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Midjack
Dec 24, 2007





nine-gear crow posted:

Palpy is a master of spinning plates, dropping like 3/4s of them, and doing it in such a way that you applaud because it looked like he meant to do that all along.

With sick moves like these, absolutely he does. 2:03 if the link doesn’t jump you there.

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nine-gear crow
Aug 10, 2013

low vis




Midjack posted:

With sick moves like these, absolutely he does. 2:03 if the link doesn’t jump you there.

Update the plan:

  • Hold a sick dance party on the Death Star

Finger Prince
Jan 5, 2007

"I think he's watching us..."

"No, it's just the Mountain Peeks."
(Source)



nine-gear crow posted:

Yeah, season 2 of The Mandalorian makes a big deal out of Moff Gideon wanting to hoover up all of Baby Yoda's midichlorians for some Secret Evil Purpose related to the future of the Empire, and then Mando and his crew stumble upon some hosed up looking guy in a tube while Snoke's theme plays over it and a hologram of the the shifty clone doctor who's been popping up every now and then literally goes "Yeah, so this one was a miserable failure, I need more Baby Force blood to get the next one right."

They're being HELLA unsubtle about it.

I remember the scene from mandalorian. Too subtle for me though. I didn't even know there was a Snoke theme, let alone be able to hum a few bars. I just figured the baby Yoda blood for a macguffin. I should have known there are no macguffins in star wars. All lore must be researched, referenced and cross referenced.

Who What Now
Sep 10, 2006

In the cheery brightness of the 41st millennium there is only CHRISTMAS SPIRIT!


Same, I just thought it was a failed Palpatine clone. Snoke is so useless and forgettable that I, well, forgot about him.

Cooked Auto
Aug 4, 2007

If you will not serve in combat, you will serve on the firing line!




Midjack posted:

With sick moves like these, absolutely he does. 2:03 if the link doesn’t jump you there.

The GM for a Star Wars RPG campaign I'm playing in has threatened us with a dance off session for a while now based on that.
And I do mean a while since we're playing the second season of a campaign we played 5 years ago.

Who What Now posted:

Same, I just thought it was a failed Palpatine clone. Snoke is so useless and forgettable that I, well, forgot about him.

I had just assumed it was Moff Gideon who wanted to give himself force powers with it or just another Palpy clone.

Archer666
Dec 27, 2008



Midjack posted:

With sick moves like these, absolutely he does. 2:03 if the link doesn’t jump you there.

Sheev can swing

Finger Prince
Jan 5, 2007

"I think he's watching us..."

"No, it's just the Mountain Peeks."
(Source)



Who What Now posted:

Same, I just thought it was a failed Palpatine clone. Snoke is so useless and forgettable that I, well, forgot about him.

Maybe Snoke is a failed Palpatine clone, and they decided screw it, he'll do for now. It's not like he has to gently caress.

Who What Now
Sep 10, 2006

In the cheery brightness of the 41st millennium there is only CHRISTMAS SPIRIT!


Finger Prince posted:

Maybe Snoke is a failed Palpatine clone, and they decided screw it, he'll do for now. It's not like he has to gently caress.

A Sheev that doesn't gently caress is no Sheev at all

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013




Imagine becoming aware that you're a Sheev clone and you're like "Hell yea, I'm just MADE for fuckin!" and then your handlers are like "Woah there big guy not you!" that's gotta be a bummer

Finger Prince
Jan 5, 2007

"I think he's watching us..."

"No, it's just the Mountain Peeks."
(Source)



Big Beef City posted:

Imagine becoming aware that you're a Sheev clone and you're like "Hell yea, I'm just MADE for fuckin!" and then your handlers are like "Woah there big guy not you!" that's gotta be a bummer

I'd be pretty pissed. Like, puppet master an army cult through my beefcake Chad underling who I treat like poo poo pissed. I'm sure that will never backfire on me when he meets a pretty girl that he'd like to gently caress.

Finger Prince fucked around with this message at 03:32 on Feb 4, 2021

Roach Warehouse
Nov 1, 2010




Who What Now posted:

Same, I just thought it was a failed Palpatine clone. Snoke is so useless and forgettable that I, well, forgot about him.

I liked him until he was a clone/puppet. I liked the idea of just some random space wizard who got himself hosed up by space hubris.

Archer666
Dec 27, 2008



Who What Now posted:

Same, I just thought it was a failed Palpatine clone. Snoke is so useless and forgettable that I, well, forgot about him.

I only remember Snoke as "ugly dude who wore Goldmember's outfit".

reignofevil
Nov 7, 2008


Sometimes you gotta break the rules.


