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El Mero Mero
Oct 13, 2001

CompeAnansi posted:

I sometimes read "ask Reddit" threads about what your parents did that really messed you up and one of my takeaways from reading all of the responses is that just about anything can mess up someone and that everyone has some trauma, the question is just how bad. Some wish their parents took a more active role in steering their life, others wish they were more hands-off. It's really hard to get hard and fast rules as a result (other than the obvious things like dont abuse your kids). That's part of what makes this all so hard. Everything has to be individualized to the kid in question and there are no clear answers on what will work with them and no matter what you do they'll still end up with some trauma, although ideally as little and as mild as possible.

I sorta think it's not the proactive stuff that matters most with parenting, but the reactive stuff. Like, when something dramatic happens is The Moment that everything gets remembered and it just washes out everything else. Some people sink everything into making sure nothing dramatic ever happens to their kid adn they're super safe...but then it happens anyway and they're not ready.

If you're there for your kid when it matters, even if it's following something traumatic, I think that goes further than years of good will, heartfelt work, and good parenting. That's not to say the latter stuff doesn't matter and shouldn't be done...just that our brains don't reward that stuff.

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Achmed Jones
Oct 16, 2004



echi do not, i repeat do not, take your son and his date to burger king

Volmarias
Dec 31, 2002

I'm sure I'll think of something.

echinopsis posted:

my son has a girlfriend

Is she in Canada, where you can't meet her, but she's also a hockey player and a model

Alternately, tell him you're going to hug her then immediately shake his hand

polyester concept
Mar 29, 2017

Achmed Jones posted:

echi do not, i repeat do not, take your son and his date to burger king

lmao

echinopsis
Apr 13, 2004

fuckkn hell lol

cowboy beepboop
Feb 24, 2001


Achmed Jones posted:

echi do not, i repeat do not, take your son and his date to burger king

omg

evil_bunnY
Apr 2, 2003

El Mero Mero posted:

"He can't hurt himself on this now, right?" - a fool
lmao yes

the amount of small to bigtime injuries I've prevented by simply posting myself between playing children and potential dangers is *innumerable*

Kenny Logins
Jan 11, 2011

EVERY MORNING I WAKE UP AND OPEN PALM SLAM A WHITE WHALE INTO THE PEQUOD. IT'S HELL'S HEART AND RIGHT THEN AND THERE I STRIKE AT THEE ALONGSIDE WITH THE MAIN CHARACTER, ISHMAEL.

Achmed Jones posted:

echi do not, i repeat do not, take your son and his date to burger king
oh fuk

Kenny Logins
Jan 11, 2011

EVERY MORNING I WAKE UP AND OPEN PALM SLAM A WHITE WHALE INTO THE PEQUOD. IT'S HELL'S HEART AND RIGHT THEN AND THERE I STRIKE AT THEE ALONGSIDE WITH THE MAIN CHARACTER, ISHMAEL.

El Mero Mero posted:

"He can't hurt himself on this now, right?" - a fool

cowboy beepboop
Feb 24, 2001


my youngest has entered her insane eating phase. incredible watching the amount of food a 1.5 year old can put away. absolute unit.

FAT32 SHAMER
Aug 16, 2012



being out eaten by your kids really is something to behold

evil_bunnY
Apr 2, 2003

cowboy beepboop posted:

my youngest has entered her insane eating phase. incredible watching the amount of food a 1.5 year old can put away. absolute unit.
My 9YO regularly puts away over 2000 kcal it's loving ridiculous.

FAT32 SHAMER posted:

being out eaten by your kids really is something to behold
it's the best :p

zokie
Feb 13, 2006

Out of many, Sweden
8 year old has started to get interested in cooking, his signature dish is pasta with tomato sauce and meatballs. Last time he cooked he and his little brother (6) finished what started out as 3 cans of tomatoes and half a kilo of pasta. Then they went out to play, feeling smug as gently caress that they are more likely to go out to play than sit down with lego or whatever

not that the house havenít been filled with lego once we discovered that you can get all instructions for free on your iPad and that bricklink is a thing that exists

echinopsis
Apr 13, 2004

https://www.instagram.com/reel/CtMGeNGJ4er/

Powerful Two-Hander
Mar 10, 2004

Mods please change my name to "Tooter Skeleton" TIA.


