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Roach Warehouse
Nov 1, 2010




Astonishing how all the main cast are just casually on-board with going to Cheryl's sex party with serious murder vibes.

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Eej
Jun 17, 2007

HEAVYARMS


I haven't caught up yet but the greatest musical crime the Archie Cinematic Universe has committed is this cover of Shallow

pressedbunny
May 31, 2007

I joined the #RXT REVOLUTION~!

he knows...


Roach Warehouse posted:

Astonishing how all the main cast are just casually on-board with going to Cheryl's sex party with serious murder vibes.
The core group, plus Reggie, have been horny enough all along that a fuckfest between them didn't feel out of character to me. Archie's army buddy and the trucker dude have no reason to not be up for it, either.
But why Tabitha and Chad were game I've no idea, and you'd think someone would ask Cheryl "why is your art dealer part of, and organising, our wife-swapping?"

Eej posted:

I haven't caught up yet but the greatest musical crime the Archie Cinematic Universe has committed is this cover of Shallow
As atrocious as it was, Jailhouse Rock, Bittersweet Symphony, Kids In America, Saturday Night's All Right, Mad World were all worse, and that's just the songs which have respectable originals. How quickly we forget Candy Girl.

Space Cadet Omoly
Jan 15, 2014

Yay




pressedbunny posted:

The core group, plus Reggie, have been horny enough all along that a fuckfest between them didn't feel out of character to me. Archie's army buddy and the trucker dude have no reason to not be up for it, either.
But why Tabitha and Chad were game I've no idea, and you'd think someone would ask Cheryl "why is your art dealer part of, and organising, our wife-swapping?"

I just remembered that the Army Buddy and the Art Dealer are the only two who actually ended up having sex, good for them.

Tabitha being there did feel weird. She barely knows these people, clearly didn't to want to be there at all, and even though she's a relatively new character everything we know about her so far indicates that she wouldn't want to go to a key party with a bunch of shady strangers (which she didn't). I know the real reason she was there is because the plot needed her to be there so she could take drunk Jughead home safely, but still.

Shneak
Mar 6, 2015

"Doctor, listen to me and listen to me closely.
You're gonna witness all the days..."




Space Cadet Omoly posted:

I strongly suspect the aliens are connected to the murder truck, I'm not sure how but that's the vibe I get.

With Archie and Veronica out of the way this is absolutely going to be a set up for Betty and Jughead to team up again and probably get back together.

scourgeofthe7bees
Jun 21, 2008


Disappointing lack of Doritos this week tbh, you canít just give us a taste of something so spectacular and then chuck it. Also that key party resulted in less sex than a high school dnd club, weak sauce!

Shoehead
Sep 28, 2005

My cause is just...my will is strong...and my gun is very, very large!




Reggie I know you're working with Veronica's dad to ruin our town and kind of our lives but we have odd numbers at our key party so I guess you can come

cant cook creole bream
Aug 15, 2011
I think Fahrenheit is better for weather

Shoehead posted:

Reggie I know you're working with Veronica's dad to ruin our town and kind of our lives but we have odd numbers at our key party so I guess you can come

Honestly, he was one of the only ones who gave it a fair chance and tried something new. I don't know what Veronica and Chad were expecting to happen.
Chad is the worst part of this season. They have such a bad dynamic and I have no clue why anyone decided that this would be Veronica's storyline this season.

cant cook creole bream fucked around with this message at 17:21 on Mar 21, 2021

Shoehead
Sep 28, 2005

My cause is just...my will is strong...and my gun is very, very large!




Chad is basically Hiram again, and while I guess it makes sense that Veronica might be kinda co-dependent if we keep seeing her do this it's kind of a boring retread. (It'd be terrible if she was a real person don't get me wrong). She's already broken up with Chad I think 4 times if you count her doing a runner to Riverdale as a break up.

Space Cadet Omoly
Jan 15, 2014

Yay




Shoehead posted:

Reggie I know you're working with Veronica's dad to ruin our town and kind of our lives but we have odd numbers at our key party so I guess you can come

Look, evil or not he's still hot. If anything being evil has made him even hotter.

