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trem_two
Oct 22, 2002

it is better if you keep saying I'm fat, as I will continue to score goals
Fun Shoe

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trem_two
Oct 22, 2002

it is better if you keep saying I'm fat, as I will continue to score goals
Fun Shoe
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sd38KUjmOho

trem_two
Oct 22, 2002

it is better if you keep saying I'm fat, as I will continue to score goals
Fun Shoe
I can't remember when or where it happened (Anfield?) but there was a time when some player went flying over the ad hoarding into the front row, and an old man sitting there just has a pleasant chuckle and pulls out his camera to snap some photos of the player lying there. That always makes me lol.

E: oh wait here it is

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E3eywSO-_0w

trem_two
Oct 22, 2002

it is better if you keep saying I'm fat, as I will continue to score goals
Fun Shoe

sticksy posted:

There's a whole genre of food-related ones:
- Crouchie having his nachos
- Giroud Twix in the bum
- Pizzagate in the tunnel
- Dodgy food for Spurs's team before last game of the season
- Rooney's diet in general, plus a pack of fags
- Fat Sam and his pint of wine

e: drat you, vyelkin

trem_two
Oct 22, 2002

it is better if you keep saying I'm fat, as I will continue to score goals
Fun Shoe

quote:

Quizzed about his disciplinary record throughout his playing days, Terry was asked to repeat evidence that he had been sent off four times in his career. “Can you say, please, four times?” asked his QC, George Carter-Stephenson. “Please, please, please, please,” Terry responded.

trem_two
Oct 22, 2002

it is better if you keep saying I'm fat, as I will continue to score goals
Fun Shoe

trem_two
Oct 22, 2002

it is better if you keep saying I'm fat, as I will continue to score goals
Fun Shoe

trem_two
Oct 22, 2002

it is better if you keep saying I'm fat, as I will continue to score goals
Fun Shoe
Galatasaray drove a tractor all over their half of the pitch before an abandoned CL match against Juve was resumed, which made it impossible for Juve to actually attack at all, and Juve ended up getting knocked out of the CL as a result. Which was NOT FUNNY!!! at the time but now is because lol Conte.


trem_two
Oct 22, 2002

it is better if you keep saying I'm fat, as I will continue to score goals
Fun Shoe

Gigi Galli posted:

Mexes as a professional footballer is hilarious.

If anyone has the Icardi dressed as an American pilgrim pic that is also very funny



Also, the entire Icardi/Wanda/Maxi situation

https://twitter.com/CursedFootball/status/1349362385379852288

trem_two
Oct 22, 2002

it is better if you keep saying I'm fat, as I will continue to score goals
Fun Shoe
https://twitter.com/NoContextLaLiga/status/1350463454470156288

trem_two
Oct 22, 2002

it is better if you keep saying I'm fat, as I will continue to score goals
Fun Shoe
That Pulisic GQ photo shoot that came out today reminded me of this

trem_two
Oct 22, 2002

it is better if you keep saying I'm fat, as I will continue to score goals
Fun Shoe
Every Harry Redknapp interview conducted like this

trem_two
Oct 22, 2002

it is better if you keep saying I'm fat, as I will continue to score goals
Fun Shoe

Frankston posted:

Here's the photo!



Brilliant

trem_two
Oct 22, 2002

it is better if you keep saying I'm fat, as I will continue to score goals
Fun Shoe

trem_two
Oct 22, 2002

it is better if you keep saying I'm fat, as I will continue to score goals
Fun Shoe
Actually I found the Jozy thread and just randomly was clicking on various pages and I come bearing gifts











https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HsTCxPdhVxc
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oXDHRpsuwio

trem_two fucked around with this message at 02:46 on Jan 24, 2021

trem_two
Oct 22, 2002

it is better if you keep saying I'm fat, as I will continue to score goals
Fun Shoe

JollyBoyJohn posted:

When Rangers FC got slapped down 3 divisions for being cheating bastards and had to spent a few years playing Peterhead and Elgin City

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hv26_9wjWhg

trem_two
Oct 22, 2002

it is better if you keep saying I'm fat, as I will continue to score goals
Fun Shoe

Bundy posted:

Vaguely remembering a Liverpool staffer going after a fake agent on Twitter or something...scouseposters?

the tale of Jen Chang

trem_two
Oct 22, 2002

it is better if you keep saying I'm fat, as I will continue to score goals
Fun Shoe

Her Dryer posted:

Wasn't the rumour that the Madrid scouts thought he was a defensive midfielder because they had mistaken him for Lee Carsley

quote:

“Real Madrid wanted to sign Antonio Valencia but Wigan wanted £25m, which is like £80m in today’s market,” Le Mée says. “The second option was Faubert, the manager’s choice. Juande Ramos had been at Tottenham the year before and Julien played two fantastic games against them for West Ham. That was the reason he got this chance – sometimes miracles can happen.”

