Dumb shit your work does: for some reason in the Diablo font.

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Dumb shit your work does: for some reason in the Diablo font.

mobby_6kl: Aug 9, 2009; by Fluffdaddy

We have our own compute cloud service with good rates for internal uses, but, instead, we're now paying Microsoft :homebrew:

to use theirs so the project owner has to send out reminders when we're using too many hours.

# ¿ Jan 30, 2021 11:03

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# ¿ Apr 26, 2024 19:30

mobby_6kl: Aug 9, 2009; by Fluffdaddy

yaffle posted:

Our school switched from zoom to teams because "zoom is banned in china" (it still works). If you think zoom is irritating, try to imagine a Microsoft version.

Speaking of Teams (we've used it internally for a year or more now) in schools, I was helping a friend prepare for an Algorithms test she's taking at a local college. Their plan was: everyone turns on their cameras, shares the desktops, and has the microphone on, so that they can make sure you're not cheating.

None of that is actually possible, as only one screen can be shared at a time (and you can just share one monitor out of however many you have), you can't see everyone's cameras if there are many people in the meeting (and the feeds are too small to see if you're cheating), and microphones had to be muted because of horrible noises and feedback.

# ¿ Jan 31, 2021 09:38

mobby_6kl: Aug 9, 2009; by Fluffdaddy

Zarin posted:

Ahhh, SAP. *stares wistfully and/or traumatically into the middle distance*

Tickets with SAP Support for what should have been critical issues dragged on for 6 months or longer; it's a good thing I was clever and/or stupid enough to come up with workarounds. It got to the point where I began to lose track of what our process truly was, and what parts of our workflow were workarounds and/or steps that were literally relying on known bugs/flaws/issues with SAP that would throw the entire office into chaos if we ever applied a patch to (finally) correct them.

You can make a lot of money if you know SAP, but goddamn if SAP doesn't make you earn every loving dollar.

Sorry you're too poor for MaxAttention :smug:

# ¿ Jan 31, 2021 14:51

mobby_6kl: Aug 9, 2009; by Fluffdaddy

TotalLossBrain posted:

We got something similar. Somebody does an outstanding job or goes above/beyond, etc - you nominate them and cite good reason. They get anywhere from $300 - $1000 (depending on the impact of their contribution I guess) and it looks good/can be used on annual performance reviews. It's actually pretty nice.
In fact, reading this thread once again makes me realize what a literal exceptional place I work for. I'm familiar with the horror stories, too - I used to to work for really small contractors (zero vacation or sick pay) and private industry (poo poo pay, demoralizing work, no upward mobility, poo poo bosses, creepy coworkers)
I think someone would have to offer me at least 3x more money than I make now just based on convenience/love for the job.

Hang in there goons

We have this system too. It's really good especially for virtual teams or now with WFH because my manager otherwise doesn't follow my day to day stuff very closely. This year I was pretty demotivated in general but managed to get this reward from my manager's manager and one from someone even higher up the chain for a specific project, so hopefully this plus a few success stories will be enough to get over the 3% flat increase that's guaranteed for my country.

Before then covid poo poo I asked to get a company car, he said they'll work on it, but knowing my luck, I'll get it now when I'm literally not allowed to leave the city lol.

# ¿ Mar 9, 2021 09:38

mobby_6kl: Aug 9, 2009; by Fluffdaddy

Yesterday I was invited to a meeting where the organizer, as well as the other person who initiated the topic, straight up said they would not be joining that very meeting, like right in the meeting request. There were some underlings sent instead who knew some details but not WTF is going on at a higher level. This might be the most bizarre that happened recently.

mobby_6kl fucked around with this message at 08:31 on Jun 24, 2021

# ¿ Jun 24, 2021 08:29

mobby_6kl: Aug 9, 2009; by Fluffdaddy

Spatule posted:

German MILF porn, I'm in!

That's a hostile work environment!

# ¿ Jul 2, 2021 14:22

mobby_6kl: Aug 9, 2009; by Fluffdaddy

We've been on Teams for a while but recently I've had some meetings on the calendar I don't always attend.

And Teams helpfully brings up a notification for every single chat message, on the laptop and on the phone. And beeps and vibrates to make sure I don't miss anything.

