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Fungah!
Apr 30, 2011



the other thread reminded me about this, but i fuckin love weird, janky games and some of the stuff no one's ever heard of. what are the deepest cuts you've played or the coolest janky games you can think of?

deepest cut for me is probablty spanky's quest, which was one of the first two games i got for my snes along with ff2. you play as a monkey who has to bounce bubbles on his head and pop them to release balls that can kill enemies. you have to run around grabbing keys to unlock doors to the next level, of which there are fifty and six boss fights. i remember it kicking a lot of rear end, although i usually gave up around level 30 or so because the game's really fuckin long

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vGWQPWNK_2w

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Martman
Nov 20, 2006

SEXY... defines my posts and my ride


Meridian 59 is I guess the first MMO or something, and I thought the demo seemed super cool and full of jank

I was like 8 though so I couldn't actually subscribe, felt like I missed out

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y4O0yBrhiBY

P-Mack
Nov 10, 2007



I know Herzog Zwei is kind of famous, but I also dicked around once with the original MSX Herzog, which was set up where there's a split screen with a single linear path, and you spawn units at the bottom that start walking up the screen to your opponent. You can pick them up and drop them further ahead to try to bunchup units or leapfrog defenses and stuff. I remember there was a really expensive ICBM weapon that very slowly moves offscreen on the minimap but once it reaches the enemy base it's an instawin.

Think it's kind of neat that it's produced it's more open free-form sequel, arguably the first game in the RTS genre, that eventually birthed the MOBA genre, that brought back AI units on lanes and controlling a single super unit.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MU2FDnKzt5I

FactsAreUseless
Feb 16, 2011



I mentioned it in the other thread, but Wizards and Warriors 3 for the NES is underrated. It tried to do a lot more than it could pull off with an NES cart. It has Metroid-style open levels and a class system, so the game is all about performing quests and finding secrets to unlock the powers you get with new classes to get around more of the map. Unfortunately it's pretty obtuse and has no password or save system, so you were doomed to repeating big stretches of the game again and again if you wanted to ever beat it.

I'm hoping it ends up in the Switch NES games so people can play it with save states. I think it deserves to be rediscovered.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kuc1E-QEA6U

Edit:

quote:

Upon saving a princess, she asks Kuros to marry her, prompting a yes/no response for the player; if the player selects "no", the princess responds with "If you refuse, my heart will surely break!" and prompts the yes/no response again - similar to the "but thou must" response in Dragon Warrior. In addition, as all three princesses will have committed to marrying all three forms of Kuros, the original plan for the game's ending was for the three princesses to come together and see their heroes whom they were going to marry, only to find out all three princesses promised to marry the same person. To rectify the situation, Pickford called for what he referred to as "the ultimate cheapo cop-out", where a UFO abducts Kuros with a teleport beam, sending him into the future and setting the stage for the next sequel which would have been called Lasersword. However, this never came to be.

FactsAreUseless fucked around with this message at 19:57 on Jan 26, 2021

Bicyclops
Aug 27, 2004

You can't take it with you, you know.



Lol

a Loving Dog
May 12, 2001
Probation
Can't post for 4 hours!


Spanky's Quest ftw.

Kongming
Aug 30, 2005



The first Siren game, which is incredibly long for a survival horror game. It has a dozen playable characters, non-chronological storytelling, two different missions per stage, secondary objectives that you have to unlock as a different character often doing bizarre things, awkward combat, immortal enemies, and you have to open a special "list menu" to do anything from picking up an item to pushing over a stone marker. I've sung this game's praises before and will continue to do so.

Siren 2 only had half as many playable characters but they were each more fleshed out, dumped the list menu, and made the combat much easier. But it lacks a certain charm that the first one had.

Quarterroys
Jul 1, 2008



Battle of Olympus on NES was an underrated game, like a mix of Zelda 2/Castlevania 2 gameplay but in Ancient Greece

you got a club that shot fire, hermes sandals, and a bunch of other cool gear from doing tasks for all the greek gods

i remember there being a lovely part where you had to grind for a bunch of money to buy an ocarina to summon some dolphins to ride, but overall a good game

https://youtu.be/6E9E4o_IPhA

trying to jack off
Dec 31, 2007



P-Mack posted:

I know Herzog Zwei is kind of famous, but I also dicked around once with the original MSX Herzog, which was set up where there's a split screen with a single linear path, and you spawn units at the bottom that start walking up the screen to your opponent. You can pick them up and drop them further ahead to try to bunchup units or leapfrog defenses and stuff. I remember there was a really expensive ICBM weapon that very slowly moves offscreen on the minimap but once it reaches the enemy base it's an instawin.

Think it's kind of neat that it's produced it's more open free-form sequel, arguably the first game in the RTS genre, that eventually birthed the MOBA genre, that brought back AI units on lanes and controlling a single super unit.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MU2FDnKzt5I

christ, its somehow even worse than i remember

Larry Parrish
Jul 9, 2012


I still think Original War is one of the most ambitious RTS games ever made. It's like the opposite of Total Annihilation or Supreme Commander. You have a really limited squad of goons and they're a crucial resource and their levels are preserved between missions and poo poo. So is your resources and how you have the bases set up.

