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CommonShore
Jun 6, 2014

A true renaissance man




It's Dustin Poirier. He's the best man. Conor may turn out to be a better fighter though, so shall we tune in?

The OP here is going to be a quote of my breakdown, and two fights have changed since then: Matt Frevola fights Arman Tsuarukyan because Haqparast got sick and Aitazaar... well.. had an incident.

So heeeere we go!

CommonShore posted:

A quick turnaround almost made me forget to do my

UFC 257 Breakdown



My first reaction to some of these matchups is “woah, that person is still fighting?” It’s not really a very deep card, as I feel is the tendency with some McGregor cards. But shall we get into it?

Main Event Lightweight Championship Dustin Poirier (+252) vs Conor McGregor (-283)
It’s a rematch folks. Many years ago Conor McGregor secured his shot at Dennis Siver by putting Poirier away in under two minutes. Since then he fought some other fighters, won a few, lost a few, and now is back back again. He most recently took out a diminished Cowboy Cerrone in 40 seconds just over a year ago. McGregor is still good, but he only fought twice during the Trump administration, so it’s hard to measure his career arc. Poirier on the other hand is lining up his 14th fight since he lost the coveted Siver matchup. In that he has gone 11-2 1NC, including a finish of Dustin Gaethje and a decision over Max Holloway for the interim championship. There’s no doubt that Dustin has improved immensely since their first meeting, and that’s something we can see on display in his tactical and strategic game. Does that make him better at fighting now than McGregor is? Probably, but McGregor hasn’t taken nearly as much damage as Poirier (see his most recent fight against Dan Hooker), and he has a tendency just to manage to pull poo poo off and make it look like magic. But don’t let the betting line fool you: the stupid people money is in on McGregor, so Poirier is probably a good value bet.

Lightweight Dan Hooker (-127) vs Michael Chandler (+114)
Hooker is of the New Zealand-based City Kickboxing gym, which right now is one of the top in the world, with Izzy Adesanya and Alex Volkanovski holding titles. Hooker is probably the third-best guy there. Last time out he lost a hard-fought and extremely action-packed split decision to Poirier. He’s a tall lanky kickboxer who can put up knees the same way that most of us can throw up jabs. That’s bad for Chandler, who is a multiple-time Bellator champion and one of the purest and stockiest wrestleboxers in the sport. Chandler has proven over and again that he can hang with guys who can hang in the UFC, most notably putting together a series of banger fights with Eddie Alvarez, who went on to be champ, but this is his big show debut. In a sense Chandler is defending his ranking as elite. He has power, but he’s hittable, and we’ve seen him KOed more than once. Notably, when I assess this fight I keep thinking about Will Brooks, who smashed the poo poo out of Chandler, moonwalked out of Bellator with the belt, and then went on a winless UFC run.

Flyweight Jessica Eye (+103) vs Joanne Calderwood (-109)
This is the worst women’s fight on the card. Both of these women have been at the top of the flyweight division, but haven’t quite made it. Eye got brutally KOed by Valentina for the title and lost a horrifyingly boring split decision to Cynthia Calvillo in June. Favourite personality Jojo Calderwood had a #1 contender spot lined up, but then she risked it for a payday against Jennifer Maia in August, and became the first opponent that Maia has ever finished outside of a Jungle Fights undercard, succumbing to a first-round armbar. Both of them have had career highlights and been in good fights, but that has been a while and the game has moved past them: the last finish either of them has put up was in 2016. I still like Jojo though. She’s cool and Scottish.

Lightweight Matt Frevola (+138) vs Ottman Azaitar (-152)
Frevola has had a hard time getting to the cage lately. He was booked to fight Roosevelt Roberts in September, but then pulled out with an injury. His cornerman got covid before that. He’s an action fighter with crisp hands and a poor sense of self preservation, but with a chin to back it up. He has been in some killer fights, notably with Lando Vannata (which I don’t know how that didn’t get FOTN but whatever). German Azaitar is 2-0 in the UFC and 12-0 overall with quick KOs of Khama Worthy and Teemu Packalen. This fight is a highlight waiting to happen.