I'm sure there's a way to get it to shut up, but there's definitely no obvious way to do it, directly from the notification

Steakandchips posted:

MD has a brainwave: desktops and laptops, are expensive, but thin clients are cheap, so lets replace all desktops and laptops with thin clients.

The project starts, it's a poo poo show, every beta tester complains that the clients are slow and poo poo, and productivity is down.

MD has committed to the project and has hung his hat on it, so he can't back down. "It'll be fine in Production."

Project goes live, it's a poo poo show. "Teething issues".

MD shows everyone that he's saved some millions of � in desktop and laptop costs.

MD collects his bonus. MD fucks off to other pastures.

10+ years elapse, the thin clients are still poo poo.

New project starts to migrate everyone to laptops.

The pandemic happens.

Laptops project was deemed a success, thin clients are binned and never spoken of again.

How soon till the process repeats itself post the pandemic? I give it 5 years.

Man a laptop is like $30 per employee per month and you don't have to pay Bezos anything, how much were they expecting to save?

# ¿ Jul 30, 2021 16:48

mobby_6kl: Aug 9, 2009; by Fluffdaddy

Lascivious Sloth posted:

are bonuses an American thing? sounds like a really tricky cheap way to screw over your workforce by having a "bonus" that you may or may not get but was probably taken from your original salary package.

What? No, not at all, seems pretty common in most professional environments. You have your fixed salary plus a variable part that can depend on the comoany, team, or individual performance. YMMV obviously but here you get at least a 100% unless you gently caress up massively. Plus stock grants and other stuff designed to improve retention. Then for revenue generating roles you might have direct target bonuses or straight up commission.

# ¿ Aug 25, 2021 15:52

mobby_6kl: Aug 9, 2009; by Fluffdaddy

RDM posted:

It's also a bullshit way to make leaving more expensive. My bonus is for the calendar year but isn't paid out till May - if you quit before the bonus, you don't get it. If you quit after the bonus, you worked for half a year but won't get next year's bonus for it.

I get paid pretty good so I cant complain, but it is some bullshit.

That's just a lovely rule/employer, the annual bonuses are in May as well but they're part of the ATC so if you quit earlier they're prorated appropriately and paid out with the las paycheck

# ¿ Aug 25, 2021 18:29

mobby_6kl: Aug 9, 2009; by Fluffdaddy

I just set up a brand new laptop and it installed the Nexthink extension into my browser(s) which can't be disabled. Never heard of it.

quote:

Nexthink gives IT unprecedented insight into employees� daily experience with technology � freeing them to progress from reactive problem solving to continuous, proactive optimization. Nexthink provides a central experience hub that delivers real-time, actionable insights into�every employee�and�activity, at�every moment�� across devices, operating systems, and any flexible workplace location.

....

Nexthink then collects activities and metrics such as:

Performance issues, unused software, policy breaches, browser requests and�hundreds of other metrics

WTF us this poo poo. I'm honestly surprised that this got approval to be pushed out to everyone. I don't use this PC for anything that could get me in trouble, but still.

Does anyone know what it really does? Are there any browsers it doesn't work with? Edge, Chrome and Firefox all got bugged.

# ¿ Feb 4, 2022 15:13

mobby_6kl: Aug 9, 2009; by Fluffdaddy

Atopian posted:

How did the bug installation process go?
When you installed the browser? When you opened the browser? When you visited your employer website?

Before trying anything complex, you could uninstall/reinstall a browser, then rename the executable.
Probably won't work, but if it does you've saved time.

It got installed automatically through the usual process that various updates gets pushed out. I saw a notification and then it showed up in the browser. Not sure if it's part of the new Company Portal or whatever.

I actually installed Firefox from scratch after I noticed this extension, and it had it as well. Just like in Edge/Chrome, it wasn't possible to disable the extension through the UI, but I actually managed to just delete the corresponding file from the extension folder. So it's gone from Firefox for now, but we'll see how long that lasts.

mllaneza posted:

Good news, if you have trouble with that laptop then the helpdesk will have extremely detailed historical information on everything that's happened and everything that has changed. As a troubleshooting aid, it puts the tech in the loving Matrix.

Bad news, if Legal didn't quash that poo poo then it's everything but a keylogger for monitoring activity on the laptop. As a monitoring tool it, uh... puts the end user in the loving Matrix.

