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A Fancy Hat posted:I had a zoom meeting last month and for the first 10 minutes they played music and told everyone to dance. Like a half dozen people were doing it (out of a few hundred) and they just kept that music on loop for the whole time. At the end of the meeting they said they didn't have enough "dance footage" and told everybody to put their cameras on. This is amazing and I wanna hear more about it
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Jan 31, 2021 22:37
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| # ¿ Apr 26, 2024 11:13 |
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As for my own, my department only has 4 people in it, but our company is huge, with over 3000 employees. My boss, supervisor and myself are all good at what we do and are fairly competent. However we don't get to choose who joins the department. After the last employee just stopped showing up because of mental issues or something, we had a new hire dumped into our group. But, being a huge company, for 99% of the jobs we're just looking for someone who can show up sober and on time and complete 30 minutes worth of work in the allotted 8 hours. As such, the 4th person who was hired and put into our department is just the friend of someone who worked at our company. This new employee had zero technically or computer knowledge prior to working in our very standard office. Things like Excel, Outlook, and email in general was completely new. During the interview they said their favorite "tech" was the banking app on their phone. I was gobsmacked at such a stupid answer. Previously this person worked at a supermarket doing something completely unrelated and way under the technical knowledge level required to do our job. Essentially they were hired because the other few people who interviewed had absolutely no knowledge of what we were doing and no connection to the company, so knowing someone was good enough I guess. This new person also has also shown that they don't want to go out of their way to pick up work or have any ambition to learn. It seems they're just fine with doing what they were told to do and avoiding grabbing any emails that come to our department and shouting out in our group chat that they'll answer them (likely because they can't because they've intentionally avoided learning how to do anything other than file forms). We hired this person to distribute the workload so that the three of us wouldn't get bogged down, but this new person has basically refused to step up and become an all-arounder. Sometimes I wonder if it's because the rest of us are calling out when we're grabbing support emails and questions in our group chats that we might be enabling the behavior, but on the other hand, it's obvious that the new person doesn't seem to want to step up and do their part. They also, during conference calls, have this habit of butting in randomly and saying really stupid or redundant or extremely basic poo poo to try and pretend like they're competent and listening and part of the team!!. Most of the time we have to go "yeah, that's a good point, we have to be aware of that. Anyways, as we were saying". Sometimes they just get it completely wrong because they weren't listening. When we all discuss what we're working on, they just say the same thing every single time, which is doing filing. This new person is very self-unaware about how they look, I guess. We can't really talk poo poo about them because that's not helpful to the department, company or each other, but I'm sure everyone has thought the same thing: This new person is a total plonker. This new person also takes a LOT of sick days and vacations compared to everyone else. Anyways, I know that when cutbacks come, it's not my head on the chopping block. Luckily, we don't have much other stupid poo poo we have to do. We have a conference call once a week, and that's about it, and no one is forced to do any stupid dancing or company platitude nonsense.
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Jan 31, 2021 22:50
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Also, another thing - The salesmen are required to do one hour of training every month so most of them will just join our department webinar and then many of them will just leave their phone on the passenger seat of their car while they're driving around, without muting the line to get credit without actually doing anything. We end up having to kick them because it just floods the 20+ person webinar with garbled car driving sounds.
