Breakfast In Bed

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kuskus

surprise! *trips over slipper, hard silver tray full of French toast topples onto the bed, gallon jug of cream gets stuck on the guest�s head, eight blueberries get lodged between their toes, thirty ounces of dry cereal get stuck in the humidifier, piping hot coffee scalds away remaining l�egg hair*

# ? Feb 4, 2021 11:12

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# ? Apr 19, 2024 01:56

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN: I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.

Trying to sleep on an orange juice soaked mattress. Again.

# ? Feb 4, 2021 11:15

Luvcow: One day nearer spring

since i adopted a cannibal lifestyle this concept has become much easier

# ? Feb 4, 2021 14:48

biosterous

they call it breakfast in bed but they always put it on top of the bed not in it, what gives,i would like a refund thanks

^{^{thank you saoshyant for this sig!!!}}
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he/him

# ? Feb 4, 2021 14:51

FutonForensic

the perfect bed food is one that doesn't spill or leave crumbs:

a bowl of skittles

that's it there's nothing else

# ? Feb 4, 2021 15:16

barnold: what do u do when yuo're born to play fps? guess there's nothing left to do but play fps. boom headshot

I remember reading a Family Circus in the funnies once where the kid was like "your breakfast in bed is on the stairs" with a pancake like half flopped down the stairs. as a kid I had no idea what the joke was and I sat there for hours in a Cow Tools-esque manner trying to decipher it. anyway I was a stupid rear end fuckin kid

# ? Feb 4, 2021 16:05

kuskus

[5:00 AM] happy valentine's day baby! *steps onto waterbed wearing platform shoes, off-season gravy boat full of hollandaise tips into your open mouth waterboarding you with a hint of lemon and smoked paprika, two slices of carmelized canadian bacon land squarely on each of your eye sockets*

outro music:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OnFlx2Lnr9Q&t=21s

# ? Feb 4, 2021 19:51

canyoneer: I only have canyoneyes for you

stayed at a bed and breakfast and it was great that i was able to wake up and start immediately eating my waffle pillow, but i think it may have caused my face to break out

# ? Feb 4, 2021 20:15

Buttchocks: No, I like my hat, thanks.

Breakfast Is Bed
*pulls giant pancake over self and rolls over*

# ? Feb 4, 2021 22:34

Escape From Noise

Falling asleep with a hot water bottle full of hot water and irish oats at my feet. Now I won't have to get out of bed for breakfast! Can't believe I'm still single!

# ? Feb 5, 2021 18:23

kuskus

# ? Feb 5, 2021 23:02

google THIS

But try having lunch in bed and everyone thinks you're a weirdo

# ? Feb 6, 2021 02:35

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN: I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.

Honey, have you seen my giant marshmallow?

# ? Feb 6, 2021 03:59

Escape From Noise

Smooching a pancake and wishing it a good night as I tuck them in.

# ? Feb 6, 2021 06:44

kuskus

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pqQe4w9XNO0

# ? Feb 14, 2021 21:58

treasure bear

Buttchocks posted:

Breakfast Is Bed
*pulls giant pancake over self and rolls over*

# ? Feb 15, 2021 02:08

Ass-penny

I do something I call breakfast in head. Basically I wake up and dissociate into my phone until I realise I'm supposed to go to work and have forgotten to eat anything, again.

# ? Feb 15, 2021 21:58

nut

confusing my duvet for a stack of Arby�s breakfast MeatSheets(tm)

# ? Feb 17, 2021 02:00

Areola Grande: it's a free country u pervs

nut posted:

confusing my duvet for a stack of Arby’s breakfast MeatSheets(tm)

# ? Feb 17, 2021 03:12

alexandriao

Luvcow posted:

since i adopted a cannibal lifestyle this concept has become much easier

I tried doing this but people kept thinking i wanted to have sex with them and i was too awkward to eat them after.

# ? Feb 17, 2021 03:20

alexandriao

"I want to eat you"

"Well, you're cute, I'm depressed, I might let you if you ask nicely :wink"

"*sigh* No I mean I want to consume your flesh"

"Oh? Is that all you want to do?"

