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The Something Awful Forums > Main > BYOB: Boxtrot Yuniform Orlie Bilo > Can you digest paper towel because I have an idea
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Plant MONSTER.

you owe your life to plants. think about it.

be grateful.


 .

# ? Jan 14, 2021 22:46
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# ? Feb 28, 2021 06:35
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minecraft_holmes

FLUFFERNUTTER


 my parents dog seems to like em

# ? Jan 14, 2021 22:51
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Plant MONSTER.

you owe your life to plants. think about it.

be grateful.


 anecdotal... but yes, I'll put that down as a point for the pro-digestible column!


shout outs to khanstant for the beautiful signature make sure to "like" and "subscribe"

# ? Jan 14, 2021 23:50
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cruft



 About how much paper towel are we talkin' about here, OP?

# ? Jan 14, 2021 23:59
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Plant MONSTER.

you owe your life to plants. think about it.

be grateful.


 one would think it not unresonable to label two wide "squares" (bounty brand size or similar, not store brands which tend to be very narrow) as a single portion or serving, no?


shout outs to khanstant for the beautiful signature make sure to "like" and "subscribe"

# ? Jan 15, 2021 00:11
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GODSPEED JOHN GLENN


I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.




 A commercial where a person swallows and passes a bounty paper towel, pulls it out of the toilet and tugs on it to show how strong bounty brand paper towels are.

# ? Jan 15, 2021 00:16
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minecraft_holmes

FLUFFERNUTTER


 and then uses it to wipe with

# ? Jan 15, 2021 00:18
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cruft

mailorder bees! posted:

and then uses it to wipe with

The quicker picker-upper!

# ? Jan 15, 2021 00:21
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nut


 u can eat paper and a towel ipso facto


# ? Jan 15, 2021 00:23
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cruft

Plant MONSTER. posted:

one would think it not unresonable to label two wide "squares" (bounty brand size or similar, not store brands which tend to be very narrow) as a single portion or serving, no?

Okay, I don't understand what we're doing yet, but I like to help a BYOB pal out, so I ate two squares.

Preliminary results:

  • Requires a lot of water
  • Not as tasty as tortillas
  • Probably gonna skip dinner now
  • Verified: I can eat two paper towel squares
  • Pending: Digestion results

Stay tuned...

# ? Jan 15, 2021 00:27
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vanisher

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN posted:

A commercial where a person swallows and passes a bounty paper towel, pulls it out of the toilet and tugs on it to show how strong bounty brand paper towels are.
# ? Jan 15, 2021 00:57
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nut

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN posted:

A commercial where a person swallows and passes a bounty paper towel, pulls it out of the toilet and tugs on it to show how strong bounty brand paper towels are.
# ? Jan 15, 2021 00:59
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nut


 eating a roll of brawny and drinking the entire Gatorade dispenser of blue fluid


# ? Jan 15, 2021 00:59
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Plant MONSTER.

you owe your life to plants. think about it.

be grateful.


 lol do you think hair dressers ever look at the blue stuff their combs are in and say "haha thats my blue fluid, that's the blue fluid that came from me"


shout outs to khanstant for the beautiful signature make sure to "like" and "subscribe"

# ? Jan 15, 2021 01:09
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Plant MONSTER.

you owe your life to plants. think about it.

be grateful.


 NO WE CANT TALK ABOUT THAT NOW

We're here to discuss paper towel edibility for an idea I have.

So to the guy or (lady) who ate the paper towels earlier... did you make sure there were no chemicals like bleach or like wood alcohol idk


shout outs to khanstant for the beautiful signature make sure to "like" and "subscribe"

# ? Jan 15, 2021 01:10
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Plant MONSTER.

you owe your life to plants. think about it.

be grateful.


 ideally want something organic with minimal binders...

Mmm I can almost taste it now!


shout outs to khanstant for the beautiful signature make sure to "like" and "subscribe"

# ? Jan 15, 2021 01:11
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cruft

Plant MONSTER. posted:

NO WE CANT TALK ABOUT THAT NOW

We're here to discuss paper towel edibility for an idea I have.

So to the guy or (lady) who ate the paper towels earlier... did you make sure there were no chemicals like bleach or like wood alcohol idk

No...

I just dug the wrapper out of the trash and it doesn't list nutrition facts...

# ? Jan 15, 2021 01:21
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biosterous

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN posted:

A commercial where a person swallows and passes a bounty paper towel, pulls it out of the toilet and tugs on it to show how strong bounty brand paper towels are.

is this the "flossing" that kids were talking a bout like a year ago



thank you heather papps for this sig!!!

# ? Jan 15, 2021 01:45
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Buttchocks

No, I like my hat, thanks.


 it's 2am, you want baklava, but don't have any phyllo in the house

# ? Jan 15, 2021 02:01
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Plant MONSTER.

you owe your life to plants. think about it.

be grateful.

cruft posted:

No...

I just dug the wrapper out of the trash and it doesn't list nutrition facts...

well worst case scenario is you go blind!

Buttchocks posted:

it's 2am, you want baklava, but don't have any phyllo in the house

oh ur getting so close to my idea


shout outs to khanstant for the beautiful signature make sure to "like" and "subscribe"

# ? Jan 15, 2021 02:03
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vanisher



 wait what's the idea



Sig images courtesy of the talented Luvcow, Heather Papps, & Death Sext

# ? Jan 15, 2021 03:14
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sk

(ヤイケス!)




are we talking edible plates

# ? Jan 15, 2021 03:45
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cruft

Plant MONSTER. posted:

well worst case scenario is you go blind!

