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the sex ghost
Sep 6, 2009




Darren Ferguson being brought up in the Prem thread made me remember the time his dad recalled three of the loanees he'd sent to Preston, hours after the news broke that they'd sacked his useless son

When you remember a funny football thing that happened, post it in here. Maybe you're in the supermarket buying a cabbage and you remember Steve Bruce getting a cabbage thrown at him, and this world class quote:

quote:

“It was really heavy. When it hit the floor you felt the thud. Had it hit him on the head, or me on the head, it would have done some damage.

“It was as heavy as a house brick - it was a big one!”

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Jose
Jul 24, 2007




steve bruce being asked about and talking about his massive loving head in a post match press conference after fans were chanting about it

Gigi Galli
Sep 19, 2003

WORLD COMPETITVE VAPING CHAMPION 2017/18
~~PHAT CLOUDS~~
NASIOC MASSIVE
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Every time I see someone pulled over in their car I think of the time that M’baye Niang got stopped by the cops in Milano while driving without a license, and he pretended to be his teammate Bakaye Traore to try to get out of it. It didn’t work.

Jose
Jul 24, 2007




balotelli just driving into a womens prison

vyelkin
Jan 2, 2011

Jozy loves scoring like a fat kid loves eating cake.





the babelcopter

charles insomnia

jermaine pennant forgot his porsche at a spanish train station and so it just sat there for like years

paddyboat
Feb 20, 2013

Maxi, Maxi Rodriguez
Run down the wing for me

part time car salesman, kolo toure

vyelkin
Jan 2, 2011

Jozy loves scoring like a fat kid loves eating cake.





yaya toure wanting to leave man city because his birthday cake wasn't good enough

the sex ghost
Sep 6, 2009




Ross Mccormack missing a Villa training session because his electric gates were broken. Steve Bruce asked if he, a professional athlete, couldn't just climb over them. He said no

sticksy
May 26, 2004
keeping austin weird





Nap Ghost

This is a very good thread idea, op.

Part of the reason I love this dumb sport is the insanely bad decisions made by virtually everyone involved so a partial list off the top of my head:
  • Santiago Cañizares dropping a bottle of aftershave on his foot, severing a tendon and forcing him to miss the Spanish WC squad
  • Joe Cole getting caught shagging someone’s gf and having to jump out a window without his trainers and probably most of his clothes
  • Joe Cole being referred to by Steven Gerrard as “technically as good as Messi”
  • Ashley Cole writing in his biography about shouting on the phone to his agent about the wages Arsenal had proposed in a contract renewal
  • Jermaine Pennant being quite thick and leaving a Porsche 911 forever at a Spanish airport
  • Mes Que Un Club fans throwing a pig’s head at Figo taking a corner upon his return to the Nou Camp
  • Stephen Ireland’s dead gran
  • Stephen Ireland’s Range Rover wheels
  • AdL going on an epic rant then hopping on the back of a scooter https://youtu.be/SuUKUDBxZtc
  • John Terry slipping in CL final penalty shootout, crying in the rain
  • John Terry, unable to play in CL title but wore his kit underneath his clothes, which he wore in photos when they won it
  • John Terry and his transvestite”doppelgänger”
  • John Terry getting knocked the gently caress out trying to head a low bouncing ball like a salmon swimming upstream then getting kicked very hard
  • Jozy Altitore playing in England
  • Everything about Brazil losing to Germany at the WC in their country, but especially the over-the-top tribute to Neymar who hadn’t actually died (unfortunately) but missed out due to a back injury
  • de Gea missing out on a transfer to Madrid due to fax machine problems
  • purple dildo in the ear on transfer day
  • Arsene Wenger’s battles with his mortal enemy, his jacket zipper
  • Newcastle fan punching a police horse
  • Mascherano and Tevez transfer to West Ham, bought by Icelandic bankers, which collapsed miserably during Financial Crisis
  • Tevez living in England for 10+ years and never learned English
  • Pochettino as Southampton manager pretending he didn’t speak English so he wouldn’t have to deal with the press as much
  • A smiling Glen Johnson popping out through a banner and Luis Suarez t-shirts the whole Liverpool team wore
  • Good Lad Peter Crouch when asked in an interview what he would be if he wasn’t a footballer, responding “a virgin”
  • Peter Crouch tweets about spending time with family and responding to a guy wanking to his wife https://twitter.com/petercrouch/status/876846713163718656?s=21
  • Ed Woodward, Transfer Genius
  • Arjen Robben doing the same loving move for 20+ years and everyone knew what it was yet no defender was ever able to really stop it
  • Robinho thinking he had transferred to Chelsea when he was in fact at City
  • Drip Doctors
  • Adebayor sliding across the pitch vs Arsenal, crowd loses their mind
  • Andy Carroll’s transfer to Liverpool
  • Andy Carroll’s MySpace page
  • Andy Carroll injuring himself yet again by falling off a barstool
  • Arsene Wenger’s Suarez bid

