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Achmed Jones
Oct 16, 2004



im a parent

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Achmed Jones
Oct 16, 2004



hey dad, howve ya been?

Achmed Jones
Oct 16, 2004



echinopsis posted:

when you’ve got literal blue collar workers swearing constantly in the line at the pharmacy around all sorts of people including older ladies* you know they lack the ability to hold back when it matters

ahh yes, in the line at the pharmacy. truly the one place one should never utter a cuss

Stringent posted:

coming back to parenting age chat, i've come to two conclusions from mine and other parents i know experiences.

1) nature has made it where humans are biologically optimized to be parents in their 20s
2) societies have made it where humans are financially optimized to be parents in their 30s/40s

1 is absolutely true with respect to physical development, but i don't think it is with regards to mental development, and that's not just culturally-bound. it's way easier to be chill in your 30s just due to how hormones and brain development and stuff works out.

Achmed Jones
Oct 16, 2004



hobbesmaster posted:

a lot of current parenting guidance is emphasizing using complete sentences with proper grammar and not using sentence fragments for baby talk so there’s probably something to this

i dont think it's true. it makes a lot of sense intuitively speaking, but i am rather certain it's a fad. i say this because i (and some people i know) bought into it 100% and our admittedly small sample size is coming back "that poo poo doesn't matter".

that said, there's probably a lot of other good reasons to talk to your kid like a human instead of a puppy; i just don't think that whether you did baby talk at 12mos actually matters, especially compared to how they were talked to at 3, 4, etc.

Achmed Jones
Oct 16, 2004



BangersInMyKnickers posted:

miscarried over the weekend so I guess we're back to trying. what a kick in the teeth

gently caress man, really sorry to hear it. much love to you and yours

Achmed Jones
Oct 16, 2004



we took little jones to hawaii when he was 2 and it was actually pretty good.

the grandparents that were the primary catalyst for the trip were much more difficult than he was

Achmed Jones
Oct 16, 2004



gross

Achmed Jones
Oct 16, 2004



yeah it's true

Achmed Jones
Oct 16, 2004



yeah but he drank it on the way back so dont call it a win yet

Achmed Jones
Oct 16, 2004



Kenny Logins posted:

my kid thinks she can whistle but in reality she knows how to purse her lips and scream in a very high pitch

my kid also does this, except he doesn't scream - he just says "oooh-whee". i told him that that wasn't whistling, so he said "no, it's MOUSE WHISTLING" and well i cant really argue with that so now going "ooo-wheee!" as a way to get the dog's attention is A Thing in chateau jones

Achmed Jones
Oct 16, 2004



little jones did the monster voice thing too. he'd call the former poodle jones "bruh-bruh" for "brother," except he sounded like satan and it was awesome

Achmed Jones
Oct 16, 2004



holy poo poo stringent that sounds terrible. i'm very glad everything worked out ok.

President Beep posted:

I’m 100% ill equipped to handle things like that. I’ve always been a “fixer”, and that’s pretty the only way i know how to deal with things. oops! can’t fix the untimely death of a child!
im this

Stringent posted:

i think that you can't fix death because it's already fixed. i think that we live on in the minds of people that loved us. given that someone has to go away and there's no fixing that, what could be better?
but also this

i myself have a pretty healthy outlook on death. that doesnt mean im very good at supporting people with more, uh, damaging views on things, though. and if anything happened to little jones i would absolutely lose my loving mind, _especially_ if it was in any way, at all, preventable.

Achmed Jones
Oct 16, 2004



little jones is a very nervous lil dude but just kinda got over a lot of his doctor and dentist fears. i'm glad for that. yours might just get over it too!

Achmed Jones
Oct 16, 2004



Kenny Logins posted:

good advice.

check around for mold, too

Achmed Jones
Oct 16, 2004



i said mold not old

Achmed Jones
Oct 16, 2004



40 * reasonable_wage + insurance gets pretty big pretty fast! and then the capitalists take their cut if you're using a service. and so on

Achmed Jones
Oct 16, 2004



yeah ours was 2250 or 2500, something like that. now little jones is in public kindergarten and while some things are non-perfect the cost break is pretty nice!

Achmed Jones
Oct 16, 2004



people did not mourn death less back in the day. there's a Not So Different episode on this wrt the middle ages if you're interested

stringent is probably right about religion giving a framework for grief and coping

Achmed Jones
Oct 16, 2004



i can't even think of arthropod names that sound like names instead of insults.

ah yes these are our lovely children, roach, tarantula, and lobster

maybe "moth", "butterfly," "bee"

if they're doing katy/did june/bug may/fly etc they're cheating though

Achmed Jones
Oct 16, 2004



he tried to name his baby satan but hosed it up and now there's lil baby stan

Achmed Jones
Oct 16, 2004



checks out

Achmed Jones
Oct 16, 2004



kitten emergency posted:

babby had her sleep test last night and seemed to do very well, this is the first time in her life she’s gone 24 hours without supplemental oxygen.

much easier to handle a babby when they aren’t strapped to a pulse ox/hrm and nose cannula

:unsmith:

Achmed Jones
Oct 16, 2004



what is it a kids version of?

