Register a SA Forums Account here!
JOINING THE SA FORUMS WILL REMOVE THIS BIG AD, THE ANNOYING UNDERLINED ADS, AND STUPID INTERSTITIAL ADS!!!

You can: log in, read the tech support FAQ, or request your lost password. This dumb message (and those ads) will appear on every screen until you register! Get rid of this crap by registering your own SA Forums Account and joining roughly 150,000 Goons, for the one-time price of $9.95! We charge money because it costs us money per month for bills, and since we don't believe in showing ads to our users, we try to make the money back through forum registrations.
 
  • Post
  • Reply
Lord Stimperor
Jun 13, 2018

I'm a lovable meme.






quote:

This log is many centuries years old. But it’s a log with a difference. The Lloyds Bank Coprolite has had an interesting journey through time, even if its origins are far from palatable.

Put simply, this is a fossilized human turd. Not only that, but the largest and – bizarrely – most valuable on record. It dates back to approximately the 9th century and the person responsible is believed to be a Viking. It currently rests at the Jórvík Viking Centre in the city of York, England.

Jórvík was the Viking name for York, with the Center part of an area that has yielded numerous treasures. Whether the Coprolite can be described as treasure is a question for the ages. That said, the details are fascinating.

The reason it’s named after Lloyds Bank isn’t some weird corporate branding exercise. The hefty deposit, measuring 8″ x 2″ (20 cm by 5 cm), was found beneath the site of the famous bank in 1972. And here’s a fun fact for the day – “Coprolite” means fossilized human feces! Paleofeces is also a term used to describe ancient human droppings found as part of archaeological expeditions.

This is one mighty archaeological achievement. The Australian Academy of Science observed in 2017, “Human coprolites are very rare, and tend to only be preserved in either very dry or frozen environments, however samples have been found that date back to the Late Paleolithic—around 22,000 years ago.”

For a complete specimen to last this long is awe-inspiring, if not exactly need-to-know information. How do they know it came from a Viking? The ingredients that went into the epic production provide some clues.

“He was not a great vegetable eater,” wrote the Guardian in 2003, “instead living on large amounts of meat and grains such as bran, despite fruit stones, nutshells and other stools containing matter from vegetables such as leeks being found on the same site.”

Via https://www.thevintagenews.com/2019/10/02/lloyds-bank-coprolite/

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Grevlek
Jan 10, 2004

go cow go

Okay which one of you is leaving poops ??

youre dick
Jan 29, 2019


Post delivers what title promises, thanks I guess? It's deffo impressive

Lord Stimperor
Jun 13, 2018

I'm a lovable meme.



Also kudos to the woman who produced the longest human turd ever recorded, at more than 7 meters lengths, for science.

Look how proud she is!

Slumpy
Jun 10, 2008




as far as we know, a viking could easily fit that size object in his rear end

Bogus Adventure
Jan 11, 2017

"When I started here all there was was lampshade warehouses and leather bars, the serious leather bars where you wouldn't get in unless you had a rubber ball stuffed in your mouth, the wine list was tattooed on the bartender's face. That kind of place."

-Bogus Adventure




This is the best loss edit yet

hemale in pain
Jun 5, 2010






Salad Prong

without scale i have no idea if that turd is enormous or not op

Les Os
Mar 28, 2010


Has anybody taken a poo so big they died

SatansOnion
Dec 12, 2011



Les Os posted:

Has anybody taken a poo so big they died

iirc the Mutter Museum has the preserved distended intestine of somebody who died of literally too much poop that wouldn’t come out, but that’s really more dying from the poo *not* taken so dunno exactly how helpful I’ve been
e: it’s somewhat on topic, too, b/c as huge dooks go, the one that happened in that length of intestine was probably a historical all-timer

SatansOnion fucked around with this message at 14:33 on Jan 18, 2021

Bloodfart McCoy
Jul 20, 2007

"The A+ TCC poster
you did nazi coming."





Les Os posted:

Has anybody taken a poo so big they died

Possibly. Did your mother die during childbirth?

Lil Swamp Booger Baby
Aug 1, 1981

MTV




That viking was an enormous loser, I'm glad he's dead.

Lord Stimperor
Jun 13, 2018

I'm a lovable meme.



You're just jealous because you aren't famous for your poop

Lil Swamp Booger Baby
Aug 1, 1981

MTV




Lord Stimperor posted:

You're just jealous because you aren't famous for your poop

The viking sucked my rear end in a top hat dry I will never forgive him.

Lil Swamp Booger Baby
Aug 1, 1981

MTV




Where do you think he got all the poo poo from, he didn't make it all himself.

Inexplicable Humblebrag
Sep 20, 2003



thanks for the image of a huge poo poo, op, that is displaying on my monitor, that is currently powered on

Dumb Sex-Parrot
Dec 24, 2020

i just want to murder all the tr*nnies, but hey, that's your opinion and i'm fine with that. looks like you've got some growing up to do.

Truly a shitpost worthy of its name.

Bloodfart McCoy
Jul 20, 2007

"The A+ TCC poster
you did nazi coming."





hemale in pain posted:

without scale i have no idea if that turd is enormous or not op

Can someone hold up a Bad Dragon Horse Dildo next to it so I can tell if it would fit in my rear end?

Internetjack
Sep 15, 2007

oh god how did this get here i am not good with computers


Top Cop

I'm lmao picturing some junior archeologist working on a dig site, slowly brushing away dirt.
Oh, here's something! Keeps brushing...
What, oh god its an old turd, gross.