I’m sure I can recall loads more since my brain exclusively holds useless info like this instead of my children’s birthdays.

GreatestLurker
Sep 12, 2011


the san siro scooter

Jose
Jul 24, 2007




a bird making GBS threads in ashley youngs mouth

trem_two
Oct 22, 2002

it is better if you keep saying I'm fat, as I will continue to score goals

Fun Shoe

Barry Shitpeas
Dec 17, 2003

there is no need
to be upset

Winner POTM July 2013


stay dench or get frimponged

trem_two
Oct 22, 2002

it is better if you keep saying I'm fat, as I will continue to score goals

Fun Shoe

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sd38KUjmOho

vyelkin
Jan 2, 2011

Jozy loves scoring like a fat kid loves eating cake.





crouchie's having his nachos

trem_two
Oct 22, 2002

it is better if you keep saying I'm fat, as I will continue to score goals

Fun Shoe

I can't remember when or where it happened (Anfield?) but there was a time when some player went flying over the ad hoarding into the front row, and an old man sitting there just has a pleasant chuckle and pulls out his camera to snap some photos of the player lying there. That always makes me lol.

E: oh wait here it is

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E3eywSO-_0w

sticksy
May 26, 2004
keeping austin weird





Nap Ghost

There's a whole genre of food-related ones:
- Crouchie having his nachos
- Giroud Twix in the bum
- Pizzagate in the tunnel
- Dodgy food for Spurs's team before last game of the season
- Rooney's diet in general, plus a pack of fags
- Fat Sam and his pint of wine

e: drat you, vyelkin

the sex ghost
Sep 6, 2009




Socrates being told by his doctor that he'd have to give up smoking to keep playing football so he immediately gave up football. Also Socrates turning out for Garforth Town aged 50

trem_two
Oct 22, 2002

it is better if you keep saying I'm fat, as I will continue to score goals

Fun Shoe

sticksy posted:

There's a whole genre of food-related ones:
- Crouchie having his nachos
- Giroud Twix in the bum
- Pizzagate in the tunnel
- Dodgy food for Spurs's team before last game of the season
- Rooney's diet in general, plus a pack of fags
- Fat Sam and his pint of wine

e: drat you, vyelkin

paddyboat
Feb 20, 2013

Maxi, Maxi Rodriguez
Run down the wing for me

watching fulham, so naturally I’m thinking about the cursed michael jackson statue (which apparently now resides in the National Football Museum for some reason)

trem_two
Oct 22, 2002

it is better if you keep saying I'm fat, as I will continue to score goals

Fun Shoe

quote:

Quizzed about his disciplinary record throughout his playing days, Terry was asked to repeat evidence that he had been sent off four times in his career. “Can you say, please, four times?” asked his QC, George Carter-Stephenson. “Please, please, please, please,” Terry responded.

sticksy
May 26, 2004
keeping austin weird





Nap Ghost

trem_two posted:

I can't remember when or where it happened (Anfield?) but there was a time when some player went flying over the ad hoarding into the front row, and an old man sitting there just has a pleasant chuckle and pulls out his camera to snap some photos of the player lying there. That always makes me lol.