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Jan 31, 2021 22:55
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I should say for the record though, I do like my job conditions. I'm not in love with the company or work or sector or anything, but it's really really easy because the company has thousands of employees so the base requirements are insanely easy. The average person in the office is a cat lady who has no idea of anything except stamping forms and sending scanned pages to another department via email. Cogs in the machine. This means that for people like me who are pretty computer-toucher-y, I can do all my work in 30 minutes of an hour at the beginning of the day, and then I spend the rest of the day taking naps, playing video games, watching HBO shows, etc. For a while there I was even going to the apartment gym at 10:00AM for an hour before they closed it down. If I got a call I would just step out of the weight room and answer it, or use Google Chrome Remote Desktop to control my PC in the office at home. All of my work is done via web apps, email and phone calls anyways, with no need to really be physically present. I know some people out there are hurting, but our company is doing great and very profitable. I've been selling options and making twice as much money doing that than I do from my real salary for the past few months as well, so being at home allows me to focus on that, which is basically my real, passion work these days. My actual job is more of an afterthought. Working from home has been one of the best years of my life and I hope we just go permanently remote, maybe my boss can justify it with saving on the energy bill and having more space in the office or something. edit: I also 100%ed Stardew Valley, Cyberpunk 2077, and watched all of Boardwalk Empire, Deadwood + Deadwood The Movie, The Office UK (again), a bunch of movies, and a watched fuckload of YouTube, all on the company dime. Working from home rules (for me)(for now). AHH F/UGH fucked around with this message at 01:20 on Feb 1, 2021 |
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Jan 31, 2021 23:42
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Aardvark! posted:my company got bought last year. just got informed that the new CEO (a billionaire/owner of the company) gets every single employee's yearly goals emailed to him and regularly reads them and responds to them In your My Goals This Year just write "eat terds" and see what he says My dumb thing is I am too nice to my cat, so he always comes up to me when I'm on the phone during a meeting or helping someone with something and starts mewing to get me to pet him and go into the other room to play. I usually oblige because it's more fun than working AHH F/UGH fucked around with this message at 06:11 on Feb 4, 2021 |
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Feb 4, 2021 06:06
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20,000 employees. that's not insane at all
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Combo posted:Just got letter from HR today that they're trying to arrange vaccines for people here, as we've been working the whole time (manufacturing/front line and we actually make stuff for pharma studies). Also said that those who receive both doses of the vaccine and show their vaccination card will no longer be required to wear masks. Let me guess: big glasses, curly dirty blonde hair, huge FUPA?
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Feb 5, 2021 20:49
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1redflag posted:That’s just a squat toilet, very common in eastern nations These urinals are real things though 
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Feb 5, 2021 20:54
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Nothing more gay than saving money and learning
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Feb 5, 2021 21:27
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Saalkin posted:My work just rehired my abusive Ex-Gf. Get back into the relationship and abuse her back then dump her Tit for tat, the world in perfect balance
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Feb 8, 2021 20:59
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titty_baby_ posted:I always feel anxious before our weekly check in meetings because I'm worried ill be scrutinized too closely for how I've been spending my time while working remote. Its never been an issue before but hey, tell my brain that Tetramin posted:lol I get the same feeling. I definitely get at least the same amount of work done since I’ve been WFH. But instead of wasting time in the ways you do it at the office, I watch TV or whatever so it feels weird. Big mood right here. I always have to come up with some kind of manufactured and unique situation to ask my boss about. "So I've been getting a lot of calls about X, what do you think we should tell them, blah blah blah" "Sounds good, I'll send them an email once I hear back". I feel like I'm writing extra lines in a high school essay to stretch out the word length because the reality is always the same: I answer a few phone calls, I respond to a few emails, I play games and watch youtube the rest of the time. The only difference is now I do the latter instead of just lightly tapping my keyboard in my cubicle so that my boss hears the faint click-click-click and *thinks* that I'm working on something. Luckily, my lovely new coworker always says the exact same thing ("gonna work on accounts and just do the same 'ol same 'ol") and the rest of our department and boss just kind of have an awkward silence as once again, new lovely coworker continues for another week of not actually trying to learn how to do any new work at all. That makes me look like I'm trying so big thumbs up from me. teen witch posted:Vent alert!!! To play devil's advocate a little on this one, as someone else said, I understand now that a certain degree of approachability and acknowledgement of others in a shared space is expected as basically a job requirement, maybe in a review you'll get a "works well as a team" section score or something along those lines. I used to do the same thing when I was working at a restaurant in college. I was pretty shy at the time for some reason and I wouldn't say hello to all my coworkers, I'd just show up and start working and say hello to people as I saw them if they said hello to me first, and I got kind of a reputation of just being a non-person. I did a good job but I didn't give off a sense of being a trustable human. For what it's worth, I don't really care about those niceties and if everyone else just showed up and did their work and didn't say hi to me, I wouldn't really care, but I get it now that this kind of attitude just isn't the norm for most Americans. I can't say whether or not it was a sexist thing or not, but I'm a dude and I've gotten the same thing from male and female managers. AHH F/UGH fucked around with this message at 23:49 on Feb 9, 2021 |
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Feb 9, 2021 23:46
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Oh yeah I'm completely with you on that one, I have no desire for the people I work with to be my friends either, but I also have to recognize that the majority of the people I work with, at least, don't see it like that. We have some serious Office Tinas and Karens and some guys who are company-men through and through and unfortunately you gotta play the game sometimes by saying "hi" in the mornings because it'll save you from getting poo poo later. It's a stupid trade off but  I've said it before but I truly hope my boss realizes that our department has functioned just as well from home as it has from the office and tests the waters in a few months with the rest of us and asks if we think we'll be okay just going permanently remote. That would be a dream come true.
