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LargeHadron posted:You...napped in 40F wearing a jacket? Yes. It had a fluffy hood that worked like a decent pillow
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Feb 11, 2021 00:44
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Antivehicular posted:I was once on the highway behind someone who had stopped halfway up an on-ramp and was trying to reverse down. It pretty clearly wasn't any kind of mechanical failure, just going "whoops, didn't mean to get on there!" I think about this person a lot. I was driving down a highway on-ramp when I almost got into a head-on collision with someone who had made a u-turn to exit the highway using the on-ramp. Your brain kind of short circuits when someone is driving directly at you in a car when they aren't supposed to be, so I just pulled over and let her by before I realized that she was driving the wrong way. The driver had the dumbest loving confused look on her face when she was driving by.
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Feb 11, 2021 00:49
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I worked in student media in college and every fall there would be at least one scandal involving a death or a sexual assault by a frat. One year a pledge died after falling out of a tree in the back yard of some frat house and landing on his neck while extremely drunk. We soon discovered that the dead kid's parents had supplied all of the booze for the party that their son died at.
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Feb 11, 2021 00:49
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People who unknowingly constantly gave money so somebody could buy a high end sports car and gourmet cookies
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Feb 11, 2021 02:45
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I had to take an ancient world history elective in college. We learned about ancient Mesopotamia, ancient Greece, ancient Rome, and so on. There was a solid reoccurring theme there. I think it was right around mid-terms when a student a couple of rows behind me asked the question, "When are we going to get into U.S. history?" Professor: "Excuse me?" Student: "Isn't this U.S. History?" Entire class: *gasps* Professor: "This is ancient world history. You need to speak to your advisor right away." illBilliam fucked around with this message at 03:19 on Feb 11, 2021 |
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Feb 11, 2021 03:16
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Empty Sandwich posted:this was a while ago and not my story, but my girlfriend at the time was working a temp job at a college bookstore. her coworkers were teenage girls. It sounds like a joke from a sitcom, but my ex took driver's ed late and one of the highschool girls asked how the deer know to cross specifically at deer crossing signs.
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Feb 11, 2021 03:21
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Rock Paper Tongue posted:I used to work in a grocery store, back in the dairy section. One week, I came back from my day off to find that my manager had pulled all of our product out and was powerwashing the entire dairy cooler, top to bottom. Reminds me of when I worked for a pharma company that made syringes and IV bags that were shipped to hospitals same day. One of our shipping guys cut his hand and didn't notice it, getting blood on an entire box full of IV bags which they found when they opened it in the operating room. It shut down the operating room for a day while they disinfected. Luckily that didn't make the news. The steroid treatments with fungal meningitis did when they killed a bunch of people did, however.
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Feb 11, 2021 03:59
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illBilliam posted:I had to take an ancient world history elective in college. We learned about ancient Mesopotamia, ancient Greece, ancient Rome, and so on. There was a solid reoccurring theme there. I've still got Terrible Moron Student PTSD a decade after my last exam, and this story made my heart-rate increase noticeably. Aaaaaa
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Feb 11, 2021 05:17
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One summer in between I think my sophomore and junior years in college, one of my close friend's hometown homies visited. So, of course, we threw a rager. We were pregaming beforehand, slamming Keystone Ice and smoking blunts to the face, then we polished off a bottle of Jager. We were crossfaded as gently caress at like.. 4pm. Good times. We stepped outside to smoke again and I brought the Jager bottle and felt the urge, as one does, to smash glass in the street. "gently caress this bottle!!" I screamed as I chucked it airborne a few stories and it smashed satisfyingly on the curb. Nice. Little while later we decide to go to the pad where we're hosting the party, so we leave the building and start walking down the street. I see fragments of the Jager bottle in the street, but what the gently caress, a good chunk of the bottle was intact! "DOUBLE gently caress THIS BOTTLE!" I yelled, as I ran up to it, jumped as high as I could, and stomped my foot down on it. Wearing your basic Converse shoes, there was maybe a half centimeter of protection of flimsy rubber between my foot and that glass. I immediately paused and frowned, walked over and sat on the curb. Untied my shoe, took it off and turned it sideways to look inside... and blood just poured out of. Probably a good 50mL or so. Look at my foot and... yup, giant gash in it. gently caress! We went back inside and scrambled for any kind of first aid kit, bandages, loving anything. Nope. One of the hometown friends runs into the room I'm sitting in from the kitchen and it's like "USE THIS TO PUT PRESSURE ON IT" and he handed me a slice of WonderBread.  Well, I do as I'm told, and press a piece of bread to my still bleeding foot wound. Maybe it helped? Dunno. Other hometown friend runs in with a sauce pot full of water and says "We need to even out the osmotic pressure, stick your foot in water, it'll slow the bleeding!" I... don't think that's accurate, but alright. Cue me sticking my foot in the pot and my wound just blossoming red everywhere with no sign of stopping. Hmm. At that point was when we realized... why the gently caress didn't we just.. use toilet paper? So we cut a roll apart, and using duct tape made it into a sort of sandal. Success! Time to go party! And we headed out. At that point the adrenaline had worn off and even in my absolutely crunk state, that poo poo hurt. So I limped to the party, literally dragging the injured foot behind me as I couldn't put any pressure on it without my leg almost buckling. Was a great party, I got the nickname "Bloodfoot Truant" out of it, fuckin sweet. Wake up the next morning with the worst pain ever in my foot, get taken to the emergency room. They pulled an almost 1cm² piece of green glass out of my foot. Man, that was a summer I'll never forget.
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Feb 11, 2021 14:03
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And you still kept that foot? you lucky bastard.
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Feb 11, 2021 14:13
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By popular demand posted:And you still kept that foot? you lucky bastard. Standing on it right now! 1cm² is probs a bit of an exaggeration tbh, probably 1/2cm². Still not sure how I explained the ensuing limp to my parents..
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Feb 11, 2021 14:16
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stab posted:People who unknowingly constantly gave money so somebody could buy a high end sports car and gourmet cookies Hm? Also, how are all these hillbillies getting live mortar rounds?
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Feb 11, 2021 14:54
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It's a Lowtax reference. And yes I regret giving him money, but not for that reason.
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Feb 11, 2021 14:59
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PinheadSlim posted:He got sent home that day and was fired, and his wife who still worked at the store would never ever forgive me for "ruining" his life. Lmao that's on him.
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Feb 11, 2021 15:49
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PinheadSlim posted:That reminds me actually, when I was working at that produce section job I got a pedo fired. Vaguely relevant to the thread because the guy was a complete moron, thank god, and it was super easy to get him fired. Soooo the wife didn't care that he's not only trying to seduce other women, but also that he's a pedophile?
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Feb 11, 2021 16:54
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Shumagorath posted:gently caress it's an IRL Turkey Drop Empty Sandwich posted:As God is my witness, I thought reindeer could fly. i love you both
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Feb 11, 2021 17:06
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LargeHadron posted:Soooo the wife didn't care that he's not only trying to seduce other women, but also that he's a pedophile? The cycle of abuse is a hell of thing. 
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Feb 11, 2021 17:19
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