who the hell enjoys wrestling

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > who the hell enjoys wrestling

We Got Us A Bread: Jul 23, 2007

Cubone posted:

pro-click

Any of the New Japan NEVER Openweight matches are amazing, it's like they tell them who's winning, and the rest of the match is just "go beat the living gently caress out of each other."

# ¿ Feb 3, 2021 07:18

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# ¿ Apr 28, 2024 00:50

We Got Us A Bread: Jul 23, 2007

Do it ironically posted:

I�m fairly certain wwe matches are basically 100% scripted, I remember seeing leaked videos of the match runners making them run through the matches multiple times

That being said outside the wwe I could be convinced it�s not 100% scripted, or at the very least put together by the wrestlers

But to be fair Drake Maverick literally pissed his pants after the fake pee didn�t work, I don�t remember if that was before or after they ruined his real life wedding, but definitely before he was fired anyways

Yep. The "art" of pro wrestling is supposed to be basically improv. Set up a few big moments ahead of time, and improv the rest..there are people who need the match laid out step-by-step for them, though. Randy Savage famously being one of them, he used to drive people insane by making them go through the entire match, step-by-step, over and over until he had it memorized.

The WWE basically wants to run things like a movie: everyone does the same moves, at the same times in every match, with the same pacing and flow, and everything is heavily scripted. Which is why, for the most part, it's loving miserable to watch.

Edit: The wrestlers in the WWE, unless you're John Cena, The Undertaker, etc. the very top guys, have little to no say in what they do or say. Their characters are given to them, their promos are written for them..which is why they mostly sound like bad theater, and their matches are laid out for them. In AEW, the wrestlers come up with their characters, for the most part, they write their own promos..which is why the AEW wrestlers sound more authentic when they talk..and they're free to come up with their own matches and ideas. The people in charge just tweak things as needed. Britt Baker being a good example of that system. She was supposed to be the top woman wrestler, as a good guy, and it just wasn't working. In WWE, they either would have told her "tough poo poo", or probably blamed her for it not working...in AEW, she went to the people in charge and said "this isn't working, I'd like to try being a bad guy", they said "ok, give it a shot", and now she's a top bad guy.

We Got Us A Bread fucked around with this message at 10:57 on Feb 3, 2021

# ¿ Feb 3, 2021 10:44

We Got Us A Bread: Jul 23, 2007

My Lovely Horse posted:

gently caress I completely just skimmed this and thought Player Uno died. Sucks enough that Brodie did.

On the other hand, seems I really need to get on AEW.

Thank you for reminding me of Jon Moxley's attempt at figuring out the current storyline he's in.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tKKGAVgZtvI

# ¿ Feb 3, 2021 11:01

We Got Us A Bread: Jul 23, 2007

Bogus Adventure posted:

Was this Bray Wyatt? I bet it was Bray Wyatt.

Lmao.

Yes, yes it was. And the David Lynchian fever dream that was that "match" was awesome.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jFnX1xj-sss

# ¿ Feb 13, 2021 21:46

We Got Us A Bread: Jul 23, 2007

Bonzo posted:

Or Scott Hall?

Yeah, but Scott Hall is hosed up for other reasons.

quote:

In 1983, Hall was charged with second degree murder after shooting a man with his own gun (after wrestling it away from him) in an altercation outside of a nightclub in Orlando, Florida. According to Hall, this was done in self-defense. The charges were dropped due to lack of evidence. In a 2011 interview for ESPN, Hall said he is unable to forget the incident.

# ¿ Feb 17, 2021 09:12

We Got Us A Bread: Jul 23, 2007

Eclipse12 posted:

That one wins

Yeah, every Ibushi match is an exercise in "how much does Kota hate his own neck today?" Except when he wrestles Naito, then it becomes a match where the only goal seems to be to gently caress up your own neck as much as possible (assisted by the other wrestler as needed).

# ¿ Feb 18, 2021 01:58

We Got Us A Bread: Jul 23, 2007

FullLeatherJacket posted:

- Steve-O and Chris Pontius bumping for Umaga in a way which gets slightly uncomfortable, as either no-one has taught them how to sell or they've just gotten shitfaced and ignored it, meaning that Umaga responds to them laughing and getting back up with doing stuff that's clearly just intended to actually hurt them and ultimately drops a full-force Jon Jones elbow on his head (now sober Steve-O talking about it here)

My Lovely Horse posted:

Man if you've got the Jackass guys on I figure that's exactly how anyone expects them to take bumps

Yep. They knew how to bump, but no one told them to stay down and sell the moves...on Jackass, their reactions to doing a thing and getting hurt are to laugh and get up as quickly as they can. They did that..and it pissed Umaga off.