Space Cadet Omoly
Jan 15, 2014

Yay




You know, now that Toni and Cheryl are broken up, I kind of want her to get together with Tabatha.

I don't think they've even spoken to each other yet, but it'd be nice to see the only sane people (or as close to sane as you can get on this show) in Riverdale get to have a healthy and stable relationship.

GreenNight
Feb 19, 2006
Turning the light on the darkest places, you and I know we got to face this now. We got to face this now.

Chad is such an on the nose name for that guy, I'm waiting for a Karen to show up.

Eej
Jun 17, 2007

HEAVYARMS


Ok I caught up and this show is amazing again. It was really starting to drag in Season 4 and the time skip really did just refresh the show for me. The stupid poo poo everyone gets up to actually makes sense because they're adults now and Archie punching everyone has a little more grounding now that he's apparently gone off to Afghanistan-except-everyone-has-WW2-gear and become a decorated war hero. The only bad part is the Chad subplot because her marrying a dude who is a controlling rear end in a top hat to a greater extent than her father doesn't really make sense even if it sounds like it does on paper. I swear to god if she says She-Wolf again though

Crawdad
Feb 26, 2016


Tonight's episode is really good you guys,

pressedbunny
May 31, 2007

I joined the #RXT REVOLUTION~!

he knows...


A little low on product placement and one-liners for my taste, but I did appreciate Cheryl putting on a wholly inappropriate halftime show and Betty pistol-whipping truckers. Mostly I was distracted by Weatherbee forgetting which of his fingers he's not meant to be using each scene.

Space Cadet Omoly
Jan 15, 2014

Yay




The epic highs and lows of high school football have never been higher or lower. It took a lot of blood, sweat, tears, and the support of the support of the whole town, but the team managed to win score a single point!

The scene with Betty and Cheryl talking about dead loved one actual kind of got to me, and so did the scene where Betty lies to her mom because she just doesn't know how to deal with how much pain her sister's death will cause her. Then these scenes of real emotional pain lead straight into alien conspiracies' and Betty just beating up random truckers and I'd be lying if I said I didn't enjoy every single stupid minute of it. Betty is a cop on the edge! She doesn't play by the rules, but she doesn't get results either! She pretty much just sucks at her job in every possible way!

Kevin also gets a surprisingly good storyline, it took 5 seasons but they're finally doing stuff with him. Remember that time he had an ex-boyfriend that died in prison and the show just never addressed how that might have been traumatic for him? Did he have any reaction to Joaquin dying? I honestly can't remember. Also he was in an organ harvesting cult, and so was Fangs that's how they met, did either of them ever get therapy for that?

Hooking up with her shady art dealer has really helped Cheryl get to a better place emotionally, I wasn't expecting that but good for her. She's comforting her cousin during a difficult grieving period, trying to make amends for past wrongs, and preforming extremely horny musical numbers at high school football games!

cropoval
Feb 16, 2020



Space Cadet Omoly posted:

The scene with Betty and Cheryl talking about dead loved one actual kind of got to me, and so did the scene where Betty lies to her mom because she just doesn't know how to deal with how much pain her sister's death will cause her. Then these scenes of real emotional pain lead straight into alien conspiracies' and Betty just beating up random truckers and I'd be lying if I said I didn't enjoy every single stupid minute of it. Betty is a cop on the edge! She doesn't play by the rules, but she doesn't get results either! She pretty much just sucks at her job in every possible way!

Kevin also gets a surprisingly good storyline, it took 5 seasons but they're finally doing stuff with him. Remember that time he had an ex-boyfriend that died in prison and the show just never addressed how that might have been traumatic for him? Did he have any reaction to Joaquin dying? I honestly can't remember. Also he was in an organ harvesting cult, and so was Fangs that's how they met, did either of them ever get therapy for that?

Yeah, I usually do silly tweeting about how wild Riverdale is while the show is airing, but I didn't feel like I could make those tweets about the Kevin storyline or about the more realistic/serious parts of Betty's. It's not like they were incredibly handled or anything (in fact I could have done without Kevin getting attacked so abruptly) but I genuinely kind of felt for Betty when she lied even though she was making a gigantic mistake, and this is giving Kevin more depth than he's had in, well, the whole show so far.