today we had a very cute response to "we're going out do you want to take your backpack?" Of walking around picking up her current favourite things to take with her. Lots of books.

otoh the shredding of large amounts of toilet paper as an early morning activity is getting old

Achmed Jones posted:

echi do not, i repeat do not, take your son and his date to burger king

idgi

Kenny Logins
Jan 11, 2011

EVERY MORNING I WAKE UP AND OPEN PALM SLAM A WHITE WHALE INTO THE PEQUOD. IT'S HELL'S HEART AND RIGHT THEN AND THERE I STRIKE AT THEE ALONGSIDE WITH THE MAIN CHARACTER, ISHMAEL.
bit of long story but it's echi's to tell

echinopsis
Apr 13, 2004

it probably doesnít need a new audience

Kenny Logins
Jan 11, 2011

EVERY MORNING I WAKE UP AND OPEN PALM SLAM A WHITE WHALE INTO THE PEQUOD. IT'S HELL'S HEART AND RIGHT THEN AND THERE I STRIKE AT THEE ALONGSIDE WITH THE MAIN CHARACTER, ISHMAEL.

echinopsis posted:

it probably doesnít need a new audience
that's fair enough man

cowboy beepboop
Feb 24, 2001


Powerful Two-Hander posted:

today we had a very cute response to "we're going out do you want to take your backpack?" Of walking around picking up her current favourite things to take with her. Lots of books.

🥰

echinopsis
Apr 13, 2004

Kenny Logins posted:

that's fair enough man

itís not so much that I care, I just donít think we can do the original story justice. there was something about the way I worded it the first time that cemented itís place in yoslore, and I know I canít make that magic happen again

FAT32 SHAMER
Aug 16, 2012



find and quote the poasts so we can get caught up without you having to re-tell it

Powerful Two-Hander
Mar 10, 2004

Mods please change my name to "Tooter Skeleton" TIA.


"I can have a bagel when I'm grown up"
"What, a bagel? I don't..."
"When I'm a grown up I can have a bagel! Stop laughing daddy I'm talking!"

Votskomit
Jun 26, 2013
My 17 month old daughter has decided there is no act on earth more cruel, more unbearably sadistic, than her dad not picking her up and carrying her everywhere, all the time.

The good news is I'm picking up muscle mass in my arms and chest.

The bad news is everyone is now asking me to stay hidden when possible, lest the baby sees me and collapses into an irrepressible tantrum.

MrQueasy
Nov 15, 2005

Probiot-ICK

Votskomit posted:

My 17 month old daughter has decided there is no act on earth more cruel, more unbearably sadistic, than her dad not picking her up and carrying her everywhere, all the time.

The good news is I'm picking up muscle mass in my arms and chest.

The bad news is everyone is now asking me to stay hidden when possible, lest the baby sees me and collapses into an irrepressible tantrum.

now Iím imagining you peeking around strategically placed potted palms

Shifty Pony
Dec 28, 2004

Up ta somethin'


somehow my kid learned "my legs don't work! you have to carry me!" and gets so mad when I I tell him to drag himself up the steps using his arms.

fisting by many
Dec 25, 2009



Votskomit posted:

My 17 month old daughter has decided there is no act on earth more cruel, more unbearably sadistic, than her dad not picking her up and carrying her everywhere, all the time.

The good news is I'm picking up muscle mass in my arms and chest.

The bad news is everyone is now asking me to stay hidden when possible, lest the baby sees me and collapses into an irrepressible tantrum.

My 2 year old needs to be carried a lot. I'm trying to coax him into walking to daycare, but he usually doesn't get halfway before freezing and saying "Carry me"

And if I have to pick him up because a car is coming, he won't go back down.

He refuses to ride his trike as well :(

echinopsis
Apr 13, 2004

tbh when the kids were young enough to be in a pushchair it meant we could go for huge walks and it was mint

then when they wanted to walk themselves, going for long walks became infeasible

we used to walk to parks and the zoo and etc but then we had to drive there instead

Volmarias
Dec 31, 2002

I'm sure I'll think of something.

Votskomit posted:

My 17 month old daughter has decided there is no act on earth more cruel, more unbearably sadistic, than her dad not picking her up and carrying her everywhere, all the time.