Senior archeologist runs over, AMAZING! We have to preserve that!

Junior: WTF dude?

Chrs
Sep 21, 2015



Queuing up and paying good money to have a look at a thousand year old turd

Chrs
Sep 21, 2015



Indiana Jones running away from the bad guys holding a turd in his hands

“It belongs in a museum!”

Bloodfart McCoy
Jul 20, 2007

"The A+ TCC poster
you did nazi coming."





Chrs posted:

Indiana Jones running away from the bad guys holding a turd in his hands

“It belongs in a museum!”

“It belongs in my rear end!”

Bogus Adventure
Jan 11, 2017

"When I started here all there was was lampshade warehouses and leather bars, the serious leather bars where you wouldn't get in unless you had a rubber ball stuffed in your mouth, the wine list was tattooed on the bartender's face. That kind of place."

-Bogus Adventure



Bloodfart McCoy posted:

“It belongs in my rear end!”


lmao

Chrs
Sep 21, 2015



Theres a lot of good stuff in British museums. At Cheddar Gorge Museum of Prehistory they’ve got a collection of cave man dildos.

Bogus Adventure
Jan 11, 2017

"When I started here all there was was lampshade warehouses and leather bars, the serious leather bars where you wouldn't get in unless you had a rubber ball stuffed in your mouth, the wine list was tattooed on the bartender's face. That kind of place."

-Bogus Adventure



Chrs posted:

Theres a lot of good stuff in British museums. At Cheddar Gorge Museum of Prehistory they’ve got a collection of cave man dildos.

Cave women make do

Chrs
Sep 21, 2015



Yeah it wasn’t very inclusive back then I guess

You Are A Elf
Apr 26, 2010

Black Gold!


Chrs posted:

Theres a lot of good stuff in British museums. At Cheddar Gorge Museum of Prehistory they’ve got a collection of cave man dildos.

*Flintstones camera pan to a flamingo*

“It’s a living!”

Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon

All i see is your post op idgi

Klyith
Aug 3, 2007

GBS Pledge Week


Internetjack posted:

I'm lmao picturing some junior archeologist working on a dig site, slowly brushing away dirt.
Oh, here's something! Keeps brushing...
What, oh god its an old turd, gross.

Senior archeologist runs over, AMAZING! We have to preserve that!

Junior: WTF dude?

fun thing watching Time Team, when they excavate an old latrine pit they often mention they can be sure what it was because it still smells like poo poo after a thousand years

Lil Swamp Booger Baby
Aug 1, 1981

MTV




Klyith posted:

fun thing watching Time Team, when they excavate an old latrine pit they often mention they can be sure what it was because it still smells like poo poo after a thousand years

I lust to smell another man's 2k year old poo poo, like every year of ancient poo poo is a new Madden release you gotta smell each one to be able to delineate all the improvements across the series.

Inexplicable Humblebrag
Sep 20, 2003



Bloodfart McCoy posted:

“It belongs in my rear end!”


turds don't belong in asses dude. that's why they tend to emerge, and if they don't, will kill you

Lil Swamp Booger Baby
Aug 1, 1981

MTV




If you vaso-lube the ancient rear end-slab and schlorp that poo poo back into your gaping bungus you will relive the memories of the Viking screaming making GBS threads long-style in a field and going full on Jordon Peterson on a raw beef buffet straight fillt with tripe and assorted offal - no greens. The memory then stretches back like liminal taffy to when the mans was slobbering all over knobs at the communal sex-designated longhouse.

Bloodfart McCoy
Jul 20, 2007

"The A+ TCC poster
you did nazi coming."





Inexplicable Humblebrag posted:

turds don't belong in asses dude. that's why they tend to emerge, and if they don't, will kill you

Lil Swamp Booger Baby
Aug 1, 1981

MTV




That's when you know it's your ancestor Assassin's Creed was made by braindamaged people in reality we just use poo poo to access our genetic memory via fecal transplant.

Inexplicable Humblebrag
Sep 20, 2003



Lil Swamp Booger Baby posted:

If you vaso-lube the ancient rear end-slab and schlorp that poo poo back into your gaping bungus you will relive the memories of the Viking screaming making GBS threads long-style in a field and going full on Jordon Peterson on a raw beef buffet straight fillt with tripe and assorted offal - no greens. The memory then stretches back like liminal taffy to when the mans was slobbering all over knobs at the communal sex-designated longhouse.

i don't think so, Tim

Lil Swamp Booger Baby
Aug 1, 1981

MTV




They're playing Kendrick Lamar in the longhouse.

Roseo
Jun 1, 2000
Forum Veteran



It's a fake!

https://www.villagevoice.com/1998/12/08/lets-make-an-ordeal/

Prof. Crocodile
Jun 27, 2020




Say what you will about Marina Abramović, but if she were going to make a performance piece about a 7 meter poo poo, she would have *really* taken a 7 meter poo poo.

Red Fructidor
Jan 8, 2004



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eHqgY2XfY-Q

Lord Stimperor
Jun 13, 2018

I'm a lovable meme.




Next you're telling me there aren't any hot singles in my area

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Pawn 17
Dec 17, 2000

> access main security grid
access: PERMISSION DENIED.







Lord Stimperor posted:

Next you're telling me there aren't any hot singles in my area

There are plenty of hot singles in your area but no one weird trick for you to meet any of them.

  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  • Post
  • Reply