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beer pal



mixed bag on the mandarins today. The first was pretty good, the second a bit dried out and a bit bland

RickRogers posted:

Please review kumquats, never personally had one, thanxs

I'll check the produce section on my next grocery run

https://i.imgur.com/xQxnooW.png

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Manifisto




eat a buddha's hand



if it doesn't eat u first


ty heather papps and luvcow

Teddy Thunders

PHANTOM QUEEN



Buddy have you heard of our Lord and savior, dragon fruit? It's real good this year.

beer pal



[to the safeway employee] yeah where do u keep the buddha's hands. yeah. it looks like a sea anemone made of bugles. oh drat i guess i'll just grab some grapes or something.

https://i.imgur.com/xQxnooW.png

beer pal



Kief Richards posted:

Buddy have you heard of our Lord and savior, dragon fruit? It's real good this year.

are they good? ive always heard they just taste like not much at all

https://i.imgur.com/xQxnooW.png

nut


have u heard of apples

https://thumbs.gfycat.com/BowedParallelAcouchi-mobile.mp4
god bles manifisto for the springtime signature

beer pal



look i get that everyones got their favorite niche fruits they want to share with people but im just not sure they stock "apples" in north america

https://i.imgur.com/xQxnooW.png

Heather Papps


hello internet friend




whaqt about a peach


tyvm hbag

beer pal



im strongly pro peach. but i have to say theyre a high variance fruit

https://i.imgur.com/xQxnooW.png

RickRogers

Woh, is that a thing I like??


It's true, biting into an unripe peach is so sad and also voids the warranty

beer pal



another great banana today

https://i.imgur.com/xQxnooW.png

Teddy Thunders

PHANTOM QUEEN



beer pal posted:

are they good? ive always heard they just taste like not much at all

They're good! I like them really overripe tho so I'm probably tasting something forbidden and eldritch

beer pal



i think ive seen them at the grocery store... maybe ill pick one up this weekend

https://i.imgur.com/xQxnooW.png

alnilam


Posting in the springtime


Luvcow posted:

I remember as a small child when my neighbor, billy atton, fell from old Mr. brown's apple tree. we'd been stealing apples, as we often did during those halcyon days of our youth, and then eating them behind his barn where years later I'd have my first kiss with molly boehler. from inside the barn we'd hear the hems and jaws of the milk donkeys intermittently broken by the crunching of the crisp McIntosh apples we'd just pilfered, and as the juice dropped down our faces we'd chuckle at our shenanigans feeling like we were tiny robin hoods and will Scarlett's liberating treasures from the wicked king Jon. it was that day that billy fell, his arm torn open by his tibia, blood soaking into the lush green grass beneath him, that I grew to fear farmers and their wrath, as he lay shrieking in pain and terror old farmer brown came racing from his house with a pitchfork and chased us off, and then viciously stabbed poor Billy over and over again until he was spread about the field like shredded pork. we ran home and cried ourselves to sleep, little tommy Johnson never spoke again, his last sound being the shouts at the old man to stop evicerating our friend. Years later they found several corpses buried in the brown's pasturesand it became apparent that Billy wasn't the first or the last child that the farmer had murdered. whenever I bite into an apple these memories come flooding back, haunting me and forcing me to relive the terror yet again.

the apple I have now is from stop and shop, it was $.79 and has a nice heft to it as I raise it to my mouth. tasty but not too sweet I give this apple a 8/10 on my fruit scale which means I would recommend it.

lol this but also interspersed with artsy photos of farms and bloody dead bodies and apples as well as about 10 ads



ty blaise rascal

frump truck
this is my text



hi i'm FEAR PAL and here are my boot reviews

timberland are pretty good i think

cruft



RickRogers posted:

Please review kumquats, never personally had one, thanxs

Straight talk, if you're a fan of sour candy but wish it squirted when you bite it, you should def. try a kumquat.

Pro tip: don't peel it like a noob. Just toss it in your mouth and bite down. Keep chewing or you'll regret it.

RickRogers

Woh, is that a thing I like??


cruft posted:

Straight talk, if you're a fan of sour candy but wish it squirted when you bite it, you should def. try a kumquat.

Pro tip: don't peel it like a noob. Just toss it in your mouth and bite down. Keep chewing or you'll regret it.

I am so very intrigued now.
Going to find one or go bananas trying

HugeGrossBurrito


I like pluots too

Teddy Thunders

PHANTOM QUEEN



Forums poster beer pal how was today's banana please respond

beer pal



apologies for the delay, my day job temporarily pulled me away from my true passion.

