ClothHat posted:

Since our numbers have been down ever since we started working from home (they think this is because the staff are lazy and not working, it couldn't possibly be related to the ongoing pandemic), my boss has asked me to conduct a four hour evaluation of every one of my staff every month. She then asked me if this was taking up too much of my time, and when I said yes she helpfully tallied up the total number of hours it would take every month and said that's not that much.

BigSexy posted:

One thing I like about my company is there’s no forced “bonding” bullshit. They pay us well and expect a lot from us but I’m at work to work, not hang out. I see now writing this makes me seem like an rear end in a top hat but I have a family and friends outside work, I don’t need to hang out with work people outside of work or take time away from regular projects

Neco posted:

No it‘s fine. Bonding opportunitiesare great. Mandatory bonding is bullshit. And I am pretty sure it‘s normal you are off the clock for those in the US right?

Jeza posted:

This is my first job in COVID times since I finished my MA in December and it's pretty weird to just...work during the day and nobody is ever looking in on me. There are no meetings on a Friday, so I just went through the whole day and didn't speak to anyone other than via little popup comments. Pretty chill.

Charles Bukowski posted:

It really just takes a couple of people that don't feel like doing their jobs or treat people with respect that poisons an entire jobsite or organization.

What baffles me is how ruthless and cutthroat businesses appear to be, but in every department and at every level, people are just loving around and being stupid lazy and petty. Would it not make sense for someone important to cut out every weak link mercilessly and just have talented people who give a poo poo and are paid well enough to commit? I know I expect a lot from people, but surely this makes sense? Why do we so often just put up with mediocrity?

Charles Bukowski posted:

I would probably be the last to refer to myself as "hot poo poo" at work, I just never want to create more work for others. I'd rather be out in the rice fields.

Combo posted:

Just got letter from HR today that they're trying to arrange vaccines for people here, as we've been working the whole time (manufacturing/front line and we actually make stuff for pharma studies). Also said that those who receive both doses of the vaccine and show their vaccination card will no longer be required to wear masks.

It's my understanding that even if you're vaccinated you can still be a carrier, so this sounds incredibly stupid. But our HR lady also thinks the virus was created to make Trump lose the election so there's that.

explosivo posted:

The whole company had to attend a zoom thing earlier this week for a BIG ANNOUNCEMENT and as people were coming in there was no audio so people didn't know if the audio was working. The person kicking off the meeting, the head of our human resources department, said out loud "Is nobody saying anything right now or is the audio just being re****ed?" Not even like she accidentally said something without realizing she was muted, she was legitimately asking someone out there if the audio was just being re****ed.

Someone was like "oh nobody's talking yet" and this person just moved on like she said nothing out of the ordinary. Every single person in my team was already there and immediately went to slack to be like "did anybody else just hear that??", as was I'm sure hundreds of other people who were filtering in at that point. Just seriously unbelievable poo poo.

1redflag posted:

Agreed w above poster. My understanding (layperson) is that being vaccinated means that your body’s immune system “knows” how to fight the relevant virus, not that it makes you wholly immune from the virus entering your body. So you can still get “infected” and still pass the virus along to others, you just are going to recover from any infection much quicker than others w/out the vaccines.

ArbitraryC posted:

Overcaution isn't the name of the game for the employer because basically no employers followed any sort of lockdown procedure from the getgo. Technically for late Nov to early january my business fell under a "25% maximum" lockdown order but lmao if we weren't all doing exactly what we normally do. What am I gonna do, snitch on em as the only one who openly agreed with the lockdown in the first place?

I can't even be assed to get that mad about the lack of masks because honestly with how cramped our office is (we mostly do field work so it's people coming in and out all day, we don't need a huge space) a normal mask wouldn't do poo poo anyways. If one person got sick mask or no every surface in that office would be contaminated before they started feeling symptoms unless they were wearing actual medical stuff rather than the repurposed hanes everyone has.

1redflag posted:

I don’t think anything you said in this sentence is true, to be honest. First, my understanding is you will get physically sick, you will just recover faster such that it may not appear outwardly. Second, the virus will multiply inside you, but your immune system will be able to suppress it at a faster rate than it can replicate, so while it will be able to multiply/spread at first, it will eventually lose a war of attrition. Finally, you still we able to spread it during the period between initial infection and total victory by your immune system.

I’m not trying to be argumentative here, I’m just afraid we may be spreading misinformation one way or the other. I’d love to have some resident immunologist or vaccine scientist (or just a regular physician, whatever) put the issue to bed.

