In. Pick my poo poo for me. I have to measure my laziness
|# ¿ Jan 5, 2021 21:14|
|# ¿ Sep 27, 2023 00:28|
My City, My Rules
I smooshed my servant’s so he resembled a cabbage patch kid. “Jasper,” I said, doing my best to not slur my words. I suspiciously eyed the empty wine bottles strewn around the parlour. “I believe tonight might have been a tad too much if I say so miself.”
Jasper attempted to pry my hands from his face, but quickly realized I used to face to stay upright, he relented. “Well, my prince,” he told me through duck lips. “Coronations are not a weekly affair. We must celebrate accordingly.”
I belly-laughed. I then vowed to never belly-laugh again as my stomach contracted painfully. I nearly doubled over. Patting Jasper’s shoulder, I looked him in the eye. “You’re right, my friend.” I felt him stiffen, but I continued. “There’s so much damage I need to repair from past generations of exploitation.
“I haven’t told anyone my true intentions once I’m ruler until now. The upper class would riot if they knew. I have plans to elevate the poor in my city. Give everyone a monthly universal income supported by taxes. Honestly, everyone hates taxes. But what if everyone benefited from it in a tangible way?” I stumbled away from Jasper and kept talking. “It would mean less money for patrols, but crime is born of desperation.”
I looked around the room, puzzled that all my friends have been uncharacteristically quiet. My stomach cramped again and I stumbled to my knees, propped up by the couch.
I peered over the couch to find Fabian and Laurent sprawled on the floor, eyes open and stiff as boards. Bloody vomit stained their clothes and faces. It took an embarrassing amount of time for the implication to pierce through my fog of my drunkenness.
I pushed myself up from the couch and drew power from my Patron. The influx of mana purged the alcohol and poison from my body with a painful burn. Clarity bit in. I spun around, magic crackling in my fingertips and gasped when a thrown dagger embedded itself between my ribs.
The connection to my Patron was severed. I reached for more power, but it felt like trying to grab a silk thread fluttering in the wind. I looked to my would be assassin and Jasper stood there, his face a mask, a knife in his offhand.
“Jasper,” I gritted my teeth against the pain and backpedaled toward the far bookcase. He followed me with his eyes, something causing him to hesitate throwing the second dagger. “I don’t-” A sharp pain jolted me dizzy as my ribs scraped against the blade edge. I leaned against the bookshelf, my hand moving toward the snow globe affixed to a shelf.
“Wait Koeniger!” It was then that Jasper came to his senses and raced toward me with an outstretched hand.
It was too late. The snowglobe’s magic whisked me away to relative safety to the other side of the wall. I sat down, trying to hold the knife still with a trembling hand. Adrenaline kept the pain from overwhelming me for the time being.
“Koeniger, are you still there?” I heard the muffled voice of Jasper from the other side of the wall.
“Go away, traitor. Your plot to usurp the throne has been defeated.” I gritted my teeth against the oncoming nausea.
There was silence for quite awhile and I assumed Jasper left, but he spoke again, more subdued. “I didn’t have a choice, sir.”
“Oh, is that right? You didn’t have a choice to to stab your friend in the loving ribs?” I felt the heat of frustration building in my head. “‘Oh, it wasn't my fault, I was controlled by a super mage and my actions aren’t my own’. La-dee-loving-da Jasper! Don’t try to pull that poo poo on me.”
“I could have killed you. I had the opportunity, but I didn’t. I couldn’t.”
“Just say you’re a terrible thrower, like I am. “Tch, loving anti-magic wards on this bullshit.”
“Yea, I’m sorry about that.”
“‘I’m sorry about that’ get hosed Jasper. Why are you even still here talking to me? You think you can sway me back to your side and I’ll come running to you with arms wide open? Do you think I’m stupid?”
“No, I just,” he paused, “I believe I have made an unforgivable error. I allowed myself to become radicalized against you, when in truth you had all our best interests in mind.”
“Right now, I don’t have your best interest in mind, believe you me.”