Our Legal group threw ten colors of poo poo when they heard about it and the rollout at our subsidiary was delayed about six months. Ultimately, not a lot changed in what data was gathered and retained, but that was mostly thanks to the Worker's Councils in Germany - they had already forced a requirement that it can't be used to "automatically gather data that can be used in a disciplinary action". I was pretty impressed by the WC's ability to deliver a hard NO to a megacorp our size over a privacy issue. Score one for the socialist hellscape that is Germany.

For example, I can tell a manager how many of her group's machines have Acrobat installed. I cannot tell her which copies get used how often, and I have an escalation path going back to the home office in Switzerland if she wants to hear "No" in increasingly charming accents.

I was surprised by this because I do work for a German megacorp, so I've no idea how (if) they got this through WC approval. Maybe it's already pretty restricted in terms of what it's collecting, but I haven't seen any communication on this. Actually we have a meeting coming up soon so I'll be happy to bring this up.

goatface posted:

Also, blocking it so it produces no data when they are expecting data will look hella sus to them if they're already being computer fash.

Spying on employees is generally frowned upon, so the computers aren't really locked down and up to this point they'd only really complain if some outdated or unauthorized software was detected.

Anyway I'm not even looking to disable it completley, I don't care if they see how many hours Excel is open (it's all the hours) but sending all browser requests is a bit much for my taste. Hell I could even keep it enabled in the "work" browser.

Azuth0667 posted:

Just use pihole and prevent that loving thing from calling home.

I do have pihole but I don't know if it'd be able to capture everything. And it wouldn't work if I'm away from home.

# ¿ Feb 4, 2022 18:39

mobby_6kl: Aug 9, 2009; by Fluffdaddy

My office used to be next to the customer visit area, which would often have catered lunches for the attendees. I was friends with our PR lady so she'd let us know when the event was over so I'd swoop in and have my free lunch and have some left for my team mates or the next day. Those were the days.

# ¿ Feb 12, 2022 16:17

mobby_6kl: Aug 9, 2009; by Fluffdaddy

Barudak posted:

IT, uh, finds a way

Just use a male to male adapter

# ¿ Feb 19, 2022 10:04

mobby_6kl: Aug 9, 2009; by Fluffdaddy

The mistake was approving the leave request in the first place

# ¿ Feb 22, 2022 18:50

mobby_6kl: Aug 9, 2009; by Fluffdaddy

mobby_6kl posted:

I just set up a brand new laptop and it installed the Nexthink extension into my browser(s) which can't be disabled. Never heard of it.

WTF us this poo poo. I'm honestly surprised that this got approval to be pushed out to everyone. I don't use this PC for anything that could get me in trouble, but still.

Does anyone know what it really does? Are there any browsers it doesn't work with? Edge, Chrome and Firefox all got bugged.

Update on this. Nexthink is gone, I noticed the notification pop up today that it's being uninstalled. The browser extension and services aren't there any more.

I did bring this up as a concern at a workers council meeting last week but I doubt that had any impact yet lol. Either they were just testing the ground or someone else realized this is a potential issue. Or maybe it'll be back tomorrow :iiam:

# ¿ Feb 24, 2022 09:36

mobby_6kl: Aug 9, 2009; by Fluffdaddy

We're in a fairly new office building which is supposed to have some intelligent energy saving poo poo. Which seems to consist of modern thermostats and centrally controlled outside blinds.

I'm not sitting with my back to the West windows and the blinds have been going up and down several times in the last hour or so, but mostly staying up and letting in the afternoon sun right into the office and heating everything up. Very intelligent, now I have to run AC on full blast lol.

# ¿ Jul 17, 2023 15:15

mobby_6kl: Aug 9, 2009; by Fluffdaddy

Salami Surgeon posted:

HR getting mad and sending out dress code emails. I guess someone wore a tshirt.

OTOH I've seen people walking around the office barefoot so it's impossible to say whether dress codes are good or bad;

# ¿ Jul 17, 2023 16:04

mobby_6kl: Aug 9, 2009; by Fluffdaddy

goatface posted:

I walk around the office in socks all the time. It annoys the facilities people. There used to be one guy who went barefoot everywhere, indoors and out, but I've not seen him recently.

