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Outrail posted:FYI, if you don't know where a file should go you can save it in the parent folder. Never create additional folders or try to organise things. And if you're making multiple versions of a file just save them all together in the parent folder, but make sure to give them different filenames so you can't find the most current one. Honestly it doesn't even need to be the right folder just save poo poo wherever, someone will figure it out.  Save everything on your desktop. 
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Feb 24, 2021 23:51
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exmachina posted:graveyard always good evening. Said in a Vincent Price voice.
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Mar 25, 2021 17:09
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zedprime posted:Meyers-Briggs, such a peasant methodology. Have you heard of DISC my friend I don't put much stock in personality inventories invented by the pervert who created Wonder Woman.
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Apr 15, 2021 22:50
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Steadiman posted:The downside is that there's usually a lot of "creative directors", representing the company, who all want to have a say in how it all looks. Always people in very expensive looking suits without a single creative bone in their body. I get the feeling they just pipe up to justify their jobs because most of their suggestions, if not wildly impractical (and sometimes downright dangerous), are pretty ridiculous. In most cases I am absolutely certain they know that too. I've had to stand around waiting for hours while six guys in suits argue among themselves over wanting something completely unrelated to what we're doing only to end up doing what we originally planned while they all go "Yes! That's exactly what we had in mind!". It's super weird. These loving lampreys attach themselves to any company that attains a certain size and slowly suck the life from it.
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Apr 27, 2021 16:49
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They should rebrand from "The working and learning company" to "The only place you can send a fax from anymore" and their target demographic should be "the Desperate Faxer".
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Apr 29, 2021 08:46
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90% of agile development is explaining how you're doing agile development wrong. The other 10% is writing stories and scoring points.
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Apr 30, 2021 20:37
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One of the best bosses I ever had was Grimes's dad aka Elon Musk's father-in-law aka X Æ A-XII's grandpa.
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May 1, 2021 01:51
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Maybe if that one guy listened to the podcast and read the newsletter he'd be inspired to work harder. 
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May 5, 2021 17:50
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illionaire posted:I was in an online meeting today and when the presenter shared their screen I saw the Something Awful forums on their browser's shortcuts page. I just want that person to know that I know their shameful secret. Was he telling you you're using Agile wrong?
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May 5, 2021 21:49
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Volmarias posted:We all got a $1000 allowance, with the stipulation that anything we expense to it is in fact company property and must eventually be returned. I assume this is a bluff, but more likely they'll just dock the last paycheck and dare you to figure out how the gently caress to return it instead. Buy the most shameful gamer equipment you can find. LEDs on everything. See if the company still wants it.
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May 7, 2021 04:32
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Barudak posted:Actual thursday meeting "Ok, but is there anyway you can sell less?" Maybe if I got a raise.
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May 15, 2021 05:44
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The best business card I ever had was a metal bottle cap opener that was the same size as a credit card so you could keep it in your wallet. I doubt anyone I gave one to ever lost it because it was so handy.
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May 30, 2021 04:17
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It better be marked as important.
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Jun 2, 2021 21:28
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Line 'em up.
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Jun 21, 2021 19:08
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Bananas in the break room, baby!
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Jun 23, 2021 22:22
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They're installing those Amazon yelling booths.
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Jun 23, 2021 23:05
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Barudak posted:Friends, I've heard our next company party theme described as "Mapplethorpeian" So I googled Mapplethorpe's work, and I think I found your party costume:  https://i.imgur.com/jDZWQtE.jpg
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Jun 24, 2021 12:37
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At IBM in the COVID era there worked two prominent directors of opposite characteristics. One, Unsho, a Director of IT Infrastructure, remained in the office. He ate lunch precisely at noon every day to avoid time theft and never drank intoxicants with his meal. The other director, Tanzan, a Director of Cloud Computing, worked from home. When he felt like eating he ate, and when he felt like sleeping in the daytime he slept. One day Unsho had an unscheduled Zoom call with Tanzan, who was drinking wine at the time, not even a drop of which is supposed to touch the tongue of an IBM employee while on the job. 'Hello, brother,' Tanzan greeted him. 'Won't you have a drink?' 'I never drink during working hours!' exclaimed Unsho solemnly. 'One who does not drink during work is not even human,’ said Tanzan. 'Do you mean to call me inhuman just because I do not indulge in intoxicating liquids!' exclaimed Unsho in anger. Then if I am not human, what am I?' 'A CEO.' answered Tanzan.