“I understand, and do not blame you. I’ve let myself be used by listening to the lies of a politician I thought I could trust. But we can reverse my mistake.”
“Again, Jasper, you assume I will trust anything that comes out-”
“These knives are a pair. The one… you have has an anti-magic field enchanted into it. It’s made so it can slip past shields. The knife I have is the backup in case the first knife isn’t a killing blow. If both knives are in the same body, the magic will connect in a destructive way.”
My mouth dropped in shock. “Who makes designs this crazy?”
“This is your uncle’s doing. As we speak, he’s probably delivering news that you were killed in an assassination.”
“How loving cliche, Uncle!” I made my dramatic entrance bursting into the throne room full of sycophants and spineless lawmakers while I still wore my bloody clothes. They collectively gasped. Jasper stood beside my uncle as he sat on my throne, that old oval office. I saw a series of emotions flash across his face; surprise, horror, relief and indignance.
“We thought you dead, Koeniger!” my uncle proclaimed to the hall. “With all the bodies and you gone, I feared the worst.”
“Shut your thin mouth. You sent assassins after me! You don’t get to act all surprised.” There was a murmur in the hall. No doubt scheming as to who to side with.
My uncle leaned forward, frowning. “Watch where you throw accusations, boy.”
“Boy? Is this how you speak to your ruler, Uncle?” I walked closer, remnants of pain in my ribs grating on frayed nerves with every step, but I kept it out of my face. “That’s my seat you have your rear end on.”
There was an uncomfortable silence in the chamber. No one moved.
The crowd gasped again as I drew power into my hands. My connection to my Patron wasn’t at a hundred percent, but I could work with this. “Uncle, I’m seeing that you’re having sudden difficulty remembering how your legs work.”
Still my uncle said nothing. I kept walking forward.
“Did you not have a speech prepared for a failed coup? I would have thought you would at the very least try to get me on your side before the inevitable and obvious betrayal-”
Blue flames leapt up all around me, blackening my clothes and singeing my hair. With an expulsion of power, an icy barrier covered my skin and immediately afterward I was obscured by steam. I honed in on my uncle’s magical source and launched spikes of marble from the ground in front of me, but I sensed they were harmlessly slapped down to the ground before they reached halfway.
The floor beneath me, heaved me up and forward, and at the apex of my flight, needles of ice sheared away from my barrier and showered him in a deadly gleam. The ice turned to a misty spray that was no doubt refreshing in this heat. When I landed, the ground betrayed me and in what seemed to be an instant, my hands, feet and neck were wrapped by tendrils of stone.
The whole fight lasted seconds.
My uncle stood and sneered. “I never recalled you being this weak, nephew.”
He was right. The anti-magic dagger I now had hidden in my sleeve, had hosed my ability to draw power from my Patron. I struggled vainly as the realization that I lost began to sink in.
My uncle approached me with Jasper at his side. I stared at Jasper, but he avoided my angry gaze.
“Come to gloat, I see?”
He said nothing. He lifted up a hand to command the vine to crush my windpipe and-
Jasper, quick as a viper, attacked my uncle, but my uncle caught his wrist in a vice, crushing all the bones. The knife fell from his slack grip, but Jasper caught it with his offhand and jammed the tip into my uncle’s leg.
The stone tendrils collapsed. My uncle was close enough that I couldn’t miss. The knife dropped into my hand and I cocked back, sparing a glance at Jasper.
“Throw it Koeniger!”
My aim was true. The explosion left a crater where my uncle and Jasper stood, leaving the rest of us sprawled across the floor.
As the crown was placed on my head, my thoughts wandered to Jasper and I build this city into something he’d be proud of.
|# ¿ Jan 11, 2021 03:17|
Thank you for the crits judges
|# ¿ Jan 12, 2021 04:46|
You know I'm in
|# ¿ Jan 19, 2021 18:06|
All right, you heels and faces, I'm hurling myself into the fray as Brawl Judge. I have no idea what I'm doing, since I've never done this before, which makes me the absolute perfect referee for such a high-stakes duel. This brings me to the prompt:
I feel like this is too good to not be a week
|# ¿ Jan 23, 2021 18:43|
Flying By The Seat Of Your Pants
796 p bad words
The occultist contorted his face like he smelled an oily fart. “Sir, I have never, in my life had someone ask me to do what you are asking me to do.”
