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Zippy the Bummer
Dec 14, 2008

pro hobo

Silent Majority
THE DON







I will probably die by aspirating my own spittle and choking on it while walking by myself through a field. the buzzards will be the first to find me, and by the time my family locates my corpse (because of the circling buzzards) my face will be unrecognizable due to the vultures eating my eyes, tongue, cheeks, and other soft tissues not covered by a thick coat or denim. it will have to be a closed-casket funeral.

either that or cancer, or liver failure

how will you go out?



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Asshole Rose
Dec 28, 2017


im gay

Inexplicable Humblebrag
Sep 20, 2003



idk but i doubt i'll enjoy it

TheReverend
Jun 21, 2005



Heart failure

Lil Swamp Booger Baby
Feb 17, 2011

meat




Getting sugged off.

Pennywise the Frown
May 10, 2010



Upset Trowel

95% sure suicide.

Mafic Rhyolite
Nov 7, 2020


Probably civil unrest or suicide in a post-climate change world, I'll probably be a little too old to survive on my own without any real connections to other people to care about me and help me survive so a bag full of helium is preferable to death from exposure or starvation.

Saalkin
Jun 29, 2008

GREAT RACK



Pennywise the Frown posted:

95% sure suicide.

Same

Pennywise the Frown
May 10, 2010



Upset Trowel


Honestly.

Professor Shark
May 22, 2012




Nice call out thread, op

Pimpcasso
Mar 13, 2002

We're still wearing the fucking hats!


Heart disease

Professor Shark
May 22, 2012




Climate Change related death, close thread, have a drink/ mocktail/ go to a meeting, whatever is your thing

ELI PORTER
Sep 16, 2007

I posted on Something Awful and all I got was this lousy t-shirt


one way or another, it will be with "my rear end to the wind", if you catch my drift op

Jabberlock
Nov 29, 2014





run out of 1-ups

Nigmaetcetera
Nov 17, 2004

Sorry guys, I'm just a donut.



Torn apart by a pack of adorable teacup poodle puppies.

gimme the GOD DAMN candy
Jul 1, 2007


sadness, prolly

Alucard
Mar 11, 2002


Pillbug

Freak posting accident

Lil Swamp Booger Baby
Feb 17, 2011

meat




In the afterlife I will die again but getting fugged off.

clean ayers act
Aug 13, 2007

How do I shot puck!?

probably hit by a car riding my bike out on some country road and the driver drives off

Supreme Allah
Oct 6, 2004

working from home


Nap Ghost

tossed off a 16' cage by Undertaker would be my choice. actually it'll be a single car accident cause I can't drive.

Dumb Sex-Parrot
Dec 24, 2020



Hopefully in my sleep after living a long fulfilling life of contentment.

twistedmentat
Nov 21, 2003

What's a war hero got to do to get some lubrication around here?



Alone, probably horny.

oh dope
Nov 2, 2006

No guilt, it feeds in plain sight


I not even 40 and I'm on Xarelto for the rest of my life. I've got a genetic blood clotting issue, which I found out about when it drat near killed me last spring. I figure that'll do me in at some point in the future.

Amorphous Abode
Apr 2, 2010


We may have finally found unobtainium but I will never find eywa.



Round one failure on a dystopian game show.

DarkSoulsTantrum
Apr 6, 2011

this kills the crab

Sure, they're visually impressive, but a lot of posters find large avatars physically uncomfortable. Furthermore, the owners of large avatars often rely on their size alone and don't bother to develop more refined posting techniques.




Loss of blood to the brain on account of my huge boner.

Chinatown
Sep 11, 2001

~*Suck My Balls*~

Fun Shoe

probably the forums shutting down and then soon after, all of my organs simultaneously.

i live to post, you see

Pot Smoke Phoenix
Aug 15, 2007

Smoke 'em if you got 'em!



Dinosaur Gum

I will be the first human being to overdose on weed

Lil Swamp Booger Baby
Feb 17, 2011

meat




Pot Smoke Phoenix posted:

I will be the first human being to overdose on weed

Weed is gonna overdose on u

GolfHole
Feb 26, 2004



probably abba

Jabberlock
Nov 29, 2014





Dumb Sex-Parrot posted:

Hopefully in my sleep after living a long fulfilling life of contentment.

hosed up

Benjamin Disraeli
Oct 19, 2005
You Don't Even Know Who I Am!

snoo snoo

Jabberlock
Nov 29, 2014





entropy

AHH F/UGH
May 25, 2002



that assumes I ever really lived

Jabberlock
Nov 29, 2014





of a broken heart

shortly after being shot in the chest

gleebster
Dec 16, 2006

Only a howler

Pillbug

Some vulgar little tumor or other.

Wall Balls
Jun 3, 2007

Spanish Castle Magic



some zoomer is gonna dome me from a hidden position in the great after time wasteland

satanic splash-back
Jan 28, 2009



drowning in semen

nishi koichi
Feb 16, 2007

everyone feels that way and gives up.
that's how they get away with it.


covid, suicide, or overdose

Xaintrailles
Aug 14, 2015



Asphyxiated, frozen, and more alone than anyone has ever been - on Proxima Centauri c atop the corpse of a slain elder god.

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Haschel Cedricson
Jan 4, 2006

Brinkmanship


Heart disease.

Also for anybody who is jokingly posting "suicide", I know from experience that if you keep making these jokes to yourself for a long time then eventually they stop being jokes and before you've even noticed it you find yourself just sort of accepting it.

I'm not saying don't joke about it but seriously monitor how much it comes up.

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