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Edward Mass
Sep 14, 2011

𝅘𝅥𝅮 I wanna go home with the armadillo
Good country music from Amarillo and Abilene
Friendliest people and the prettiest women you've ever seen
𝅘𝅥𝅮


ROLL CALL OF CURRENT CHAMPIONS

Impact World Champion: Rich Swann
Rich Swann felt disrespected by AEW's Kenny Omega, who waltzed into Swann's territory and proclaimed to be the REAL World Champion. They were involved in a six-man tag, and Omega pinned Swann. What does this mean?!?!? Oh, and Moose is the number one contender, having been awarded it by Swann in exchange for not Pillmanizing his good friend Willie Mack.

Impact World Tag Team Champions: The Good Brothers
Doc Gallows and Karl Anderson have revealed their true colors, allying themselves with Kenny Omega. You may have seen the three of them win a match this week. The Motor City Machine Guns are obvious challengers, although Alex Shelly couldn't make it to Hard to Kill due to unspecified circumstances.

Impact X-Division Champion: Manik
Manik is TJP under a mask/face paint. After defending the X-Division Championship against both Rohit Raju and Chris Bey, Super X-Cup winner Ace Austin waits in the wings.

Impact Knockouts Champion: Deonna Purrazzo
The best wrestler signed to Impact Wrestling continues to wrestle good. With Taya Valkyrie submitted, my best guess is a feud with Rosemary, or possibly "Susan".

Impact Knockouts Tag Team Champions: Fire and Flava
As I had predicted the moment these titles were announced to come back, the team of Kiera Hogan and Tasha Steelz are the re-inaugural champions. There are plenty of women who could challenge them, including some that haven't signed with Impact Wrestling yet.

NEXT PAY-PER-VIEW EVENT: REBELLION
April 24th, presumably at Skyway Studios due to COVID-19 still being a thing.

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Ganso Bomb
Oct 24, 2005

turn it all around

How was the show? Worth buying for someone who doesn't watch Impact regularly and finds the weekly TV weirdly boring and lifeless (largely due to commentary and the empty arena)?

Pylons
Mar 16, 2009

Ganso Bomb posted:

How was the show? Worth buying for someone who doesn't watch Impact regularly and finds the weekly TV weirdly boring and lifeless (largely due to commentary and the empty arena)?
I didn't buy it but probably wouldn't have regretted it. Striker still isn't great but he's miles better than Josh and they added some crowd noise.

DuhSal
Aug 16, 2004

I will, brother. I promise.



Pillbug

Ganso Bomb posted:

How was the show? Worth buying for someone who doesn't watch Impact regularly and finds the weekly TV weirdly boring and lifeless (largely due to commentary and the empty arena)?

I watched it and thought it was pretty entertaining. The matches themselves were pretty good, highlights being the triple threat and main imo. Worst thing was the commentary as it wasn't all that great most of the night but at least they're earnest so I looked passed it even thou they did gently caress up numerous times. Mainly Striker was bad. D'Lo was okay. Overall good entertaining wrestling but nothing truly special.

DuhSal fucked around with this message at 02:51 on Jan 18, 2021

flashy_mcflash
Feb 7, 2011

Ganso Bomb posted:

How was the show? Worth buying for someone who doesn't watch Impact regularly and finds the weekly TV weirdly boring and lifeless (largely due to commentary and the empty arena)?

40 is kind of a lot for that show. I think most/all of the best stuff will be posted by impact on their YouTube by the end of the week. The last match is absolutely great though.

flashy_mcflash
Feb 7, 2011

Ethan isn't happy with how the Karate Man match was presented.


quote:

I’m going to take a full blown break from social media. I’ll be staying active on my personal Patreon as much as I can & probably in this group too cuz I love the fig life & u guys. Xoxox. But man .... last night sucked. I’m so embarrassed with how IMPACT! lazily edited that segment last night & forced it to be a joke. I felt the thought of the same guys fighting each other was comedy enough & the more serious we took it the better the reaction would be. But cuz I left the company, they lied to my face & just did what they wanted the whole time. I’m sorry if any of my fans paid for that PPV & felt cheated. I honestly feel the free version I gave away was made with more love, care & attention to detail. Sadly I had no control over the creative or the final product & the editor refused to send it to me beforehand ....