On the other hand it's a janky Eastern European game from 2001. Basically every isometric game of that time had godawful pathfinding and this one is no exception. The actual soldiers move pretty well but squads of vehicles are like, starcraft dragoon tier. And they get stuck on trees and rocks and poo poo when it seems like they shouldn't. A forest map is a loving nightmare. Overall it's a really cool game though, I even made a thread on it here

Bicyclops
Aug 27, 2004

You can't take it with you, you know.


Silent Hill: Shattered Memories is an actually good game IMO despite its flaws and jank and i'm sad most people slept on it.

herculon
Sep 7, 2018



I sunk many hours into Dungeons & Dragons Tactics for the PSP

Pablo Nergigante
Apr 16, 2002



Bicyclops posted:

Silent Hill: Shattered Memories is an actually good game IMO despite its flaws and jank and i'm sad most people slept on it.

Is that the one thatís like a remake of the first game? I still to this day have not played a single Silent Hill game

NienNunb
Feb 15, 2012



https://twitter.com/good_faces_bot/status/1354277977773600769?s=21

The Kins
Oct 2, 2004


Sector Effector


everyone here's heard of E.Y.E. Divine Cybermancy, but not mentioning it itt would probably be illegal in at least one state

a personal favorite of mine would be Llamatron 2112, a weirdo mutation of robotron to computers that usually only had one joystick, with all sorts of additions popping up on different stages to keep you on your toes, like powerups, 10 ton weights or a deadly rain you defeat by opening an umbrella.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JgefHDw08IY
(EPILEPSY WARNING do not watch this video if bright flashing fucks your poo poo up, the screen flashes white for a frame when an enemy dies and there's a whole lot of 'em)

Plebian Parasite
Oct 12, 2012



I like to mention Runers whenever I can. It's an action roguelite like nuclear throne or gungeon, but it's based on collecting elemental runes and combining them to create spells. There's something like 500+ unique spells depending on what you combine and you can further pump up your spell attributes by slotting in runes.

I've honestly never made it past the 4th or so floor, but it's pretty fun and very janky.

Bicyclops
Aug 27, 2004

You can't take it with you, you know.


Pablo Nergigante posted:

Is that the one thatís like a remake of the first game? I still to this day have not played a single Silent Hill game

yup. it has basically no combat at all, so it's a little different

Fluoride Jones
Aug 24, 2009


Chameleon Twist 1 and 2 were pretty regular rentals when I was a kid. An otherwise boring platformer which was made slitly interesting by using the character's tongue to spin around to other platforms or eat a bunch of enemies at once

Cubone
May 26, 2011

Because it never leaves its bedroom, no one has ever seen this poster's real face.

Gast is about a cute ghost and has a cool tim burton-y aesthetic

by strictly adventure game standards it's bad in an amazing way- every puzzle can be solved with about 40% of the items in the game

it's 3d on prerendered backgrounds and controlled entirely by the mouse with the expected mid-90's early 3d jank, except it came out in 2002

every character is voiced by a Swedish ESL student trying their best. I'm not trying to be funny by saying that, it's a Swedish-made game and the English audio was just done by Swedish non-voice actors who speak pretty good English
you meet a cat, a rat, a scarecrow, a raven, a man-eating plant- spooky stuff, y'know
the first thing each character usually does is scream at the top of their lungs, and the second thing is hit you (I don't think you can die, you're a ghost), at which point you can start a conversation
they'll scream something like "HI I'M THE SPIDER I LIKE CATS, BATS, GREEN JEWELS, AND APPLES AND I HATE BURNING STICKS, SEEDS, AND PUMPKINS"
and then you can give them literally any of the things they named to solve the puzzle
if it was something they liked, they'll give you a star and follow you around, your new friend
you might think this is all because it's a game for kids, and it is, but if it was something they don't like, you MURDER THEM WITH IT and then you get their star anyway
if they're following you they'll almost definitely die eventually, at which point you get another star, because friend-death is good
there's good outcomes like the headless knight petting the cat but there isn't really a punishment for bad outcomes

you only need to get like 15 stars to beat the final boss, but the more you solve the more of a shot you have because stars are both your life bar and your ammunition. there's probably like 40 stars in the game idk I never tried to optimize it

but it's also really cute
there's an area of the game that's just a darkened spooky carousel and if you start it up it just starts up and you get a star and a little fmv of Gast quietly smiling at the simple delight of watching a carousel
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KFSQ-ObEnMo#t=585s
(9:45-10:25)

Bicyclops
Aug 27, 2004

You can't take it with you, you know.



going to have Skid Row stuck in my head all day now.

Bolverkur
Aug 9, 2012



Duke Nukem: Zero Hour was definitely janky, but the time travel had some very cool stages and the multiplayer was a lot of fun.

frankenfreak
Feb 16, 2007

Almanya Ųnde!
Bir başka hedef!
Sonsuz şef LŲw iÁin zafer!