From an article by The Guardian last year

trem_two
Oct 22, 2002

it is better if you keep saying I'm fat, as I will continue to score goals
Fun Shoe
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GfC_eLhxOsY&t=36s

trem_two
Oct 22, 2002

it is better if you keep saying I'm fat, as I will continue to score goals
Fun Shoe
That time that Italy let Luke Shaw score like 1 minute into a Euro final

trem_two
Oct 22, 2002

it is better if you keep saying I'm fat, as I will continue to score goals
Fun Shoe

African AIDS cum posted:

How fitting he's in the ground he ended his career in

These days he spends his time where he ended that builder's career

trem_two
Oct 22, 2002

it is better if you keep saying I'm fat, as I will continue to score goals
Fun Shoe
When Van Gaal brought a binder full of stats and pass diagrams to prove to all the journos that United weren't just hoofing it up there.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sh9VQ7sjQPo

"You go to Big Sam and maybe he can give you a good interpretation"

trem_two
Oct 22, 2002

it is better if you keep saying I'm fat, as I will continue to score goals
Fun Shoe

Man, I totally forgot about that one.

trem_two
Oct 22, 2002

it is better if you keep saying I'm fat, as I will continue to score goals
Fun Shoe

blue footed boobie posted:

I had forgotten about this, and this seems to be the most comprehensive retelling i can find of it

https://deadspin.com/remember-when-a-chelsea-player-waggled-his-dick-at-grie-1730110370

lol

Someone should interview that barkeep and the regulars for a 20th anniversary piece

trem_two
Oct 22, 2002

it is better if you keep saying I'm fat, as I will continue to score goals
Fun Shoe
Remember when Greaseman paid homage to his favorite non footie sport

trem_two
Oct 22, 2002

it is better if you keep saying I'm fat, as I will continue to score goals
Fun Shoe
There's some unfortunate news today about the family of former Palermo owner Maurizo Zamparini, but for some reason it triggered a memory of when this guy tried to buy the club from Zamparini but it all fell apart

trem_two
Oct 22, 2002

it is better if you keep saying I'm fat, as I will continue to score goals
Fun Shoe
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=1LwL-xw7Zyk&feature=youtu.be

trem_two
Oct 22, 2002

it is better if you keep saying I'm fat, as I will continue to score goals
Fun Shoe
watching the Vitesse keeper red for some reason reminded me of this
https://twitter.com/FourFourTwo/status/1143430991408750597

trem_two
Oct 22, 2002

it is better if you keep saying I'm fat, as I will continue to score goals
Fun Shoe

the sex ghost posted:

Saw an article about Gaddafis son running for president of Libya and wondered if it was former Perugia and Udinese superstar Al-Saadi Gaddafi. Turned out it was a different son but lmao:

There was a good article about him a couple years back https://thelab.bleacherreport.com/dreams-of-a-dictator-s-son/

trem_two
Oct 22, 2002

it is better if you keep saying I'm fat, as I will continue to score goals
Fun Shoe
Radio presenter: “Hello Paul!”

Gazza: “Hello!”

Radio presenter: “Good evening – you are live on Real Radio. I just wonder… Tell us about Raoul Moat. The Raoul Moat that you know.”

Gazza: “Raoul Moat, er Raoul, I knew him years ago. He used to be a bouncer in Newcastle. I knew him a lot of years since I was a young kid, when I played for Newcastle [United]. He was like a gentleman – someone must have wound him up or done summat, right. And all of a sudden I just listened to the radio right, I mean on TV news. Obviously he’s killed someone and he’s shot two. Right?”

Radio presenter: “Well…”

Gazza: “…Doesn’t matter. He’s killed someone. Which is not nice, really. Obviously he must have been on drugs, um, and he’s shot two people, right. Now I’ve heard on the news that obviously the drugs must have worn off. Now he’s willing to give in. Right?”

Radio presenter: “I think we have to point out that…”

Gazza: “…No, please, get a hold of me, no, hear me out… He’s a lovely bloke – I know that – so at the end of the day I think he’s frightened in case, um, he’s put his gun down, I know for a fact he will… He put his gun down but I think he’s scared in case the police shoot him and kill him. The drugs have worn off. All he wants to do is surrender. And at the end of the day when you shoot someone, I think, and er, shoot, kill someone and shoot two others… You may get, what? Twelve days, twelve years, twelve…”

Radio presenter: “Paul, Paul, Paul… Well we don’t know about that exactly. But just tell us, what would you say…”

Gazza: “Twelve years, could be about six years and he’s out. He’s a good lad.”

Radio presenter: “If he could hear a message from you, Gazza, what would you say to him tonight?”