so I saw it live with you guys & was surrounded by family. All scratching their heads at that high school project level delivery on a PPV. I pray ppl know I didn’t edit that hot garbage. I actually begged IMPACT! Not to even have Karate man on tv. I only wanted it for my YouTube channel. But ... we don’t write the shows. We just get the scripts & do our best. Idk what else to say. Breaks my heart this company refuses to respect its talent or it’s fan base on a regular basis. I tried. Oh well! Life goes on. That door is closed. Now let’s focus on what’s next. Hope you’re all well. I love all of you for supporting me & helping promote my projects. Because without you guys, karate man wouldn’t have been anything haha. I’m gonna just focus on the good that came of him for my social media & my personal channels. He’s gone now & May he live on in GOOD videos edited by the person who created him. Not stolen by a greedy company trying to capitalize on someone else’s hard work & creativity. Sorry if this comes off so negative. I know I’m usually a positive light for my fans ... but today, I need to just be honest. I was lied to. I was hurt. I was disrespected. And I need a break from it all.” Love Julian


https://www.cagesideseats.com/impact-wrestling/2021/1/17/22236452/ethan-page-upset-at-impact-hard-to-kill-match-editing

blast0rama
Aug 13, 2003

Tingly.


Dude’s gonna love WWE then...

Huntman
Apr 22, 2010


Ganso Bomb posted:

How was the show? Worth buying for someone who doesn't watch Impact regularly and finds the weekly TV weirdly boring and lifeless (largely due to commentary and the empty arena)?

Commentary wasn't great, but D'Lo was inoffensive and the occasional Striker's high was better than Matthews'. Actually thought Striker did a pretty solid job in the main event. The show was also helped out a bit by adding some artificial crowd sound, not quite 2000s SmackDown bad, but a nice enough touch.

thatguyclint
Apr 11, 2005
See, I didn't know that...ducks eat for free at Subway.

Huntman posted:

Commentary wasn't great, but D'Lo was inoffensive and the occasional Striker's high was better than Matthews'. Actually thought Striker did a pretty solid job in the main event. The show was also helped out a bit by adding some artificial crowd sound, not quite 2000s SmackDown bad, but a nice enough touch.

The added crowd noise absolutely added to the show...except when they had the "This is Awesome" chants which sounded like 4-5 people chanting it.

flashy_mcflash
Feb 7, 2011

The whereabouts of Matt Cardona, answered in shirt form

https://twitter.com/TheMattCardona/status/1351562134338101248?s=19

Edward Mass
Sep 14, 2011

𝅘𝅥𝅮 I wanna go home with the armadillo
Good country music from Amarillo and Abilene
Friendliest people and the prettiest women you've ever seen
𝅘𝅥𝅮

blast0rama posted:

Dude’s gonna love WWE then...

I mean, Page's contract was coming up and he planned on going to WWE. What's the worst that would happen if he said no, Impact Wrestling fires him?

Ganso Bomb
Oct 24, 2005

turn it all around


Really building on the AJ Styles t-shirt legacy with a shirt that, at first glance, reads "CUM HERE"

Davros1
Jul 19, 2007

You've got to admit, you are kind of implausible



https://twitter.com/MATTHARDYBRAND/status/1351702701877301248?s=20


Hardy and Private Party are on Impact

karmicknight
Aug 21, 2011
But Matt Hardy was just on AEW Dark!

smikey
May 22, 2004
It's not a hootenanny, it's an extravsganza!
Man, Matt Hardy's making so much money, 50% of Private Party's earnings tonight because it's a third party show, then 30% tomorrow on Dynamite, along with 100% of his own, that's like 230% money

MJeff
Jun 2, 2011

THE LIAR
lmao that was stupid and Striker is making it worse.

Dacap
Jul 8, 2008

I've been involved in a number of cults, both as a leader and a follower.

You have more fun as a follower. But you make more money as a leader.



I’m not an Impact watcher normally, why does Tommy Dreamer have the same haircut as Rey from Star Wars?

MJeff
Jun 2, 2011

THE LIAR
What the gently caress is this poo poo.

Tato
Jun 19, 2001

DIRECTIVE 236: Promote pro-social values
James Storm is back again. Ok.

smikey
May 22, 2004
It's not a hootenanny, it's an extravsganza!

Dacap posted:

I’m not an Impact watcher normally, why does Tommy Dreamer have the same haircut as Rey from Star Wars?

Quarantine lockdowns?

edit: I liked the exchanges about that Bravo getting shot ending. Wonder where Taya's gonna end up

Huntman
Apr 22, 2010


Jerry Lynn :)

MJeff
Jun 2, 2011

THE LIAR
Tony Khan refuses to be an on-screen character in AEW, gladly becomes one in Impact. :lol:

smikey
May 22, 2004
It's not a hootenanny, it's an extravsganza!