I think this makes a good case for HR should having dress code death squads

# ¿ Jul 17, 2023 17:22

mobby_6kl: Aug 9, 2009; by Fluffdaddy

My casual Friday outfit

# ¿ Jul 18, 2023 00:01

mobby_6kl: Aug 9, 2009; by Fluffdaddy

Dang It Bhabhi! posted:

3rd-round on-site interview tomorrow at company headquarters with about 800 people there. The email they sent said this at the bottom:

😎

That's ok, you can wear a suit anyway

# ¿ Jul 20, 2023 13:44

mobby_6kl: Aug 9, 2009; by Fluffdaddy

That's terrible but also kind of hilarious

# ¿ Jul 30, 2023 11:22

mobby_6kl: Aug 9, 2009; by Fluffdaddy

zedprime posted:

In Japan I imagine if you're getting the transfer to Singapore you colossally stupid and or willing to risk it because you've spent the last 5 years working in a closet with no raises.

Singapore is a major business and finance hub so it can be a good career move but obviously depends on your managers not being a bunch psychos like that

# ¿ Jul 31, 2023 19:36

mobby_6kl: Aug 9, 2009; by Fluffdaddy

Serious_Cyclone posted:

The whole concept of justifying your salary based on keystrokes per hour or whatever else pointless KPI management invents needs to die. You justify your salary through what you deliver and the scope of your job responsibilities. If projects are meeting deadlines or calls are getting answered or claims are getting processed, that's it, you just justified your salary. Managers cannot stand wfh because it actually forces them to evaluate their underlings based on their production rather than pointless bullshit like how many consecutive hours you warmed a chair in the main office. It exposes the managers as being the dead weight because outside of touring the office and holding pointless meetings they literally have nothing to do with their day if there isn't an employee somewhere they can harass.

To be fair to the OP, we mostly don't do anything to justify our salaries. As evidenced by posting here during business hours.

# ¿ Aug 10, 2023 15:05

mobby_6kl: Aug 9, 2009; by Fluffdaddy

Why are people booking the largest conference rooms on the floor to sit in by themselves all day? :argh:

I get that nobody wants to sit in the tiny phone booths for more than half an hour but there are plenty smaller rooms if you need to make confidential calls or whatever.

# ¿ Aug 16, 2023 12:50

mobby_6kl: Aug 9, 2009; by Fluffdaddy

SerthVarnee posted:

So is that illegal advice?

No that's free speech!

# ¿ Aug 20, 2023 20:31

mobby_6kl: Aug 9, 2009; by Fluffdaddy

Outrail posted:

They're not wrong. Nobody needs to see what I get up to in a public bathroom staff.

this you?

# ¿ Aug 24, 2023 15:30

mobby_6kl: Aug 9, 2009; by Fluffdaddy

We just had the midyear reviews with our (9-months) interim manager. I pushed for a raise, he said I had a decent case and he'll talk to the big boss.

The next week the new permanent manager was announced and I haven't heard anything back.

:negative:

# ¿ Sep 4, 2023 12:13

mobby_6kl: Aug 9, 2009; by Fluffdaddy

Splicer posted:

"Hi (permanent manager), (interim manager) put me in for a raise to (amount) but it's not showing up. Can you chase HR, thanks."

Yeah, I know, I'll follow up of course. It was just funny because the team's been pestering the big boss about the replacement for months and of course it had to finally happen immediately after the reviews.

# ¿ Sep 4, 2023 13:57

mobby_6kl: Aug 9, 2009; by Fluffdaddy

madeintaipei posted:

Money

$11.50/hr

# ¿ Sep 4, 2023 18:34

mobby_6kl: Aug 9, 2009; by Fluffdaddy

how the gently caress does one even break a toilet seat

# ¿ Sep 21, 2023 15:53

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# ¿ Apr 26, 2024 19:30

mobby_6kl: Aug 9, 2009; by Fluffdaddy

Tetrabor posted:

I have a normal BMI and I've broken three of these seats in the same spot.

I'd blame your company for buying bottom of the barrel products more than anything.

If you break one toilet seat, it's a bad seat. If you break three seats, your rear end :colbert:

# ¿ Sep 22, 2023 16:15

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