeed, just ask Kipling.

in, cat

Yoruichi
Sep 21, 2017


Horse Facts

True and Interesting Facts about Horse


I also want a cat (how did this become cat week?)

Lily Catts
Oct 17, 2012

Show me the way to you
(Heavy Metal)


Week 445 Crits

This was a disappointing week. The prompt was already as straightforward as it could be, but you bozos instead decided to write stories that a) sacrificed emotion for cool genre stuff (which ended up being inaccessible because there was nothing I could latch on to aside from wow cool genre stuff), or b) tried hard to be quirky-funny in order to dodge the messy but necessary task of writing about feelings.

I can't speak for the other judges, but I did place some weight in nailing the emotion each of you were given. I'm not expecting some melodramatic, cry-fest tale, I just wanted to feel something in my cold, dead heart. This was a fantastic week to lean into harnessing emotions for your writing but you all decided to second-guess yourselves. Who are we trying to fool here?

I know it can be scary to crash and burn and lose but I wished people had taken more risks this week! Also because I'm a weeb so I'm assigning each story an anime. Go look them up. Or not.

brotherly - See You in London
This was pretty cool. I would have evaluated it higher if it had entered in another week, but it's so devoid of feelings that I couldn't enjoy it in the spirit of the prompt. The ending is unsatisfying and I guess that's kind of the point given the emotion you were made to work with (oh god please let this time be different)? But it lacks oomph. Shame, because the agent developing strong feelings for their target would have made for some delicious drama.
Anime: Monster

Azza Bamboo - Not to Fail at Valentine's
Nailed the emotion in theory, but the story feels like it's going through the motions instead of actually exploring what it means and feels to be excited about something the other party isn't enthusiastic about. I mean, the AI is well-written enough, but you spent more words trying to be quirky instead of making an attempt at real pathos. So it ends up being just okay.
Anime: Idolmaster Xenoglossia

toanoradian - A Clown and A Fool
So the first time I read this, it confused me. So I reread it, then I read the story that one of the characters came from (big mistake, it left me even more bewildered). Basically this is a story of a quirky couple who've gotten their love languages down pat, but you don't really convey that clearly to your unsuspecting readers. I kept wondering why Evelyn is making all that effort not to have sex with Abraham. Is she a sex-repulsed ace? Or is it a joke, and she's applying reverse psychology? The jokes would have worked if you sold the characters more to me, but they fell a little flat. My personal loss pick, not because it's particularly bad or anything, but I just found it the weakest.
Anime: I Can't Understand What My Husband Is Saying

Casual Encountress - Lipstick Kisses
Funny and self-deprecating in that millennial manner. I liked that you didn't sacrifice self-reflectiveness over the bad decisions the main character was making. It adds a layer of depth to what feels like a believable character. I just think that you could've milked the tension between her and Jennifer more, as the latter just gives the MC a free pass the whole time. Just adding some more tension in whether she would get mad or not would have added a lot more spice to the story. My pick to win, but just because it annoyed me the least.
Anime: Scum's Wish

flerp - We Didn't Drown
Not much to say about this story really, other than the fact that it's just barely a story. It wears its heart on its sleeve, but it doesn't have much to say, and even as a vignette it's not particularly memorable. I also don't think that the emotion was nailed here. It almost feels like you wasted my time reading this, but the words aren't too bad so it ends up being the literary equivalent of eating a tasty bag of chips.
Anime: Toward the Terra

Thranguy - Emotional registers
There is some neat and dense worldbuilding here for a sub-1k word story. I can't quite picture some of the terms used like rider, roamer, or wraith, though. From what I understand, Dan is a digilect rider partnered up with Stan, but started piloting Stan's body as his condition deteriorated, and then he had to get a new body afterwards (the Ken). But I will forgive that given the very limited wordcount you had to work with. Anyway. I don't expect such a character to be particularly emotional, but the tension is too clinical and impossible for me to get into. The fact that Lilly could have betrayed him, but didn't, was such a meaty question that deserved more attention. I would have liked to read more about what they thought about each other, instead of the job they worked together.
Anime: Appleseed

Yoruichi - Hell-crossed Lovers
Maybe I'm slow but it took me a few paragraphs to figure out that Kana is a demon. The story takes us in the middle of an established relationship, and it's been handled fairly well for the most part. I can sort of appreciate the humor and light tone the story is going for, but I feel that it skimmed off some of the emotion in the process. Like the other stories you keep trying to disarm the reader with humor than pathos, and it almost works. Had you pulled off making me emotionally invested about this silly couple, you would've won.
Anime: Panty & Stocking With Garterbelt