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Feb 9, 2021 23:58
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explosivo posted:Lol in my current position I'm unfortunately the one asking people on these calls what they're doing and having done this before myself I can only lol I figure my boss knows as much the way I'm tossing him these softballs to knock out of the park, but again it's still probably better than "oh ya know, same ol' same ol'..........................." to which my boss says "...Alright. Well let's wrap this one up, I'll talk to everyone on Friday". Plus it's obviously if anyone sees our department's slack channel that it's me costantly going "I'll respond to [guy]" and "I'll grab this renewal" and stuff, so he humors me enough to make it seem like I'm not cheesing it.
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Feb 10, 2021 01:08
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when someone who I know is generally busy throughout the day pulls this out for me unless I know they're actually not pulling their weight. I always thought of George from Seinfeld writing down a bunch of talking points for when he calls his mother so he has topics to discuss and keep the conversation moving along.
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teen witch posted:Well here’s the complication - I’m American and I work in an office with people from all over the world, though the majority is mostly British. And like I feel that I’m fairly integrated among the rest of the office, people know who I am, what I do, and things about me, I just don’t trip over myself to greet everyone in the morning like a preschool teacher. My colleagues have little hesitation talking to me for things they need (or vice versa!) or who to talk to and I’ll chit chat with them no issue about some things. They’ll ask me about American politics or we joke about dumb things from the 90s. I’ll say hey in the kitchen area or look at pics of their kids. The reality is, it's probably somewhere in the middle and not really as bad as they think it is. If you're being pleasant when hit you up and you do a decent job, it really shouldn't matter and there's nothing they can do to like, fire you or something. I sit in a corner cubicle with one side cut out so that people can see around the corner as they're walking which means I get a lot of random people who just stop at my cube and talk. I get people who I literally don't know at all that walk past my desk and just stop to talk to me. I'll usually humor them because I don't have poo poo to do anyways. Other times I just ignore them and don't make eye contact even though I can tell they're kind of angling for someone to blab with. I really don't care what they have to say and would prefer if they just walked past and left me alone. That said, if I did that too much I know I'd be labeled a cold, uncaring freak weirdo by the people who work around me, and the people who are in my department would see that pattern too. These days I definitely go out of my way to do the uncomfortable thing and make sure be the first person to greet everyone if I hear them in their cube. I'll call out "Hey [manager's name], mornin'!" or whatever across the cubicle wall, even though I kind of have to swallow a lump in my throat and mentally prepare for it. I know this sounds I'm an extremely weak loser and like I'm a huge pansy, but it's more just that I hate having to alter my natural instinct of just shutting up and getting on, and instead have to force this greeting out. It also has the added bonus of taking the pressure off of others who may also feel the same way about doing it. It's a tiny "sacrifice" but it seems to be enough to trick people into thinking I care, like making coffee for the office in the morning or something. Of course I'm not trying to give anyone lessons in basic human decency because I figure this is all obvious to everyone here, but it's just how I've approached it since I didn't know better and how it's (seemingly) worked out for me as someone who in the past was called out as being not a team player for just doing my job and then leaving. Anyways, thanks for reading about my insanely pathetic work habits and my struggles with being able to say hello to people I've known for years. Thanks for attending my fully nude TED talk and my god bless your mess. AHH F/UGH fucked around with this message at 05:40 on Feb 10, 2021 |
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Feb 10, 2021 05:38
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Fleta Mcgurn posted:For the fifth time this week, my boss let someone who cannot speak English convince him I had spelled something wrong when I hadn't. Definitely going to need a list of how they thought each of these was misspelled Also was it one person or multiple people who convinced him
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Feb 10, 2021 18:35
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Fleta Mcgurn posted:I don't know who, he just said "one of the programmers," and admitted that the person did not speak English. lol What did he say when he found out you were right Also what the hell is that some kind of weird backhanded compliment I don't miss working in Tokyo at a Japanese company at all lmao
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Feb 10, 2021 22:37
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titty_baby_ posted:There was a murder today by my office so everyone was sent home and I dont have to go in tomorrow. What id be doing wouldn't impede the investigation in any way, but im fine with not going in Do you think you'll get away with it?