Strawweight Marina Rodriguez v(+263) s Amanda Ribas (-300)
This is a likely #1 contender fight at 115. I’m really high on Ribas. She’s 4-0 in the UFC, including a dominant victory over Mackenzie Dern. She has great jits and gorgeous muay thai. In July she submitted Paige VanZant so effortlessly that it could have gone on the “bad booking decisions” list. Rodriguez dropped a split decision to Carla Esparza in July putting her at 2-1-2 (yes, two draws) overall in the UFC. She’s a contender series Brazil product. Her best win is over Tecia Torres. She’s definitely a live underdog in this fight if she can hang with those two.

Prelims (ESPN/ESPN+)
We had a bit of a shakeup so welcome to the line up
157 LB Catchweight Matt Frevola vs Arman Tsuarukyan.
Nasrat Haqparast got sick and didn't weigh in. Ottman Azaitar and his team gave his backstage wristband to some random rear end people and got fired from the UFC for it. Lol. So their opponents got matched up. Frevola is an action fighter with crisp hands and a poor sense of preservation, but with a chin to back it up. He has been in some killer fights, notably with Lando Vannata. Tsarukyan is 2-1 in the UFC, losing his debut to Makhachev but then taking decisions over OAM and Davi Ramos after that.

Lightweight Nasrat Haqparast (+257)vs Arman Tsarukyan(-275)
Mini Gastelum is back! Haqparast is a pretty well-rounded lightweight with good power in his hands. He’s 4-2 in the UFC, winning a decision in August, but getting KOed by a surging Drew Dober before that. Tsarukyan is 2-1 in the UFC, losing his debut to Makhachev but then taking decisions over OAM and Davi Ramos after that. This seems pretty competitive.


Middleweight Brad Tavares (-122) vs Antonio Carlos Jr (+112)
Tavares is still fighting? (he’s the first of “that dude still exists wtf” on this card. Tavares is super duper journeyman gatekeeper to the top half of middleweight. He comes from the season of TUF that was Chuck vs Tito and that Court McGee won. This is like his 19th UFC fight or something. Last time out Edmen Shahbazyan KOed him in the first, and he lost a decision to Izzy before that. Huh. He TKOed Jotko before that. Antonio “Shoeface” is a TUF Brazil product who won as a heavyweight and then immediately dropped two divisions. He’s now on a two-fight skid vs Hall and Heinish. He’s mostly a jits guy, and he’s fun to watch when he gets that going.

Bantamweight Julianna Pena (+113) vs Sara McMann (-120)
More of the “they’re still around?” theme. Pena won the first Women’s TUF and then one four straight, but then got submitted by Valentina, before Val’s Bantamweight title shot. She’s 1-1 since then, most recently getting guillotined to sleep by GDR in October (feels like longer honestly). Olympic silver medallist wrestler McMann was the second woman to face Rousey in the UFC, and the first person to lose to her by anything other than armbar (putting a very funny series of events into motion to be honest). Her career and life has been a sad and winding road since then, including death and bad tattoos. She’s a pretty good grappler. Her last fight was a decision over Lina Lansberg in January 2020.

Light Heavyweight Khalil Rountree Jr (-321) vs Marcin Prachino (+279)
K1 Rountree is back! I thought he retired! Rountree was the runner up on an almost entirely forgotten season of TUF (losing to Andrew Sanchez, below) and just coasted in the middle of the division for a bit until moving to Thailand. He then came back and started KOing dudes, including uber decorated kickboxer Gohan Saki (also very funny). He is 1-2 in his last 3, with KO losses to Johnny Walker and Ion Cutelaba. Prachino is 0-3 in the UFC, with 3 first-round KO losses, including to Sam Alvey.

Early Prelims (ESPN+/Fight Pass)
Middleweight Andrew Sanchez (+123) vs Makhmud Muradov (-135)
Sanchez’s road since winning TUF hasn’t been better than Rountree’s has been since losing it, going 5-3 UFC. His last time out he KOed Wellington Turman. He’s mostly a wrestler I guess. Muradov is the first one to take me to Tapology on this card. He’s a 24-6 Uzbek who has wins over Trevor Smith and Alessio Di Chirico. poo poo – I don’t know him but he might be a good value pick if you’re a gambler.