Pleased to say today's banana was also very good. usually the friday bananas are too ripe for my preferences and almost unpleasant, but this one was still just a hair outside the optimal ripeness window - still pretty firm and not over-sweet

https://i.imgur.com/xQxnooW.png

Prof. Crocodile



HugeGrossBurrito posted:

I like pluots too

pluots are everything plums wish they could be, but never will.


thank you heather papps for this historically great sig!
thank you deep dish peat moss for preparing me for The War with dope rhymes!

Heather Papps


hello internet friend




ah, i see - you also are a bunch a week type of sort


tyvm hbag

nut


I had a banana today, inspired by one of my favourite posters beer pal

https://thumbs.gfycat.com/BowedParallelAcouchi-mobile.mp4
god bles manifisto for the springtime signature

beer pal



very exciting post coming this afternoon... stay tuned folks

https://i.imgur.com/xQxnooW.png

Prof. Crocodile



beer pal posted:

very exciting post coming this afternoon... stay tuned folks


thank you heather papps for this historically great sig!
thank you deep dish peat moss for preparing me for The War with dope rhymes!

beer pal



i've just had my second ever mango. The first one i ate (this would be at least a year ago) was severely underripe, not a great experience. This time, I let it ripen for several days on the counter, to the point it had a fair amount of give. as it turns out, this was still not ripe enough. it was fairly bland - hardly any sweetness - not much flavour at all aside from a bit of a floral note. It's also a fairly large fruit to eat in one sitting, and relatively labour-intensive. Maybe sometime soon I'll get another mango and let it ripen much further. it could be a problem of buying mangos in winter, far from the equator, maybe you just cant get good mangos here. more experimentation is needed before i can come down firmly on mangos.

https://i.imgur.com/xQxnooW.png

Heather Papps


hello internet friend




unbelievable. i have never heard tell of a bad mango in my life this is groundbreaking stuff.

they can be a transcendent fruit keep giving them a chance. thanks for the fruit review beer pal!


tyvm hbag

cruft



beer pal posted:

i've just had my second ever mango. The first one i ate (this would be at least a year ago) was severely underripe, not a great experience. This time, I let it ripen for several days on the counter, to the point it had a fair amount of give. as it turns out, this was still not ripe enough. it was fairly bland - hardly any sweetness - not much flavour at all aside from a bit of a floral note. It's also a fairly large fruit to eat in one sitting, and relatively labour-intensive. Maybe sometime soon I'll get another mango and let it ripen much further. it could be a problem of buying mangos in winter, far from the equator, maybe you just cant get good mangos here. more experimentation is needed before i can come down firmly on mangos.

You know what's in season right now?

Kumquats.

You heard it here first.

RickRogers

Woh, is that a thing I like??


I'm sorry to hear of your disappointment, mangoes are one of the bucket list fruits imo.
I think manhoes like to be put in a bag and left out with a banana to get really ripe.

E. That's right a banana; the helping hand fruit

beer pal



i was at the grocery earlier today and im afriad they didnt have kumquats. very disappointing. i did however pick up a dragon fruit

https://i.imgur.com/xQxnooW.png

cruft



RickRogers posted:

I think manhoes like to be put in a bag and left out with a banana to get really ripe.

What about womanhoes?

beer pal



ive never heard of someone being a mango contrarian so maybe i could try that out. could be fun. mangos are trash! youre all lying to yourselvves that theyre any good. youve been duped by big mango!

https://i.imgur.com/xQxnooW.png

Ass-Haggis

asproigerosis confirmed

beer pal, what is your opinion on tangerines? inferior oranges, or a viable niche in the citrus ecosystem?

Heather Papps


hello internet friend




beer pal posted:

i did however pick up a dragon fruit

oh boy this should be good, i don't think i've ever had one!


tyvm hbag

beer pal



frankly im not sure the difference between tangerines, mandarin oranges and clementines. i think theyre all sold pretty interchangably here. i am very much in favour of them and i think theyre vastly superior to larger oranges.

https://i.imgur.com/xQxnooW.png

RickRogers

Woh, is that a thing I like??


Heather Papps posted:

oh boy this should be good, i don't think i've ever had one!

Well,

oh my god they are so dull but look great and have a cool name, so the fruit platter has to have them I guess

cruft



RickRogers posted:

Well,

oh my god they are so dull but look great and have a cool name, so the fruit platter has to have them I guess

It took me a couple reads before I understood you weren't talking about tangerines here.

I was getting ready to fight you.

HugeGrossBurrito


you gotta keep a mango in the fridge it gets soft on the outside slower and doesnít go bad. Iíve found it takes like a month or so but they get perfect

RickRogers

Woh, is that a thing I like??


cruft posted:

It took me a couple reads before I understood you weren't talking about tangerines here.

I was getting ready to fight you.

Noooo not tangerines! They are beautiful orange babies.

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RickRogers

Woh, is that a thing I like??


Omgg beer pal, have you ever had a passion fruit? If not then you have to review one, or do it anyway.

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