Patrick, excited that he might have finally found someone who could help, opened his mouth to speak and was immediately spoken over.
“Ever. And I’ve been asked to do some pretty heinous things. I feel that you’re not actually aware of what you’re asking me.”
Patrick nodded absently. “Well, I do know-”
“If you had an idea of what you’re asking, you wouldn’t be asking.” The occultist gesticulated with his hands in the way a passionate professor would do for a class of bored students. “It changes the person. Fundamentally. Irreversibly. Not to mention this is an affront to nature and multiple gods. Honestly, I am a man of ethics and this is an attack on my morals.”
Patrick placed an impressive stack of large bills on the table between them.
“But I, Cormac Adams, am a man of science,” Cormac said while sliding the money off the table and into his pocket. “If this would further our understanding of things and propel humanity forward, I would be a fool to not take this opportunity in earnest.”
The next day, Cormac stood in a crowd of around fifty people (post pandemic of course) wondering why he was such a whore for money. He checked his watch and nodded at the time. He laid down on the grass and closed his eyes. This is going to be interesting, he thought, never been skydiving before.
Cormac mentally flipped a switch behind his eyes, and when they next opened, he was looking out into cerulean skies and lazy clouds. “I’m here,” he said through borrowed vocal chords.
Patrick jumped in surprise and placed a hand on his throat. “Holy poo poo man,” he shouted through the noise of rushing air and the airplane’s propellers, “This way loving cool, bro!”
Cormac looked around the cabin, but the control of the body was suddenly taken away from him. He focused and then implanted a thought into Patrick’s head. You need to relax and let me take control or this isn’t going to work.
“Right, just like we practiced.” Patrick took a slow breath in and relaxed his limbs during the exhale.
Cormac took a slow breath in and exerted his influence on the body during the exhale. They stood up and walked to the open door and checked the wristwatch. “One last time, there’s a five second time window to execute this spell or it’s not going to work, so focus on your breathing.”
Without a second thought, they leaped from the plane and plummeted to earth without a parachute. Immediately Patrick freaked the gently caress out.
“AAAAAAAAHHHH!!!” Patrick screamed and desperately flailed his arms. “AAAAAAAAAHHH”
Goddamit Patrick, you loving pussy! Cormac shouted into his head. They were spinning uncontrollably and the details on the ground were becoming clearer with each rotation. You need to relax and give me control again!
“FFUUUUUUU~,” was his ineloquent response. Patrick also poo poo his pants.
His mind raced as he went through his dwindling options. It’s been twenty seconds in the blink of an eye. Time was running out and Cormac made the mistake of letting Patrick brag about him to his friends.
Cormac focused so hard, he felt his willpower straining the thread binding him to his own body just ten thousand feet below. He let the energy build up in his head and then in one pulse of power, took control of Patrick’s arm and smashed his fist right into his face.
Patrick blacked out, and in that moment, Cormac took control. He spread his body out to slow the fall and faced the ground. He had about fifteen seconds to complete a twenty second spell. If Patrick’s bowels weren’t already empty, Cormac would have poo poo himself.
Cormac rushed through the hand signs, feeling the energy web around his body. The ground was coming up fast as hell. He found himself screaming as he sped up his hands.
Eight seconds. The air whistled as it was forced through the magical web.
Five seconds. Cormac almost fumbled the spell, but caught the errant finger from swooping at the wrong angle.
Three seconds. The spell crackled in his mind.
One second. The spelled whined in his mind as it armed itself.
Cormac exploded upright to a seated position and clutched his heaving chest. Around him, the crowd cheered as Patrick stumbled out from the dust he left when he belly flopped to the earth.