150 lb Movsar Evloev (-475) vs Nik Lentz (+444)
Nik Lentz is another “this guy still exists?” fighter. This is his 25th UFC fight. He started his career as an atrociously boring wrestler who just kept winning, and I kinda liked him back then because of the John Fitch weirdness factor and the temper tantrums he caused. Like John Fitch, Lentz has gotten brain worms and so the less said about him the better. He’s 0-2 in his last two with losses to Arnold Allen and Do Bronx, so he might still be dangerous, since those guys aren’t slouches. Evloev is 13-0 overall and 3-0 in the UFC (all UD.) Lentz is a gigantic step up in terms of opponent quality for him, so Lentz might be a live dog here, but then you’re betting on Nik Lentz so gently caress that.

Flyweight Amir Albazi (-102) vs Zhalgas Zhumagulov (-109)
Our only all-tapology fight of the night. Albazi is a Swede with a 13-1 record. He won his UFC debut via triangle in July. Zhumagulov is an Uzbek who got kicked in the nuts on his way to a decision loss to Raulian Paiva in his UFC debut. He’s 13-4 overall including a b-league win over former UFC title challenger Ali Bagautinov.

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Mekchu
Apr 10, 2012



Dan "The Hangman" Hooker is, as his nickname suggests, hung.

Digital Jedi
May 28, 2007

Wow....that feels good






Fallen Rib

Mekchu posted:

Dan "The Hangman" Hooker is, as his nickname suggests, hung.

If he comes out on a horse I might root for him in the fight.

NObodyNOWHERE
Apr 24, 2007

Now we are all sons of bitches.


Hell Gem

I've heard there's good money in being a hung Hooker.

I would blow Dane Cook
Dec 26, 2008


Remember don't watch an illegal stream cause Dana White is tapping your phone.

Digital Jedi
May 28, 2007

Wow....that feels good






Fallen Rib

Fancy new graphics for tale of the tape.

Brut
Aug 21, 2007

Герой Советского Союза



Digital Jedi posted:

If he comes out on a horse I might root for him in the fight.

It would have to be a camel, for obvious reasons.

Hollandia
Jul 27, 2007

rattus rattus




Grimey Drawer

Dana White's anti-streaming Pinkertons are standing by

CommonShore
Jun 6, 2014

A true renaissance man




Hollandia posted:

Dana White's anti-streaming Pinkertons are standing by

Put on your balaclava

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?


I would blow Dane Cook posted:

Remember don't watch an illegal stream cause Dana White is tapping your phone.

I hope they cut to picture in picture of Dana White at a keyboard hacking the gibson, and at a pivotal moment he stands up so he can hack faster.

Shirkelton
Apr 6, 2009

I'm not loyal to anything, General... except the dream.


Dana's going to go out like Richard Ames when the hackers fight back.

Shirkelton
Apr 6, 2009

I'm not loyal to anything, General... except the dream.


Quick turnaround for Nik Lentz, who last fought at the start of the month, on the 6th.

MassRafTer
May 26, 2001

Fundamentals as sound as the WNBA


Nik Lentz making it this long in the UFC after Dana hated his guts 10 years ago is pretty wild.

I would blow Dane Cook
Dec 26, 2008


I remember watching a stream of a boxing fight on facebook live and the guy streaming it was arguing with his cable company on the phone because they wanted him to take the stream down.

Shirkelton
Apr 6, 2009

I'm not loyal to anything, General... except the dream.


I would blow Dane Cook posted:

I remember watching a stream of a boxing fight on facebook live and the guy streaming it was arguing with his cable company on the phone because they wanted him to take the stream down.

I think that happened in Australia, as well. Nothing compared to the guy who went onto Twitch, livestreamed the fights and held a controller so it looked like he was playing EA's UFC 3.

I would blow Dane Cook
Dec 26, 2008


Shirkelton posted:

I think that happened in Australia, as well. Nothing compared to the guy who went onto Twitch, livestreamed the fights and held a controller so it looked like he was playing EA's UFC 3.

That was that Anthony Mundine fight haha.

Shirkelton
Apr 6, 2009

I'm not loyal to anything, General... except the dream.


I would blow Dane Cook posted:

That was that Anthony Mundine fight haha.