I think this is pretty much right? When I'm more sober I'm gonna clean this up properly

reignofevil
Nov 7, 2008


Sometimes you gotta break the rules.


Some of the stuff at the end got truncated but Im gonna fix it, let me know if you think anything is out of order

fartknocker
Oct 28, 2012

Damn it, this always happens. I think I'm gonna score, and then I never score. It's not fair.




Wedge Regret

reignofevil posted:

Some of the stuff at the end got truncated but Im gonna fix it, let me know if you think anything is out of order

The “attempt to exterminate the bug people” bit goes between “allows rebellion to ferment” and “get ambitious middle manager,” as it’s from Rebels which is five years before Rogue One/A New Hope.

Ghost Leviathan
Mar 2, 2017

Exploration is ill-advised




Roach Warehouse posted:

I liked him until he was a clone/puppet. I liked the idea of just some random space wizard who got himself hosed up by space hubris.

I still think at some point he was meant to be Darth Plagueis, a revival or clone, since that was the kind of stuff he was explicitly interested in, and Snoke has a snippet of the Plagueis theme in TFA. Hell, possible that TRoS Palpatine was originally meant to be Plagueis instead, especially since the whole cloning thing is far more up his alley, but they changed it in a complete panic.

Nebakenezzer
Sep 13, 2005

The Mote in God's Eye



So in attack of the clones, when Count Douku ties up Obi-wan and talks about a dark conspiracy to create a death star, etc, for a few moments my narrative starved brain leapt at the possibility that Douku was actually the good guy, and the Jedi would be used to destroy the good guy because they seem dumb and easily mislead. That didn't happen of course, and I haven't cared much ever since

As someone who doesn't know why a Naboo senator somehow became a dark lord of the Sith, I always figured his plan was to play this rotten sorta democracy (?) like a fiddle because he was the first bad guy to appear in 5 or six hundred years and it turns out engineering out psychopaths/sociopaths was like raising someone in a sterile environment - you've just made the body politic more vulnerable to them

Frankly the republic government was so corrupt and ineptly run (as seen in the thing I've seen, Clone Wars, where entire armies are mysteriously created and aliens with ancient rights are allowed to basically control whole economic sectors) that it's difficult not to think imperial rule was gonna work better

Also as someone who's only seen the first movie of the new trilogy....

You are telling me the head bad guy in that movie was normal sized, and just projecting himself to be gigantic because that's how he rolled?

Will this master plan of palpatine acknowledge that the one time Palpaitine crafted a rational plan (lure concentrated rebel fleet into a fight, reveal death star is operational, trap fleet between hammer of battle station and anvil of imperial fleet), pulls it off, and then is defeated by a combination of factors, the single biggest of which is he was blindsided by the guerilla warfare capability of sentient teddy bears

reignofevil
Nov 7, 2008


Sometimes you gotta break the rules.


All just puppets dancing on the string of his genius.

Finger Prince
Jan 5, 2007

"I think he's watching us..."

"No, it's just the Mountain Peeks."
(Source)



Palpatine hosed a Gungan and that's why he had to get the gently caress off Naboo and his eternal shame is what drove him to the dark side to become a Sith lord.

Horizon Burning
Oct 23, 2019



Ghost Leviathan posted:

I still think at some point he was meant to be Darth Plagueis, a revival or clone, since that was the kind of stuff he was explicitly interested in, and Snoke has a snippet of the Plagueis theme in TFA. Hell, possible that TRoS Palpatine was originally meant to be Plagueis instead, especially since the whole cloning thing is far more up his alley, but they changed it in a complete panic.

mcdiarmid himself admitted he was only brought on to tros like twelve months before release so something was going on

Fantastic Foreskin
Jan 6, 2013

A golden helix streaked skyward from the Helvault. A thunderous explosion shattered the silver monolith and Avacyn emerged, free from her prison at last.



To think Palpatine had a clearer and more coherent plan than disney all along.

nine-gear crow
Aug 10, 2013

low vis




Some Goon posted:

To think Palpatine had a clearer and more coherent plan than disney all along.

None of the three trilogies had a cohesive plan for being made, time has simply divorced us from the truth.

Also George Lucas wanted to make a TV show about Palpatine cruelly getting his heart ripped in half by a woman Ralph Wiggum style, so add that one to the list too.

Sanguinia
Jan 1, 2012

#RXT REVOLUTION~!
2000





Horizon Burning posted:

mcdiarmid himself admitted he was only brought on to tros like twelve months before release so something was going on

Its always going to be a question what percentage of Rise was because of panicked course correction because of fanboy crying and what percentage was the suits just really hating Trevaro's script and needing to redo a huge chunk of their last movie in a very small window.