Found it!

the sex ghost
Sep 6, 2009





trem_two
Oct 22, 2002

it is better if you keep saying I'm fat, as I will continue to score goals

Fun Shoe


sticksy
May 26, 2004
keeping austin weird





Nap Ghost


Thank you, that's what I immediately thought of but I couldn't find it to save my life


Class.

trem_two
Oct 22, 2002

it is better if you keep saying I'm fat, as I will continue to score goals

Fun Shoe

CyberPingu
Sep 15, 2013



Sky Sports reporter getting slapped by a dildo on transfer deadline day.

Patrice Evra deepthroating raw chicken .

Jose
Jul 24, 2007




newcastle supporter celebrating a goal by gettting his dick out and spinning it

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oSZyWIZxwyI

trem_two
Oct 22, 2002

it is better if you keep saying I'm fat, as I will continue to score goals

Fun Shoe

Galatasaray drove a tractor all over their half of the pitch before an abandoned CL match against Juve was resumed, which made it impossible for Juve to actually attack at all, and Juve ended up getting knocked out of the CL as a result. Which was NOT FUNNY!!! at the time but now is because lol Conte.


Gigi Galli
Sep 19, 2003

WORLD COMPETITVE VAPING CHAMPION 2017/18
~~PHAT CLOUDS~~
NASIOC MASSIVE
~~MONSTER ENERGY~~



Mexes as a professional footballer is hilarious.

If anyone has the Icardi dressed as an American pilgrim pic that is also very funny

CyberPingu
Sep 15, 2013



"What does the Gaffer call you?"

"Carl Cort"

trem_two
Oct 22, 2002

it is better if you keep saying I'm fat, as I will continue to score goals

Fun Shoe

Gigi Galli posted:

Mexes as a professional footballer is hilarious.

If anyone has the Icardi dressed as an American pilgrim pic that is also very funny



Also, the entire Icardi/Wanda/Maxi situation

https://twitter.com/CursedFootball/status/1349362385379852288

vyelkin
Jan 2, 2011

Jozy loves scoring like a fat kid loves eating cake.





A bird poo poo in Ashley Cole's mouth
Gary Lineker poo poo his pants in the middle of a match

CyberPingu
Sep 15, 2013



vyelkin posted:

A bird poo poo in Ashley Cole's mouth
Gary Lineker poo poo his pants in the middle of a match

Wasn't it Ashley Young?

paddyboat
Feb 20, 2013

Maxi, Maxi Rodriguez
Run down the wing for me

vyelkin
Jan 2, 2011

Jozy loves scoring like a fat kid loves eating cake.





Oh poo poo yeah I was thinking Ashley Young and wrote Ashley Cole by mistake

CyberPingu
Sep 15, 2013



vyelkin posted:

Oh poo poo yeah I was thinking Ashley Young and wrote Ashley Cole by mistake

It's ok Mr Robson

crazyvanman
Dec 31, 2010


My nerdy friend, aged 15, getting pushed over the wall* onto the pitch by a celebrating crowd** after we scored in the 92nd minute to go through to the next round of the FA Trophy, coming from 2-0 down to win 3-2 against a higher league team. Security thought he was starting a pitch invasion and rushed over to fight him off

*the wall was 2ft tall
** all 25 of us

UnfurledSails
Sep 1, 2011



Pascal Nouma "a private moment of joy"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SaPx_YrAE2Y

He got his contract cancelled and effectively retired after this.

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FullLeatherJacket
Dec 30, 2004

Chiunque può essere Luther Blissett, semplicemente adottando il nome Luther Blissett



eternally, big dave whelan holding a press conference to try and get malky mackay out of trouble for doing a racism, where he announced that actually it was ok because jews really do love money

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