Yeah, it was Mundine vs Green, I think. Nice guys in real life.

MassRafTer
May 26, 2001

Fundamentals as sound as the WNBA


Would've been so great if Lentz got that choke.

I would blow Dane Cook
Dec 26, 2008


https://twitter.com/nis4r/status/1352687997263740928

I would blow Dane Cook
Dec 26, 2008


Does anyone remember the UFC thread when Connor McGregor attacked that bus? I don't think i've laughed that hard in years.

Nierbo
Dec 4, 2010


drat this is a fight.

Digital Jedi
May 28, 2007

Wow....that feels good






Fallen Rib

I would blow Dane Cook posted:

Remember don't watch an illegal stream cause Dana White is tapping your phone.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kJIJmtgBkT8

Hollandia
Jul 27, 2007

rattus rattus




Grimey Drawer

Ya Boiv Evloev

Ratios and Tendency
Apr 23, 2010

MURALI



Lentz really wearing this damage.

NObodyNOWHERE
Apr 24, 2007

Now we are all sons of bitches.


Hell Gem

Lentz looks gassed as hell.

Radical 90s Wizard
Aug 5, 2008

~SS-18 burning bright,
Bathe me in your cleansing light~


try another guillotine Nick, surely this time you'll get him

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?


I would blow Dane Cook posted:

Does anyone remember the UFC thread when Connor McGregor attacked that bus? I don't think i've laughed that hard in years.

The whole thread was incredible but:

Triticum Guzzler posted:

Dr Alan Grant tearfully watching several Irish men travelling in herds across the plains of New York: They did use a hand cart and various folding chairs...

is still one of the funniest posts I've ever read

SuppressdPuberty93
Nov 11, 2013



"Professional futures trader" lmao

NObodyNOWHERE
Apr 24, 2007

Now we are all sons of bitches.


Hell Gem

Evloev looked great. I think Lentz needs to retire.

Shirkelton
Apr 6, 2009

I'm not loyal to anything, General... except the dream.


Stop the count!

MassRafTer
May 26, 2001

Fundamentals as sound as the WNBA


Cool fight glad one judge decided Lentz spamming guillotines was enough to win.

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?


If he wanted a higher ranked fighter, he should have told Dana he was streaming the PPV illegally.

Dr.Radical
Apr 3, 2011


Evloev seems like a nice young man. So did that Kazakh guy. Too bad he lost

LobsterMobster
Oct 29, 2009

"I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"


were the 2 early prelims worth going back to watch?

Ratios and Tendency
Apr 23, 2010

MURALI



MassRafTer posted:

Cool fight glad one judge decided Lentz spamming guillotines was enough to win.

Wait what did 1 judge seriously give it to Lentz???

Shirkelton
Apr 6, 2009

I'm not loyal to anything, General... except the dream.


Jerusalem posted:

The whole thread was incredible but:


is still one of the funniest posts I've ever read

Khabib never did get to see Tony in his DayMares....

MassRafTer
May 26, 2001

Fundamentals as sound as the WNBA


LobsterMobster posted:

were the 2 early prelims worth going back to watch?

Yes.


Ratios and Tendency posted:

Wait what did 1 judge seriously give it to Lentz???

Also yes.

Troy Queef
Jan 12, 2013

I was 12 when I made love for the first time, in Tropea, with a Roman girl who was 17 years old.





Shirkelton posted:

Khabib never did get to see Tony in his DayMares....

I bought a I’M THE TYPE OF GUY TO ROCK A TONY FERGUSON SHIRT shirt today, mostly because I have disposable income now and it was $25 with shipping

BlindSite
Feb 8, 2009

RIP Blindsite
He Never Scored


I do love Khalil Rountree because either he looks like a striking beast or gets slept.

Always worth tuning in.

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Shirkelton
Apr 6, 2009

I'm not loyal to anything, General... except the dream.


Troy Queef posted:

I bought a I’M THE TYPE OF GUY TO ROCK A TONY FERGUSON SHIRT shirt today, mostly because I have disposable income now and it was $25 with shipping

Very nice, I bought a Bobby Knuckles shirt mid-last year and have only just heard that it is shipping.

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