Personally despite the several shits Rise takes on Last Jedi I think a lot less of it is because of fanboy handjobs than people think, because at the end of the day TLJ made a billion dollars AND was 4th in home video sales for 2018, only about 400k units and 2 million bucks in revenue behind 1st place Black Panther. Disney had no reason to care about bitchy fanboys when the actual money did not bear out their crying.

Really I think most of Rise is just because JJ is a petty man and couldn't stand to have to write a Part 3 to someone else's Part 2 and therefore needed to cram his own Part 2 in there.

Ghost Leviathan
Mar 2, 2017

Exploration is ill-advised




A key thing with all the Sith we see is that they generally have a specific specialty. Which is usually literally spelled out in their name. Darth Vader is a terror weapon, Darth Maul is an assassin, Darth Plagueis specialised in unethical biological sciences and probably bioweapons, and Darth Sidious uses politics. (and of course he's the one who successfully takes over the galaxy and creates an empire in his name)

Horizon Burning posted:

mcdiarmid himself admitted he was only brought on to tros like twelve months before release so something was going on

That really would explain a lot. You know, it would explain even more if Disney was just absolutely opposed to directly acknowledging anything from the prequels.

Archer666
Dec 27, 2008



Ghost Leviathan posted:

A key thing with all the Sith we see is that they generally have a specific specialty. Which is usually literally spelled out in their name. Darth Vader is a terror weapon, Darth Maul is an assassin, Darth Plagueis specialised in unethical biological sciences and probably bioweapons, and Darth Sidious uses politics. (and of course he's the one who successfully takes over the galaxy and creates an empire in his name)


What about Darth Icky?

Horizon Burning
Oct 23, 2019



the other thing about palpatine in tros was the listing for matt smith. there was a persistent rumor that he would be playing a 'young palpatine.' he got listed on official cinema sites and such (including disney's own) in the lead-up to release. then his name was quietly struck. it wouldn't surprise me if the rumor was true. something that palpatine would suck energy from rey and kylo and become young and revitalised. then they brought in mcdiarmid and reshot that whole sequence.

nine-gear crow
Aug 10, 2013

low vis




Sanguinia posted:

Really I think most of Rise is just because JJ is a petty man and couldn't stand to have to write a Part 3 to someone else's Part 2 and therefore needed to cram his own Part 2 in there.

There's just too many small little moments that really come across as JJ himself being mad about and wanting to undo the big bold choices from The Last Jedi, and off the top of my head the glaring ones are the space duct tape around Anakin's lightsaber, Luke catching the lightsaber when Rey throws it and going "oh come on now", sending Rose to go stand in the corner behind Dominic Monaghan for the whole movie, and making Kylo Ren the redemptive second banana to another space monster rather than letting take center stage AS the space monster.

It was at once as cowardly as it was pouty and that's the big thing keeping me from liking it as a movie and a conclusion to its trilogy. People go "oh, well how can you be mad about ROS breaking its predecessor's toys when TLJ did the same to TFA?" and my answer it that's it's the middle part of a trilogy, that's supposed to be the place where you upend poo poo in order to make the final part interesting. It's called storytelling. It doesn't work when you try to flip the table back over and rely on magical thinking to somehow cause the pieces to fly back into the positions you want/need them to be. The real fatal mistake of ROS, however, was JJ getting the harebrained idea that it needed to wrap up nine movies worth of content instead of just wrapping up three like Return of the Jedi and Revenge of the Sith do.


Horizon Burning posted:

the other thing about palpatine in tros was the listing for matt smith. there was a persistent rumor that he would be playing a 'young palpatine.' he got listed on official cinema sites and such (including disney's own) in the lead-up to release. then his name was quietly struck. it wouldn't surprise me if the rumor was true. something that palpatine would suck energy from rey and kylo and become young and revitalised. then they brought in mcdiarmid and reshot that whole sequence.

Part of me would have loved to see a proper 2-on-1 lightsaber fight between Matt Smith Palpatine and Rey and Ben, but the rest of me wants to kick that part of me in the taint for being the same kind of idiot fanboy I now really kinda hate.

nine-gear crow fucked around with this message at 09:35 on Feb 5, 2021

nine-gear crow
Aug 10, 2013

low vis




Also disregard that last post and just add
  • Suck my granddaughter and great-grandson(?)'s souls out and become young again make a sickass coat with them.

to the list instead.

Archer666
Dec 27, 2008



Also I think we forgot that one time that Sheev went to a random backwater planet to randomly impregnate a random slave using Sheev magic.



Oh Sheev!

