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Let's just take a moment to remember the unforgettable opening scene of Joss Whedon's Justice League in all this ridiculous copycat "looks like a graphics card lol" exact-same-gag poo poo going on at the moment. Batman stalks a criminal carrying a bag of money on a "rooftop" set that looks like something out of the loving CW. He then hangs the crook off the edge of the building because "They smell fear." (???) Then a parademon shows up! I guess there's only one of them? And that the guy Batman was loving with was the only scared person in Gotham, a city of millions? Well, sure! Then something happens and the bug explodes! And when it explodes, it leaves the image of three mother boxes burnt into the wall which allows Batman to uh puzzle out I guess what is going on? Then Batman and the criminal have a tender moment over the death of Superman. I just typed that out and I still can't believe this poo poo happened. Imagine the meeting about this scene: "So the bug blows up and gives Batman the evil plot. Do all of them do this when they die?" "No, we see about 30,000 of them die later on and none of them do anything at all like this first one." "Well, why does the first one do it?" "Listen... we have to get the plot going somehow. So we'll just let the audience in on the fact that Darkseid sent one and only one parademon to Gotham that hones in on people scared by the Batman and when it gets there it will essentially tell Batman the bad guys' plan and Batman will immediately deduce everything about it from seeing three squares on the wall. I mean, why wouldn't world-conquering genius villain Darkseid send a single minion to Earth with some sort of special death message in order to let the heroes of Earth know how to stop his plans?" "... sounds great, let's shoot it."
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Feb 16, 2021 16:00
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McCloud posted:It's hilarious that the execs were sure they had a super hit on their hands after the Whedon changes and we're shocked when it blew up in their faces. Imagine watching that execrable piece of poo poo and thinking, "This is gonna make a billion dollars!"
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Feb 16, 2021 16:39
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Roman posted:Sounds like script for the Tim Burton Superman movie. Which you can't even blame Kevin Smith for writing because Joel Silver came up with and insisted on all the stupid ideas. Like you could never see Superman flying, he HAD to fight polar bears for some reason, etc. etc. "So, he can lift 10 quadrillion tons and a loving straight-up AGM to the face just knocks him woozy for like 10 seconds. He can punch something so hard it disintegrates into its constituent atoms and shoot lasers from his eyes that burn through approximately anything. He can move so fast you can't see him and he can loving fly." "Well, what do you think he's gonna do against some polar bears huh? They got claws and teeth!"
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Feb 16, 2021 16:47
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Man, what a great movie. Look at the Justice League vanquishing evil. WB execs look like a bunch of incompetent idiot assholes who asked a sexpest to paint their Golden Goose day-glo yellow "for the kids" or whatever the gently caress and Joss Whedon's career is in as many pieces as Zod's spinal cord. Imagine watching this movie and not liking it. Call CPS to do a wellness check! Or maybe they're all WB execs trying to save their rep, I dunno. Hold on guys let me tell you just how smart I am it's "indulgent" and "I don't like Aquaman" and "Zack Snyder GRAAAAAAAARRRRRGH." As les enfants say online, lol just lol.
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Mar 20, 2021 14:05
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FizFashizzle posted:There was an interview with Whedon I read once that was his rules of scriptwriting. The one rule I remember was to get rid of your favorite scene. Snyder seems to take this in the opposite direction, where not only is he not getting rid of it, but he has ten, and he doesn't care how it fits into the greater scope of the story. Sure let's take advice from Joss Whedon. "Get rid of your favorite scene because that makes sense in every case." lol just lol
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Mar 20, 2021 15:33
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The REAL Goobusters posted:Whats the deal with brunch It's just lunch! More master-level film poo poo from Joss Whedon. If you haven't watched any of the side-by-sides on Youtube, they make it clear just what a loving embarrassment his movie was and there are a ton of little 1/10 of a second cuts that are obviously him obeying that 2 hour limit and just trimming loving everywhere. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oIRrhW_Dyoo What a laugh. BTW knocking the dude toward kids then catching him and pancaking him into the wall with blood-splat is some top-tier poo poo IMO.
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Mar 20, 2021 16:32
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"There's not enough focus on mortals in this movie about aliens and gods," is a fairly strange and useless criticism IMO. No loving poo poo. That's not what it's about. It's called "Justice League" not "Shift Change at the Car Wash" or something. Of course I have a strange feeling that if the mortals were the focus of the movie the problem would be that the heroes aren't focused on enough now. There must be something to complain about here! I'll find it. >Zod roar< I WILL FIND IT.
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Mar 24, 2021 02:07
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wyoming posted:I'll never understand the hate for Suicide Squad Joker, this is my favourite Joker scene ever: It's simple: If you hate something you're very, very smart.
