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System Metternich posted:Still lolling at Sandrah, the Mariest of all Sues who probably slept with half of Faerun at this point, has sex with multiple people every day and apprenticed in a literal brothel considering herself "not experienced in the art of making love" Your network will be a literal spider's web by the time we're done with BG1, by the time we finish it'll be illegible.
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Feb 3, 2021 21:10
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Vichan posted:Who writes poo poo like this? gotta say I'm somewhat impressed at the sheer volume of text they managed to produce while typing with only one hand
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Feb 3, 2021 21:16
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Sandrah actually puts even the most outlandish and obviously made up stories about roman nobility to shame. I'm not sure that even magical healing could keep up with the sheer frequency of loving. 
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Feb 3, 2021 21:29
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She writes women like that "breasted boobily" joke on Twitter or wherever.
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Feb 3, 2021 22:00
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the shard is literally just a bg1 strategy guide.
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Feb 3, 2021 23:11
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I'd ask what the heck she's going to have in the tank story-wise for BGII, but I'm TERRIFIED of the answer.
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Feb 3, 2021 23:55
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Fighting Trousers posted:I'd ask what the heck she's going to have in the tank story-wise for BGII, but I'm TERRIFIED of the answer. "Watch me gently caress Amelyssan and the Solar at the same time!" The Cowled Wizards, of course, will not dare to lift a finger against her.
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Feb 3, 2021 23:59
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cringing imagining Cyric's brief ToB cameo in this mod
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Feb 4, 2021 00:10
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Maybe she'll run out of ideas and it will descend into just an org- ahahaha as if it isn't already that, we're doomed
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Feb 4, 2021 00:54
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I would be curious how she deals with Keldorn's personal quest if there was any chance the story would allow "good" characters to ever disagree with her.
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Feb 4, 2021 07:20
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One of the things gnawing at me is the weird language that imoen's using, the quickest word sticks out at me, as does ending every other word in "a" like she's attempting bad italian
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Feb 4, 2021 11:16
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tithin posted:as does ending every other word in "a" like she's attempting bad italian  sorry, this is canon imoen now
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Feb 4, 2021 13:32
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Chapter XLIII - Ya mem'ry's as sharp as mine. We finally arrive at Wyrm's Crossing, the bridge to Baldur's Gate. Let's sidestep hear and pay a visit to Umberlee's priestess.  Environmental issues? we'll see if we can't deal with it once we come across it.    The fight wasn't really noteworthy, seems like we made an enemy of Talos though. Thanks a lot, Sandrah!   Umberlee will probably be pleased, it's hard to tell with Gods. Back to the bridge.  Who's this shady character?  This might come in handy one of these days.  Shar-Teel is befuddled by my affection.  More bookhunters, and one of them is a pirate?  We're going to hear about this book a LOT this chapter.   When it comes to affection Shar-Teel giveth and taketh.  Before crossing the bridge we run into these elves.  They're laughably easy to beat.  Haiass gains another much needed boost.  On the bridge we run into Scar, one of my favourite characters. This is all vanilla but I wanted to showcase it anyway.   Just before the city walls we run into a dog lady.  Quite a lengthy conversation that I enjoyed a LOT as a teen, not so much now. We absolutely DESTROY her and her mutts.  Sandrah immediately hijacks Kivan's resolution because why the gently caress not?  Kivan's bow, nothing special. Before we head into the city proper we're going to do a roster change, while on our way to make it happen we sleep as Feldepost's.  Good thing we're heading to Baldur's Gate anyway. I can't believe I actually contributed!  Goodbye, Shar-Teel and Kivan!  The former will definitely be back soon but Kivan might not. Minsc and Dynaheir will be back as we enter Baldur's Gate for reason that'll become clear next chapter.  It's nice to see the animals getting along with each other, The Beast seems especially fond of Boo and vice versa!   Dynaheir discusses my dreams, her banters are great and Sandrah could learn a thing or two from her.  While at Nashkel Inn we dance the night away... The next morning...  Dynaheir's romance takes a long time to get going, I don't think we'll be able to get through it all.  Minsc is so adorable with BG1NPC.  This talk is a little late, Imoen. I gotta say.   