N****R 2021: Welcome back, Kyle Larson! - The Something Awful Forums

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Supposedly About Sports > N****R 2021: Welcome back, Kyle Larson!

Peanut President: Nov 5, 2008

No one else would make the thread so HERE IT IS

YEE HAW AND GADZOOKS Y'ALL ITS TIME FOR NASCAR AGAIN!
Congrats to last year's champ Chase "MAGA 2020" Elliott

Lots of changes this year to the schedule including ROAD COURSES (!!!) and LOTS OF STUPID poo poo (OF COURSE!)

other notes:
new car next year (allegedly)
kyle larson's permanent ban was actually just for like 7 months
kyle busch won the clash when chase elliott wrecked ryan blaney in the final chicane

edit: oh woops the schedule was wrong

Peanut President fucked around with this message at 05:53 on Feb 11, 2021

# ? Feb 11, 2021 05:44

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Mar 1, 2021 16:32

Peanut President: Nov 5, 2008

welcome concerned SAS citizens wondering about the name, Kyle Larson called someone the N word on live tv and got away with it

# ? Feb 11, 2021 05:46

Peanut President: Nov 5, 2008

here we go

# ? Feb 11, 2021 05:55

Elitist Bitch: Sep 13, 2007

gently caress Kyle Larson.

Bubba Wallace

# ? Feb 11, 2021 06:21

Feels Villeneuve: Oct 7, 2007; Kanye West - Touch the Sky

# ? Feb 11, 2021 14:33

CactusWeasle: Aug 1, 2006; It's not a party until the bomb squad says it is

73rd and final NASCAR season

# ? Feb 11, 2021 15:30

CBJSprague24: Dec 5, 2010; Again, Torts took him to a very high mountain and showed him Nationwide and all its splendor.

"All this I will give you," he said, "if you will lay down and block for me." -Jackets 15:16

Peanut President posted:

here we go

I don't know about you, but I like it when the PLAYOFFS for all three series start on three different weeks. That's not confusing, no siree.

As for actual news, in perhaps the most random Speedweeks entry we've seen in a LONG time, Rich Bickle is running the ARCA race.
https://twitter.com/richbickle/status/1359875581035360258/photo/1

# ? Feb 11, 2021 16:07

Elitist Bitch: Sep 13, 2007

If you're going to watch racin' this weekend don't forget to join the Discord if you haven't already:

https://discord.gg/2vZRyYA

# ? Feb 11, 2021 20:12

Peanut President: Nov 5, 2008

we were talking in discord about how dumb the duel is so here's my idea to set the 500:
Top 2 Qualifiers are the pole sitters
Top 10 in each of the twin races get in
The 16 Chase drivers from last year get a provisional so they get in
That leaves 2+ spots available (depending on where the 16 Chase drivers end up) that you hand out on time OR you can do something fun and have the past champions provisional and a diversity spot for a woman/non-white dude/minority-owned team to get a freebie if they miss the race otherwise

edit: the fun part is, aside from the twin races you can do all this for the rest of the year too. The Chasers get their Free Pass and everyone else actually has to work to make the race.

# ? Feb 12, 2021 01:29

Elitist Bitch: Sep 13, 2007

Honestly it's not any worse than what they're doing now, but lol can you imagine the pearl clutching if they did an "affirmative action" provisional?

# ? Feb 12, 2021 03:41

CBJSprague24: Dec 5, 2010; Again, Torts took him to a very high mountain and showed him Nationwide and all its splendor.

"All this I will give you," he said, "if you will lay down and block for me." -Jackets 15:16

Peanut President posted:

we were talking in discord about how dumb the duel is so here's my idea to set the 500:
Top 2 Qualifiers are the pole sitters
Top 10 in each of the twin races get in
The 16 Chase drivers from last year get a provisional so they get in
That leaves 2+ spots available (depending on where the 16 Chase drivers end up) that you hand out on time OR you can do something fun and have the past champions provisional and a diversity spot for a woman/non-white dude/minority-owned team to get a freebie if they miss the race otherwise

edit: the fun part is, aside from the twin races you can do all this for the rest of the year too. The Chasers get their Free Pass and everyone else actually has to work to make the race.

I like it, but what happens if the Chase drivers finish in the top 10? Just keep going down the previous year's standings until you get an equal number?

And dear God, somebody would run Natalie Decker in a car with a guaranteed spot and it would be ugly.

# ? Feb 12, 2021 03:46

Peanut President: Nov 5, 2008

Elitist Bitch posted:

Honestly it's not any worse than what they're doing now, but lol can you imagine the pearl clutching if they did an "affirmative action" provisional?