MJeff posted:

Tony Khan refuses to be an on-screen character in AEW, gladly becomes one in Impact. :lol:

Not his show, and he gets to play an weedy, annoying rival

Pylons
Mar 16, 2009

This is a fun match.

MJeff
Jun 2, 2011

THE LIAR
lol oh boy, Tony and Lynn goin' heel.

Huntman
Apr 22, 2010


Private Party are like instantly one of the more exciting acts in IMPACT now. This should be pretty fun

Edward Mass
Sep 14, 2011

𝅘𝅥𝅮 I wanna go home with the armadillo
Good country music from Amarillo and Abilene
Friendliest people and the prettiest women you've ever seen
𝅘𝅥𝅮
Alex Shelly revealed his circumstances for why he's been out, and it's because he's waiting to get vaccinated. Fair enough.

flashy_mcflash
Feb 7, 2011

Yeah it sounds like he didn't want to put his physical therapy patients at risk by traveling which is pretty cool.

Lead Pipe Cinch
Mar 10, 2003

Heavy Metal Bakesale


flashy_mcflash posted:

Yeah it sounds like he didn't want to put his physical therapy patients at risk by traveling which is pretty cool.

I am sure this is absolutely true, but the way he framed it made it sound like his workplace also has really stringent travel guidelines that “going to wrestle in Nashville” would violate.

midge
Mar 15, 2004

World's finest snatch.
The piped in audience noise since Hard To Kill is obnoxious as gently caress

Edward Mass
Sep 14, 2011

𝅘𝅥𝅮 I wanna go home with the armadillo
Good country music from Amarillo and Abilene
Friendliest people and the prettiest women you've ever seen
𝅘𝅥𝅮

midge posted:

The piped in audience noise since Hard To Kill is obnoxious as gently caress

I wouldn't call it obnoxious, but it is a bit unnerving.

Edward Mass
Sep 14, 2011

𝅘𝅥𝅮 I wanna go home with the armadillo
Good country music from Amarillo and Abilene
Friendliest people and the prettiest women you've ever seen
𝅘𝅥𝅮
I'm guessing No Surrender will need a new match:

https://twitter.com/DeonnaPurrazzo/status/1357490782077399046

Pylons
Mar 16, 2009


I'm fairly sure this is referring to Steve Cutler's release from WWE (Him and Deonna are dating).

J-Ro
Jul 26, 2005

Child Of The Revolution

Speaking of matches, this should be a good one:

https://twitter.com/IMPACTWRESTLING/status/1357373375304318979?s=20

Glass Punkbull 141
Jan 9, 2008

This is the face of a winner. This is what winning looks like.
Of all the things that I thought would happen in the future, being more tempted to buy an Impact show over loving Wrestlemania was not one of them.


I mean, this match. Look at this match. It appeals to me on a level that I never thought possible.

Edward Mass
Sep 14, 2011

𝅘𝅥𝅮 I wanna go home with the armadillo
Good country music from Amarillo and Abilene
Friendliest people and the prettiest women you've ever seen
𝅘𝅥𝅮

Stone Pitbull 141 posted:

I mean, this match. Look at this match. It appeals to me on a level that I never thought possible.

The three-hour Raw would be massively improved if it was like the three-hour Nitro, and featured their Cruiserweights exclusively.

On topic, the Triple Threat Revolver match is probably the best new match invention that doesn’t involve physical objects in the longest time.

Procrastinator
Aug 16, 2009

what?


personally i think you just let it be elimination all the way to the end, instead of changing things up for the final three, but that's very impact to have a rules change partway through

Lead Pipe Cinch
Mar 10, 2003

Heavy Metal Bakesale



Wait, did Blake leave GCW to go exclusive with Impact or is this him wrapping up commitments before presumably going to NXT?

thatguyclint
Apr 11, 2005
See, I didn't know that...ducks eat for free at Subway.

Lead Pipe Cinch posted:

Wait, did Blake leave GCW to go exclusive with Impact or is this him wrapping up commitments before presumably going to NXT?

Christian's been doing some NJPW US shows too, I think he's just moved up in the world to "waiting on the pandemic to end so he can work NJPW" more than waiting on a NXT deal to come through.

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Chris James 2
Aug 9, 2012


Rosemary recruited Black Taurus :woop:

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