While on our way back to Wyrm's Crossing Sandrah asks if we can go back to Furlon, the halfling standing in front of the bridge. I knew he'd be relevant!   We'll get to Ulgoth's Beard later, Baldur's Gate will be first on our list.  Dynaheir's definitely my favourite of the romance options for males.  Before going to Baldur's Gate let's head to upper Chiontar first, also known as the zombie farm.  Killing zombies is easy peasy at this point, however...  This guy was an issue, that on-death cloudkill is no loving joke!  Oh boy, Haiass and Pelligram are an item?  Besides thanking us for dealing with the undead the farmer also tells us about the Fields of the Dead, we'll get to that later.  While leaving the zombie farm we're accosted by the weird mage ladies from the Beregost inn as well as a zombie lord, just like all Roxanne encounters they're very annoying.  Next time we'll FINALLY get to Baldur's Gate proper, and it only took us 43 chapters to get there! Vichan fucked around with this message at 02:57 on Nov 7, 2021 |
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Feb 4, 2021 13:39
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You know, when you play the Kivan romance mod for bg1, your character barely make it to first base with the guy by the end of the game. It's all very overwrought and melodramatic, but it is at least quasi-realistic in that sense. Meanwhile, Sandrah heals his broken heart in ten minutes with her sexiness.
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Feb 4, 2021 14:02
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Fighting Trousers posted:You know, when you play the Kivan romance mod for bg1, your character barely make it to first base with the guy by the end of the game. It's all very overwrought and melodramatic, but it is at least quasi-realistic in that sense. Most BG1 romances are kind of like that. The writers understand that BG1 is only act one of the story, and I don't believe it's possible to automatically carry over romance states from BG1 to BG2. So most romance mods for BG1 have either the relationship ending for various reasons at the conclusion, or the relationship not getting overly serious (by whatever metric) so that there's room for things to grow in BG2. That was my approach with Valerie. If you meet her requirements she'll start to reciprocate if you flirt with her in BG1, ultimately ending with a kiss, but it's not a serious relationship and Valerie in BG2 treats it as such. Leading on from that, a common approach with mod characters who have BG1 and BG2 mods is that when you first meet them in BG2 you'll have a range of dialogue choices on how to greet them to establish what your relationship, if you know this person at all, is like, and the mod then moves from there with different variations based on if you already know each other and if so were you romantically involved or not. Somehow, I doubt Sandrah is going to take this measured approach.
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Feb 4, 2021 14:36
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quote:
Forgot to add this one, fixed.
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Feb 4, 2021 14:45
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Can't we play through the story of the book-hunting pirate instead? I bet they're a much more interesting person than Sandrah the rapist nymphomaniac. e; Vichan posted:Forgot to add this one, fixed. ...Thanks, I hate it. Leave the goddamn animals in peace at least, Roxanne.
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Feb 4, 2021 14:45
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If I remember correctly from when I played the Kivan romance approximately 3 million years ago, BG1 is all very slow burn "I'm here for you/BUT MY ANGST!". Like I said, it's very overwrought and melodramatic and the constant, gratuitous Elvish was very  . Then in BG2, he shows up in Amn! He was looking for you! He really does care! And it's more gratuitous Elvish under the moonlight, and at the end of SoA, he's like "I love you, but I'm still damaged and I can't do that to you" and aw, bittersweet. Then you fire up ToB and actually he's changed his mind, let's do this baby. It's whiplash inducing and kind of hilarious.It's definitely not the worst romance mod for the BG series I've played, but much depends on one's tolerance for melancholy.
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Feb 4, 2021 14:52
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Meanwhile you can have a baby with Coran by the end of BG1.
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Feb 4, 2021 14:53
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And Gavin in BG2/ToB has something like thirty different romanced epilogues because his modder felt the need to include an RNG for how many kids you have based on how many times you have sex and how many of those times Gavin wears a condom and write a different epilogue for every result. I thought I was ridiculous by giving Darian fourteen (I think, it's been a long time) different epilogues based on choices you make about the relationship or lack thereof. Cythereal fucked around with this message at 15:05 on Feb 4, 2021 |
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Feb 4, 2021 15:01
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Cythereal posted:And Gavin in BG2/ToB has something like thirty different romanced epilogues because his modder felt the need to include an RNG for how many kids you have based on how many times you have sex and how many of those times Gavin wears a condom and write a different epilogue for every result. And to think that I thought the Gavin mod was dull!
