Zybourne Clock posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8zGrAWABcw0

Before reading on, briefly close your eyes and picture in your mind the platonic ideal of a video game. What happens if -- assuming your ideal uses a controller -- you press the A-button? If you're like me and your first console was a Nintendo 64, the answer is probably 'the character I'm controlling jumps six feet straight into the air.'

A Hat in Time does not follow this convention set by previous 3D platforming collectathons. By default it expects you to press 'B' instead, which is about my only gripe. In every other aspect, A Hat in Time is the best parts of Super Mario 64 and Banjo-Kazooie, thrown in a blender on high speed and made into a delicious smoothy. Though to describe it by its ingredients undersells its freshness.

The plot and overall goal of the game are simple. You play as Hat Kid, a space-traveling girl five lightyears from home, who wakes up one day to find a blue-suited member of the Mafia bonking on her spaceship window, demanding she pay a toll. When he tries to come in, the space ship's interior decompresses and scatters its time pieces - its fuel - onto the planet below. It's up to you to find and retrieve all forty of them.

But the game throws constant twists and turns on how you're supposed to get them. I don't want to spoil any (because what good is a surprise if you know it's coming?) but they're incredibly varied. What, you insist on examples? Well, in one chapter you're infiltrating a movie studio run by a train-loving owl (or so it claims) and a disco-dancing penguin, locked in a bitter feud with eachother. In another you're escaping a train that's about to self-destruct, and in a third you're locked in a Luigi's Mansion-style haunted house. You might notice a wink or two to other old-timey platformers.

In case you're wondering how these disparate parts function together, they work well. Hat Kid has a modest move set, but all of the game's challenges are built to fully make use of it. Not once in my playthroughs did I feel I was doing 'more of the same.' It even has engaging boss battles, which I feel few of its cousins have.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9_WX52cA9EI
You know that's not how contracts work, right?

Time pieces are the main collectible by which the story progresses, but there's more immaterial things to collect. The developers polished this game to a mirror-shine, and if you take a moment, you can't help but notice the tiny details present everywhere. For instance, in a treasure chest aboard her ship, there's a drawing of Hat Kid's parents. It's of no consequence to the story and you can only see it through careful camera manipulation, but someone took the effort to put it in. Or the million different facial expressions Hat Kid has. Bonk into a wall and she looks hurt. Run out of time on a certain mission and she looks worried. Or the dedicated taunt button that lets you blow raspberries any time you want. Or the double secret taunt that lets you dance real smug. Tiny things, and too numerous to list, but they show how much love was poured into the production process.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zVTx4B-u0oU&t=14s
That first idle animation is my favorite. Some grade-A characterization in 24 keyframes.

You meet a number of characters on your journey. Most try to exploit or kill you, usually both, and they're not the least bit coy about it. All have these larger-than-life cartoon villain personalities and their lines of dialogue are pure gold; you almost can't wait to hear what outrageous thing they're going to say next. They're not the kind of characters you'd expect to find in the Mushroom Kingdom. (The Empress - a cat who runs a jewel smuggling ring - would rob Peach blind. The Snatcher - a malevolent forest spirit - would probably turn Mario inside out because he can.) As a result they're all pretty memorable.


Yes, that RPG launcher fires diamond grenades.

The music deserves a special mention, both for its length (the soundtrack is over six hours long) and its bangers (click the video at the start of this post to inject 10 cc of nostalgia into your earholes for a game you're yet to play.) But much like the game itself, the music is characterized by its variation. It's difficult to describe, but in some levels the tracks mutate and evolve as you progress further into a level or do certain things. Instruments get added, or melodies become more complex. For instance, take the Nyakuza Metro level. Jump on a train car and there's a wooshing sound effect as the BPM picks up, a subtle reminder you're going fast. There's even a few remixes which don't play unless you're driving a scooter, something you might very well miss on a first playthrough.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GDxS8oK6hCc
Forcing me to pick a favorite track is like forcing me to pick a favorite kidney. Impossible, and quite possibly illegal -- depending on your intent.

This game is witty. Its jokes land, are funny, and don't become tired like so many games which try to be humorous on purpose. This game is pretty. Its aesthetic is like a more colorful Windwaker, and the levels are all unique and don't follow the woods-desert-beach-ice-lava progression philosophy of the genre. I can't possibly list every reason why I like it. Not only because there are too many, but because some are purely emotional and would only leak through the holes in the imperfect container that is the written word.

A Hat in Time was announced when I was finishing up my master's degree. Medically speaking, I was in a pretty bad state. My joints ached constantly, and I was tired all the time, and over the years my symptoms worsened. I stopped being able to eat, and at times I felt like I had swallowed a knife. What's worse, my doctor had no clue what was wrong with me. Watching this game grow from its original kickstarter demonstration offered a welcome distraction from the pain.

In 2015 I woke up one morning to find myself unable to walk. I got wheeled into the nearest hospital, and the last thing I remember is receiving a shot of morphine. It wasn't until years later my mother told me I spent some time in the intensive care unit, and that she believed I was going to die. These days I'm doing a lot better. My disease was diagnosed, and I now have the proper medication to mostly be without pain.

One of the hats you collect lets you stop time for a bit. Its description reads: "death is inevitable. Your time is valuable." I don't know if I ever got close to the brink of death, and quite frankly, I don't care to know. All I know is I'm glad I lived through it, and playing this game helped symbolically cap off that terrible time.