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Feb 10, 2021 23:16
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Am I right in guessing that the top one is old and well-loved but they have real stairs so it got years of use The bottom one is really new but some idiot dropped it or something because he was climbing a painting ladder to refuel a jet
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Feb 11, 2021 04:42
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Are people literally just unplugging from the plane and then and dropping them because they’re too lazy to carry them down the ladders or something, or are they actually butterfingers and they slip and drop accidentally Like this is America so I would imagine they just toss poo poo into the ground because that’s par for the course of how little Americans care about doing thing right and care about their work but that’s just egregious.
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Feb 11, 2021 08:47
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Thanatosian posted:Have you ever tried to climb a ladder while holding something heavy in the rain? I'm just reminded of the goon who was talking about when he got a job filling up trucks full of packages at FedEx He was working there for about 2 hours into his first shift loading up a truck when he figured out what he was doing wrong and started to copy what everyone else was doing - It was faster and easier to just drop and throw boxes, regardless of labeling, than to set them down. They had time and they were physically able, but they just dropped literally everything and kicked it into place if needed.
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Feb 11, 2021 19:42
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Tex Avery posted:Meanwhile, I was prepared to go to work today at my new job. They run diesel locomotives, so as long as the fuel doesn't freeze, they can keep going. My alarm went off super early to give me extra time to get into work, and the first thing I see is a call coming in from one of my new supervisors. He basically says that every employee in training - myself, one other guy who is farther along in conductor training, and the two guys learning how to be engineers - are being cut because trainees are not necessary in order to move a train, so there's no reason to risk our safety to try to get to work. I'm guaranteed a minimum of 40 hours every week, even if I only work one day, so I'm just sitting around at home and waiting to find out if I'm staying home tomorrow, too. Wow so much for all this so-called ***global warming*** am I right??
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Feb 11, 2021 20:05
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Cowslips Warren posted:Oh, and they still get Special Teambuilder Exercises, but online versions. So there's dumb poo poo like everyone Zooms in and acts out a skit and you have to guess the movie. Turn on your camera and do the Goodbye Horses dance
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Feb 12, 2021 18:48
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Missed a phone call because I was taking a poo poo. They end up calling newest department member next for help. Newest department member, naturally, has no clue what to do despite working in our group for a year and a half, and calls me up and asks me how to do literally the most basic task that our department does. This is like a Taco Bell employee needing help on how to make a regular taco, or a painter needing help opening a paint can. It’s truly baffling how this person is just apparently completely fine doing absolutely nothing and learning nothing and never trying to learn how to do our job, or if they are shown once, the next time they are somehow forced to do it, do it so much time will have passed that they forgot. Like god drat just loving grab a department support email and say in the slack group that you’ll respond to it or something. Learn how to do your job and ride the loving bike. You have been shown these things so many times, just do the god drat job. Our department is very all-hands-on-deck and we all have to be capable of doing everything but this person is totally invisible. Why in the hell did HR hire this person and put them in the most technical department in the company when they know nothing about technology? Christ
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Feb 13, 2021 11:09
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Tetramin posted:Is this the person who said the mobile banking app on their phone is their favorite technology lol Yep. Of course. The one who knew someone in the company and that's why she was hired. I heard that she was actually the 4th out of 5 candidates that they wanted to hire, but #1 said the money wasn't good enough, #2 and #3 had office experience but were kind of grannies who had no clue what we were doing, and she at #4 had zero experience besides a grocery store, but knew someone in the accounting department. I don't get it but alright.