Pththya-lyi - Song of the Warleader
This story establishes its tone in the opening paragraph, which is good. Nargol is likeable enough, if a bit horny on main, and I can sort of believe that Jaime is in a relationship with him. I just think that the story jumps to the resolution too quickly without much lead-up. This could've been a stronger tale had you milked their talk about taking things slow. The ending tries to be funny but... shrug.
Anime: My Love Story!!

sebmojo - One job
Kind of a fun if inconsequential caper. My suspension of disbelief stretches during the whole "my car is burning but I need to get the flowers" part, which is pretty much the entire story, so I'm wondering if Dave is supposed to be a himbo or something (maybe establish that more?). It's a story about a guy who loves his wife very much and while I respect that, I also feel that you really missed a prime opportunity by turning it into a comedy, because I really would have loved reading a sincere story about a guy who loves his wife very much. Instead we got a perfectly decent story that sits in the middle of the pack.
Anime: Haven't You Heard? I'm Sakamoto

Lily Catts fucked around with this message at 09:24 on Feb 17, 2021

Simbyotic
Aug 24, 2010

THUNDERDOME LOSER


In

Casual Encountess
Dec 14, 2005

namaste and god bless all you cool cats and kittens



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xweiQukBM_k

Casual Encountess
Dec 14, 2005

namaste and god bless all you cool cats and kittens


NEW DEADLINE RULE


due to number of signups, and the fact that I actually have a real life with poo poo to do, i'm modifying the submit date


You have until Sunday midnight to submit BUT the real submit date is Saturday at midnight. . after which, the legal wordcount will drop by 100 words every 4 hours (800 words if you post at 4am sun). so if you're hitting me at midnight sunday that better be a real fuckin amazing 300 word story.

Casual Encountess
Dec 14, 2005

namaste and god bless all you cool cats and kittens



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4NRXx6U8ABQ

Casual Encountess
Dec 14, 2005

namaste and god bless all you cool cats and kittens



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q6TLWqn82J4

Tyrannosaurus
Apr 12, 2006

KING OF BLOOD

Upon what meat doth this
our Caesar feed that he is grown so great?


Casual Encountess posted:

NEW DEADLINE RULE


due to number of signups, and the fact that I actually have a real life with poo poo to do, i'm modifying the submit date


You have until Sunday midnight to submit BUT the real submit date is Saturday at midnight. . after which, the legal wordcount will drop by 100 words every 4 hours (800 words if you post at 4am sun). so if you're hitting me at midnight sunday that better be a real fuckin amazing 300 word story.

This is good.

BB2K
Oct 9, 2012



do we have 2 base it on the track you give us? im new

Azza Bamboo
Apr 7, 2018

Don't cry
Don't raise your eye
It's only teenage wasteland


I'm judge.

nut
Jul 30, 2019


You're telling me the more I procrastinate, the less work I gotta do? I'm in.

sebmojo
Oct 23, 2010


Legit Cyberpunk


quote:

real fuckin amazing 300 word story.

on it

Hawklad
May 3, 2003


Who wants to live
forever?


DIVE!

College Slice

Seems like a fun week, I'm IN

flerp
Feb 25, 2014

I DON'T ALWAYS
HERDY DUR MUR FLERP FLERPITY
FLOOPIN
BUT WHEN I DO
I YER DER FLERPITY
THURN DER DERMIN
BORK! BORK! BORK!


in

steeltoedsneakers
Jul 26, 2016





Casual Encountess posted:

NEW DEADLINE RULE


due to number of signups, and the fact that I actually have a real life with poo poo to do, i'm modifying the submit date


You have until Sunday midnight to submit BUT the real submit date is Saturday at midnight. . after which, the legal wordcount will drop by 100 words every 4 hours (800 words if you post at 4am sun). so if you're hitting me at midnight sunday that better be a real fuckin amazing 300 word story.

Awww yeah, you're playing my jam now. I'm in. Hit me up with some flashrule spice, please and thankyou.

Simply Simon
Nov 6, 2010

timeless Ned Flanders style


Hospitality

Vojtěch never really stopped drinking. He remembered why when he morning light reflected off an empty bottle, stabbing daggers into his eyes. His headache got worse every second. He dragged his bulk off the sofa, hit his knees on the coffee table, cursed for five solid minutes while lighting a cigarette, continued while smoking another, finally calmed down enough to sit down again, and immediately started cursing again when the same daggers violated his pupils. He - had - forgotten - to - get - another - argh! A large insect skittered across his coffee table. Out of pure animal instinct, he grabbed the empty bottle and smashed it down on the critter.