That said, the football and mothman stuff was also somehow in this episode (does any show have more storylines per episode than Riverdale?), and it was the ridiculousness I come here to laugh at. I can't believe how quickly Betty decided that Polly could have been abducted by mothmen after hearing that one of Jughead's students sleepwalked and got lost once. Speaking of which: not sure if I will ever be over the fact that the kid's name was "Lerman Logan."

joebuddah
Jan 30, 2005


pressedbunny posted:

A little low on product placement and one-liners for my taste, but I did appreciate Cheryl putting on a wholly inappropriate halftime show and Betty pistol-whipping truckers. Mostly I was distracted by Weatherbee forgetting which of his fingers he's not meant to be using each scene.

Consistency in this show?

I love how on this show you can't predict what's going to happen.

My guess is the mothmen are from the near by , but never mentioned military base

scourgeofthe7bees
Jun 21, 2008


Ever seen a mothman ... on jingle jangle?

joebuddah
Jan 30, 2005


scourgeofthe7bees posted:

Ever seen a mothman ... on jingle jangle?


still love that movie.

Kemper Boyd
Aug 6, 2007

no kings, no gods, no masters but a comfy chair and no socks


Betty went full Raylan Givens in the last ep and I can appreciate that.

Too bad James Gandolfini died, because we could have used a crossover where Hiram meets Tony Soprano to discuss business and Tony just keeps making a confused face at Hiram who's ranting about his highschool football team.

Shneak
Mar 6, 2015

"Doctor, listen to me and listen to me closely.
You're gonna witness all the days..."




Veronica divorcing her husband but still finding the time to play into Hiram's bullshit... girl the call is coming from inside the house!

cropoval
Feb 16, 2020



I think no episode of television has had as many plotlines go on at once as the episode that just finished. Anyway, uh, we're on break until July (I think?) now.

I am legitimately so excited to see where this mothman thing goes.

Space Cadet Omoly
Jan 15, 2014

Yay




Writing down the craziest things as they happen:

Reggie gold digging Nanna Blossom.

Jughead asking his boss to acid sit for him.

Juniper and Dagwood going full creepy twins and trying to murder one of their classmates

No, wait, turns out Nanna Blossom wasn't interested in banging Reggie, she just wanted to sell him cursed trees

What the gently caress is the deal with Betty and Glen's relationship? Betty openly hates and resents him, how did they ever start dating? Are they even dating? We saw them kiss and now they're on what looks a dinner date, but Betty also banged Archie and Glen was secretly writing his dissertation on her family without her knowing? I totally get why Betty hates him, he sucks (seriously, writing a dissertation on someone's most painful memories without their consent is scummy as Hell), but then why does she keep voluntarily spending time outside of work with him?

Cheryl is determined to hold onto those cursed trees, this plotline is comedy gold. I want less of Veronica's marriage bullshit and more of Cheryl and Reggie trying to out scheme each other please.

Jughead is such a trainwreck of human being, I have no idea how he would have one woman interested in dating him let alone two. I mean I know he's a handsome guy because Cole Sprouse is a good looking dude (whom I respect a lot, I respect all the actors on Riverdale. They all deserve Oscars for being able to say the lines they do with a straight face), but surely there must be a limit to how much bullshit you're willing to put up with just because someone is attractive...right? Also, I can't believe his ex-girlfriend spotted him 500 dollars for those drugs. The dude is drowning in debt, he has a long history of not paying for poo poo, if he doesn't pay up front then you're not getting that money ever. Oh, and now his boss is an enabler.

Please end the Veronica and Chad subplot immediately. Stop dragging this out. Let Veronica go back to doing semi-legal business stuff via forcing her students into child labor.

Psychedelic cheeseburger.

Tick tick BOOM!

Fire solves all problems! I love how Reggie didn't even try to negotiate with Cheryl, just goes straight to burning poo poo.

Parent teacher night is now The Purge.