Ghost Leviathan
Mar 2, 2017

Exploration is ill-advised




Especially wild since I'm p sure it was meant to be heavily implied Plagueis created Anakin through dark bio magic

But Disney can't have anything important happen unless a Well Known Character is involved

nine-gear crow
Aug 10, 2013

low vis




Look, all we’re saying is that thanks to JJ Abrams, Rey is now Ben Solo’s aunt and yes she totally hosed him because we need to chase that Game of Thrones money—oh, what’s that? That series ALSO had a dogshit franchise derailing ending? Oh.

Well I’m glad the two dipshits behind that cockup will never get to direct their own... *checks notes*... Star Wars... movie.










































oh.

PoptartsNinja
May 9, 2008

He is still almost definitely not a spy




Soiled Meat

I hosed up a detail

PoptartsNinja posted:

- Cartoon Rabbit uses Queen Senator's authority in absentia to destroy democracy.

karmicknight
Aug 21, 2011


EEEEEEEY YO

+ Create regional governor organization with own separate culture and newspeak from the rest of the empire.
+ Build Moffship.
+ Hold Mofference.
+ Use the existence of the bug's superweapon to sweep away the old vestiges of the republic and replace them with this regional governor organization on the basis of fear in said superweapon.
+ I Bid You Dark Greetings.
+ Masks, they gotta come off.

(this should go before "Go fully graveyard smash openly")

Cooked Auto
Aug 4, 2007

If you will not serve in combat, you will serve on the firing line!




nine-gear crow posted:

Well I’m glad the two dipshits behind that cockup will never get to direct their own... *checks notes*... Star Wars... movie.

I honestly think that thing is dead in the water because how much poison the GoT finale and it just ruined their credibility.
I haven't heard a goddamn peep about that thing for at least 1½ to 2 years now.

Ghost Leviathan
Mar 2, 2017

Exploration is ill-advised




Cooked Auto posted:

I honestly think that thing is dead in the water because how much poison the GoT finale and it just ruined their credibility.
I haven't heard a goddamn peep about that thing for at least 1½ to 2 years now.

Between covid and TRoS landing with a crash I'm pretty sure first thing Disney did was take a chainsaw to their yearly movie schedule and that was definitely the first to go.

nine-gear crow
Aug 10, 2013

low vis




Ghost Leviathan posted:

Between covid and TRoS landing with a crash I'm pretty sure first thing Disney did was take a chainsaw to their yearly movie schedule and that was definitely the first to go.

No, it was 100% the universal backlash over how Game of Thrones ended. Kathleen Kennedy apparently fired them shortly after the GoT finale dropped, and Disney and LFL just sat on the news until an opportune moment, namely after their utterly disastrous Austin Film Festival Q&A panel in October of 2019 where they made massive public asses of themselves.

Nebakenezzer
Sep 13, 2005

The Mote in God's Eye



nine-gear crow posted:

No, it was 100% the universal backlash over how Game of Thrones ended. Kathleen Kennedy apparently fired them shortly after the GoT finale dropped, and Disney and LFL just sat on the news until an opportune moment, namely after their utterly disastrous Austin Film Festival Q&A panel in October of 2019 where they made massive public asses of themselves.

Given one of them is the son of a CEO of Goldman Sachs, maybe we can chalk this up to another failure of the Plutocracy

lol, this seems like Palpatine-level planning:

quote:

But an even better analogy comes from Hunter S. Thompson, who famously responded to an impending deadline by ripping the tattered, intoxicated scribblings from his notebook and sending them to his editor, producing his famous article, "The Kentucky Derby Is Decadent and Depraved."

Thompson described his accidental success as “falling down an elevator shaft and landing in a pool full of mermaids.” Well, Benioff and Weiss have swum with the mermaids, and hopefully, they learned how to keep their heads above water, because there’s another elevator shaft down below, and at the bottom is a swamp full of ravenous, flesh-eating Star Wars fans.

I suddenly want a Star War where Darth Giddeious, clearly Hunter S. Thompson, is using his force ability to create chaos and somehow lucks his way into ruling a stellar empire

Nebakenezzer fucked around with this message at 02:14 on Feb 6, 2021

Archer666
Dec 27, 2008



Nebakenezzer posted:


I suddenly want a Star War where Darth Giddeious, clearly Hunter S. Thompson, is using his force ability to create chaos and somehow lucks his way into ruling a stellar empire

We were somewhere around Mos Eisley, in the Tatooine desert, when the spice began to take hold....

Ghost Leviathan
Mar 2, 2017

Exploration is ill-advised




The joke seems too easy that that's basically just Dune.

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Nebakenezzer
Sep 13, 2005

The Mote in God's Eye



Thompson surrounded by those cool imperial guards, except the guard wear robes crafted from hotel curtains

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