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Jun 26, 2021 00:31
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Samuel L. Hacksaw posted:Lmao I implemented 'Agile' on my team. All I did was break my once weekly team meeting into 4 15 minute meetings in the morning and throw out my schedule. Wow, how many Agile Coaches did you have to hire to tell you how to do that?
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Jul 14, 2021 17:35
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Agile is true name magic for business. If you call people Scrum Masters instead of Project Managers they're suddenly able to work twice as hard for half the pay.
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Jul 14, 2021 17:46
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Super Waffle posted:The only thing that makes my job (or at least, my former job) worth doing was seeing how happy the finished product made people as they walked around and experienced everything. Tears of joy, cries of terror, wonder and amazement for millions of people. You're the goatse guy?
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Jul 15, 2021 14:14
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It's great when there's revenue targets attached to your social media accounts when your product is $100,000 generators or whatever that are only useful to maybe two companies on the planet. Management is thinking random people are going to drop $100,000 on something just because they saw a post about it on Twitter.
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Aug 11, 2021 14:22
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AHH F/UGH posted:We're just a corporate office filled with "So Many Books, So Little Time" tea-drinking cat ladies and Live Laugh Love chud women who run dog rescues and poo poo like that. Which one are you?
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Aug 12, 2021 00:53
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I, too, make all my hiring decisions based on a personality test developed by the creator of Wonder Woman.
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Aug 13, 2021 18:11
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They didn't become billion dollar companies by paying for uniforms.
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Aug 26, 2021 18:27
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gschmidl posted:They're already in order. This guy is management material for sure.
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Sep 2, 2021 18:00
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Local Weather posted:The CEO of the last company I worked for was forced out for being in charge of one of the most disasterous projects in American corporate history and yet somehow was paid over $65 million to leave. What was this? Target's expansion into Canada?
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Sep 7, 2021 13:22
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The entire Target Canada debacle just gets more and more insane the more I learn about it.
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Sep 8, 2021 14:32
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Not when the AI is being designed by the same people who run the companies.
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Sep 8, 2021 15:00
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Choose "Children of the Cornhole", OP.
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Sep 23, 2021 19:36
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I don't exactly know what it was that I saw, I just know that there was ginger hair EVERYWHERE. 
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Oct 5, 2021 18:16
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What a coincidence! Braveshart was the title.
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Oct 6, 2021 01:39
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I almost went with Shavedtart, but then I thought "No, it's supposed to be a Scottish porno."
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Oct 6, 2021 01:42
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https://twitter.com/aloria/status/1445439221209124865?s=20
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Oct 6, 2021 17:13
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Barudak posted:I have been specifically reprimanded by a person one step below CEO for using "team" as it is "too impersonal" when addressing groups of people. You should list everyone on the email by name like they're four and you're on loving Romper Room.
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Oct 7, 2021 01:35
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Task tracking in Excel, how quaint.
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Nov 2, 2021 21:32
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CaptainSarcastic posted:The ones we'd go to most often had a daycare/playplace thing to check the children into so the adults could drink/smoke/gamble while the kids were ostensibly supervised. Like a fun IKEA.
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Nov 29, 2021 01:44
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Takes No Damage posted:Turns out somebody thought it would be a good idea to hire some kind of corporate comedy/improv troupe "This is what employees do for fun, right?" I wonder to myself from my chalet in Aspen. "gently caress it, I don't care."
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Dec 18, 2021 22:30
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The librarian is also a lizard.
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Jan 5, 2022 21:20
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Maybe you could prevent employees from leaving by paying them more, but then a lawyer wouldn't make any money from you suing the employees, which is obviously the bigger tragedy here.
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Jan 23, 2022 04:57
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