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gary oldmans diary
Sep 26, 2005

Archer666 posted:

Shove Trump steaks into his mailbox every morning.
is trump steaks already slang for dog turds

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yippeekiyaymf
May 16, 2002

You seriously have issues.

Go catch more racoons in a net and step away from the computer.

Full Metal Jackass posted:

Famously small hands

Small fingered vulgarian

Derpies
Mar 11, 2014

by sebmojo
Suddenly I have to keep my berders behind lock and key

Lil Swamp Booger Baby
Aug 1, 1981

Donald Trump welcome to the neighborhood hello Donald.

ikanreed
Sep 25, 2009

I honestly I have no idea who cannibal[SIC] is and I do not know why I should know.

syq dude, just syq!
What happened to my old neighbor, Donald Trump'?

BAGS FLY AT NOON
Apr 6, 2011

*teaches my dogs and also my family to poo poo on his yard*

BAGS FLY AT NOON
Apr 6, 2011

*petitions town to change name of street to “Joseph R. Biden Lane”*

mom and dad fight a lot
Sep 21, 2006

If you count them all, this sentence has exactly seventy-two characters.
Hey DJ, I hear you have some wild parties! Don't forget your ol' buddy when you've got the hookers and blow all up in here.

Jose Oquendo
Jun 20, 2004

Star Trek: The Motion Picture is a boring movie
I'd steal his cable TV.

mom and dad fight a lot
Sep 21, 2006

If you count them all, this sentence has exactly seventy-two characters.
Hey DJ, I was cruising by don's and picked you up a happy meal. See you at the orgy, buddy.

its all nice on rice
Nov 12, 2006

Sweet, Salty Goodness.



Buglord
Why does the backyard suddenly smell like rotten fish?

Gaunab
Feb 13, 2012
LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL
I hope he dies a slow painful death.

Bright Bart
Apr 27, 2020

False. There is only one electron and it has never stopped.
The McDonald's is on fourth street and it's open late.

How late? I don't quite know. Oh this is important? I guess you can Google it or call them.

BigBadSteve
Apr 29, 2009

I'd ring Australian Immigration and report him as an illegal immigrant.

Universe Master
Jun 20, 2005

Darn Fine Pie

mom and dad fight a lot posted:

Hey DJ, I hear you have some wild parties! Don't forget your ol' buddy when you've got the hookers and blow all up in here.

Look pal, the girls have been drinking all night but there is still only enough piss to go around

BigBadSteve
Apr 29, 2009

Robo Reagan posted:

people keep saying sell their house. turn it in to an air bnb and milk the chuds forever
This presumes Trump would choose to keep living next to you, and that goon on the other side of him who visits him to beat him up every day.

BAGS FLY AT NOON
Apr 6, 2011

I’d ask him every day if he’d seen any good tweets lately

Michael Corleone
Mar 30, 2011

by VideoGames

DarkSoulsTantrum posted:

I’d ask him every day if he’d seen any good tweets lately

I'd sell him my twitter account and let him make tweets on it!

BAGS FLY AT NOON
Apr 6, 2011

I’ll tell you one thing, he would NOT be borrowing my lawnmower!

Outrail
Jan 4, 2009

www.sapphicrobotica.com
:roboluv: :love: :roboluv:
Never thought I'd be the sort of narc who calls immigration but this is an exception.

zaepg
Dec 25, 2008

by sebmojo

EorayMel posted:

How would he react to this?



For full effects display while eating a Trump branded steak.

zaepg fucked around with this message at 19:16 on Jan 31, 2021

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013

Steak is stored in the trump

zaepg
Dec 25, 2008

by sebmojo
Required at least one photo of dear leader Trump in every house. Trump has found good use for the USPS, all American's are sent one Trump steak per week. The country is fed and cholesterol is through the roof.

Ignatius M. Meen
May 26, 2011

Hello yes I heard there was a lovely trainwreck here and...

my immediate neighborhood is all rentals so if he's moving in next to me i immediately start trying to bet on when he gets extradited to new york for state crimes. he definitely won't stay in stl long enough for airbnb to pan out

Bogus Adventure
Jan 11, 2017

More like "Bulges Adventure"
"No, Donald, I have no idea why human poo poo keeps ending up on your lawn."

Brother Tadger
Feb 15, 2012

I'm accidentally a suicide bomber!

Set up directional speakers on the edge of my property aimed at his house and play GROOVE IS IN THE HEART by Dee-lite on repeat

Bogus Adventure
Jan 11, 2017

More like "Bulges Adventure"
*leaves flaming bag of poo on Diaper Don's doorstep*

snergle
Aug 3, 2013

A kind little mouse!

Icochet posted:

For the last time Donald, over here in europe the water level of the toilet is way lower so you can't just lap it up, at least with that hairdo. You need to get a straw. No I'm not pulling you out of there, call maintenace or cia or whatever the gently caress

he said donalds neighbour not his step brother.

BAGS FLY AT NOON
Apr 6, 2011

I’m just gonna laugh uncontrollably every time I see him walk outside.

Blurry Gray Thing
Jun 3, 2009

Bogus Adventure posted:

*leaves flaming bag of poo on Diaper Don's doorstep*

I'm the Secret Service guard who high-fives you as you walk away.