Update: still feeling pretty full, wish I could have had real dinner but just overall kinda meh about it. Everything else seems normal, about to go to bed.

Hope to have some answers about digestion in 10-16 hours, assuming my pooping schedule stays the same.

# ? Jan 15, 2021 03:53
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spooky ghost

Plant MONSTER. posted:

well worst case scenario is you go blind!


oh ur getting so close to my idea

depending on what you're trying to do, i'd suggest organic rolling papers.
lotsa different sizes, and the material is thin enough that you'd be unlikely to have issues digesting it.


Signature by Khanstant

# ? Jan 15, 2021 16:41
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Finger Prince

"I think he's watching us..."

"No, it's just the Mountain Peeks."
(Source)



 You can turn toilet paper into moonshine, if that helps.

# ? Jan 15, 2021 17:16
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Kaiser Schnitzel

Schnitzel mit uns




 OP if your idea is use your body as a papier mache factory poop out papier mache trinkets, lemme tell ya, it stinks.




ty nut and vanisher for this wonderful sig!
# ? Jan 15, 2021 17:50
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alexandriao

"What're quantum mechanics?"
"I don't know. People who repair quantums, I suppose."


 https://youtu.be/v-mWK_kcZMs

# ? Jan 15, 2021 17:51
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Khanstant



 just bu ya bidet PM. best part is the bidet doubles as a water fountain

# ? Jan 15, 2021 18:01
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Plant MONSTER.

you owe your life to plants. think about it.

be grateful.


 my plan is to make PAPER TOWEL JERKY

what you do is, using melted butter or meat drippings, u soak the paper towel in the melted stuff and then let it dry in light heat until the whole thing is crispy, these can then be bagged and sold as a delicious treat.

Maybe you'd need like two layers on top of eachother for sufficient thickness and crisp

Ever taste munchos? I imagine this would taste exactly like munchos.

Who is ready to make SOME MONEY with ME


shout outs to khanstant for the beautiful signature make sure to "like" and "subscribe"

# ? Jan 15, 2021 18:48
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cruft



 Oh, hi, OP.

Crapped an hour or so ago, so I'm thinking that's a "yes" on digestion, or at least ability to pass. I don't suppose I did a super job on breaking down cellulose, but I didn't really examine it, sorry.

Flavor was bad, gotta admit. Soaking in butter might do wonders.

# ? Jan 15, 2021 18:53
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Finger Prince

"I think he's watching us..."

"No, it's just the Mountain Peeks."
(Source)

Plant MONSTER. posted:

my plan is to make PAPER TOWEL JERKY

what you do is, using melted butter or meat drippings, u soak the paper towel in the melted stuff and then let it dry in light heat until the whole thing is crispy, these can then be bagged and sold as a delicious treat.

Maybe you'd need like two layers on top of eachother for sufficient thickness and crisp

Ever taste munchos? I imagine this would taste exactly like munchos.

Who is ready to make SOME MONEY with ME

I don't think you can make butter crispy. I've never seen crispy butter. Crispy cheese yes, crispy butter, no. Perhaps if you sealed the butter in cheese?

# ? Jan 15, 2021 19:09
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nut


 i can offer you $500, 000 for 15% equity


# ? Jan 15, 2021 19:11
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Kaiser Schnitzel

Schnitzel mit uns




 As a plant monster, have you considered the moral implications of the cannibalism inherent in your consumption of paper?




ty nut and vanisher for this wonderful sig!
# ? Jan 15, 2021 19:31
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Heather Papps


hello internet friend






 i knew i was doing something wrong whenever i wiped gravy from my moustache and then disposed of the napkin. that was late night snacking gold!

https://giant.gfycat.com/GloomyThreadbareAfricanwilddog.webm
a 2020 vanisher original, paired with my khanstant lord - a byob classic!

# ? Jan 15, 2021 19:35
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GODSPEED JOHN GLENN


I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.




 I'm sure you can find a stand selling deep fried paper towels in either Scotland or an American state fair

# ? Jan 15, 2021 21:22
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Finger Prince

"I think he's watching us..."

"No, it's just the Mountain Peeks."
(Source)



 In England they call it "kitchen roll".
Hmm...
Sausage roll...
Kitchen roll...
Could be on to something there.

# ? Jan 15, 2021 21:25
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Khanstant



 whatever, i still think your idea is to wipe from the inside out by eating paper towels

# ? Jan 15, 2021 22:36
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cruft

cruft posted:

Oh, hi, OP.

Crapped an hour or so ago, so I'm thinking that's a "yes" on digestion, or at least ability to pass. I don't suppose I did a super job on breaking down cellulose, but I didn't really examine it, sorry.

Flavor was bad, gotta admit. Soaking in butter might do wonders.

Feeling a little distressed in the bowels right now, maybe this isn't a good idea after all.

# ? Jan 15, 2021 23:18
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Plant MONSTER.

you owe your life to plants. think about it.

be grateful.


 suck it up princess lol


shout outs to khanstant for the beautiful signature make sure to "like" and "subscribe"

# ? Jan 16, 2021 02:05
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# ? Feb 28, 2021 06:35
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cruft

Plant MONSTER. posted:

suck it up princess lol

This could be a good slogan for your new product!

# ? Jan 16, 2021 02:33
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The Something Awful Forums > Main > BYOB: Boxtrot Yuniform Orlie Bilo > Can you digest paper towel because I have an idea
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