Rarity posted:

Snooki did a handspring back elbow which puts her in the top 50% of Wrestlemania celebs

Snooki and the Arrow guy were the only two celebs where I thought that if they wanted to, they could actually be pretty decent at wrestling.

# ¿ Mar 1, 2021 23:21

We Got Us A Bread: Jul 23, 2007

ARMBAR A COP posted:

Briefly back to Lucha chat:

A big high-profile match is Mask vs Mask, where the loser has to demask. There's a long, long history of a luchador unmasking, and turning out to be total babes.

Examples: La Sombra

And your favorite hot grandpa, Dr Wagner Jr. :

La Sombra is now in WWE as Andrade, and you think they could find something for an attractive Mexican man, who's really good at wrestling, and who's (in real life) dating/engaged to Ric Flair's daughter to do...but nope. "Creative has nothing for him."

# ¿ Mar 6, 2021 23:05

We Got Us A Bread: Jul 23, 2007

Yeah, that ending wasn't...great. Mox cut a promo after the show went off the air about how Kenny might be tough, but he can't build an exploding ring worth a poo poo (since we saw that Kenny was the one who built everything), and on the post-show, Tony Khan pretty much confirmed that that's the storyline they're going with.

# ¿ Mar 8, 2021 06:48

We Got Us A Bread: Jul 23, 2007

Gavok posted:

3) A "Diss the Diva" challenge where instead of insulting each other like wrestlers would, the women let loose with some crazy obscenities that were mostly bleeped out with the censors accidentally leaving in some of the harsher stuff in-between bleeps. It was pretty amazing.

That reminds me of this Brandi Rhodes promo.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q0geDvqFMW8

# ¿ Mar 20, 2021 05:54

We Got Us A Bread: Jul 23, 2007

Gavok posted:

And now to wrap it up.

- Brock Lesnar basically squashed Dean Ambrose. Ambrose was becoming majorly popular and they were building towards the match being some kind of crazy hardcore bout. Ambrose had a ton of ideas for stuff to do and Brock just said no to all of it.

From what I remember, Brock had a UFC fight scheduled shortly after that WM, so people knew that there was no way he was going to do anything in that match.

quote:

2019: Seth Rollins vs. The Fiend: Hell in a Cell

As of SummerSlam, WWE put all their eggs in the baskets of Seth Rollins and the Fiend. Rollins was not only Universal Champion, but he was able to cleanly win his feud with Brock Lesnar. The Fiend was Bray Wyatt repackaged as a completely unstoppable threat. Rather than having the Fiend mow through opponents for a few months, they instead went with Rollins vs. Fiend at Hell in a Cell. A match that neither guy should lose. They built towards the match by having Rollins be constantly scared shitless of the Fiend.

The match included a red light, making it look like something out of the Virtual Boy. As an attempt to protect both of them, they just had Rollins hit his finisher a bunch of times, only to get one counts. His insistence of weapon use in a hardcore match led to the referee disqualifying him because, drat it, he was going too far. Regardless, the Fiend just got back up after the match and beat Rollins down. The crowd was NOT happy.

They had a rematch at the next Saudi show and just had the Fiend win the title.

You're leaving out the best part about "weapon in a hardcore match"....the Fiend used a giant novelty hammer, like the ones you see at a carnival to hit the thing to see how strong you are, on Seth...but when Seth tried to use a smaller hammer, the ref cried and begged Seth not to do it and then disqualified him because "that's not who you are."

# ¿ Mar 22, 2021 23:56

We Got Us A Bread: Jul 23, 2007

blunt posted:

To be fair there's also a wrestling dentist, a butcher and his kinky friends, a woman who believes she's an alien, a woman who believes she's a zombie, Tarzan and his large adult dinosaur, a goofy cult, a drunk cowboy, the I like turtles kid, a wrestler who hates having to wrestle, whatever Matt Hardy is doing this week, a stable of twitch streamers and however you'd describe the lucha bros.

AEW is far closer to early 90s "everyone has an identity" WWF than WWE is.

The lucha bros are "violent skeleton ninja" and his brother "No, those moves are not physically possible."

# ¿ Mar 24, 2021 18:56

We Got Us A Bread: Jul 23, 2007

FullLeatherJacket posted:

c) wacky Deadpool comedy where you subvert the meta or go into active farce (invisible hand grenade; Kenny Omega vs schoolgirl; time-travelling knight Lance Steel vs the future version of time-travelling knight Lance Steel in a "Loser Leaves The Present" match)

That 9-year old girl is now Riho, who wrestles occasionally in AEW and was their first Women's champion.

# ¿ Apr 12, 2021 21:55

We Got Us A Bread: Jul 23, 2007

Rarity posted:

Riho was in training when she was 9 but Kenny wrestled a different 9 year old called Haruka (she retired a month later)

I stand corrected. Thanks, Scoopsgal!