Achmed Jones
Oct 16, 2004



swaddling/sleep sacks was the only thing that really worked for little jones. otherwise he'd just lay there pulling his own hair and crying cause somebody was pulling his hair. put him in the boyrrito though and generally out like a light, until he decided it was time to get up. at which point he became houdini

Achmed Jones
Oct 16, 2004



yeah little jones is in bed by 730. even then he still starts to lose his poo poo sometimes during dinner. i can't imagine how he'd be if we let him stay up until 10 like some of the parents in our complex do. he's 5

Achmed Jones
Oct 16, 2004



wonderful! i'm so happy for you and your family!

Achmed Jones
Oct 16, 2004



nah telling them not to say it is fine. you obviously can't freak out or make a big deal but "when a kid does something wrong, under no circumstances should you let them know it was wrong" is pretty silly

Achmed Jones
Oct 16, 2004



bobbilljim posted:

this is more for v young kids like if you mention it they keep saying it. i know if i told my kid anyway not to say something that would be the only word he wants to say

ahh gotcha in that case i think i agree with ya

Achmed Jones
Oct 16, 2004



echi don't feel bad, we did all the "expose to different foods" stuff and little jones is picky a f. my parents exposed me to all sorts of food too, and i was picky as hell until i just snapped out of it around puberty. it's just how some kids are

it is funny that my picky kid will eat salmon and curry but usually won't eat a hamburger or hot dog. kids are strange to

Achmed Jones
Oct 16, 2004



when people are hungry enough they will eat most anything. i am not sure that that is the response that parents should go for

in general i think this avenue of conversation is gonna devolve real quick like

if you could not double or triple down on this echi that'd probably be for the best

Achmed Jones
Oct 16, 2004



well yeah there's a big gulf between being a short order cook and forcing the same meal for three days because you're trying to break your kid like an unruly horse

Achmed Jones
Oct 16, 2004



the best advice is to hold on and cross your fingers. every kid is different and responds differently to different things. and they change what they want very frequently. there's no magic strategy really. sometimes little jones was easy and sometimes he was hard and if you view the hard times as failures you're gonna have a rough time of it

Achmed Jones
Oct 16, 2004



presumably you moved to the city for a reason and while i don't think you have any rAtIoNaL rEaSoN to leave, some hosed up poo poo happened near that apartment and it makes sense to want to move just due to the association. if it won't cause too much hardship and will make you and yours happier, don't feel bad about allowing yourself to make decisions based on your existing feelings instead of a hyperrational set of ideal feelings. maybe give it a couple weeks, but if the feelings are there and you can swing it, no shame in bouncing.* much better IMO to just say "it was messed up and now this place reminds us of messed up things" than to lean into more prima facie "reasonable" reasons to move like her having a murderous child

anyway, i'm sorry that that happened. mental illness sucks. please don't feel bad about giving yourself time to process things.


* if she's able to scare off another tenant from beyond the grave that's pretty intense. seems like a pretty good way to honor her memory now that i think about it

Achmed Jones
Oct 16, 2004



that's true. she was probably going through a mental break which makes it all the more tragic. who knows how much of the evil was her illness and how much was her character, and who knows how to draw that line. it doesn't really matter though, she did awful things and "well she's sick" doesn't mean people have to pretend to miss not being victimized or w/e. at some point you're just medicalizing "being a bad person" and welp that's a dumb idea

Achmed Jones
Oct 16, 2004



dont worry so much about "resetting sleep training" and similar. at that age they're always either hitting a new milestone or regressing. no single thing is gonna feel permanent for a while - you just get a bunch of trend lines. im not saying you need to love that fact or whatever - but definitely dont stress about it, and most of all dont beat yourself up about it or think there's somethin wrong with the kid or w/e

Achmed Jones
Oct 16, 2004



President Beep posted:

lol, how are we all not dead

i am actually ooooOOOOOOooooOOOOOooo

Achmed Jones
Oct 16, 2004



bobbilljim posted:

i had chickenpox as a kid and then got shingles the first time when I was like 22 haha

lol same

Achmed Jones
Oct 16, 2004



vaccines are great, antibiotics are either #2 or tied for first.

germ theory in general has been pretty dang helpful

Achmed Jones
Oct 16, 2004



H.P. Hovercraft posted:

sterilizer's a waste of space imho just like those bottle warmers

just get a good bottle brush you'll be washing them by hand anyway

yeah.

don't read too much internet baby chat. everybody talks about all the awesome stuff their kid does, but usually don't mention the difficulties. we have them, we just tend not to talk about them. you'll have them, too. it will be ok. your kid might be really big, or really small, or a really early talker, or a really late talker, or have a speech impediment, or a weird toe that sticks out, or might never grow hair. don't worry unless the doctor says to worry. all the charts and parent forums and expectations in the world don't mean poo poo.

you will never be ready, but you are. it's fine. you and your family are enough for this child.

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Achmed Jones
Oct 16, 2004



im not gonna go into details but boy howdy little jones has not been taking the impending move well

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