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Feb 4, 2021 15:50
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I hate this overwrought romantic relationship stuff here almost as much as I hated every single high school drama manga people tried to get me interested in. If I was somehow transported into a fictional setting full of drama queens constantly trying to get it on with each other I'd probably become a masked serial killer like Jason.
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Feb 4, 2021 16:03
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Lysan Lurraxol posted:And to think that I thought the Gavin mod was dull! Could be worse. If you romance Saerileth she pumps out something like sixteen kids in the epilogue.
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Feb 4, 2021 17:51
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why does the cat have a human face and why does it and the wolf have to gently caress instead of just being friends
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Feb 4, 2021 17:54
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Baldur's Gate will again feature a revolving door of NPCs leaving and joining, there's a lot of banters and interjections that I want to cover. This will include NPCs that we haven't covered yet, at least one of them has content with Sandrah.
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Feb 4, 2021 18:13
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Zulily Zoetrope posted:why does the cat have a human face and why does it and the wolf have to gently caress instead of just being friends I'm beginning to suspect Roxanne is a closet furry who's slowly working up the nerve to just write bestiality porn. After all, it's the logical next step once she runs out of humanoid characters.
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Feb 4, 2021 18:17
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Vichan posted:Forgot to add this one, fixed. 
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Feb 4, 2021 18:51
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Keeping Tiax in the party in BG1NPC is a pain.  The LP will probably be very chaotic from this point on. Not that it wasn't to begin with...
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Feb 4, 2021 20:48
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Cythereal posted:And Gavin in BG2/ToB has something like thirty different romanced epilogues because his modder felt the need to include an RNG for how many kids you have based on how many times you have sex and how many of those times Gavin wears a condom and write a different epilogue for every result.
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Feb 4, 2021 21:39
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Zulily Zoetrope posted:I would be curious how she deals with Keldorn's personal quest if there was any chance the story would allow "good" characters to ever disagree with her. Prediction: She suggests an open marriage and bangs Keldorn and his wife and the wife's lover at once.
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Feb 5, 2021 00:17
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Sandrah will probably just take over and make the good choice so you can quickly move on and get back to Sandrah's personal plot.
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Feb 5, 2021 01:53
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I sincerely hope someone shows Roxanne this thread. Cythereal posted:Could be worse. If you romance Saerileth she pumps out something like sixteen kids in the epilogue. Cross mod content between Saerileth and Sandrah? because holy gently caress that's gonna be awful
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Feb 5, 2021 04:34
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Do you think maybe Shar-Teel was supposed to be a Blackguard? She's clearly not Paladin material, and that's a new class kit in EE, isn't it?