*exasperated sigh*

# ? Feb 17, 2021 03:22

Finger Prince

Breakfasts in bed are really good, but are you legit gonna order one at a time of day when regular toppings in bed are available?

# ? Feb 17, 2021 03:37

alexandriao

Finger Prince posted:

regular toppings in bed

# ? Feb 17, 2021 03:43

Escape From Noise

Falling asleep with rolled oats in my mouth so they'll be cooked by the time I wake up for work.

# ? Mar 10, 2021 19:28

RickRogers: Woh, is that a thing I like??

Filling my duvet cover with Müsli and milk and then swinging it around my head to ensure even mixing.

# ? Mar 10, 2021 19:34

fps_nug: horsing around no longer

barnold posted:

I remember reading a Family Circus in the funnies once where the kid was like "your breakfast in bed is on the stairs" with a pancake like half flopped down the stairs. as a kid I had no idea what the joke was and I sat there for hours in a Cow Tools-esque manner trying to decipher it. anyway I was a stupid rear end fuckin kid

I actually dont get it but maybe it's because I just woke up

# ? Mar 10, 2021 20:49

AARD VARKMAN

i like to eat crumbly crackers in bed like a freakin boss

# ? Mar 10, 2021 22:46

alexandriao

(in the year 2030)

I wake up to my robot making me breakfast in bed. at the last minute the beans land on the floor and the bedsheets, along with the freshly grilled sasquatch meat, and my Human Serum. I hungrily leap out of bed as expected and lick it off the floor like a dog, the robot congratulating me on celebrating another Goverment Festoon Day in the proper fashion

# ? Mar 11, 2021 02:38

Escape From Noise

Slippin' a little maple syrup into my IV bag this morning

# ? Mar 11, 2021 17:38

Escape From Noise

fps_nug posted:

I actually dont get it but maybe it's because I just woke up

It's just that the kid dropped breakfast on the way to his mom's bed. What a scamp!

# ? Mar 11, 2021 17:39

kuskus

Spent the money from my summer job 3D printing a powersuit from Fallout. it has positive air pressure and oxygen so I just lay in it all day. I rigged up my meals so that when I press my thumb on my right hand, a blueberry RX bar conveys into my mouth with a servo at 5mm/s for good eatin�.

# ? Jun 29, 2022 05:04

sb hermit

FutonForensic posted:

the perfect bed food is one that doesn't spill or leave crumbs:

a bowl of skittles

that's it there's nothing else

A basket of hard boiled eggs

as long as you don't choke on them

# ? Jun 29, 2022 07:59

sb hermit

I posit that breakfast in bed must consist of at least one dish which has egg as an ingredient.

Alternatively, any other dish rich in carbohydrates or fiber is also acceptable.

So you can have a tin of beans in bed and that should count as breakfast.

# ? Jun 29, 2022 08:02

Finger Prince

You know, with all the different things people have included in cans of beans, I find it shocking that nobody as yet has thought to include an egg.

# ? Jun 29, 2022 08:13

sb hermit

Finger Prince posted:

You know, with all the different things people have included in cans of beans, I find it shocking that nobody as yet has thought to include an egg.

I figure that the stereotypical person eating beans for dinner would likely be having just a smoke for breakfast

# ? Jun 29, 2022 08:16

Tebulot: im hip now bois

Standing at the end of the bed, underhand tossing single pieces of breakfast at my sleeping wife

# ? Jun 29, 2022 09:38

kuskus

Tebulot posted:

Standing at the end of the bed, underhand tossing single pieces of breakfast at my sleeping wife

https://youtu.be/O9_w90mhz-o

# ? Jun 29, 2022 11:10

Tebulot: im hip now bois

kuskus posted:

https://youtu.be/O9_w90mhz-o

Lmao yes

# ? Jun 29, 2022 13:29

Nosfereefer: IF YOU FIND THIS POSTER OUTSIDE BYOB, PLEASE RETURN THEM. WE ARE VERY WORRIED AND WE MISS THEM

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# ? Jun 29, 2022 13:50

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# ? Apr 19, 2024 01:56

Armitag3: Forget it Jake, it's cybertown.

pulling the bedfryingpan from under my bed so i can get started on those eggs hollandaise

# ? Jul 1, 2022 12:38

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