Yeah it'd rule! Especially when you get someone pulling an Elizabeth Warren

CBJSprague24 posted:

I like it, but what happens if the Chase drivers finish in the top 10? Just keep going down the previous year's standings until you get an equal number?

And dear God, somebody would run Natalie Decker in a car with a guaranteed spot and it would be ugly.

the top 10 thing is first, the 16 chase guys just get a free pass *if* they finish out of the top 10, everyone left is time

# ? Feb 12, 2021 07:22

CactusWeasle: Aug 1, 2006; It's not a party until the bomb squad says it is

Jesus Christ how did NASCAR not throw the yellow with Cope doing 3 mph on the back stretch

# ? Feb 12, 2021 12:38

CBJSprague24: Dec 5, 2010; Again, Torts took him to a very high mountain and showed him Nationwide and all its splendor.

"All this I will give you," he said, "if you will lay down and block for me." -Jackets 15:16

Please rise and remove your hats for the National Anthem of the tertiary NASCAR series:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dlZdQyBpo3s

(Now on FOX Sports 1.)

# ? Feb 13, 2021 00:35

Nit Wit Dog Shit: Sep 28, 2000; Toilet Rascal

So, then there's this:

Brian Vickers Didn't Retire Because of Blood Clots

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VHoPF3NqDac

Oh boy.

I'm just posting this cuz I found it crazy. I forget where I even found this.

Edit: I found it watching British people reacting to NASCAR crashes.

# ? Feb 13, 2021 11:22

BMB5150: Oct 24, 2010; 2018 Indianapolis 500 Winner

Pretty damning that Brian hasn't bothered to leave the marriage considering it's knowledge his wife was with Epstein.

# ? Feb 13, 2021 14:30

CBJSprague24: Dec 5, 2010; Again, Torts took him to a very high mountain and showed him Nationwide and all its splendor.

"All this I will give you," he said, "if you will lay down and block for me." -Jackets 15:16

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ev26vU6_TOo

Race fans, it's time for the main event of the weekend. Yes, it's not the last race of Speedweeks but (typically) the first.

LOL ARCA is next on FOX Sports 1.

# ? Feb 13, 2021 18:46

OJ MIST 2 THE DICK: Sep 10, 2008; Anytime I need to see your face I just close my eyes
And I am taken to a place
Where your crystal minds and magenta feelings
Take up shelter in the base of my spine
Sweet like a chica cherry cola
-Cheap Trick; Nap Ghost

Peanut President posted:

welcome concerned SAS citizens wondering about the name, Kyle Larson called someone the N word on live tv and got away with it

technically it was a heated gaming moment

# ? Feb 13, 2021 20:16

CBJSprague24: Dec 5, 2010; Again, Torts took him to a very high mountain and showed him Nationwide and all its splendor.

"All this I will give you," he said, "if you will lay down and block for me." -Jackets 15:16

Peanut President posted:

here we go

I'm going to make The Allen Bestwick Memorial "If You're New to NASCAR" Effortpost in case there are new fans tuning in for the Daytona 500:

NASCAR Cup Series: The top level of NASCAR, not the top level of entertainment. This is where your stars are and where everyone wants to end up. The racing hasn't been that great in the last few years because they keep screwing around with the aero package, but we'll have a new car next year which hopefully doesn't suck as much.

Top drivers: Kyle Busch, Kevin Harvick, Denny Hamlin, Martin Truex, Jr., Joey Logano, Brad Keselowski.

NASCAR Xfinity Series: NASCAR's B-league. Prior to about 2006, this series was fun, with a mix of up-and-coming driver and washouts from the Cup series, with occasional appearances by Cup series drivers. From 2006-2018 or so, this series was rear end, but it's made a comeback to its old mix of drivers the last couple years and is almost more fun than Cup. The AHL to the NHL.

Top drivers: Justin Allgaier, Austin Cindric

NASCAR ~~Gander Outdoors~~ Camping World Truck Series: NASCAR's tertiary series which races:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dlZdQyBpo3s

TRUCKS TRUCKS TRUCKS TRUCKS. The only series which makes tracks like Kansas and Texas entertaining.

Top drivers: Matt "Winless 2019 Champion" Crafton, Johnny Sauter, Brett Moffitt, John Hunter Nemechek.