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Mar 26, 2021 10:28
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TLJ would have been fantastic had there been a second draft. It's such a loving ridiculous mess, it looks like Rian Johnson got done writing the script, wrote THE END, and then said, "Let's hurry up and film this immediately, no changes and absolutely no one think about any of this!" Whenever I see it or another epic disaster in its vein (theatrical cut of BvS comes to mind) I think about how many dozens of high-powered people saw it and nodded along. TLJ feels like a George Lucas movie in that it feels like no one could or did question anything at all, even when it didn't make sense or broke basic rules of storytelling or etc. To make this ZSJL-compliant, holy loving poo poo what a movie. I watched it again for the second time last night and man... it really holds up. It's beyond hilarious that WB had this bad-rear end thing already finished and in their pocket and self-sabotaged it into a complete loving travesty due to their cowardice and stupidity. A few comments on the show spoilered for those who haven't enjoyed the film yet: Man Ben Affleck is the GOAT Bat in this movie, I just love him. Look at the difference between this Bruce and the defeated, dead-eyed Bat from that ridiculous rooftop scene that opens that, uh, other movie. They are loving up beyond imagination by not moving forward with more Henry Cavill Superman. Like, beyond imagination, this motherfucker is the Superman. Really, for that matter, they are loving up beyond imagination by not crawling back to ZS and begging him to take over every step and every aspect of their DC properties because he's made it pretty clear he loves them more than any other human being on Earth. The Flash went from being a super-annoying joke character to my favorite in the movie. I don't know anything about the Flash movie but I'm loving stoked to see more of him, but I'd like to see him with his friends again. Ray Fisher. Holy poo poo, what a revelation. I personally liked his performance the best out of everyone in the movie, what a complete loving tour de force everything about him was. I especially love at the climax, he says, "I'm not broken... and I'm not alone!" The very next thing he does is call out for Superman. Does he even actually know Superman is there at that point? I'm not sure if he's seeing our world at all or if he's inside the Mother Box when he calls, but I like to interpret the scene as that he doesn't know Kal is there, says he's not alone, calls out for the Superman... and the Superman answers. No, you're not alone, Vic. You've got friends now. SUPER friends, in fact.  Steppenwolf went from being a lame mini-boss to a compelling villain IMO. I loved the yin-yang of merciless destroyer/craven bootlicker, and ZS just shoots action better than absolutely anyone not named George Miller. His initial attack on the Amazons does a lot to make him scary, when he jumps in and just hurls that Amazon and her horse through the air like it's nothing is just chef's kiss awesome. gently caress the haters who say Darkseid et. al. look "generic" or "video game bosses" or whatever the gently caress. They're great. That scene of Darkseid looking out of the boom tube at the Justice League with Superman sternly staring back like, "Come on through, 'god,' let's see what you've got," is just great. The Flash's run backward in time is the coolest thing that's even been put to film. Everything about it, the score, the dialogue, just everything about it is perfect. Imagine listening to this track and going, "Nope, calling up Danny Elfman and shitcanning everything about this." lol just lol.
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Mar 27, 2021 14:40
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God drat this is the most pedantic and stupid criticism of Man of Steel. It's so loving dumb. It's like asking why the US military didn't save more people during the city attack in Independence Day. In case that's a reach, it's because they were busy fighting the loving aliens. "Why couldn't Superman separate into two distinct entities so that while he was fighting the World Engine he could also be in Metropolis saving everyone killed by the World Engine? I mean, splitting into two people isn't a thing but he's Superman so I feel justified in asking this stupid question." "Why didn't he just simply easily defeat the equally-powerful, better-trained psychopath who just vowed to murder every person on Earth effortlessly without having to try at all so he could also at the exact same time save everyone in the city?" "Why didn't he take the fight elsewhere? Even though his opponent was just as fast and strong as him and can also fly so Superman literally cannot set the terms of the engagement by himself he still should have done, I don't know, something." "Why doesn't he fInD aNoThEr WaY? He's not my Superman because I want to bitch about nothing to make myself feel smart have you seen Lindsay Ellis's take I agree with her thing she said about this. Whatever it is. gently caress Zack Snyder dudebro rear end in a top hat." Answers to the questions are in the questions in bold. Jesus Christ there are some things to criticize MoS over but the whole "Why didn't Superman do multiple things at once while engaged in a fight for his loving life with someone who has threatened to wipe out the human race?" is some IMO bad faith stupid poo poo made up by click-chasing ZS haters back in 2013 and for some reason it's still floating around like it in any way relates to what is actually happening on the screen that we actually see happening onscreen in Man of Steel.
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Mar 28, 2021 15:31
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I was once driving around in the woods around here with some friends. We got out of our trucks and were attacked by a huge group of people. One of them drove a loving ax into my shoulder and wounded me so horrendously my friends had to drag me semi-conscious and bleeding to death back to the truck. We then high-tailed it out of there while the people from the woods fired explosive arrows at our retreating forms, destroying several of our vehicles with massive casualties. For some reason, I have a hard time locating the tree we passed when all that started. I mean, I know it's THE tree, but man.... there are sure a lot of them out in the woods, and we WERE kind of running for our lives, and I WAS kind of half-conscious bleeding out due to massive ax trauma to the neck, but yeah, it's totally unrealistic we can't go right back to that exact tree!