Cormac sighed a breath of relief. He then frowned as he for the second time that day, he felt poo poo in his pants.
|# ¿ Jan 25, 2021 04:07|
I'm in. Gimme the horsey
|# ¿ Feb 3, 2021 20:21|
Putting the Fun in Contract
900 Gloriously glorious words specifically written for momma Yoruichi (which are also bad)
A papery, white skinned devil in all her malevolent glory, reclined in the absolute darkness of the Void wearing her favorite snuggie. She placed a bowl of unpopped popcorn on her lap, and tossed a few kernels into her mouth. Those teeth cracking corn nuggets were no match for her vorpal sharp teeth and she gnashed through their flimsy defenses. She moaned in contentment and relaxed as a newly freed devil.
A twinkling at the edges of her periphery caught her attention. Dread writhed in her guts like a pit of vipers as she read her name flickering in the Void. It reminded her of the cheap neon “open” sign used in the shop she briefly worked at.
Some idiot mortal was summoning her. “loving, why?!” she shouted, slapping her bowl of popcorn kernels away. The Void consumed it like some eldritch roomba. She stood there, in the black, and crossed her arms in a stubborn manner. She shook her head. “Not doing it,” she hissed through clenched teeth. “I just got back.”
Her name sparkled in response in a most annoying manner.
Kana frowned and turned away. Yet her name kept itself in her line of sight and it moved ever closer. She clicked her tongue. “gently caress you. I’m going to relax harder than any mortal ever achieved, even if it kills me. You’re not going to ruin this for me.”
Mimicking those mortals as best as she could, Kana went for a stroll in the hellscape of the Void and moved her arms in a farcical way. She waved at a drawn and quartered human with their entrails hanging out; being tortured for all of eternity for downloading ThirdEyeBlind_Blue_Album.mp3.exe on his family’s computer and blaming the subsequent corruption of said computer on his younger sister. He screamed in agony. “He seems nice,” she said to herself.
Her floating name got closer still, apparently not appreciative of being ignored.
She tried having tea with a succubus acquaintance of hers, but her name took up so much vision real estate that she accidentally knocked the cup over and almost got what looked like jizz on her.
She even attempted to take a power nap, but her loving name seared itself into her retinas with their brightness. She raged and flailed her way out of her blankets like a rabid octopus, screaming at the top of her lungs.
With an annoyed slash of her hand, an inky hole tore itself open in the space in front of her. travelling through, she shouted, “What in the micropenisy gently caress do you want?”
Kana’s violent entrance stunned the only robed man in the room. He knelt in front of the chalk circle she found herself trapped in. His eyes were wide with a mix of terror and confusion. She caught a glimpse of her reflection in a dusty mirror behind him and saw her disheveled state. She still wore her sleeping cattle skull mask on her face, wrinkled jammies and her jet black hair was a rat’s nest that made her look like she was electrocuted. She reached forward to grab the human, and was irritated by his competence when a barrier blocked her hand.
The man bowed, his forehead touching the ground, and started in on his obviously rehearsed greeting. “H-hello oh great demon-”
“I’m a devil, not a demon. Don’t let my beauty care regime throw you,” Kana interrupted. She lifted the cattle skull up to have it rest on top of her head and then put her fists on her hips, assuming a power stance. “And stop with the grovelling. Just tell me why I’m here so we can get on with our lives.”
The man stuttered, his mouth hanging open in astonishment. “Yes, I uh-” he nervously paused, trying to remember why he summoned her, “Honorable Devil, I wish for a boon of power. I want to be the most powerful man at my place of work.”
Kana tilted her head. She was never that familiar with how hierarchies at jobs actually worked. She was always at the top, partly because of her power. She was positive she could grant him the boon and nodded. “Finish the contract and I will do what must be done.”
The man grinned as he cut his palm with a knife and placed his hand on the chalk circle. The barrier turned blood red and disappeared with a flash and sounds of clattering glass.
Kana grasped the man by the shoulder. Immediately, they were at his manager’s house, standing in front of a very surprised boss. Kana punched her fist through his chest, his heart flying across the room.