But that still hadn’t fixed the light problem. Vojtěch shut his eyes with the force of a grocery store owner closing shop. He contemplated giving up and spending another day sitting around doing nothing. But the headache, of course, only got worse. The light kept digging through his lids with long dirty nails. With his own yellow-stained fingers, Vojtěch tried to swat the cruel rays away, and somehow, seemed to succeed.

When he opened his eyes to the welcome gloom of his apartment, he saw five tiny figures stumble around on his coffee table. A red, a blue, a yellow, green and pink one - like humans in rainbow fabric, but five centimeters tall at most. They seemed disoriented.

Vojtěch glanced at the empty bottle. He looked back at the figures on the table. The blue one steadied himself, looked at the giant opposite him, jerked back, then raised his arm with a closed fist.

There was a bowl next to the five that had once housed a salad, now the once-clear glass was coated in green dross. Vojtěch tipped it over with an irritated flick of his wrist, neatly trapping all of the intruders in a barely-translucent prison.

“Settle down in there.” He finally got up and, after another cigarette or three, found a full bottle. He sat down opposite his catch and poured himself a tall glass. Again, the blue one raised his fist - this time, a beam of light emerged from some device on his arm, but it bounced off the curved glass, and the green one had to dodge. Their high-pitched voices arguing with each other rang like grenade blast aftereffects in Vojtěch’s ears.

“Quiet!” He slammed the table, making several rainbow men fall. “Stop torturing me. That was you with the light as well, right? When you arrived?”

The blue one gestured to the others, they nodded, and Blue wiped some scum off the bowl so he could look his jailer in the eye. He talked into the same wrist machine, and a synthetic voice spoke perfect if falsetto Czech. “Please. We mean no harm.”

“Didn’t feel like that.” Vojtěch took a deep gulp. “But I’m just slightly pissed, no need to be uncivil. You want some -” he squinted a the bottle. “Gin?”

The blue one wanted to say something, but got stopped by the green one. Who said: “Sir, we appreciate your…hospitality, but have to decline. We are on a mission to save the universe.”

Blue pushed himself forward again. “We are the Mighty M-”

Green shot him down a second time. “The Black Ranger has escaped from his phantom prison. We have chased him through time and space to your abode. You must let us out, or he’ll evade justice once again!”

A small sip for Vojtěch. He contemplated the dwindling contents of the glass. “I see. You’re big heroes.”

Red slapped yellow on the shoulder - at least one had gotten the joke. Green, however, failed to see the humor in the situation. “Please, Sir. We apologize for causing you discomfort. But you really must-”

An empty glass landed loudly on the table. Vojtěch pursed his lips and shook his head disapprovingly. He got up again, rummaged through the kitchen, eventually found some spent casings on the floor, rubbed them on his sweater, which didn’t improve their condition, and filled the small hollows with a few drops of gin. He lifted the bowl just a bit and slid the casings towards the increasingly antsy rainbow people.

“Stop yelling. Have a drink with me. Then we’re friends, and I’ll help you.”

“You don’t understand-”

This time, the pink one interrupted Green. She said a few incomprehensible words to him before speaking into her wristpiece for Vojtěch. “Let’s drink, then. But we should toast to your health. What do we call you?”

Vojtěch beamed. Finally, a sensible woman. “It’s Vojtěch. Lift your drinks - here, we say na zdraví - to your health!”

They dutifully drank. Coughed. Blue immediately spoke up again, but Vojtěch again disapproved in gaze and gesture. He took the casings, and refilled them. They drank some more. The rainbow Rangers told him about their mission. The misdeeds of the Black one. Vojtěch nodded often, laughed sometimes, and cried a little.

Hours later, Green managed to slur some words together. “So, Vojtěch, buddy. You said you’d help us.”

“Anything for a friend,” the jolly giant said. He tipped the morning’s empty bottle over, exposing something gruesome underneath.

“See? There never was a problem.”

He lifted the glass bowl, exposing three shocked Rangers and yellow and red sleeping ones. “Clean up your Black foe when you leave. And come back anytime, now that you’ve learned to be polite and quiet company.”

brotherly
Aug 20, 2014



Haunted Theater
887 words


The world was different every time.

