- nut
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*sitting in front of my webcam on the mass zoom call and refilling my wine glass*
honey, this owns, they haven't even asked if i believe in god yet
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#
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Jan 10, 2021 17:01
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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#
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Apr 25, 2024 07:01
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- nut
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*squinting at the tiny thumbnails on screen* ...honey can you get me some crackers? I think I'm supposed to eat them to stave off the wine until the socially acceptable afternoon
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Jan 10, 2021 17:02
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- nut
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never been into typography but i guess it's a p nice t
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Jan 10, 2021 17:07
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- Stoner Sloth
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church lyfe tattoed on my rock hard abs
   
       
  
 
   
sigs by the awesome Manifisto, Vanisher, City of Glompton, Pot Smoke Phoenix, Nut, Heather Papps,Prof Crocodile, knuthgrush, Ohtori Akio, Teapot, Saosyhant, Dumb Sex Parrot, w4ddl3d33, and nesamdoom!! - ty friends!
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#
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Jan 10, 2021 17:20
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- Luvcow
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One day nearer spring
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Ok Jessica just hear me out... I've been doing some research on the different religious factions and while these other ones *waves hand dismissively* look nice these guys over here are a little angrier... but they have these sweet old Toyota pickups with huge machine guns mounted on them, they always wear masks and it looks like they do American Ninja Warrior trainings too. See all the guys on the monkey bars? Honey?
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Jan 10, 2021 18:11
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- nut
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gently caress, i just realized i overinvested in wine skills and as a consequence there's no way i can stat out far enough to get snake handling
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Jan 10, 2021 18:21
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- Stoner Sloth
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gently caress, i just realized i overinvested in wine skills and as a consequence there's no way i can stat out far enough to get snake handling
 funny that no snake handling churches will deal with coastal taipans
coincidence or are taipans too powerful for god?
sigs by the awesome Manifisto, Vanisher, City of Glompton, Pot Smoke Phoenix, Nut, Heather Papps,Prof Crocodile, knuthgrush, Ohtori Akio, Teapot, Saosyhant, Dumb Sex Parrot, w4ddl3d33, and nesamdoom!! - ty friends!
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Jan 10, 2021 18:26
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- Buttchocks
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No, I like my hat, thanks.
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presses 'F' to repent
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Jan 10, 2021 18:39
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- Luvcow
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One day nearer spring
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using my q&a time at the end of the service to ask the priest if he's high enough level to cast raise dead. sighing as I turn to my son and sullenly shake my head "no" as he clutches the dead hobos body we found in the woods.
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Jan 10, 2021 18:39
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- nut
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uh hi yes it’s my first time here, I’m a little embarrassed to ask but no one seems to have covered it in the sermon—which one of you is the pope again? I feel like I could guess based on clothing but I don’t want to look naive
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Jan 10, 2021 18:52
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- Stoner Sloth
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using my q&a time at the end of the service to ask the priest if he's high enough level to cast raise dead. sighing as I turn to my son and sullenly shake my head "no" as he clutches the dead hobos body we found in the woods.
a novrel by stephen king
uh hi yes it’s my first time here, I’m a little embarrassed to ask but no one seems to have covered it in the sermon—which one of you is the pope again? I feel like I could guess based on clothing but I don’t want to look naive
hail to the dope pope baby, is one of my macros on dude shootem
sigs by the awesome Manifisto, Vanisher, City of Glompton, Pot Smoke Phoenix, Nut, Heather Papps,Prof Crocodile, knuthgrush, Ohtori Akio, Teapot, Saosyhant, Dumb Sex Parrot, w4ddl3d33, and nesamdoom!! - ty friends!
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#
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Jan 10, 2021 18:55
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- Khanstant
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i offer the church this Posting Gem so that they may avert their gaze from me when choosing who next to hang upon their alphabet scultpure
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#
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Jan 10, 2021 21:08
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- Macnult
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found a church that puts its trust into christ but also supports the vaccine and other cool things
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Jan 11, 2021 09:31
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- Macnult
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the sermons are kind of dull but the music quality is like listening to a kexp performance
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Jan 11, 2021 09:33
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- Allie
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if ever there were a time to be losing my religion
but alas i never had one to begin with
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Jan 11, 2021 10:41
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- Buttchocks
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No, I like my hat, thanks.
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speedruns the mass for charity livestream
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#
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Jan 11, 2021 16:37
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- Vei
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i offer the church this Posting Gem so that they may avert their gaze from me when choosing who next to hang upon their alphabet scultpure
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#
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Jan 11, 2021 17:51
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- FutonForensic
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setting my username to "god" just to see the joy on the congregation's faces when I join the call
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#
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Jan 11, 2021 23:18
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- Buttchocks
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No, I like my hat, thanks.
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enjoying coffee hour alone in bed
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#
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Jan 11, 2021 23:46
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- vanisher
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My zoom picture lights up as I unwrap some hard candy during the sermon
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#
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Jan 12, 2021 00:16
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- nut
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*upvotes god*
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#
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Jan 12, 2021 00:20
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- Rocket Baby Dolls
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Normally I don't make aesthetic criticisms in other peoples' homes, but that rug looks like a beaver exploded. If meat is murder, then that rug is at least a severe beating.
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Have you confessed your sins yet?
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#
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Jan 12, 2021 00:52
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- Macnult
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setting my username to "god" just to see the joy on the congregation's faces when I join the call
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#
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Jan 12, 2021 01:07
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- google THIS
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setting my username to "god" just to see the joy on the congregation's faces when I join the call
There have to be at least two or three people already on the call before you do this
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#
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Jan 13, 2021 18:26
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- nut
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preempt king each sermon by making everyone agree to God’s TOS
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#
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Jan 13, 2021 18:33
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- kuskus
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Eating Flamin’ Hot Eucharist on cam during & after transubstantiation.
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#
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Jan 15, 2021 04:48
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- Macnult
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are you there, god? your mic is muted
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#
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Jan 15, 2021 06:56
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- wimsy
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setting my username to "god" just to see the joy on the congregation's faces when I join the call
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#
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Jan 15, 2021 14:34
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- kuskus
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USPS just dropped off my church's remote welcome packet in a crinkly padded envelope. It includes a stale donut, church bulletin, scratch and sniff card with illustrated patrons that smells like bad breath, grandma perfume, and musty pew. Also included is a cassette of children crying mixed with loud snoring. I feel like I'm really there.
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Jan 15, 2021 17:48
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- Buttchocks
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No, I like my hat, thanks.
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every member of the choir is using a different autotune setting
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#
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Jan 15, 2021 22:05
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- canyoneer
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I only have canyoneyes for you
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the catholic church is taking covid precautions very seriously since the pope got a sars-related illness a few years ago
he got the bird flu from a cardinal
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#
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Jan 18, 2021 01:46
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- deep dish peat moss
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never been into typography but i guess it's a p nice t
lol
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Jan 18, 2021 02:21
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- deep dish peat moss
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don't forget to subscribe to our tithe bowl patreon to become a patreon saint.
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Jan 18, 2021 02:22
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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#
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Apr 25, 2024 07:01
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- Finger Prince
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All I said to the bishop is I can get the church a deal on Webex through work, and apparently now there's a schism.
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#
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Jan 18, 2021 03:01
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Jan 10, 2021 17:01