The summoner stuttered, his face nearly as white as Kana’s skin. “W-wait that’s not-”
They teleported forty-seven more times, Kana quickly, and messily dispatching all the mortals who stood in her summoner’s way.
She nodded in appreciation of her work.
The man slumped to his knees, obviously in awe of her handiwork, she thought.
“What have you done?” The man said hoarsely.
“I did as you asked. Now as to follow human customs, you shall inherit the company. Congratulations young master.”
The man was speechless.
Kana nodded with a too wide smile. “That was actually a lot of fun. My last contract was an absolute drag compared to this. Let’s do this again sometime!”
The man sobbed quietly.
|# ¿ Feb 8, 2021 01:33|
THUNDERDOME WEEK QUATRO QUATRO CINCO VALENTINE EXTRAVANGANZA
Ah yes, the blood throne is finally mine! It has not escaped my noticed that I won the week using a recurring character. Perhaps I should do something with th-
You are tasked to write about a couple going through Valentine's day together! Two quick, simple, easy things really before you get started. 1! I'm gonna need you domers to look through past entrees and pluck one of your favorite characters you put on the page. Bam, they are now one of the protagonists. If you haven't written a dome story before pick a protag from last week (with the author's permission of course). 2 (two)!! They have a strong emotion about the second character in your story. Like last week, when you sign up tell us an emotion. The person who signs up after you will have that emotion coming from one of two of their characters. First sign up gets the last emotion posted.
Hopefully that's clear. The throne makes you heady as the air is thin up here in victory land.
Since it's Valentines, you CAN write erotica, but keep it tasteful. That line is blurry and ill defined, so if you decide to get sexy, you'll do so at your own peril.
Word count is 1000 words.
No google docs or other funny stuff.
Deadline to sign up is Friday 2000 hours EST. 8pm you fuckers. Deadline to post is 0800 Monday morning! Why are you doing it so weird, Pappa Merc? I hear you ask. It's because Sunday night is my day 3/4 at the hospital and I won't have the energy to read your (good) poo poo so thbbbt.
If you want a flash rule, I can throw you a meme that might, or might not help.
1. Me! (Merc)
2. Lily Catts
3. And You???
sparksbloom -not angry, just disappointed
flerp - do I like you, or do I want to BE you??
sebmojo - jesus christ youre dumb as poo poo, i love you
brotherly - oh god please let this time be different
Yoruichi - absolutely bewildered
Mercedes fucked around with this message at 22:56 on Feb 9, 2021
|# ¿ Feb 9, 2021 15:47|
In. Gimme a meme.
|# ¿ Feb 9, 2021 23:02|
Hell, give me one too
|# ¿ Feb 9, 2021 23:30|
|# ¿ Feb 10, 2021 00:27|
In. I'd like a meme, and I'm having difficulties picking an emotion. Is "I did this all for you, baby!!!" an emotion?
|# ¿ Feb 10, 2021 00:36|
No more sign ups! Start writing you bastards.
|# ¿ Feb 12, 2021 18:04|
Emotion: 100% "oh my god, we've got to gently caress right now," horny.
That is if no one else signs up. We got a few more hours still cause I'm daft
Mercedes fucked around with this message at 22:38 on Feb 12, 2021
|# ¿ Feb 12, 2021 22:34|
NO MORE SIGN UPS!
|# ¿ Feb 13, 2021 01:54|
MY DOMERS, this was not a terrible week. There were some stories written. And by good, I mean they made me laugh while having solid plot.
Honorable mention goes to toanoradian. The judges didn't agree with me for the most part for this pick, but I value humor, and doing absurd humor while the story still making sense is difficult, so here's a nod of acknowledgement in your direction.
Dishonorable mention goes to flerp. You told a story after all the cool poo poo happened and left us bored. You were only saved by the loss, which goes to Thranguy. Lack of plot and a mess of worldbuilding. It was not an enjoyable read sir.
