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H.P. Hovercraft posted:there's this big goofy lookin bird that comes by and fucks your wife I didn't say she was crazy I said she was loving goofy
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# ¿ Jan 16, 2021 03:36 |
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# ¿ Mar 29, 2024 09:14 |
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# ¿ Jan 16, 2021 05:20 |
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parenting is like small shrunken grapes because its literally just raisin kids
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# ¿ Jan 17, 2021 03:00 |
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once my kids were fighting over a bath mat.. so as a solution, I got from the cupboard a second, identical bathmat, and gave it to them so they could have one each. I was shocked when both lost interest in having exclusive access to the bath mat
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# ¿ Jan 17, 2021 03:45 |
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Truman Peyote posted:I don't understand how to interact with kids, am I destined to be a terrible father well your kids won’t know how to interact with you but you’ll both have years and years and years to get better at it
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# ¿ Jan 18, 2021 05:35 |
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Gentle Autist posted:i have kids op same except their mother, my wife, is more like an ex wife. her last boyf was 16 years younger than her. it didn’t work out lol
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# ¿ Jan 18, 2021 07:06 |
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raising babies isn’t hard. it’s hard work but not hard. and some kids obv harder than others but pretty much anyone with the right attitude will be fine it’s when you need to really start being a role model, that it’s a challenge, coz all the lessons in the world won’t change that your children largely learn from what you do more so than what you say, how you treat them and others. and this is the part where self sacrifice really kicks in, because it’s one thing to sacrifice sleep etc, but that doesn’t have to change who you are.. but if you see things in yourself you don’t respect and don’t want your kids to have, you have to actually do the hard work and change. it’s good tho.
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# ¿ Jan 18, 2021 10:34 |
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CRIP EATIN BREAD posted:i dont know anything about raising kids, but it seems easy. it is mate billions done it not even that long ago eskimo’s did it in conditions none of us could survive in and they only had dead animals to live off or the desert or syria or a million places more hostile than a modern insulated home with less food etc if anything we need to make it harder , get back to our roots
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# ¿ Jan 18, 2021 20:49 |
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Arcteryx Anarchist posted:I mean tbh if my wife’s coworkers are a good sample than going off how easy/laid back the average dad seems may be a bit off-base/dysfunctional idk what you’re trying to say here but paranoid parents create a vibe where non paranoid parents are effectively bad parents for “not caring”.. I just don’t like to live my life in fear lol. some people love it. shoeberto posted:I'm hoping that having an extra decade of life experience compared to when my parents had us will help with that. Because there is a lot of stuff I'm realizing I picked up from my parents that fuuuucked me up. having the right attitude is the key, you’re never too young to change and grow, and having kids shines a light on yourself. the problem is when people say “this is just who I am”, and basically carry on cycles of abuse or disseminating anxiety as if it’s reasonable etc.
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# ¿ Jan 18, 2021 22:26 |
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Arcteryx Anarchist posted:someone talking about there not being that much to parenting because a friend that's a parent was super active in a group text might just mean more that they're kind of riding high on the old "second shift" horse aah yep. those dads are lame. at least dads of yore were absent because they were earning coin not playing video games. some mum’s are like that too it’s just less common and much more acceptable.
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# ¿ Jan 19, 2021 01:24 |
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no matter how much you want to save your kids and have them learn from your mistakes, it really seems like they’re desperate to make their own mistakes hopefully just not involving fast motor vehicles or naughty drugs
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# ¿ Jan 19, 2021 03:20 |
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AnimeIsTrash posted:I'm spending my late 20s buying stupid poo poo I don't need much to the dismay of my partner/friends/family. Like the dude who used his stimulus check to buy a master chief suit. material possessions - the little known one true source of contentment
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# ¿ Jan 19, 2021 19:52 |
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do you guys constantly correct your kids bad use of english? some people say that it’s classism to judge people poorly due to poor english skills, and perhaps that’s true, but that is a different issue, and is no reason not to encourage high standards in your children english. at least imo. also politeness. people often tell me my kids are polite, but it’s nothing special, I just guess the overall standards out there are low? anyway I like to think other parents and teachers etc are more welcoming to kids that are politeness and show appreciation.
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# ¿ Jan 19, 2021 19:55 |
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slang isn’t poor english it’s just coping with the modern world bad english is “how much apples can I have?”