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Apr 2, 2021 10:10
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BvS: Frank Miller Batman ZSJL: Grant Morrison Batman Ben Affleck is the GOAT Batman. He's so, so much better as the inspiring team leader in ZSJL than schlubby slowpoke dipshit in whatever that other thing was. Watching MoS the other night, the scene with the priest and Superman: "Sometimes you have to take a leap of faith." ZSJL: "Faith, Alfred! Faith!" >hops over to the transport<
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Apr 3, 2021 14:27
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The Cameo posted:It’s been weeks and I’m still kinda giddy over how Ray Fisher screams “BARRRRRRRRYYYY!” as the unity happens. I've probably watched that entire scene 50+ times now, it might be the coolest thing I've ever seen on film. And every time I get to the (spectacular) ending of the clip I loving lol that WB had this movie in the barrel and decided to gut it and give us tit jokes and some random family. The loving Jets/Knicks of movie studios, I swear. Get out of your own way you morons. Or stay in your own way, just get out of your loving directors' ways so they can do cool poo poo like ZACK SNYDER'S JUSTICE LEAGUE.
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Apr 17, 2021 14:08
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Man, thank gently caress we got BvS instead of whatever else poetic weirdness it could have been. Last Son of Krypton vs. The Orphan of Gotham! Rewatched part of Man of Steel last night and... are they really gonna not make any more Henry Cavill Superman? The motherfucker is straight out of central casting, he might be the most Superman-looking dude who's ever lived. They're really gonna just not do anything else with that? I would pay good money to see a ZS/HC Superman movie now that he's, you know, Superman at the end of Justice League. Just a whole movie of him Supermanning it up as hard as possible, saving kittens from trees, making speeches to school assemblies, smiling 100% of the time, and at the end after 120 minutes of nothing but the Supermanest poo poo possible the entire cast turns to the camera and says, "That's my Superman!" and Supes does a little self-deprecating laugh/head shake and the music from the end of a Plinkett review starts playing. I will forever mourn the Ben Affleck Batman solo movie that, in a sane universe, would have come before BvS.
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Apr 22, 2021 12:50
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Blood Boils posted:Buy a bunch of copies of Josstice league? Cuz that's straight up the opening scene with Superman and those kids Yeah but I want it to have something to do with the rest of the movie.
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Apr 23, 2021 00:47
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Mantis42 posted:Superman Saves Kitten, Thousands Perish >tugs collar nervously< Ha ha just kidding folks! This just in, the kitten was located on Abandonment Island, the island just off the coast of the world's biggest city where there are no lifeforms of any kind!
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Apr 23, 2021 12:39
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Bisse posted:W-wait, people here like Batman v Superman? Like, for real? More amazing IMO that there are people who don't like BvS. At least the Ultimate Cut, I can see being wtf at that mutilated cut they showed in the theater.
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Apr 29, 2021 13:30
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Mr. Apollo posted:lol WB re-released the Josstice League trailer and Zack isn’t too pleased Listen... how do we make people forget our tremendously stupid billion-dollar gently caress-up? Maybe we should just not mention it? No, wait. There is another way... let's remind everyone of just what kind of morons we are here at WB! Power move to rep the sex pest when literally everyone else is running from him as fast as they can.
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Apr 29, 2021 14:32
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Neo Rasa posted:So is there like one single WB exec that is just determined to make people think Josstice League was the right choice or like I feel like this absolutely has to be personal, they just re-released a trailer from a 3ish year-old movie that they themselves considered a horribly embarrassing flop.
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Apr 29, 2021 15:07
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2house2fly posted:One example that stood out to me was, in the theatrical cut Superman gets up in Batman's face and threatens him for kind of no reason. In the ultimate cut there's a whole subplot of Clark investigating this vigilante in Gotham who's brutalising people, culminating in (spoilers for possible new viewers) him asking the wife of a dead branded inmate to help him put a stop to it with journalism, and her saying it would be pointless because the only thing someone like Batman understands is violence. That context makes the "consider this mercy" scene hit differently Good thing they could cut that meaningless part out so they could get another showing in every day! OH poo poo 69% DROP PEOPLE ARE SAYING IT'S INCOHERENT CALL JOSS HE'S GOOD RIGHT Star Wars cuts out the entire scene with the Sand People where Obi-Wan meets Luke, Luke goes from "We gotta find R2!" to sitting in Obi-Wan's hut being handed a lightsaber with nothing in between. No problems here!
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May 1, 2021 12:47
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