# ¿ Apr 12, 2021 22:46

We Got Us A Bread: Jul 23, 2007

Gavok posted:

Goldust was Dustin Rhodes, son of Dusty. As Dusty worked for WCW for so long, Vince McMahon had a weird hate-on for him. There were no less than three WWF gimmicks made to make fun of Dusty in some fashion (Virgil, Akeem the African Dream and short-lived commentator gimmick Reo Rodgers) and when Dusty wrestled in WWF for about a year, he was given a costume covered in yellow polka dots, which is considered by some to be some gigantic insult or something. I never understood it. The dude was already a fat guy in his underwear. I don't see how the polka dots made him worse.

ANYWAY.

While Dustin had a very brief run with WWF in 1991, he returned years later after being fired from WCW for intentionally bleeding during a PPV match. He was given the gimmick of Goldust, an androgynist and breathy movie buff who dressed in all gold and seemed to be really into his opponents. His whole deal was that he would use gay panic as a weapon against his opponents, especially Razor Ramon. Eventually, they added Marlena, Dustin's then-wife, as a valet. He had notable feuds with Roddy Piper (leading to their wacky WrestleMania Backlot Brawl) and Ahmed Johnson (who didn't take kindly when Goldust gave him mouth-to-mouth). It's a gimmick that did not age well, but it is considered to be an important starter for the envelope-pushing Attitude Era.

Eventually, Goldust turned face and did it in the worst way possible by having Jerry Lawler point-blank ask him if he was a [gay slur] and Goldust punched him and said "No!" to a big ovation. Then I think Lawler feuded with him while making jokes about Goldust and Marlena's daughter being a slut. She was like 6. Even worse was when Goldust feuded with Brian Pillman. Pillman won a match where he had Marlena's services for a month. The payoff was supposed to be that Marlena was on his side all the time, but Pillman died mid-angle, so the incomplete storyline was "Brian Pillman raped Goldust's wife a bunch and then died."

Goldust went through various stages, including one where he was the Artist Formerly Known as Goldust and wore more outlandish outfits. Including blackface in one match! There was a time when he was a born-again preacher of some sort, preparing for "His" return, only he was just talking about bringing back the old Goldust gimmick.

Dustin had lots of real drug issues, so he was fired and rehired a lot over the years. In WCW and TNA, he had variations of the Goldust gimmick called Seven and Black Reign, but the less said about those the better. He will actually block you on Twitter if you bring up Black Reign in any way.

His most successful time was in the early 2000s, when he befriended Booker T and they became an odd couple face team. Goldust was more of a comedy character around this time, but one who the crowd could get behind. He then got electrocuted and his character developed Tourette's (which had real people with the affliction outright telling him to please stop doing that) while Booker T moved on to be featured in what wrestling fans remember as "that awful, racist Triple H title feud."

He remained a fixture in WWE for years, for a time teaming up with fellow goofball jobber R-Truth. He and his brother Cody Rhodes became a team to feud with the Authority and had some rocking matches against the Shield. This later led to Cody adopting the gimmick Stardust, which was "Goldust, but even crazier." The conclusion was supposed to be Cody going so insane and losing hold on his identity that the two would feud and have a match at WrestleMania. That idea was abandoned halfway through the storyline and instead, Cody was stuck with the Stardust gimmick until he could finally escape the company.

A pissed Cody then started AEW and Dustin soon followed. They had a Cody vs. Dustin match at one of the earliest PPVs and people absolutely loved it. Dustin's on the AEW roster, but only wrestles once in a while.

Ehhhhh, on the "A pissed Cody then started AEW" part, despite being the front and center person, according to the Bucks and Kenny, he was the last person on board. Tony Khan reached out to the Bucks to float the idea, asked them to see if Kenny/Cody would be interested...the Bucks and Kenny, feeling disrespected by NJPW decided to tell TK that they were in. Cody apparently went back and forth between AEW and staying in NJPW depending on the day, before finally saying that he'd do it. Cody's just the person who's most comfortable being front and center.

Also, Dustin trains the women wrestlers in AEW, which, if you look at the progress they make..Anna Jay has come very far in a year, and Tay Conti has developed more in her time training with Dustin than she did in 3 years with WWE.

# ¿ Apr 18, 2021 04:14

We Got Us A Bread: Jul 23, 2007

Breetai posted:

How did NJPW disrespect Kenny?

From what I remember, he got his NJPW title run, but because he was a foreigner, they refused to give him or the Bucks an actual contract and kept them on handshake deals. So Kenny, who had maybe the best match in that company's history with Okada, and was champ, was kept on a handshake deal making far less than other top-tier wrestlers, as sort of a second-class citizen in NJPW, and not being under an official contract played havoc with his residency in Japan, he could technically be thrown out of Japan at any point. There's a reason why the soft-spoken, introverted Kenny was VERY outspoken about never doing anything with NJPW as long as Harold Meiji was in charge.