Gazza: “Well I think the police get hold… Listen, I drove from Newcastle in a taxi to Rothbury. Cost a lot of money. I brought a dressing gown for him, um, a big jacket, I brought some chicken, some bread… I know you’re going to love this one: I brought him a can of lager, I brought him a fishing rod cause I heard he’s by the river. And I brought a fishing rod too – we’ll fish together, I’ll have a chat with him, just talk and… ’cause I think I’m the only man… I think I can help him through this cause I’ve…”

Second radio presenter: “So Gazza, are you going to go to the police and say, please, let me, let me, let me help you here? I know Raoul Moat. I can help you negotiate. I can help you sort the situation out.

Gazza: “I’ve just spoke to the police.”

Radio presenter: “What did they say Gazza?”

Gazza: “That he, well er, er, well… Terry was next to us taking photos and the copper went, police, and I said ‘Listen, I know the guy, he’s a nice guy,’ I said er… ‘I want to go through, where you have everything all cordoned off, I want to get through there,’ but the police wouldn’t let us so that was a waste of time saying, ‘Oh, I knew him’ because they were being frightened he might shoot me, you know? But I told them, ‘He will not shoot me.'”

Radio presenter: “Well, it’s a dangerous situation though, Gazza, isn’t it?”

Gazza: “Hey I’m not scared – I’ve just been in a car crash, I’ve just hit the wall at 90 miles per hour. I survived that, I’m sure I can survive a bullet. Knowing my luck he’d probably miss.”

Radio presenter: “So what you’re saying is that you want to go in there, you want to help negotiate?”

Gazza: “… The police know I want to go in there. I’ve got a jacket, I’ve got a dressing gown, I’ve got some chicken, I’ve got some bread, I’ve got a can of lager, I’ve got a fishing rod, um, I’ve got my fishing rod, I’m willing to sit down, to shout, ‘Moaty, it’s Gazza!’ All I want to shout is ‘Moaty, it’s Gazza, where are you?’ and I guarantee he will shout his name out, ‘I’m here!’ and me and him could sit and chat, have a little bit of fishing and all I’ll tell him, ‘Moaty, listen…'”

Radio presenter: “And you think you could sort it out?”

Second radio presenter: “So if you like a man-to-man chat, with him, two pals on a riverbank?”

Gazza: “Yeah, yeah, two friends on a riverbank from Newcastle and all those years we’ll say is ‘Why don’t you just, you know, put the gun away, throw it in the river’ and say ‘Look Moaty, the worst is… the worst you might get a 12-year stretch, the police are not going to kill you,’ because I know he’s willing to give in now. Whatever he was on has worn off. I mean the police are not going to kill you, he might do a 12-year stretch, obviously for killing someone, which is not very nice, obviously. He did it cause he was high on drugs, probably, right?”

trem_two
Oct 22, 2002

it is better if you keep saying I'm fat, as I will continue to score goals
Fun Shoe
It was you, the fans

trem_two
Oct 22, 2002

it is better if you keep saying I'm fat, as I will continue to score goals
Fun Shoe

Wazzerphuk posted:

That time Chelsea subbed off Mendy for Kepa in the 120th minute of the league cup final, and not only did he fail to save any of the eleven penalties he faced, but then spooned his one 9000 miles over the bar, losing Chelsea the final

trem_two
Oct 22, 2002

it is better if you keep saying I'm fat, as I will continue to score goals
Fun Shoe
de Roon is a top top poster

trem_two
Oct 22, 2002

it is better if you keep saying I'm fat, as I will continue to score goals
Fun Shoe
Actually that was just a rando that ran up to him to take a picture. Szcz hadn't posted on social media for 2 years at that point but felt compelled to break his silence (but then deleted it after he took some flak for his response)

trem_two
Oct 22, 2002

it is better if you keep saying I'm fat, as I will continue to score goals
Fun Shoe
https://twitter.com/oilysailor/status/1275733279371640833

trem_two
Oct 22, 2002

it is better if you keep saying I'm fat, as I will continue to score goals
Fun Shoe

Butterfly Valley posted:

This kid is now 27 and owns a £40million vodka business

oh, you weren't kidding :shepface:

trem_two
Oct 22, 2002

it is better if you keep saying I'm fat, as I will continue to score goals
Fun Shoe
I can't sit through that Owen video, the cringe is too strong

trem_two
Oct 22, 2002

it is better if you keep saying I'm fat, as I will continue to score goals
Fun Shoe

sticksy posted:

I’d forgotten his stint at Palace. Man, he has managed a lot of clubs in England.

Next up: Chelsea

trem_two
Oct 22, 2002

it is better if you keep saying I'm fat, as I will continue to score goals
Fun Shoe

I lmao every time

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trem_two
Oct 22, 2002

it is better if you keep saying I'm fat, as I will continue to score goals
Fun Shoe
That time when Juve were going to sign Luis Suarez, but needed him to get an EU passport because they didn't have any free slots for non-EU players, so Fabio Paratici arranged for Suarez to take a sham Italian citizenship test and he was caught on camera getting all the answers handed to him by the test administrators. He didn't speak a word of Italian but "passed" an Italian language exam.

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