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# ¿ Jan 19, 2021 20:00 |
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hobbesmaster posted:what age are they? because replying “I don’t know, can you?” to a teenager when they ask if they can do something versus correcting a toddler’s words into a complete sentence are very different. yeah I’ve always thought that one was pedantic sometimes people say stuff that’s aggressively wrong, used to work with a girl who would say “I seen those people go into a shop” and it was horrible and she was also stubborn and hated change so nothing was gonna work there lol rotor posted:my kids dont really have a problem with bad grammar and idk if it's really a thing but i chalk this up to never babytalking at them when they were toddlers my ex wife still talks to them like they’re not peers, not so much sentence structure but just her tone. it’s weird. Arcteryx Anarchist posted:i swear a lot explicitly because my parents punished me for it as a child I told my kids they’re allowed to swear once a day 😂 in reality, being able to control your language depending on the company is extremely important, when you’ve got literal blue collar workers swearing constantly in the line at the pharmacy around all sorts of people including older ladies* you know they lack the ability to hold back when it matters *not that I have some kind of illusion, old ladies probably saw the end of the war and probably put up with a lot of domestic abuse etc, I doubt swearing is going to shock them, but there’s something to be said about respect I am sure.
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# ¿ Jan 19, 2021 22:12 |
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President Beep posted:i’ve mentioned before, possibly in this very thread, that we don’t make a big deal out of it when our seven year old swears. consequently, he hardly ever does it. my 9 year old hates swearing and tells me off lol
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# ¿ Jan 20, 2021 00:42 |
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Achmed Jones posted:ahh yes, in the line at the pharmacy. truly the one place one should never utter a cuss it’s just a good example of a general public place where acting in a manner that’s respectful of everyone around them is considered polite. weird that you kind of made it seem like it was unreasonable or something.
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# ¿ Jan 20, 2021 01:13 |
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what I find interesting about my kids socialising is that the demise of the family phone has meant kids barely ever call up each other, even now they have their own private phones
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# ¿ Jan 20, 2021 02:23 |
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young mother i work with is a paranoid and she argues that it’s coz everyone keeps their kids indoors that less kidnapping happens she loves to live in fear tho
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# ¿ Jan 20, 2021 03:07 |
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old people love to bemoan how the world has changed since their day but also basque in the freedom today gives them to be a massive pain in the rear end all of the people who left messages on the pharmacy message machine over xmas were old people who back in their day wouldn’t have had access to anything. it’s plain hipocrisy
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# ¿ Jan 20, 2021 04:23 |
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im probably more liberal with my kids than most parents. I just don't embrace paranoia. if you've taken reasonable precautions, then what's the problem? sometimes hosed up poo poo happens in the world, but most of the time it doesn't, and yolo
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# ¿ Jan 20, 2021 11:40 |
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i’m watching spider man 3 with my kids and there’s a pork roasting in the oven since i’m worthless I have not organised anything else for dinner.. well we started with garlic bread but nothing else garlic bread and roast pork for dinner
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# ¿ Jan 23, 2021 06:41 |
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Stringent posted:you don't have any kind of vegetable in the fridge? even just an onion or a carrot will give you some options. eh the meat was taking ages* to cook so they ate a carrot waiting around lol i don’t normally let my pathetic nature leave the meal so mono coloured *the meat thermometer let me down.. it ended up over cooked and a bit dry! fucker
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# ¿ Jan 23, 2021 07:54 |
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good poo poo one thing i wish i had done more and still wish i would do is even just a small touch of journaling. a couple of times i did, and i look back and it’s like wow we did some cool things that day? but most other days? probably cool but also forgot photos and videos and stuff are precious
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# ¿ Jan 23, 2021 08:25 |
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BangersInMyKnickers posted:miscarried over the weekend so I guess we're back to trying. what a kick in the teeth mate .. sorry to hear it . 😔
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# ¿ Jan 25, 2021 22:46 |
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nah it’s your own kids you don’t treat them like a coworker you want a good relationship with, you’re not subtly guiding them down a path. leading by example is paramount, but not sufficient. for example, I don’t just correct them, I inform them of the importance (classism exists whether they like it or not), but also tell them not to judge other people at the same time.