The winner of this week, by unanimous decision goes to casual encountress. That was some rock loving solid character building. It was a stand out and quite impressive. The throne is yours. The seat is still warm because I farted on it.
|# ¿ Feb 16, 2021 19:16|
See You in London by brotherly
-Takes too long to get rolling.
-The plot hook is pretty weak and nebulous; which is a shame, because once the spycraft gets started, it gets pretty interesting.
-It’s a double shame because once it gets interesting it ends. And it also ends in an unsatisfactory matter as well.
-If you had spent more words on the tension forming in the last quarter of your story, I feel it would have paid off.
-You didn’t do enough with your science fiction stuff. It was surface level stuff and the story wouldn’t have changed if the main character wore an earpiece.
Not to Fail at Valentine’s by Azza Bamboo
-If the opening was a spice, it’d be flour. It’s so matter-of-fact and does nothing to draw me in.
-Why would Kerry strut for no one? Jasper wasn’t there yet.
-I see what you’re going for here, but you’re doing it in the most direct way possible and that makes it boring.
-I have a plot question, why would Kerry be interested in spending physical time with Jasper? Once Jasper finishes calibrating their conversation seems like they never had any meaningful discussions. You’re telling me they never talked about the significance of Valentine’s day before they decided to hang out on Valentine’s day? It’s obvious Jasper likes to ask basic questions. Their conversation makes it seem like they’re strangers which blows a hole in the plot.
-How the hell did Jasper buy and wrap a book if this the first time she’s been in an android??
-You missed your chance to get body horror on us, that is all.
A Clown and A Fool by toanoradian
-Yessss, judge pandering. I like this opening. It’s so absurd with good use of specifics. Which by comedic necessity are absurd.
-I laughed by the second paragraph. Take that as you will. I’d name my cat Professor SillyStropfordtung.
-I’m thoroughly entertained. Masturbation jokes are always funny. As funny as this story is so far, you’re running the risk of having all jokes and no story, so don’t forget to move the plot along quicker.
-Editing error. Either make all character thoughts italic, or non-italic.
-This is at the top of my list. Should have ended with Evelyn saying “Let’s honk honk.”
Lipstick Kisses by Casual Encountess
-I enjoy the strong character work you got here in just the first two paragraphs. You’re building the world in how the character sees it while moving along.
-Okay, this is really strong character work. I enjoy reading from an “I” perspective when it’s done this well.
-The story itself was strong, but you stumbled just a bit on the ending. I had to reread to make sure I understood. It wasn’t clear that Juniper noticed Abby. “I had promised myself to be less self destructive” line would have worked at the very end after we went through the whole story thinking Jennifer’s name was Juniper. Strong story.
We Didn’t Drown by Flerp
-Ooooooh, second person perspective. This can be so awkward. You have an uphill battle anonymous writer. The opening is already meh.
-That second paragraph is so… extra. Not in a good way.
-How did Raynard catch a fish with his hand when you’re both sitting on a wall? How long is this dude’s arm?
-This conversation is painful. It’s like they’re trying to imitate what two humans would do.
-The main character has the personality of a mute JRPG protagonist. Raynard isn’t much better.
-There’s no plot here.
-Judgetalk Obliterati: it gives us nothing to put us in this char's head, as it were
[12:55 PM] Mercedes: the characters are bland
[12:55 PM] Obliterati: would work just the same in first or third
[12:55 PM] Obliterati: so yeah this ain't it chief
[12:56 PM] Obliterati: plus this worldbuilding isn't really used - if you're going to have a pair of lovers flood the earth that really ought to be more the story than just chilling in the vague aftermath
[12:56 PM] Mercedes: did they cause the world to flood?
[12:57 PM] Obliterati: aye
[12:57 PM] Mercedes: i wasn't paying attention i was so bored
[12:57 PM] Obliterati:
“A fish,” he says. He told you of them. Of things that breathed the ocean waves and swam with their fins deep into the trenches. There are thousands of them, teeming in the oceans you never saw. Now there are more, living in the ocean you two made.
