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titty_baby_ posted:My title is something like Geographic Informations Systems/ Plant Science Specialist and what i really do is apply for grants and mow lawns Wow. When I was in college, they were telling us if you get a major in GIS, money, fame, success were gonna rain from the sky. And then I took a grant writing class. gently caress.That.
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Feb 16, 2021 00:23
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| # ¿ Apr 25, 2024 01:37 |
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I work an hourly job(4/10s) and I love getting a text from boss on the group chat at 5:00, Thursday night, "Hey does anybody want to work OT this weekend?" Lmao bitch, I'ma enjoy my three day weekend. If dude had hit us up Mon-Thurs morning, I might've said 'sure'.
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Mar 15, 2021 17:41
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Underpromise, overdeliver. How long will this task take? Almost too long. How long will this task actually take? Long enough for me to gently caress around for a while, and then do it, turning it well before my promised deadline. I are good employee of MegaCorp Inc.
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Apr 7, 2021 05:45
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Ya'll work at some companies that remind of the old thread title from the corporate thread title in BFC: I'm quitting to fulfill my dream of not working here
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Apr 17, 2021 07:56
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The Zombie Guy posted:In addition to being a massive roadblock for growth, he was also a huge fan of micromanaging people. Mr. UM was keen on dropping in unannounced to make sure that employees way down the ladder were working By The Book, or else. This is the equivalent of a McDonalds executive dropping into a mall food court franchise, just to make sure that the teenager taking orders doesn't neglect to suggest Super Sizing a combo. I work for a subcontractor for a contractor to a major utility. Part of our job requires my boss's boss's boss to interface with a dude from that major utility on a regular basis. I also work super independently, sometimes in remote as poo poo areas, in a truck that I drive around to various areas. The one dude from that major utility loves to drive around and flex on contractors such as myself. Literally pull up on people making phone calls or patrolling just to hop out and try to catch them on any little tiny thing he can. When I'm god-emperor of Earth: 
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Apr 20, 2021 12:50
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titty_baby_ posted:So you're a consulting utility forester huh I used to do that, but I got a job that was kind of vaguely related.
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Apr 22, 2021 03:38
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English is a loving disaster and the fact that it is the lingua franca of this gay dead Earth is proof that there is a god who hates us.
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Apr 29, 2021 07:47
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You're complaining about people not giving a gently caress about you giving a gently caress. The solution is obvious: stop giving a gently caress
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May 4, 2021 14:53
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Imagined posted:I've got no problem if someone says that. That's great. Well, no problem except that they should be paid more to provide such an essential function. Completely agree with this You can't Not Work. Because if you do that, you'll starve. Labor is inherently unfree. No company deserves any loyalty if they don't/won't support their workers. Anybody who tells this is a good system wants to be the exploiter and not the exploited.
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Jul 16, 2021 22:46
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Minium staffing is a great way to vastly over inflate the cost of pay roll as you are intentionally making your turnover spike. It's the very definition of penny wise but pound foolish. Endlessly mincing of miniscule savings for monstrous losses of money. We recently had a dude blow a tire and sail into a tree, costing the company a truck, the disposal cost, insurance costs, and the medical insurance plus workman's comp cost because his boss wouldn't loving shell out for the tires. 300ish bucks saved, easily 30k (definitely more) spent on myopic nonsense.
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Aug 10, 2021 20:27
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Interviewing or knowing who to hire is a 100% bullshit art form entirely informed by experience of the one hiring. It has extraordinarily little to do with what your actual resume says and a ton to do with how well you can coerce an interviewer, or several interviewers, into hiring you. That's why your offices are filled with a mix of good and dogshit employees. It's almost a literal coin flip on whether or not the person hired is worth a poo poo or a literal Karen from HR. And thats before nepotism.
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Aug 13, 2021 03:16
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I love my boss being like "man why can't we hire anybody" when the market is labor friendly and people can just go to our competitor and make more money. I just got a major certification in my field, so I put in an application and resume today with the competitor. I like working with my current company but if they don't come back with...well within the same range as our competitor, baaaaaaaai.
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Aug 20, 2021 06:18
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I applied to one of our competitors, and I've gotten a job offer from them. I know a lot of the people who work there and after some conversation, I've discovered that it might not be all it's suppossed to be. Benefits:Masssive pay bump Downsides: Micromanaging, a lot of people are anti-vaxxers and COVID killed someone's kid a week or two ago because of that. On one hand, like a 14 dollar/hr pay bump. On the other, sheer, rank idiocy. Help me goons. What do I do?
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Aug 23, 2021 13:28
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Yeah, I recently got a pretty important industry certification and I'm hunting around for jobs. My current place isn't terrible, and I actually like my bosses, but I'm still putting in job applications because threatening to quit is how you get a raise in tyool 2021. Though, a 14/hr pay bump over my current pay sounds like an absolutely wild proffer. For reference, my pay rate right now is 19/hr. That's a 73% pay bump, and my current job is gonna have to come back with numbers in the same neighborhood plus a generous amount of handjobs and back rubs for me to even consider it. There's some other downsides to that huge pay bump (like mandatory OT and daily annoyances that I currently don't have) that I'm not really gonna bother to go into detail. Quality of life stuff that I like. A Festivus Miracle fucked around with this message at 14:24 on Aug 23, 2021 |
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Aug 23, 2021 14:21
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One of the places I applied to and then interviewed for was offering a fairly decent bonus for people with my certification. They sent me the job offer today and shock and surprise, in the fine print, there was no bonus. I think that might be literally fraud. Either way, no loving way am I gonna work there.