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Feb 5, 2021 07:37
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Chapter XLIV- Sweet little deceiver.   Baldur's Gate, finally!  Elminster greets up just as we enter the city, which means...  We're getting more OP gear! (-6 AC in total)  Eltan and Scar can be trusted, got it.   Did Elminster humour Minsc just now or is Boo actually a giant miniature space hamster? (Before you ask, every time Boo squeaks his sound effect plays.) Elminster leaves us after this.  Haiass and Pelligram's relationship mirrors mine and Sandrah's, God help them...  Again we're pointed towards the Fields of the Dead.  It fades to black after this. Jesus Christ, Roxanne...  Dynaheir comes off as a creep during this but BG veterans can understand the reasons she has for exploring Vichan's dreams.  Despite Talos' wrath never coming our way without Sandrah Saga installed she insists it was inevitable. Typical.  This idiot tries to take my staff again. He fails. Again.  We kick Minsc and Jaheira to the curb...  ...And bring back Khalid and Jaheira.  Still their old selves.  This is what you get when you've got a revolving door of NPCs joining and leaving again.  Khalid and Jaheira are harpers? No way! (I originally thought this conversation was a bit more involved which is why I invited them back in the first place, oh well)  Khalid and Jaheira make way for this eccentric gnome.  Sandrah immediately decides she wants to fix him. Who will fill out the roster, you ask?   I immediately regret this decision. (No, I'm not going through each and every one of those options)  While in Beregost we might as well deliver the relic we got in the dragon's hoard.  Gavin sketches. Big whoop. Let's go back to Baldur's Gate.  We enter the Elfsong Tavern. This FMV was not in the original Baldur's Gate but was restored with the help of mods.  Imoen decides to celebrate my birthday, making an amulet for the occasion.  Such a sweet gift, it even gives us -1 to AC. (Wizard slayers really get shafter, don't they?)  We finally meet Gavin's brother, Jolun.  What a nice fellow.  They definitely have a history.  Gavin can introduce practically everyone, but he's not the focus of this mod so   One of the hardest choices in the game.  Let's hope he falls in a canal or something.  ...Crap. That means we have to kick him out. Bye, Gavin.  BYE. GAVIN.  We go to the Hall of Wonders in order to pick up Alora, desperately hoping she has content with Sandrah. I don't think she does We can't pick her up just yet so let's pick some locks while we're here.  The wonders on display makes Jen'lig nostalgic.  I...don't hate these banters as much as I thought I would.  Alora finally decides to join us. Happy happy joy joy.  Keeping Tiax in the party seems nigh impossible with BG1NPC, sadly he won't stick around for long.  Neither will Alora, who doesn't seem very talkative aside from this banter.  We go to Sorcerous Sundries to deal with our egg problem, if we hadn't done this eventually it would've led to an encounter with a wraith spider. I'm pretty sure there's also a way to get it as a pet but we have enough of them as it is.  Shabby.  Tiax decides to leave us shortly afterwards, but I decided to reload a bit so we could deal with his sidequest which is pretty nice.   I like this interpretation of Tiax's backstory, when we go to the Blade and Stars...  Well, that was easy. Nothing left to do but report to B-  Uh-oh.  Killing Belgin is necessary to keep Tiax around but since he's going to leave us anyway we might as well let the poor bugger live. This is the third time an NPC with Sandrah content is being difficult, I might do a quick playthrough after this one in order to showcase their content. For now it seems we must bid farewell to Tiax. We also kick Alora out for good measure, she's not providing us with any content.I've already managed to find one replacement...  Garrick is chilling at the Elfsong Tavern just like he said he would, no unique dialogue though. Next time we'll round out the cast with another party member before seeing what these Shadow Thieves are all about. Vichan fucked around with this message at 02:57 on Nov 7, 2021 |
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Feb 5, 2021 11:40
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My biggest regret so far is not installing a mod that places Baldur's Gate NPCs in alternate locations. I apologise for this chapter being a bit of a clusterfuck. The only NPCs we haven't picked up yet are Faldorn, Skie and Quayle, we'll get to the last two later even though I doubt they have any content with Sandrah.
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Feb 5, 2021 11:46
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I'm not deep into Realmslore but I know Elminster is supposed to be really old for a human. (Apparently he's over 1100 years old during the events of Baldur's Gate.) So what's Roxanne's explanation for switching around the canon to make him younger than Midnight? There are easier ways to get that I'm Impossibly Special  aura than this! Just play up the Chosen of Mystra connection or something!
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Feb 5, 2021 12:07
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Huh, Eldoth's BG1NPC banters DO fire, interesting... Him and Skie still have no banters with Sandrah as far as I can see, we won't be covering them all that much.
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Feb 5, 2021 12:49
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Vichan posted:
Given everything else Vichan's been going through this doesn't even register on the radar. I'm sure Sandrah will manage a much more direct violation of his dreams sooner or later, once she's done violating everything else.
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Feb 5, 2021 14:24
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I don't know much deep FR lore but wasn't Elminister in a relationship with [a] Mystra? Old one or new one I don't know which but either doesn't make sense with the given backstory in the mod.
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Feb 5, 2021 14:28
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This ongoing train wreck of converging plot lines better be leading to one hell of an explosion. I want all the characters to die horribly.
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Feb 5, 2021 14:32
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