[12:57 PM] Obliterati: last clause is iirc the only explicit statement of it
[12:57 PM] Mercedes: thbbt
[12:57 PM] Obliterati: so basically we're in the post-shoot room after the show
[12:57 PM] Mercedes: oh, so all the cool stuff happened already, and we get told the boring poo poo after
[12:58 PM] Obliterati: p much
[12:58 PM] Obliterati: like I'm a sucker for 'two lads wreck the earth' but not for 'two lads wrecked the earth'
Emotional Registers by Thranguy
-Character introductions were clunky as hell. Don’t make me pull out a dictionary because you forgot to add relevant context. Unless last names are super important to the narrative, you can leave them out.
-I have no clue why the main character thought Conner was in the sewer, on a bus to Canada or inside an animal’s stomach. You’re going into detail on anything important to the plot.
-Why does Stan only have a first name?
-Okay, I need to voice this because it’s really bothering me. You’re doing a shitload of telling and zero showing. It’s obvious, I think, that this is a cyberpunk setting you got going on here.. But I have no clue what a digilect is, I don’t know how any of these cyberpunky tech work because you’ve only named them. You could have used a totally nonsensical Norwegian word in its place and it wouldn’t have changed a drat thing.
-Oh, so NOW I’m a digilect? Is the main character AI? Speak plainly man.
-Why is the main character going on about love. There’s been no character development.
-This is a mess, there’s no structure, plot, or character development. I wouldn’t even know where I would begin to salvage this. This is my loss for the week.
Hell-crossed Lovers by Yoruichi
-Judge pandering!! The best. Hello Kana, you minx.
-Bahahaha Galactic Olympic Games. So far, this is the right mix of absurd and I’m enjoying the ride.
-Goddamn you. You -know- what pandering does to me, you son of a bitch. I will have to mention, this is a bit too on the nose, but gently caress it was enjoyable and I had multiple laughs. I would have liked to see more originality, you basically lifted details wholesale from my previous story.
-If this had more meat to the plot, it would have been an easy win, but still, I very much liked this.
-I have no idea what the meme did to inspire this story.
Song of the Warleader by Pththya-lyi
-I love the over the top declaration for love you’re building here and the initial reaction Jaime has to this. This is the kind of magical realism I love.
-Shiiiiit, it was over so soon! I want to read more. This was great.
-My only complaint is that this is very one note. No twists, nor turns. Just direct from point A to point B. This story could have used another 1000 words and I would have been happy to read them all.
One Job by Sebmojo
-Dave is adorable, that little dumb poo poo.
-I don’t really have any criticisms. This was competently written. Maybe, I wish there was more “story” and less a series of funny events.
|# ¿ Feb 16, 2021 19:17|
|# ¿ Feb 16, 2021 21:40|
give me a flash rule to pls
|# ¿ Feb 16, 2021 21:52|
Hey everyone! Feel free to yell at me or delete this, but I'm going to spam my book in here since Thunderdome is the entire reason I managed to become a professional writer etc. etc. I have a LitRPG (it's mostly fantasy though) that I'm putting up on Royal Road. It's REALLY close to breaking onto the front page of the site and getting way more momentum. If you are at all interested or just want to help me out, give it a read and if you enjoy it, giving me some star ratings (not review, just clicking the star rating thing) will help push the book closer to the front page.
Systran, you rascally son of a bitch! Hell yea, I'll read your lovely book!
|# ¿ Mar 20, 2021 15:49|
Day 1. Rode my electric skateboard through the park near my house. It was stupid cold so I only got 4 miles.
|# ¿ Apr 14, 2021 23:30|
|# ¿ Sep 27, 2023 00:28|
Kayfabe off: I miss you guys so very much and I miss writing, but this pandemic and dealing with all these sick people who blame you till their last breath, and the non-stop mandatory overtime has been making me really depressed and taking its toll on my health.
I've just been surviving day to day and I hope one day I can enjoy working again and find joy in sitting down and writing stories.
|# ¿ Dec 26, 2021 00:24|