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# ¿ Feb 5, 2021 03:37 |
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I’ve worked with a few people who would say “I seen this person”, and yeah it immediately makes people think their education was worse than someone else’s. it’s like table manners or manners in general, politeness etc. it’s basically about having standards and trying to keep them high. not much is lost by keeping them high but a lot may not be gained if they weren’t there in the first place 🤷♂️
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# ¿ Feb 5, 2021 06:00 |
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President Beep posted:
i don disagree necessarily, out of all the things it’s very low down the list, but what’s worth considering is how others will view that kind of thing. whether or not it’s right. so I take somewhat of a pragmatic point of view, that it’s such a small thing that’s easy to change, but a future employer or something may judge it if it was wrong etc plus I also asked the boys yesterday and they told me it wasn’t a big deal to be corrected and that it helped them understand subtle differences if pointed out and that they’d rather be correct. lol
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# ¿ Feb 6, 2021 19:20 |
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President Beep posted:if either of my kids come out as gay or trans, etc. it won’t make any difference to me wrt our relationship. what I truly worry about is how the world would treat them. yeah for sure part of raising kids is awareness of the lovely world and it’s unfair rules, and helping them navigate it all hopefully ethically but not naively
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# ¿ Feb 7, 2021 02:28 |
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i thought it was gender non-specific lol
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# ¿ Feb 16, 2021 00:16 |
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H.P. Hovercraft posted:mostly what you can't really do as a parent anymore is drugs
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# ¿ Feb 17, 2021 03:29 |
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also, parenting toddlers is very different from 9+ my son asked me who pablo escobar is lol
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# ¿ Feb 17, 2021 03:31 |
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Stringent posted:my little one is about to turn 6 and i keep telling myself, just one more year, just one more year. at least until teenage years i reckon it just keeps getting better. conversations are more interesting, watching them get their own personalities and tastes. also more independence and can do more things for themselves. it’s good the one universal recommendation is get your kids doing chores early. they won’t begrudge it so much if it’s just normal and sets them up for adult life. me? i’m loving useless
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# ¿ Feb 17, 2021 06:57 |
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rotor posted:my wife fights me on this so hard and i will go to my grave never understanding it what side are you on? the reason I value it, is because I am the direct result of the opposite of it, and when I see people who did chores, I am jealous. people who aren't lazy pieces of poo poo who get poo poo done me? a lazy piece of poo poo who only gets the minimum done. its simply quite difficult to change a person who likes being lazy into a person who gets poo poo done, and raising kids to be people that get poo poo done, you protect them from this curse I spend half my life being lazy and the other half hating myself for never getting anything done. I hope for more for my kids tbh
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# ¿ Feb 17, 2021 09:41 |
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H.P. Hovercraft posted:if you don't teach your kids how to properly load a dishwasher or correctly operate a washing machine you are for sure loving up its almost like tho what you're trying to teach them is the habit of doing things that aren't just what they feel like doing. kids will naturally just thoughtlessly do what they want. you have to teach them, for example, to look around the room they are in, identify rubbish, and then pick it up and put it away. the lesson isnt the rubbish. the lesson is getting them to simply stop, observe, and think about what might need to be done. Stringent posted:teaching the kids to help with stuff is at least three times the work of doing it yourself, and once they learn how to do it they get bored with it and getting them up to do it is about twice the work of just doing it yourself. honestly I think theres a thing where kids copy what they see, for sure. and some parents talk to their kids in a respectful tone always (me), and sometimes parents talk to their kids in disrespectful ways (my gf), and you'll never guess which one of us has kids that dont talk back, and generally do what is asked of them. Gentle Autist posted:my wife is massively the product of never having done chores growing up intersting. see I know how to do most things, and in an ironic turn of events, when I got married, my wife said "im not going to be your mother", so I had to learn how to cook and clean and other things that traditionalyl women would have done. of course, as attempts at correcting for sexism often go, my wife never had any problem leaving me to be the only one who knew how to do traditionally man things, so when we separated I left with the full toolkit of skills, whereas she didn't. but that is still different from being raised with a kind of mentality that life requires effort. when it was the weekend my mum was like "just do whatever you want", and so the most important skill I never got was getting poo poo done. my gf on the other hand is a hard worker and even when she has time off she struggles to slow down. no side is perfect, but I would trade in my ability to relax for the skill to get anything done. i hate my job so much.. so why the gently caress dont i spend any time looking for a new one? piece of poo poo thats why I am mega in debt and have countless things around the house to sell so why dont I? piece of poo poo I pay $400 a month in credit card interest and yet still havent transferred the debt to a no interest card with a different bank.. why? you guessed it I am human dogshit of a person. my gf says "dont be so hard on yourself", but she cant see inside my brain to see why i am so deserved of self ridicule
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# ¿ Feb 17, 2021 10:41 |
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lol
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# ¿ Feb 17, 2021 10:46 |
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that’s mega self ownage it’s meant to go like this first gen : has to do loads of chores as kids. hated it so wants to save child from chores so does chores for child next gen : doesn’t do chores as kid, but works out this was bad, so makes kids do loads of chores so they don’t end up the same rinse repeat
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# ¿ Feb 18, 2021 00:31 |
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another widely employed approach.. do the job yourself, but making it absolutely clear to the child that they’re ungrateful shits and that you already work two jobs and have to clean up after them, and that it’s a massive burden etc etc
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# ¿ Feb 18, 2021 02:03 |
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Perplx posted:i did chores as a kid and im still lazy as poo poo it’s not strictly the chores and also everyone learns a bit different the problem is allowing the kids to not be concerned at all with what needs to happen. i mean even if they only had to direct a maid to do things, at least they’d get an idea what what needs to be done. similarly having to do the things with no idea for why
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# ¿ Feb 21, 2021 04:07 |
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# ¿ Mar 29, 2024 09:14 |
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lol she’s embracing the hygiene hypothesis
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# ¿ Feb 21, 2021 05:19 |