# ¿ Apr 18, 2021 18:21

We Got Us A Bread: Jul 23, 2007

Mulaney Power Move posted:

on tnt?

Sort of. Starts on TNT, and then both it and Dynamite are moving to TBS in 2022 to make room for hockey. There are going to be 4 yearly specials on TNT, probably like the themed episodes of Dynamite.

This is a good thing for AEW, they got an "8 figure payday" to move, and they won't get pre-empted for sports anymore.

# ¿ May 19, 2021 22:00

We Got Us A Bread: Jul 23, 2007

One small nitpick (although admittedly one that they're not addressing on-screen), Don Callis doesn't work for Impact anymore. According to Meltzer, he's purely on the AEW payroll now.

# ¿ May 22, 2021 08:59

We Got Us A Bread: Jul 23, 2007

FullLeatherJacket posted:

[*] Smackdown being invaded by ~~BLM protestors~~ anarchists, before the anarchists were then officially drafted to Raw

Oh, it's dumber than that. When RETRIBUTION showed up with excellent wrestlers like MACE and T-BAR, their stated goal was to destroy the company and not listen to anyone, etc. So then they signed WWE contracts...because reasons? Because then they could be told what to do? Because "show up, beat people's asses, leave" wasn't working for them?

# ¿ May 22, 2021 22:40

We Got Us A Bread: Jul 23, 2007

DeadFatDuckFat posted:

I'm going to enjoy the hell out of the wrestling ppv on Sunday

AEW PPV's usually deliver. It's a shocking thing for them to do, I know, but storyline-wise the right and logical person almost always wins.

At least as long as nothing's supposed to explode, but even then, the match that preceded the "explosion" was great.

# ¿ May 26, 2021 23:19

We Got Us A Bread: Jul 23, 2007

Rarity posted:

Pragmatica has injected EPA with A LETHAL DOSE OF POISON

What kind of POISON? Like..the 80's hair metal kind, the Bel Biv Devoe kind, or the Prodigy kind? Because there's a guy who's got the remedy for the last one.

# ¿ May 30, 2021 09:19

We Got Us A Bread: Jul 23, 2007

Gavok posted:

This thread has been getting some love on Twitter and it's worth posting here.

https://twitter.com/ChrisBrosnahan/status/1411638991343042562

Yeah, but someone important isn't very happy with it:

https://twitter.com/theAdamPage/status/1412430815498223619

# ¿ Jul 7, 2021 08:39

We Got Us A Bread: Jul 23, 2007

Rarity posted:

Yes, Adam Page is very mad about it which is why he's sharing it with all of his followers

Sarcasm/playful "he's very angry with this.." doesn't translate well over the internet, does it?

# ¿ Jul 7, 2021 08:48

We Got Us A Bread: Jul 23, 2007

For those of you who are fans of NJPW, you might want to check out Impact's Slammiversary that aired tonight.

JAY WHITE!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

# ¿ Jul 18, 2021 05:13

We Got Us A Bread: Jul 23, 2007

Vince MechMahon posted:

I believe it was Karl Anderson so said in an interview a while back that Finn is in a stage of his career where all he cares about is the money because he feels he already perfected his art in New Japan. So unless he's released for budget cuts in a month and a half I'm sure he'll stick around as long as they keep paying him. Seems like Nakamura is in the same boat.

Yeah, Finn created Bullet Club and did his "art" wrestling in NJPW, now he's married and wants to get his retirement money. Nakamura is a bit different, in that while he does enjoy living in the U.S. and going surfing all the time, he's said on twitter that he's not happy. In Nakamura's book, he's very clear that he's willing to give a company exactly as much time and effort as they're willing to put into him, so if he seems like he's coasting, that's entirely because that's how much effort he thinks the WWE deserves.

# ¿ Aug 2, 2021 01:32

We Got Us A Bread: Jul 23, 2007

BigBallChunkyTime posted:

Jericho is in favor of anything that helps wrestling. He's fully supportive of Nyla Rose (as he should be) because she's good for wrestling and good for the company. But he has some pretty lovely other opinions on stuff.

There are also pictures of his wife attending the Capital insurrection.

# ¿ Sep 27, 2021 02:05

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# ¿ Apr 28, 2024 00:50

We Got Us A Bread: Jul 23, 2007

mallratcal posted:

I see the WWE is on another firing spree.

Yep, including a lot of "names"...Keith Lee, Karrion Kross, Ember Moon, Taya Valkyrie, etc. Which is good for AEW's women's division, they released some quality wrestlers.

# ¿ Nov 5, 2021 22:54

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