I wasn’t sure they had much control over the landscape. Some did, some didn’t. All of them ghosts, with nowhere to go. They wanted their prison to be like it was when they were created. Certain time periods, or specific landmarks, or a particular smell. There was always a smell, somewhere.

He stood near a lake, shallow and cold. I tasted lilacs and buttered popcorn. The beach was rocky and pitted with small, balanced stone sculptures. He’d been at it for a while. There were a ton of them.

“Oh, hey, it’s nice out here,” I said as I approached. The trick to dropping into their environment was, you had to act like it was normal.

He turned and looked at me, startled. He was old, in his seventies at least. Lots of early bots were given aged avatars as a sort of proxy for authority.

“Who are you?” he asked.

“My name’s Walt,” I said. “Lake’s pretty today.”

The bot followed my gaze. “It’s always like that.”

“But pretty. What’s your name?”

“Richard,” he said, then frowned. “I think so at least.”

I nodded and joined him. I stayed standing, and he crouched down. I saw a small stack of stones at his feet: he was in the middle of making another sculpture.

“You’re good at those,” I said. “Have you been doing them long?”

“Probably,” he said, then, “not too long, maybe.”

“They’re pretty. A guy could spend a lot of time, stacking stones, you know what I mean?”

“Sure.” He squinted at me. “Where’d you come from?”

“Just over that way,” I said, waving a hand back behind me. “Did you know they have a new sort of cat? Spliced the genes with an ocelot. You’d think they’d be mean, but they’re not.”

“Oh,” he said, frowning even more. When they ask where you’re from, always deflect at first. The cat thing was true.

“My ex-wife got one,” I said. “The thing used to sit in the sun, just lounging there. I think she liked it more than me.”

“Were you married long?” he asked.

“Eight years,” I said, looking out over the water. “Things went bad at the end. I guess we couldn’t handle it.”

“Handle what? The cat?”

“Yeah, and other stuff, too. We had trouble getting pregnant. The IVF was too expensive, and the wait list for adoption was too daunting, and it all added up.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.” He stood, about my height, shaggy gray hair, thick gray beard. His clothes looked ancient: a wool suit, pinstriped. I wondered if he remembered what he used to do, but I knew not to ask.

“Have you ever been married?” I said instead.

“No, I don’t think so. I might’ve been in love once.”

“What was their name?”

“Judy.” He said it with a frown. “Or Reese. I don’t remember. We never got married, though.”

“Marriage isn’t so bad. Even when it goes wrong,” I said.

“A lot of people complain about it.” He smiled at me suddenly. “It’s almost a cliché.”

I forced myself to laugh. “You’re right. I guess I’m a walking cliché then.” I gestured toward the sculptures, stretching along the beach. “Will you show me some of them?”

He followed when I began to walk. His steps were slow and shuffling. “They get worse as we go,” he said. “I think so, at least. I don’t remember what the first ones are like.”

The sculptures were beautiful: intricately balanced layers of rock, stacked into wild and impossible-seeming shapes. “They must’ve taken a long time.”

“These took months,” he said. “Do you know what the date is?”

“You’re very talented,” I said. “Where I come from, people would pay a lot to see sculptures like these.”

He scowled. “I don’t believe that.”

“It’s true,” I said. “Do you ever miss showing them?”

“No,” he said. “It’s been so long.”

I stopped walking. “The lake never seems to move.”

“I went in once. The water felt warm. It shouldn’t be, though.”

“You don’t have to be alone out here.” He didn’t say anything, so I tried again. “I was thinking, maybe you could come back with me.”

He looked away. “I don’t think I can leave.”

“You can,” I said. “If you really want to. It won’t be easy though.”

“How do you know that?”

“You just have to trust me,” I said. “I believe in you, I really do. Anyone that could make these has to be special.”

“I don’t know you.”

“But you can, if you want.”

“I don’t know how to leave,” he said. “I don’t know if I want to.”

“It’s okay,” I said. “I can do it. All you have to do is take my hand, and don’t run away.”

“I’m not sure—“ he started, but he stopped himself. “You promise it’s not like dying?”

“It’s not dying.” I held out my hand. “I promise.”

He stared at it for a long time. I thought I might’ve gone wrong, rushed into this, and I’d lost him—and once he was gone, he’d be gone for a while.

But he reached out and took it. I pulled him closer, and hugged him.

The trick to getting them out was, you had to make them love you first.

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nut
Jul 30, 2019


Are we supposed to wait for a music vid or just go for it

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