Full Metal Jackass posted:

Forced move to onedrive - check
Lock everyone out of older network drive before getting to move files over - check

Full Metal Jackass posted:

My job is WFH right now but they do a thing where they randomly call you up to come in for a drug and alcohol test during work hours. Once you answer the phone and engage in convo they spring it on you and you have 2 hours to come in and take the test, otherwise it counts as a failed test. This has gotten two people fired so far for failed breathalyzer (has to be 0.0).

Tristesse posted:

My current job is one of the better ones I've had except for a few stupid things. One of those things is they have all this weird cult like stuff which includes everything from how we structure our meetings to reporting to our bosses and poo poo. It's dumb crap like "at the start of every meeting every person in that meeting reports 1 bit or personal good news and one bit of professional good news." I had to read -several- books just to know the stupid shortcut termonology they're using. It's so loving dumb and now we're all hardwired for it and guess what? We got bought out and my boss got fired so that's all going away.

Speaking of getting bought out...

So this new company outta Boston buys us at the end of last year, and they decide to hold a company meeting at our offices with their bosses there to talk about it. 2 hour mandatory meeting for everyone in the company, it was basically new hire orientation. My entire team was told we had to be there physically (we're working remotely but "encouraged" to come in on Mondays.) This was Jan 6th.

Everyone in one room for two hours. The guys talking at the front did not wear masks. Of course of them tests positive for the 'rona the next week. We get told about that on the 13th, when I start to feel lovely. I tested positive on Friday, along with a few other coworkers, and my whole team is crippled the next week as we both had to call out sick all week. That poo poo sucked and I can still barely smell anything.

So we're off to the right foot with this merger.

obviously I hosed it posted:

We have to have ‘ team building ‘ days ( on our days off) where we have to listen to some motivational speaker nobody likes and do stupid trust building exercises. We all would rather go out and drink and tell stories in order to bond than untangle giant ropes in a field somewhere to ‘ get to know ‘ our coworkers.
If I hear “... and it’s ok if not everyone likes this activity” one more time, I’m going to have a stroke. I’d rather publicly poo poo myself once a week than attend these team building things.

NapalmWeasel posted:

I work in a very small company, and my (tech support) boss (CEO) responds to me with a lot of "TY!" or similar. External emails from her are pieces of wordsmith art.

Son of Rodney posted:

Holy poo poo does this speak to me. When people ask me what my perfect job would be like and I'm being honest I always reply chopping wood. Just chopping wood. Good honest physical work, constant progress, and regular satisfaction when you finished splitting a good and heavy piece.

Also a question on the salutation thing to y'all, I'm not a native English speaker so my office English is rudimentary, what's a good all around salutation set for every day business mails? I've been going with dear x, or just hello x if we've reached a more informal level to greet, and either best regards or regards when closing. Is that alright?

Genesplicer posted:

I teach 7th and 8th grade science. Remotely, right now. I like it for a couple of reasons and hate it for whole bunch more.

-My commute usually takes about an hour. I miss my audiobooks and concerts, but I have saved about $2,000 in fuel costs since March 13.

-I am reasonably safe from COVID, since I stay home most of the time. (This may change, when they decide to push us back into the classroom. I know that I had 9 tables in my classroom before, each holding 4 students. They have added 9 more tables to my room. There is now about a foot between tables, but they are fairly large, so one kid per table would be OK. Just no room to move around.)

-One thing I hate is the fact that we are doing Google Meets. Our district does not allow us to demand that the students turn on their cameras, so I only know if they are there if they voluntarily turn on their camera (about 4 kids out of 175), or if they respond to a question from me. About half of my students log in, then go off and watch TV or play X-box. I'm not allowed to penalize them for not actually being there, as long as they log in.

-The biggest thing I hate is the fact that I can't do any labs or demos . The best I can do is maybe find something on YouTube that is related in some way to what we are learning.

However, I am getting paid, and I get to spend more time at home, which is not bad at all.

Lamech posted:

https://twitter.com/juliarburnham/status/1159901209378951168?s=20

Ciao,

Fleta Mcgurn posted:

Speaking of email signatures, I was supposed to interview some chick back in November (she freaked out when I emailed her to confirm and accused me of being a scammer).

After insulting me, she signed off with "enjoy the balance of your day." Bitch, how?! You unbalanced the poo poo out of it!