The good news is I'm picking up muscle mass in my arms and chest.

The bad news is everyone is now asking me to stay hidden when possible, lest the baby sees me and collapses into an irrepressible tantrum.

Welcome. Welcome, to the resistance training that will bring you the dad bod. They will forever demand that you carry them to bed, and you must, for as they grow, so too does the armory built into your arms. Let your guns grow large and powerful. When your child says "dad, I'm getting sleepy" you will respond with "hello, I'm getting sleepy," before lifting them over your shoulder. Your voice will boom with the reassurance: "I, am Dad."

jeebus bob
Nov 4, 2004

Festina lente
Yeah I have never been stronger and more fit in my life than I am right now and I owe it all to being the designated pack mule for two growing kids and their mother who, in fairness, has a bad hip.

Powerful Two-Hander
Mar 10, 2004

Mods please change my name to "Tooter Skeleton" TIA.


yeah the other day I thought "why does this child feel lighter even though they are now heavier?" then I remembered someone saying "it's like the way your child doesn't feel like they're getting heavier because you're getting strong to match"

I still have skinny noodle arms though, just bigger shoulders

echinopsis
Apr 13, 2004

check out mr camel legs for arms over here

Powerful Two-Hander
Mar 10, 2004

Mods please change my name to "Tooter Skeleton" TIA.


echinopsis posted:

check out mr camel legs for arms over here

"It's not from jacking off I swear!" I cry as the bros in the gym point and laugh

Kenny Logins
Jan 11, 2011

EVERY MORNING I WAKE UP AND OPEN PALM SLAM A WHITE WHALE INTO THE PEQUOD. IT'S HELL'S HEART AND RIGHT THEN AND THERE I STRIKE AT THEE ALONGSIDE WITH THE MAIN CHARACTER, ISHMAEL.

Volmarias posted:

Welcome. Welcome, to the resistance training that will bring you the dad bod. They will forever demand that you carry them to bed, and you must, for as they grow, so too does the armory built into your arms. Let your guns grow large and powerful. When your child says "dad, I'm getting sleepy" you will respond with "hello, I'm getting sleepy," before lifting them over your shoulder. Your voice will boom with the reassurance: "I, am Dad."
🫡

polyester concept
Mar 29, 2017

I simply offset the extra fitness gains from carrying children by binge eating due to stress after they're in bed

evil_bunnY
Apr 2, 2003

made the mistake of going bouldering without my kid and have been in pain for the last 2 days. turns out the breaks from climbing to spot/belay them help not overwork every loving muscle I possess.

Votskomit posted:

My 17 month old daughter has decided there is no act on earth more cruel, more unbearably sadistic, than her dad not picking her up
There will come a day when you can't, so hop to it.

evil_bunnY fucked around with this message at 15:29 on Sep 6, 2023

polyester concept
Mar 29, 2017

evil_bunnY posted:

There will come a day when you can't, so hop to it.

I think about this often. Not just with kids, but especially with kids because they get bigger so fast. There's always a last time you'll do something with them and in the moment you never realize it's the very last time. Holding them on your shoulders, buckling them in the car seat, all those little daily rituals that you don't think about.

evil_bunnY
Apr 2, 2003

polyester concept posted:

I think about this often. Not just with kids, but especially with kids because they get bigger so fast. There's always a last time you'll do something with them and in the moment you never realize it's the very last time. Holding them on your shoulders, buckling them in the car seat, all those little daily rituals that you don't think about.
dude can you please stop loving me up

Eeyo
Aug 29, 2004

there will be a time when you last look into the innocent eyes of your child, uncorrupted by the internet

Achmed Jones
Oct 16, 2004



then he will murmer "skibidi dop dop dop yes yes" and you will know that he's already gone

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Powerful Two-Hander
Mar 10, 2004

Mods please change my name to "Tooter Skeleton" TIA.


Achmed Jones posted:

then he will murmer "skibidi dop dop dop yes yes" and you will know that he's already gone

me: mom i think i may be in trouble for getting $1300 in american money on a donation website by saying I have leukemia please dont sing skibidi toilet
mom: skibidi dop dop dop yes yes
me, sobbing: please please i got a phone call from the canada revenus agency
my dad via speakerphone: dom dom yes yes

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