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Aug 25, 2021 15:18
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*guy assaults coworker, pummels face into a roughly octogonal shape* "I know that you're trying to cope with severe face trauma, but because you assaulted his fists with your face, you're fired."
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Aug 27, 2021 02:37
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Labor is an unfree commodity. You literally can't not work. Extended periods of unemployment are directly correlated with eating out of trash cans. If you hate the time you spend stuck doing a job that sucks, my advice is find a job that you won't completely loving hate with every fiber of your being. I was able to do that, and while I hate working, it's not destroying my mental health to do it. As for 'I hate that I have to work period', loving overthrow this goddamn nightmare Jesus I am on my knees begging you to do it
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Oct 16, 2021 05:07
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This thread has taught me more about the work philosophy of computer touchers than I ever wanted to know. Jesus goons, get jobs that don't involve passively aggressively grinding down the will of everyone to live through labelling every idiotic Brazil-esque nightmare policy 'Agile!'.
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Oct 27, 2021 13:09
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champagne posting posted:Brazil esque nightmare policy comes with enormous amounts of money and the penalty for slacking and poking fun at it is nothing  I recently joined a job with a union which came with a massive pay raise...and a huge amount of silly bureaucratic nonsense. It's honestly way easier to stomach now that I'm getting paid enough to give a gently caress goatface posted:Eh, it's what happens. Preferable to output management by starvation wages pushing people into enforced overtime. And no longer living like this. That said, of course all my new union coworkers are major chuds and anti-vaxxers because of course people who have voting interest diametrically opposed to voting for fascists are more than happy to vote for the leopard eating people's faces party.
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Oct 27, 2021 13:24
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The trick is to do the absolute bare minimum work required to not get fired. If I work super hard and bust my rear end to splinters, I'm liable to be expected to keep up that performance week over week. Meaning working hard is a vicious and stress inducing cycle. Being exactly mediocre means you never have to deal with it. When people mention that one of the reasons communism failed is that there was no incentive to work hard, one of the ironies is that this exact problem exists in most corporate architecture. This does not apply to any production based jobs.
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Nov 4, 2021 05:19
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Cthulu Carl posted:A critical part of IT support is to educate users, so they can prevent or fix issues themselves, freeing up IT to handle other, more important break-fix issues or projects.  Imagine every user as a boomer or gen xer who Will.Not.Learn. anything that isn't forced on them at gunpoint. I had a woman who was probably fifty six, tops, ask me for a paper version of a document "because I'm not good with computers". I was going to email her an attachment and the act of opening this was beyond her ken. The mistake here is assuming people are rational and reasonable, and not actually the files scene from Zoolander where they smash a computer because 'the files are IN the computer!'.
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Nov 10, 2021 19:49
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Corporations going out of their way to show you that the best way to achieve promotion is to...leave the company and go work somewhere else doing the job they would've promoted you to, were it not for an absolutely asinine system of yearly reviews that punishes performance and encourages mediocrity.
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Nov 25, 2021 14:43
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Safety call this morning: " These are our core values: integrity, honesty, family" My management promised a 1k bonus for sticking around and then when we went union (and got a pay bump because we unionized) suddenly that bonus disappeared and was never paid out. So, integrity:nope. Honesty: only when expedient,, family: downright abusive.
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Jan 4, 2022 16:10
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Answer: capitalism is bad.
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Feb 22, 2022 17:36
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Sacrificing the business on the throne of skulls named "The Office" has been a real theme this last year plus. Literally every person I know who has gone remote and then been told to come back has gone on to a new job. That's not that many human beings, but I choose to believe vicariously that middle managers are panicking as they realize that the reason for their existence has disappeared. That the corporate sharks they spent year careers coddling are now looking to bite them next.
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Feb 28, 2022 16:52
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I just finished a class that is pretty important to my industry and absolutely meaningless to my job. I got it, literally just to make sure I can go work elsewhere in case my current job falls through. It has been a strange experience. The people in my class were from our competitors, a few from my own company, and a few randos. One lady was literally being paid to be there, I got comped the hotel and the cost of the class, and the people working at the competitor jobs had to carpool, stay at the motel 6, and not get anything comped. It's kind of depressing to find out that the other potential landing places are actually dramatically worse than the one you're at.
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Mar 12, 2022 07:10
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Don't put in your two weeks and say "but wait, there's more" unless you have another offer lined up and you're willing to compete. It sounds like your boss has them conservative brain worms and is gonna ride "nobody wants to work anymore" to bankruptcy. Why would you try to negotiate with that?