Real Charles and Fake Charles! Did we ever get fake Charles' real name? I can't remember. Digging fake Charles' long hippy hair. Oh, they both have guns. Good.

Oh gently caress yeah Archie is punching! Punch Archie! PUNCH! Wait, why did these prisoners break out of jail and immediately go to a high school? Oh who cares! Punch them all Archie! Yay! Seriously, I love this fight scene.

Best wedding ever, clearly. "The Hell? I don't count!?" Okay fake Charles' you're starting to win me over.

A scene of brutal murder followed directly by a scene topless dancing and bondage and drug hallucinations. This show is art.

PRAY TO SATAN TO SAVE THE MAPLE TREES!

Oh my God. Undercover trucker Betty.

Oh my GOD Jughead was taken by aliens.

This show, this loving show.


This episode delivered on the crazy in a big way and I loved it.

GreenNight
Feb 19, 2006
Turning the light on the darkest places, you and I know we got to face this now. We got to face this now.

Hirem paid the prisoners to go trash the school. That was told to us.

The Vosgian Beast
Aug 13, 2011

Business is slow

Am I crazy or did that psychedelic cheeseburger look delicious

GreenNight
Feb 19, 2006
Turning the light on the darkest places, you and I know we got to face this now. We got to face this now.

All the food on this show does. Even the tortilla scoops.

Paper Lion
Dec 13, 2009






The Lobotomy Kid posted:

He needs the town abandoned so he can dig for buried treasure.

this was a 3 pointer from half court, jesus

Eej
Jun 17, 2007

HEAVYARMS


Uncle Frank: something's afoot, I smell a riot brewing
Archie: okay, stay safe and lay low Uncle Frank

Also Uncle Frank: *first one out the hole as soon as the explosives go off*

Shneak
Mar 6, 2015

"Doctor, listen to me and listen to me closely.
You're gonna witness all the days..."




That shotgun prison wedding scene has to be proof the writers are in on the joke. This episode was BONKERS for no reason. And they didn't even kill Charles/Chic off

The Lobotomy Kid
Aug 27, 2011

and act like a nut.

Paper Lion posted:

this was a 3 pointer from half court, jesus

The military have been dosing the town with an experimental compound that makes you the perfect killer. It is either based on the serial killer gene or the gene is a lie concocted to cover for it. Swery65 will be none the wiser.

Whitlam
Aug 2, 2014

Some goons overreact. Go figure.


I also liked Kevin as director of the Riverdale High Glee Club, that we've never seen or heard of until now. Surely that has to be a little wink and a nod to people comparing the shows online?

Open Source Idiom
Jan 4, 2013


Whitlam posted:

I also liked Kevin as director of the Riverdale High Glee Club, that we've never seen or heard of until now. Surely that has to be a little wink and a nod to people comparing the shows online?

R A-C's worked with Ryan Murphy before, so it could just be a shout out to a friend.

Shoehead
Sep 28, 2005

My cause is just...my will is strong...and my gun is very, very large!




*inhhales* Oh yeah that's the crazy I'm after. Pray for a windstorm to save you from the fires burning towards your mansion set to clear out you maple groves so that Hiram can buy the land to mine PALLADIUM

joebuddah
Jan 30, 2005


Shankshaw prison.....

scourgeofthe7bees
Jun 21, 2008


List of things Archie has hit hard:
Reggie
Hiram
Uncle Frank
Mad Dog
Ghoulies
A bear
A whole prison break
Uzbekistan (tbc)
Tostitos scoops

I cannot wait to update this list

Roach Warehouse
Nov 1, 2010




Also a man dressed as a bear

Shoehead
Sep 28, 2005

My cause is just...my will is strong...and my gun is very, very large!




Archie has also hit "it" pretty hard too

joebuddah
Jan 30, 2005


Eej posted:

Uncle Frank: something's afoot, I smell a riot brewing
Archie: okay, stay safe and lay low Uncle Frank

Also Uncle Frank: *first one out the hole as soon as the explosives go off*

Strange things are afoot at the Circle J

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scourgeofthe7bees
Jun 21, 2008


Shoehead posted:

Archie has also hit "it" pretty hard too

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