Shellception posted:

As someone who's done a lot of unofficial English revising (I am no translator in any sense but I have a C2 and work in an English-dominated scientific field so I get asked to do so frequently): No, no you aren't, at all. There's a definite tendency here by some people to seriously overestimate their English level. I had the habit of writing the reason for a correction when I did them ("missing verb" "this is an adverb not an adjective, use this instead" "this adjective goes before the substantive not after" and so on) and even with the notes I have been challenged sometimes ("well what you wrote sounds wrong").

Yeah I know I am no native and sometimes I make mistakes buttttt lady I just had to rewrite, reorder and punctuate your ten-lines behemoth of a sentence. If you think I am wrong, which I may well be, please do a bit of googling before complaining .

Rent-A-Cop posted:

Someone convinced the CEO we should do AGILE but he hated it so all we do is have scrums and planning sessions and then ignore everything and do whatever the emergency of the day is.

Our Scrum Master is a project manager for a client who we do no work for and have basically no interaction with. He has no idea what our team does and the sum total of his contribution is to add meetings to everyone's Outlook calendar.

DrBouvenstein posted:

Speaking of Teams, at the start of the pandemic and WFH, someone higher up decided we'd be very proactive with our support.

Teams asks users after every call to rate the call quality. I don't know to what degree that is customizable, since I'm not a Teams admin, but a lot of people are annoyed that it asks after every freakin' call.

Secondly, and how it directly affects our team, if ANY call is rated less than a 5/5, it auto-generates a ticket about the call quality that we have to investigate.

4/5 should not generate a ticket, and I'm on the fence that even a 3/5 should.

Outrail posted:

20200127 filename
2020 Feb 1 filename tf 2
Filename
Filename1
Filename2
Filename 20200220
Filename draft
Filename draft ht edit
Filename final
Filename final draft
Filename final draft 2
Filename final edit
Filename v2

The actual final version is saved somewhere else.

Zarin posted:

I mean, yeah, if you specifically requested a naming convention and they violate it, then THEY are the monsters.

I just like my dashes for my own personal garbage

Hyrax Attack! posted:

Our mandatory gratitudes in our monthly standups are different in February. So we can express love and admiration for coworkers it is a secret admirer gratitude. You have been assigned a coworker you aren't fond of. You must express why you are grateful for this person.

Outrail posted:

Without wanting to traumatize posters too much: What's the actual best method for document control? I like having the date but more than one edit a day turns into 20210226a bullshit. Just Filenamev01 through v99 seems the most straight forward and idiot proof (hah). No 'final' version, just pdf it or call it final when it's really done. All prior pdfs or 'finals' get deleted.

SkyeAuroline posted:

Longer commute here (35 min) but same. There's one person within 30 feet of me that I don't have multiple walls in the way for, I make almost no contact outside of that, and WFH is hell thanks to a combo of no usable office space + our network being garbage (another layer of legacy software I might not have talked about) + ADHD shredding my focus without the social pressure of coworkers around to keep me on task.

One of 6 or 7 people in the whole company that came in during that last bit of winter hell up here. Better than trying to work from home (and I forgot my laptop anyway).

Ziv Zulander posted:

At my work we got 50 points for proof of vaccination

Been there three years and I’m still trying to figure out what the points are for

E: OnShift tells me I have 85 points right now

titty_baby_ posted:

I repost a lot of cursed images from the gbs thread here, and I had to admit to a coworker I go on SA because they were.convinced I was a channer

teen witch posted:

Lmao similar hat and people getting LIVID that I’m not answering at 3am IT IS AN EMERGENCY

Forget the fact that my signature, where they got my number from, also contains the country code and address

A Strange Aeon posted:

titty_baby_ posted:

I said I would work random events if they gave us proper notice ahead of time (they never do, its always week of) and boss said they're working to have a calendar for planning these things. Hes said this for months and still never tells us anything until a week or two before, putting all the planning responsibilities on the coordinator, who then tries to delegate but fails because I dodge (and events are usually funded by another source that im not allowed to allocate from) and other employees ignore.

Son of Rodney posted:

Wait, is sick leave unpaid? Are pto days also unpaid?? Is there a single good thing about US employer rights at all?

I sweat listening to us Americans talk about their jobs is like listening to abuse victims sometimes, I am so sorry

Son of Rodney posted:

Lol yeah if I see someone working for 60+ hours a week for no good reason I definitly admire them instead of thinking they're pitiable people who got brainwashed into seeing work as the point of living.

Imagine making work the focus on your life instead of literally everything else.

AHH F/UGH posted:

I mentioned this a while ago but I got an email from the guy who has the passive aggressive chud-ly "nuke the trees" thing in his email signature so I can share this