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Mar 29, 2022 05:02
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I love the all hands meetings where some higher up turns in an Emmy winning performance of "plz be safe guys!" but there is functionally no change to any aspect of operations whatsoever. Fatal incident? Oh God everyone, please be safe, no we won't actually make any meaningful alteration to policy or practice whatsoever to prevent fatal incidents from happening. It's like "oops, another fell into the baby grinding machine" and then someone goes "watch out for the baby grinder!" instead of asking we have a baby grinder at all.
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May 19, 2022 22:29
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We desperately need another supervisor for my job, and we had a guy who is know to most of us from a competitor apply for that position. Dude is qualified, well-liked, and most importantly, our client would actually be OK with us hiring him on for that spot. Boomer idiot manager comes back with "nah, we need to promote from within". Problem is that literally no one in the company is qualified for it and won't be for another two years at least. So, his solution to this was to offer the guy basically the same job he has now, for slightly less pay, with the 'promise to promote'...shockingly, the dude has decided to stay with his current job. And nobody in this company is qualified to take that spot. And we still need that supervisor spot filled, badly.
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May 24, 2022 17:22
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Pineapple in a drawer, vent, or office cabinet is an excellent parting gift. I hear milk and hair in a jar in a warm place is a good one too.
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May 31, 2022 16:20
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The muscles that move the fingers are stored in the balls 
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Jun 1, 2022 13:29
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Yeah, I don't think wages rising is really labor getting in the drivers seat, but more like a lot of jobs that pay like poo poo running face first into economic realities. Labor pool is slowly shrinking and inflation continues to rise, ergo the working class literally cannot afford to work a job that won't pay. It was a correction that long in the coming but it was gonna hit eventually, and I have no reason to believe that things will get better, ever. I'm going to call the minimum wage the floor, and the "literal smallest amount of money you can spend to sustain yourself in thr shittiest, most awful way possible" the slave floor. The slave floor is well past the minimum wage floor (federally, anyway), so places still trying to pay that can't find anyone to work.
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Jun 22, 2022 21:04
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Steakandchips posted:American business
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Jul 1, 2022 14:18
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Cthulu Carl posted:Network finally came back up. Turns out a switch died so hard it took down the redundancies or some poo poo. One of my bosses (yes, my three bosses) has terminal boomer brain when it comes to anything more advanced than a very simple electronic calculator and every time he's on call with the like three dudes employed as IT at my contractor, I can literally hear "gently caress you gently caress you gently caress you" barely contained in their voices.
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Jul 12, 2022 20:30
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Its not something you should do frequently, but I highly recommend quitting on the spot at least once. It is a magnificent feeling to be like "hey doucheboss,can we talk?" in the middle of a rush, forcing him into his office and then calmly telling him to eat your entire rear end. gently caress retail and people who manage retail stores forever.
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Jul 18, 2022 22:06
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Maybe not dumb work poo poo, but definitely someone who is not very bright: A lot of my company and several other very sizeable contractors are working for a utility in a rural area. There is one store in this rural area that has anything even coming close to something like a Raley's/Publix/Safeway/Ralphs/Kroger. This guy has been doing a good business on account of this, because literally every contractor in this area goes and shops at his store during work for food, gas, toilet paper, etc. So of loving course, last week, the owner of this store posted a sign on his front door telling contractors of this particular utility that they are no longer allowed to shop at his store, and that if they park their trucks in his parking lot, he would tow them (where and with what left as an exercise to the reader, I guess). Consequently, most of the contractors are now telling their employees not to go there for any reason. I cannot imagine telling something like 50% of my monthly loving customers to gently caress off, but I guess some people just want to watch the world burn.
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Aug 7, 2022 22:49
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Every single decision in business ,especially public traded corporate business, can be predicated upon quarterly statements. Shockingly, this incredibly myopic focus on "the next quarter" creates the most idiotic penny-wise and pound-foolish business decisions. At first it shocked me. Now, nothing matters.
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Aug 9, 2022 20:39
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Release and indemnify the company from responsibility in mutilating you, the worker. Libertarian wet dreams are loving Dickensian nightmares
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Aug 22, 2022 17:04
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The fact that America repressed birth rates to the point where the old population is growing relative to thr young essentially means that employees will have leverage over employers for many years to come. And employers will try every loving insane idea possible to avoid having to treat people with even a modicum of respect. Boomers will be getting call backs and pay raises in their retirements until they're well into their 90s before paying millenials and Gen Zs worth a poo poo.
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Sep 19, 2022 19:36
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| # ¿ Apr 25, 2024 01:37 |
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Testikles posted:On all this time-off chat: I get a lot of time off, I have a ton banked, but I seldom use it because it feels like taking time off screws me over. I took a week vacation during the summer and I had to work crazy hours the week when I came back to catch up. It feels like I haven't caught up since Take the time off and then work exactly as hard as you have to to not get yelled at, no more and no less. Act your wage, always. There is nothing gained by working yourself to death and tbh, you're almost always better off getting a new job than trying to get promoted at your current.
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Oct 3, 2022 14:28
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