Quarterroys posted:

Battle of Olympus on NES was an underrated game, like a mix of Zelda 2/Castlevania 2 gameplay but in Ancient Greece

you got a club that shot fire, hermes sandals, and a bunch of other cool gear from doing tasks for all the greek gods

i remember there being a lovely part where you had to grind for a bunch of money to buy an ocarina to summon some dolphins to ride, but overall a good game

https://youtu.be/6E9E4o_IPhA
I love that game. I rented it often, and got a book of Greek myths because of it. But yeah, it had some lovely sections. Grinding for snake skins to upgrade your shields, several grinds for money (and your money halved on every death), at least one long, dangerous trek to buying something (coupled with the money-halving thing extremely annoying).

And it definitely was inspired more by Zelda 2 because the movement always felt veeery similar to me.

Shibawanko
Feb 13, 2013

someday he would have an anchor tattooed on his chest

all big sprite europlatformers are janky and lovely, but i have a weakness for mr nutz for the snes

objectively it sucks, it's just a generic rear end platformer with not very precise hitboxes, big character sprites and bad sound effects but the graphics music and the whole mood really sell it, it's like playing a david the gnome episode:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=arE3hFOQYy8#t=3136s

also love how many secrets there are, the levels are actually well designed for exploring, it's like they made sonic but cut out the "go fast" pretense

Simply Simon
Nov 6, 2010

timeless Ned Flanders style


Bit of a basic reply but I honestly kinda love playing Sonic 2006? It controls like rear end and is severely broken in almost every aspect, but sometimes after laughing your rear end off at yet another dumbfuck glitch, you get into a groove of almost being able to competently steer those soap hogs into the correct directions, the level design actually works for a minute and you pull off a cool intended skip by doing the homing attacks with the right timing, and you forget that the game will cruelly take this feeling away in just five seconds by killing you with a random physics object out of nowhere, and you wonder what could have been



the story is unbelievably bad, don't get me wrong. Still it's not Shadow the Hedgehog which is somehow even stupider, harder to control despite ostensibly working as intended, and has some of the worst 3D platforming level design I've ever experienced. What an rear end game.

Chumbawumba4ever97
Dec 31, 2000



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GUMGK3LVcZk

this was the first and only time I ever had to order a game over the phone. I remember seeing pics of it in Nintendo Power and despite it getting lukewarm reviews, I had to have it for some reason. Absolutely no stores carried it, so I had to order it from out of the back of a GamePro magazine advertisement from some game store on the other side of the country.

I probably wanted it so badly because it looked and controlled like Out of This World, Flashback, etc and I was obsessed with those games at the time. I also loved the idea that the game was pretty much completely different depending on which character you picked.

basically the game is inspired by The Poseidon Adventure and takes place in the early 1900s on a cruise ship. the music is really good, and there's really no other game like it. it's very story-driven but is action for most of the game.

the jank aspect comes from the controls; throughout the game the ship begins to sink and flip upside down so there's a lot of stuff like jumping off a set of stairs that are now on the ceiling will send you to your death

I really like it a lot

a little side note; I sent in the warranty/contest card for the game (I figured I had a good chance since I had to order the game over the phone) and sure enough Vic Tokai sent me a package saying I won and they sent me a bunch of free SNES games. if you want to get an idea of how few people must have purchased this game.

elf help book
Aug 5, 2004

It's not a dream, or a lie.
I know my sister is alive out there.


thats rad

I got the tude now
Jul 22, 2007

What we do have in common is the fact that we're human.

it's like a snes Raw Danger,

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-dOkRfg0NX0

maybe not a super deep cut but it's a classic 'ps2 jank' game. weird robotic movement, doing anything brings up a dialogue window, lots of fun interactivity. technically a comfy game since a primary mechanic is staying warm and dry.

really cinematic in a cool way, you can see how much the devs wanted to emulate a hollywood blockbuster and it pays off. cool game.

NienNunb
Feb 15, 2012



https://youtu.be/bD9kUSaXoXE

Evil Eagle
Nov 5, 2009



Simply Simon posted:

Bit of a basic reply but I honestly kinda love playing Sonic 2006? It controls like rear end and is severely broken in almost every aspect, but sometimes after laughing your rear end off at yet another dumbfuck glitch, you get into a groove of almost being able to competently steer those soap hogs into the correct directions, the level design actually works for a minute and you pull off a cool intended skip by doing the homing attacks with the right timing, and you forget that the game will cruelly take this feeling away in just five seconds by killing you with a random physics object out of nowhere, and you wonder what could have been



the story is unbelievably bad, don't get me wrong. Still it's not Shadow the Hedgehog which is somehow even stupider, harder to control despite ostensibly working as intended, and has some of the worst 3D platforming level design I've ever experienced. What an rear end game.

https://i.imgur.com/Hbgc2n8.mp4

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Schwarzwald
Jul 27, 2004

Don't Blink


Watching speedrunners play Sonic 2006 almost justifies the game.

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