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The Management
Jan 2, 2010

sup, bitch?


Itís pardon day, the last day of a lame duck presidency when they hand out pardons like candy. We could all use a little pardoning. What did you do that deserves a presidential pardon?

Me, I was low on food one fine pandemic day so I cooked a hot dog, not realizing we had no more buns. Improvising, I ate the hot dog in a tortilla. It was terrible and Iím sorry but I deserve a pardon because címon, I was hungry.

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Rockman Reserve
Oct 2, 2007

"Carbons? Purge? What are you talking about?!"



sexual indecency with a protected saguaro cactus

Internetjack
Sep 15, 2007

oh god how did this get here i am not good with computers


Top Cop

That gas station bathroom a few weeks back. The stench...
I'm sorry your gas station/convenience store smelled terrible for a half hour.

Please pardon me!

hey mom its 420
May 12, 2007

im gay

Rockman Reserve posted:

sexual indecency with a protected saguaro cactus

same

20 Blunts
Jan 21, 2017



running bulls.....through the vatican

Full Metal Jackass
Jan 22, 2001

Rabid bats are welcome in my home

My posting

Rockman Reserve
Oct 2, 2007

"Carbons? Purge? What are you talking about?!"




tbf it was a hell of a party

CPL593H
Oct 28, 2009

I know what you did last summer, and frankly I am displeased.

I did a shot for shot remake of Keyboard Goop with a Polaroid camera and mailed it to the mayor.

Pinche Rudo
Feb 8, 2005



Eating rear end on federal land

Bloodfart McCoy
Jul 20, 2007

"The A+ TCC poster
you did nazi coming."





Eating 2 much rear end

Bloodfart McCoy
Jul 20, 2007

"The A+ TCC poster
you did nazi coming."





Pinche Rudo posted:

Eating rear end on federal land

We should get together.

For crimes, not gay stuff.

1redflag
Feb 15, 2012

I'm accidentally a suicide bomber!


They said petrified wood wouldnít burn

Cobalt-60
Oct 11, 2016

Over time, random factors add up. What is chaos in the moment becomes systemic over time and space. As data accumulates, a pattern emerges.



I said "liberal" when i should have said "leftist." Oh wait, that's for the NEXT pardon day.

Uhhh...I didn't take off my hat during the national anthem. In my defense, I was holding two beers.

OB-GYN Kenobi
Dec 4, 2017


Eating expired mayonnaise

hey mom its 420
May 12, 2007

im gay

Rockman Reserve posted:

tbf it was a hell of a party

you said it brother

Dear Watson
Jun 25, 2005




Hell Gem

poo poo my pants on federal property

Infidel Castro
Jun 8, 2010

Again and again
Your face reminds me of a bleak future
Despite the absence of hope
I give you this sacrifice






Taking a really bad smelling poo poo. Which I'm doing right now.

Rivethead
Feb 22, 2008


Ate an entire package of Oreos while in my dentist's waiting room.

A Fancy Hat
Nov 18, 2016

Always remember that the former President was dumber than the dumbest person you've ever met by a wide margin



When the guy came to fix my furnace he offered a really overpriced duct cleaning process that used UV light and stuff. I told him "I'll check with your office to schedule something" but I never did, I was just humoring him.

MakaVillian
Aug 15, 2003

Well, in Whoville they say - that his tiny hands grew three sizes that day.


Bloodfart McCoy posted:

We should get together.

For crimes, not gay stuff.

But also gay stuff

Cheesus
Oct 17, 2002

Let us retract the foreskin of ignorance and apply the wirebrush of enlightenment.

Yam Slacker

Chicken hawking while hawking chickens.

Icochet
Mar 18, 2008

I have a very small TV. Don't make fun of it! Please don't shame it like that~


Grimey Drawer

I didn't mention my multiclassing in my tax return

ClamdestineBoyster
Aug 15, 2015


I canít top a hot dog burrito. I think you need to take a course in ethics if you think thatís pardonable.

Waterbed Wendy
Jan 29, 2009

airy tender puffs



being half french canadian, op

Halloween Liker
Oct 31, 2020



Attitude like real down south baked salad woman

Mozi
Apr 4, 2004


here he comes
and he's gone again


Nap Ghost

my french

SleepySonata
Mar 3, 2010


Illegal porn

Jabberlock
Nov 29, 2014





said mean things about a sitting president

Wall Balls
Jun 3, 2007

Spanish Castle Magic



stole chickens, shot crabs, chased girls

Schweinhund
Oct 23, 2004

                                       


All my bad posts. I'm a good poster now

Mr.Pibbleton
Feb 3, 2006

Aleuts rock, chummer.



I have thrown objects for my dog while looking in the opposite direction.

The Management posted:

Itís pardon day, the last day of a lame duck presidency when they hand out pardons like candy. We could all use a little pardoning. What did you do that deserves a presidential pardon?

Me, I was low on food one fine pandemic day so I cooked a hot dog, not realizing we had no more buns. Improvising, I ate the hot dog in a tortilla. It was terrible and Iím sorry but I deserve a pardon because címon, I was hungry.

I don't know if you're familiar with the goon Turtleicious, but he would often claim his bacon hot dog tortillas were amazing and we'd all have deep concerns about his health.

crispix
Mar 28, 2015

Oh globbits


sometimes leaving a grocery item in the wrong place in a supermarket because i've changed my mind about it

like i'll put a frozen or chilled thing back in the freezer/fridge respectively but it's still going to be something someone has to move later

small chance someone will see it in the wrong place and impulse buy it, i sometimes fancy

numberoneposter
Feb 19, 2014



every single traffic law i have ever broken in a car, on a motorcycle, or on a bicycle, or on foot.

thunderspanks
Nov 5, 2003

crucify this

In third grade, I cheated on my history exam. In fourth grade, I stole my uncle Maxís toupee and I glued it on my face when I was Moses in my Hebrew School play. In fifth grade, I knocked my sister Edie down the stairs and I blamed it on the dogÖWhen my mom sent me to the summer camp for fat kids and then they served lunch I went nuts and I pigged out and they kicked me outÖBut the worst thing I ever done ó I mixed a pot of fake puke at home and then I went to this movie theater, hid the puke in my jacket, climbed up to the balcony and then, then, I made a noise like this: hua-hua-hua-huaaaaaaa ó and then I dumped it over the side, all over the people in the audience. And then, this was horrible, all the people started getting sick and throwing up all over each other. I never felt so bad in my entire life.

Saalkin
Jun 29, 2008

GREAT RACK



Mozi posted:

my french

Classic.

I'm getting pardoned for secret reasons

numberoneposter
Feb 19, 2014



the assassination of michael hastings

neato burrito
Aug 25, 2002

bitch better have my chex mix

Flatulence in the 3rd degree and Pragmatic Malfeasance.

bossy lady
Jul 5, 2006



I put ketchup on a hotdog once just to hear a man scream

Sax Battler
Jul 31, 2007

Another bloody customs post,
Another fucking foreign coast,
Another set of scars to boast,
We Are The Road Crew.


Party rocking.

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Shinjobi
Jul 10, 2008






Gravy Boat 2k

I pooped really bad one time



Like, really bad

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