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Feb 13, 2021 22:46
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Tetramin posted:I still think about how nice it was to break into my field with no relevant experience because someone gave me a chance. But then again I already basically knew the poo poo I needed to know and demonstrated that in the interviews, and worked my rear end off to absorb all the knowledge needed when I started. Finding yourself in a good job for the first time since a grocery store should be huge motivation to learn to swim, so I don’t get that at all. Exactly the same thing here. I was told when I went in to accept the position and get the details that I was their first choice out of 12 candidates. I went to the same high school and university as my supervisor, and we're all from the same city, so I had the correct pedigree as well. Before my interview I had done some surface level research on the products they listed in the job application so when I came in I was able to say "hey that's X product, alrighty" or whatever, kind of basic interview research. They asked me that same technology question and I think I talked about Tesla and self-driving cars or something like that. I think I came across as a normal, reasonable human who had a long history of being a computer toucher hobbyist from a young age (like most goons), and so that was enough. My previous experience wasn't related to tech at all but I had the right mindset and hobbies and whatnot to be able to show I was capable. This is a massive company with thousands of employees so they usually just need people with a heartbeat who can show up sober and complete the extremely minimal amount of work that is the common denominator of a giant company, and that's usually good enough, just someone who pulls the levers and stamps the paperwork. I consider myself a bargain in that sense. I learned to swim but that's because if I hadn't, I can't imagine how guilty I'd feel first of all, and second how loving bored I'd be.
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Feb 14, 2021 00:44
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One thing I am grateful for about my pretty-alright job is that I’m no longer a servant. When I was working in restaurants and poo poo I had to basically be someone’s slave, like you as a bartender. I’m glad I no longer have to pretend to be nice or care about anyone else (most of time time). Working in an office you don’t need to ‘act’ quite as much as you do at a retail or food job, and that’s a huge benefit on its own.
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Feb 14, 2021 22:00
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lol That’s why I have a script in Outlook that adds “Hello (name),” or “Hello All,” in front of multiple CCs. I like to put salutations as much as possible because it’s professional and whatnot, but there have been times where I just blanked it or hit send before I added it and I felt like a dummy so I just got the script so that I never have to bother with it again. Some people are just really gung go for observing the rank and file and honorifics. Of course if I’m emailing people that I’m on a very similar pay level/seniority to and really casual with, I’ll just skip all the BS and put nothing there It’s pretty wild how my company doesn’t have any kind of signature standards for emails or anything like that There’s one chud who is the head of a department and at the bottom of his email sig in small font is something like “It’s okay to print this email. Due to modern forestry techniques there are more trees than 100 years ago” or something which is like, his weird rear end PsyOp way of striking back at someone/society who asked him to stop printing emails out one time and save paper. It’s very rolling coal/I’m gonna eat extra meat tonight since you’re a vegetarian!!!!/“triggered, ya lib???” and super gross and tiny dick energy. He also just sends one word replies without any salutations, in fact I know of multiple department heads who do that. AHH F/UGH fucked around with this message at 11:27 on Feb 15, 2021 |
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Feb 15, 2021 11:25
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Fair enough. Would you consider those people who are crying about it a higher level or seniority than you?