The Voice of Labor
Apr 8, 2020

Blurry Gray Thing posted:

I'm the Secret Service guard who high-fives you as you walk away.

p sure the dump man isn't going to get post presi secret services. like, I think that's part of the impeachment

CPL593H
Oct 28, 2009

I know what you did last summer, and frankly I am displeased.
“EVERY MORNING I WAKE UP AND OPEN PALM SLAM A VHS INTO THE SLOT. ITS THE PISS TAPE AND RIGHT THEN AND THERE I START DOING THE MOVES ALONGSIDE WITH THE MAIN CHARACTER, DONALD TRUMP. I DO EVERY MOVE AND I DO EVERY MOVE HARD. MAKIN SRPINKLING SOUNDS WHEN I GRAB SOMEONE BY THE PUSSY OR EVEN WHEN I MESS UP TECHNIQUE. NOT MANY CAN SAY THEY ESCAPED THE COUNTRY'S MOST DANGEROUS PERVERT. I CAN. I SAY IT AND I SAY IT OUTLOUD EVERYDAY TO PEOPLE IN MY RUSSIAN HOTEL AND ALL THEY DO IS PROVE PEOPLE IN WASHINGTON CAN STILL BE IMMATURE JERKS. AND IVE LEARNED ALL THE LINES AND IVE LEARNED HOW TO MAKE MYSELF AND MY APARTMENT LESS LONELY BY SHOUTING EM ALL. 2 HOURS INCLUDING EATING HAMBERDERS EVERY MORNING. THEN I TWEET ON THE TOILET”

CPL593H
Oct 28, 2009

I know what you did last summer, and frankly I am displeased.
I'd lean out the window every morning at 6:00 am and shout "Release the piss tape, you loving coward!" until he releases the piss tape.

Jabberlock
Nov 29, 2014



CPL593H posted:

I'd lean out the window every morning at 6:00 am and shout "Release the piss tape, you loving coward!" until he releases the piss tape.

He just releases piss into your window.

QuarkJets
Sep 8, 2008

> walk to neighbor's yard
> poo poo on yard

BAGS FLY AT NOON
Apr 6, 2011

Welcome him to the neighborhood with an ice cold pitcher of peach mint tea

mom and dad fight a lot
Sep 21, 2006

If you count them all, this sentence has exactly seventy-two characters.

CPL593H posted:

“EVERY MORNING I WAKE UP AND OPEN PALM SLAM A VHS INTO THE SLOT. ITS THE PISS TAPE AND RIGHT THEN AND THERE I START DOING THE MOVES ALONGSIDE WITH THE MAIN CHARACTER, DONALD TRUMP. I DO EVERY MOVE AND I DO EVERY MOVE HARD. MAKIN SRPINKLING SOUNDS WHEN I GRAB SOMEONE BY THE PUSSY OR EVEN WHEN I MESS UP TECHNIQUE. NOT MANY CAN SAY THEY ESCAPED THE COUNTRY'S MOST DANGEROUS PERVERT. I CAN. I SAY IT AND I SAY IT OUTLOUD EVERYDAY TO PEOPLE IN MY RUSSIAN HOTEL AND ALL THEY DO IS PROVE PEOPLE IN WASHINGTON CAN STILL BE IMMATURE JERKS. AND IVE LEARNED ALL THE LINES AND IVE LEARNED HOW TO MAKE MYSELF AND MY APARTMENT LESS LONELY BY SHOUTING EM ALL. 2 HOURS INCLUDING EATING HAMBERDERS EVERY MORNING. THEN I TWEET ON THE TOILET”

A Fancy Hat
Nov 18, 2016

Always remember that the former President was dumber than the dumbest person you've ever met by a wide margin

You're thinking of things best not thought of, Donald. You never asked me if anyone had ever buried a presidential campaign up there in the Micmac burial ground. Oh, it's been done. What you're thinking of has been done before.

George H W Bush was on his way to a 2nd term, too, til the economic recession. He was supposed to be a 2 term President, but he couldn't get to the bottom of the truth. Sometimes, one term is better.

His re-election was buried on November 3rd, as I remember. It was 4 or 5 days later when George W sees his father walking around, puking on foreign dignitaries. He knew it was an abomination. Coupla days later, we corner the former President in a barn, have to light the drat thing on fire. Whole time he's screaming about not raising taxes and reading his lips. We sat there and watched the barn burn down to cinders, just to make sure nothing came walking out.

So, Donald, I know what you're thinking of doing. You're thinking of taking that old road up past the pet cemetery to the Micmac burial ground, burying your campaign there. Hoping that what comes outta the ground has a better chance then what went into it. But the ground's gone sour, Donald. What comes outta there... ain't what went into it. One term is better.

Brother Tadger
Feb 15, 2012

I'm accidentally a suicide bomber!

A Fancy Hat posted:

Sometimes, dead is betta.

Take it from Joey

https://youtu.be/F3J0iwwsq-w

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Armitage
Aug 16, 2005

"Mathman's not here." "Oh? Where is he?" "He's in the Mathroom."
i probably wouldn't do anything but watch my other neighbor (rush limbaugh) carry trump and his secret service guy on his back for his morning mile and a half run.

Also, his afternoon, and his evening run.

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