# ? Feb 14, 2021 20:07

chamois: Oct 24, 2010

"Denny Hamlin is dropping to the back, maybe he's looking for Bubba Wallace back there" lol

# ? Feb 14, 2021 20:10

big nipples big life: May 12, 2014

lmao

# ? Feb 14, 2021 20:10

chamois: Oct 24, 2010

getting into a wreck with derrick cope is an inauspicious start to bubba's season

# ? Feb 14, 2021 20:17

Pinecone Sample: Oct 12, 2010; THIS ACCOUNT HAS BEEN SEIZED
by the United States Federal Bureau of Investigation in accordance with a seizure warrant issued pursuant to 69 U.S.C Sec. 420

Wreck 'em if you've got' em

# ? Feb 14, 2021 20:23

chamois: Oct 24, 2010

rip every car

# ? Feb 14, 2021 20:24

chamois: Oct 24, 2010

a masterclass in bump drafting from christopher bell

# ? Feb 14, 2021 20:26

Peanut President: Nov 5, 2008

race is red flagged, go home

# ? Feb 14, 2021 21:12

CBJSprague24: Dec 5, 2010; Again, Torts took him to a very high mountain and showed him Nationwide and all its splendor.

"All this I will give you," he said, "if you will lay down and block for me." -Jackets 15:16

https://twitter.com/jim_utter/status/1361067391413813249

FOX:
-Starts the race at 3pm EST to get the West Coast Audience in.
-Leaves no margin for error in case of delays.
-May postpone the resumption of the race because of the premier of a game show hosted by the dorky guy from American Pie.

# ? Feb 14, 2021 21:48

mischief: Jun 3, 2003

Hail and slow motion snow on the start finish line.

This is fine.

# ? Feb 14, 2021 21:58

shyduck: Oct 3, 2003

the best season ever

# ? Feb 14, 2021 23:01

tater_salad: Sep 15, 2007

I for one am excited that Cherries wild will be happening.

# ? Feb 14, 2021 23:27

stealie72: Jan 10, 2007; Their eyes locked and suddenly there was the sound of breaking glass.

gently caress nascar for my now knowing that show exists.

# ? Feb 14, 2021 23:47

CBJSprague24: Dec 5, 2010; Again, Torts took him to a very high mountain and showed him Nationwide and all its splendor.

"All this I will give you," he said, "if you will lay down and block for me." -Jackets 15:16

If they restart tomorrow at 4 p.m., that's 1 p.m. out west. How will the beloved West Coast Audience see the race? Won't someone PLEASE think of West Coast Audience?

# ? Feb 14, 2021 23:52

Elitist Bitch: Sep 13, 2007

CBJSprague24 posted:

If they restart tomorrow at 4 p.m., that's 1 p.m. out west. How will the beloved West Coast Audience see the race? Won't someone PLEASE think of West Coast Audience?

Can't speak for any of the rest of the West Coast Audience, but I took tomorrow off thinking there was more than an outside chance the race would get rain delayed.

# ? Feb 15, 2021 00:12

OJ MIST 2 THE DICK: Sep 10, 2008; Anytime I need to see your face I just close my eyes
And I am taken to a place
Where your crystal minds and magenta feelings
Take up shelter in the base of my spine
Sweet like a chica cherry cola
-Cheap Trick; Nap Ghost

CBJSprague24 posted:

If they restart tomorrow at 4 p.m., that's 1 p.m. out west. How will the beloved West Coast Audience see the race? Won't someone PLEASE think of West Coast Audience?

tomorrow is a holiday

# ? Feb 15, 2021 00:22

maffew buildings: Apr 29, 2009; I'm too dumb to get probated

West Coast here, I'm going to do other life stuff. The 99 is a DNF so whatever. What a stupid start to the season (a thing said every season)

# ? Feb 15, 2021 00:38

AsInHowe: Jan 11, 2007

How is Cherries Wild, everyone?

# ? Feb 15, 2021 00:51

Elephanthead: Sep 11, 2008; Toilet Rascal

AsInHowe posted:

How is Cherries Wild, everyone?

It looks like a rerun nascar preseason race

# ? Feb 15, 2021 01:10

shyduck: Oct 3, 2003

https://twitter.com/NASCAR/status/1361124959138033671?s=19

# ? Feb 15, 2021 01:35

mischief: Jun 3, 2003

# ? Feb 15, 2021 01:45

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Mar 1, 2021 16:32

CBJSprague24: Dec 5, 2010; Again, Torts took him to a very high mountain and showed him Nationwide and all its splendor.

"All this I will give you," he said, "if you will lay down and block for me." -Jackets 15:16

OJ MIST 2 THE DICK posted:

tomorrow is a holiday

Not for me.

I actually have a double whammy. The campus is already closed tomorrow due to an impending snowstorm, but everyone working from home has to work since it wasn't a holiday anyway.

# ? Feb 15, 2021 01:54

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Supposedly About Sports > N****R 2021: Welcome back, Kyle Larson!

«‹›3 »