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Feb 15, 2021 12:14
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I mean it takes like literally 2 minutes to set up a simple and good enough "Hello," salutation and a "Best, (you name)" signature so there's not a great excuse for doing it if that's kind of the standard protocol at your company Mine is filled with boomers so it's mandatory and was part of training
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Feb 15, 2021 19:16
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Code Jockey posted:This poo poo is just mind boggling to me, and I suppose this is just me being fortunate enough to work around IT people and business stakeholders who didn't give a gently caress about it I guess to our company it's a inter-member professionalism thing, one of those small things that if you let it slip, it becomes a slippery slope and soon enough you've got people accidentally CCing 300 people in the building about the best types of ammo to buy to shoot [thinly veiled BLM/Antifa/Democrats words] with. This actually happened in my company and this dude was fired the same day lmao. It's a discipline thing I suppose - not in the punishment sense but more in the... I dunno, Japanese office business manners-n-bullshit sense? I guess that if I didn't do it or receive it that way, then communicae would feel sort of lazy or unimportant. Obviously this is all subject to how new your company is, how large, public/private, blah blah blah
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Feb 15, 2021 20:35
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Side note - someone on the mod team should mail Jeffrey a box of Goldbelly cookies as a joke
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Feb 15, 2021 22:04
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Personally I feel "Hello [name]/[All]" and "Best, [my first name]" to be the most bland, and therefore best.
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Feb 16, 2021 23:28
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Gene how far away from your job do you live to spend $2,000 a month on gas???
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Feb 17, 2021 04:45
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Oh in that case he spends like nothing on gas, drat
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Feb 17, 2021 05:43
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teen witch posted:If there’s one thing I do like about my job, and from what I can see from working in Sweden as a whole, is that absolutely no one gives a poo poo as to how you dress, within reason. My usual work hoodie is uh, the album cover of Mayhem’s first album on the back, and I’ve had zero issue. I don’t need to cover up my tattoos, and seeing that friends with face tattoos are not only employed but can live and support a family, it’s really loving nice. Push the limit and get a hoodie with *that* Mayhem album cover on it and see if anyone says anything
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Feb 18, 2021 03:48
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We have a branch in Hawaii so I got to this exchange today "Hi FUGH, should these be going to my sales coordinator or the whole department?" Mahalo, Sean ______" so I sent him a very, very basic email: "Hi Sean The person you want to get in contact with about email services is ____________ in IT. He should be able to help you out. Mahalo, AHH F/UGH" I wonder if he noticed edit: Also a guy at another branch uses this background, straight out of Windows 3.1: 
AHH F/UGH fucked around with this message at 03:57 on Feb 18, 2021 |
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Feb 18, 2021 03:55
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Rockman Reserve posted:it was probably a decade ago but i still remember this guy who was hired to fill an important technical role on a critical project, straight out of mcdonalds. the dude honestly thought he was being hired for a managerial position at first. wore a black trenchcoat all the time, had long gross unwashed hair, and operated his smartphone with his disgustingly greasy nose because he wore leather gloves all the fuckin' time in 60 degree weather. had no idea how any of our projects worked, had a vague understanding of most technical things but thought he was the biggest goddamn genius around, openly talked about his multi TB anime collection but was quick to assure coworkers - completely unprompted - that he didn't like hentai Even in 2011 weren't these guys a joke? 
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Feb 18, 2021 18:04
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In my office it's collared shirts (polos are fine, company logo'd ones encouraged which they give out for free), dark pants (no jeans) and dark colored running sneakers or casual business shoes Basically they want us to look like we're assistant basketball coaches at a practice. Occasionally customers come and take tours of our corporate offices and the company owner likes it if we look like we're about to go to a tee time. A lot of guys will tuck their shirt in but I wear a black polo and black pants so usually people can't tell. Women can basically just do whatever except t-shirts Of course these days when I stop by the office for a few minutes every week I just wear a t-shirt and swears.
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Feb 18, 2021 19:08
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We say mahalo back as silly joke, just FYI but you’re probably aware
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Feb 18, 2021 19:53
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Like we see it and do the beavis and butthead laugh
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Feb 18, 2021 19:56
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| # ¿ Apr 26, 2024 11:13 |
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When the pandemic started we were having daily team conference calls every weekday, Monday through Friday Then it went to M-W-F Then it went to just Monday and Friday But not much changes and not many things happen on Fridays anyways, so there's often very little to discuss on Monday, so lately my boss has been somewhat conveniently "having a meeting" at the same time as our Monday or Friday meeting and needing to cancel one of them. Not a soul has complained.
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Feb 19, 2021 17:54
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