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ELI PORTER
Sep 16, 2007

I posted on Something Awful and all I got was this lousy t-shirt
you could have another guy who assists in feeding the hogs by geently corralling them and whatnot, manually, he would be called the Hog Toucher.

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Full Metal Jackass
Jan 22, 2001

Rabid bats are welcome in my home
Some hogs in heat cause a commotion. Farmers must get involved to break it up.

The Walrus
Jul 9, 2002

by Fluffdaddy

Visible Stink posted:

When I worked in the produce department of a supermarket our reason was that there was no way to tell whether the person was actually going to give it to their animals or if they were going to eat it themselves. If they ate it and got sick, the supermarket would be liable since they cannot sell food intended for human consumption which is not fit for eating. So you just have to tell em no and chuck it all away which I agree kind of sucks

Additionally even if they DO feed it to their animals there's still liability - a local place i worked at once stopped doing this when a hog died due to a box staple in his intestine

Full Metal Jackass
Jan 22, 2001

Rabid bats are welcome in my home

The Walrus posted:

Additionally even if they DO feed it to their animals there's still liability - a local place i worked at once stopped doing this when a hog died due to a box staple in his intestine

An intestinal hog hemorrhage, if you will

phobo
Aug 7, 2008
I want to know why they don't feed smaller hogs to bigger ones then those to even bigger ones so you just end up with one massive hog?

Mozi
Apr 4, 2004

Forms change so fast
Time is moving past
Memory is smoke
Gonna get wider when I die
Nap Ghost
this idea fits perfectly with my plan for everybody to only eat slop from now on

Zippy the Bummer
Dec 14, 2008

Silent Majority
The Don
LORD COMMANDER OF THE UKRAINIAN ARMED FORCES
these are all good ideas



Ventral EggSac
Dec 3, 2019

Why don't hogs, the largest grocery, simply not eat all of the other groceries?

Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon
Trash hog for sale, never fed

Chinatown
Sep 11, 2001

by Fluffdaddy
Fun Shoe
i eat slop and i stink

frown upon me

Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon
I'd kill for some ducking slop rn

AARD VARKMAN
May 17, 1993
Hogswap, the new app for trading hogs without all those pesky dealer fees.*


*App currently available in San Francisco only

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013

Can I pay a reasonable sum to feed the hogs slop waste I don't need to touch the hogs I just want to watch them eat garbage and maybe shout at them

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013

Or if not would I be able to write letters to my favorite hog and then have the hog eat my letters while watching it even if I have to watch it via webcam or some other remote viewing service I would like to know that my hog received its letter and got to enjoy it

Full Metal Jackass
Jan 22, 2001

Rabid bats are welcome in my home
Do hogs have a soul?

Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon
It's stored in the balls

Full Metal Jackass
Jan 22, 2001

Rabid bats are welcome in my home
That actually makes sense thx

GABA ghoul
Oct 29, 2011

A hog would get seriously ill from the average american's diet

AARD VARKMAN
May 17, 1993

GABA ghoul posted:

A hog would get seriously ill from the average american's diet

NO WONDER HEALTH CARES SO ESPENSVE!!!!

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013

GABA ghoul posted:

A hog would get seriously ill from the average american's diet

This isn't true I have raised multiple hogs to fruition on a complete American diet with each hog completing multiple cycles at maximum efficiency.

Mozi
Apr 4, 2004

Forms change so fast
Time is moving past
Memory is smoke
Gonna get wider when I die
Nap Ghost
we should probably let the hogs eat all our corpses instead of just burying them

Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon

Mozi posted:

we should probably let the hogs eat all our corpses instead of just burying them

Why waste the value? Let the people eat corpses, and we'll feed the unpalatable disgusting bits to the hogs!

Full Metal Jackass
Jan 22, 2001

Rabid bats are welcome in my home
All of this talk about hogs is making me hungry for some expired grocery slop

AARD VARKMAN
May 17, 1993
Business idea: Hogwash. I haven't determined any specifics yet but the name is all you really need to make big $$$

Full Metal Jackass
Jan 22, 2001

Rabid bats are welcome in my home

Aardvark! posted:

Business idea: Hogwash. I haven't determined any specifics yet but the name is all you really need to make big $$$

Big Beef City handwashing hogs people bring in. He pays you to wash them.

SulfurMonoxideCute
Feb 9, 2008

I was under direct orders not to die
🐵❌💀

Because then the hog farmers would go in and tamper with food they want for their hogs to make sure they get it and not people

Not even joking, I used to work in the pet department at Wal-Mart and when I suggested we donate damaged bags and tins to animal shelters, I was told that would make the animal shelter workers come in and destroy product. Same goes for donating food or clothing to homeless shelters.

Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon
Lmao if you believe this management spiel for a moment

Do it ironically
Jul 13, 2010

by Pragmatica
Slaughter hogs so we can make hot dogs from their anuses, and then feed it back to them in a grocery store slop

Circle of life

meat police
Nov 14, 2015

they do and I'll have you to stop calling me that thank you

ELI PORTER
Sep 16, 2007

I posted on Something Awful and all I got was this lousy t-shirt

Picnic Princess posted:

Because then the hog farmers would go in and tamper with food they want for their hogs to make sure they get it and not people

Not even joking, I used to work in the pet department at Wal-Mart and when I suggested we donate damaged bags and tins to animal shelters, I was told that would make the animal shelter workers come in and destroy product. Same goes for donating food or clothing to homeless shelters.

Play
Apr 25, 2006

Strong stroll for a mangy stray

Picnic Princess posted:

Because then the hog farmers would go in and tamper with food they want for their hogs to make sure they get it and not people

Not even joking, I used to work in the pet department at Wal-Mart and when I suggested we donate damaged bags and tins to animal shelters, I was told that would make the animal shelter workers come in and destroy product. Same goes for donating food or clothing to homeless shelters.

Hahaha it is pretty funny to picture SPCA with its own intelligence division sending out militias to sabotage enemy supplies so they fall into their hands

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013

What if we could train the hogs to work in the store and paid them with old food and also they got to wear like cute hats and little boots

AARD VARKMAN
May 17, 1993
"Cleanup on aisle 9"

sound of 30-50 feral employees stampeding

Inexplicable Humblebrag
Sep 20, 2003

horg

Full Metal Jackass
Jan 22, 2001

Rabid bats are welcome in my home

Sophy Wackles
Dec 17, 2000

> access main security grid
access: PERMISSION DENIED.





Remember when "teacup pigs" were a thing and people thought they would make great house pets only instead of saying small and cute they grew to be like 200lb.

gary oldmans diary
Sep 26, 2005
uh hello? leviticus 11:7 anyone

human garbage bag
Jan 8, 2020

by Fluffdaddy
why not turn the food into charcoal and then use it to power a steam generator so they don't have to pay for electricity?

Zippy the Bummer
Dec 14, 2008

Silent Majority
The Don
LORD COMMANDER OF THE UKRAINIAN ARMED FORCES
oh no all this waste it's not green and wasting food

just feed it to the drat hogs and then eat them

hogs will eat fresh cow manure and turn it into edible tasty safe meat. ever seen a hog dive snout-first into a steaming hot cow pie? i have, and i ate that hog a few months later. hogs are literally recycling machines from hell



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Zippy the Bummer
Dec 14, 2008

Silent Majority
The Don
LORD COMMANDER OF THE UKRAINIAN ARMED FORCES
think of all the great pork products that could be given to the starving people of the world if grocery stores just fed their old poo poo to hogs

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