PYF Horrible Food: your favorite procedurally generated menu items

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Schubalts: Nov 26, 2007; People say bigger is better.

But for the first time in my life, I think I've gone too far.

https://youtu.be/7Y_nbV8T7us

# ¿ Mar 17, 2021 15:44

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# ¿ Apr 23, 2024 08:38

Schubalts: Nov 26, 2007; People say bigger is better.

But for the first time in my life, I think I've gone too far.

FFT posted:

French fry stir fry casserole

or possibly french fry stir fry aspic, that doesn't actually look like it's been cooked yet but it does look ... disturbingly gelatinous

It's been cooked. You can see the browned crust ring from where the liquid started at when it was put in the oven.

# ¿ Mar 22, 2021 08:56

Schubalts: Nov 26, 2007; People say bigger is better.

But for the first time in my life, I think I've gone too far.

How is the bun that wet when it wasn't in an enclosed package?

# ¿ Mar 24, 2021 04:53

Schubalts: Nov 26, 2007; People say bigger is better.

But for the first time in my life, I think I've gone too far.

They eat the skin, fat, and the small amount of meat on the bones. It's mostly chicken skin on "sticks".

# ¿ Apr 7, 2021 21:26

Schubalts: Nov 26, 2007; People say bigger is better.

But for the first time in my life, I think I've gone too far.

Yolo Swaggins Esq posted:

Isn't cotton candy just sugar and colouring flavoured?
Like isn't it just spun, coloured sugar?

There's small amounts of flavoring mixed in, usually vanilla, but yes cotton candy is pure sugar otherwise.

# ¿ Apr 9, 2021 14:52

Schubalts: Nov 26, 2007; People say bigger is better.

But for the first time in my life, I think I've gone too far.

fizzymercury posted:

Sorry to disappoint you but it's just generic white bread. Vaguely sweet if you're really focusing on pretending it's cake like European posters do. But it's the same as any other mid-range market fluffy white bread.

What is with the Eurogoons acting like a table or teaspoon of sugar makes an entire loaf of bread inedibly sweet? The majority of it is meant to be consumed by the yeast, anyway, to help it rise faster. The only breads with an actual large amount of taste influencing sugar are actual sweet breads, same as everywhere else. Even that Hostess (maker of Twinkies) loaf is only 1gram of sugar per slice.

# ¿ Apr 11, 2021 14:54

Schubalts: Nov 26, 2007; People say bigger is better.

But for the first time in my life, I think I've gone too far.

Wasabi the J posted:

Every cultures best food was stolen, sometimes literally and violently, from other cultures.

Italy is no exception.

Italians that act like tomatos are something they've been cooking with from the very beginning.

# ¿ Apr 13, 2021 15:01

Schubalts: Nov 26, 2007; People say bigger is better.

But for the first time in my life, I think I've gone too far.

Speaking of, I was in New Orleans in February and we got these giant mozzarella sticks. Just solid bricks of cheese. Completely forgot to post them here.

Size comparison with an average banana.

# ¿ Apr 17, 2021 04:16

Schubalts: Nov 26, 2007; People say bigger is better.

But for the first time in my life, I think I've gone too far.

spankmeister posted:

What's under the mozz stick? Is it fried fish?

Yea, fried catfish.

# ¿ Apr 17, 2021 08:28

Schubalts: Nov 26, 2007; People say bigger is better.

But for the first time in my life, I think I've gone too far.

Uncased sausage filling is sold as uncased sausage, right next to the sausages. Nobody gets confused by this when shopping other than you nutters.

# ¿ Apr 17, 2021 18:56

Schubalts: Nov 26, 2007; People say bigger is better.

But for the first time in my life, I think I've gone too far.

SlothfulCobra posted:

That's actually probably a better way of doing it than what most milkshakes do where they put down layers. It might give a more uniform drinking experience instead of all sludge at the beginning or end.

Sonic Blasts are soft serve ice cream.

# ¿ Apr 22, 2021 02:21

Schubalts: Nov 26, 2007; People say bigger is better.

But for the first time in my life, I think I've gone too far.

Fugu isn't a "big" thing because it tastes good or anything, it's just because it will kill you if prepared wrong. It's purely for rich idiots who want to feel like ~daredevils~.

# ¿ Apr 27, 2021 00:30

Schubalts: Nov 26, 2007; People say bigger is better.

But for the first time in my life, I think I've gone too far.

Throwing some seasonings in that vegetable water would at least make it have a taste. It's an ok base for an actual vegetable broth or soup.

# ¿ May 4, 2021 00:11

Schubalts: Nov 26, 2007; People say bigger is better.

But for the first time in my life, I think I've gone too far.

My best food field trip was in elementary, when we went to a local apple orchard and got to see apple cider being made and got to try it immediately. We went to a lot of local fruit farms, now that I think about it.

# ¿ May 8, 2021 08:48

Schubalts: Nov 26, 2007; People say bigger is better.

But for the first time in my life, I think I've gone too far.

It knows you want what it's got.

# ¿ May 11, 2021 05:57

Schubalts: Nov 26, 2007; People say bigger is better.

But for the first time in my life, I think I've gone too far.

Gotta get the cake cooked juuust right, so it doesn't break when you try (and fail) to roll it. But at least if it breaks, you still have a frosted cake.

# ¿ Jun 4, 2021 23:04

Schubalts: Nov 26, 2007; People say bigger is better.

But for the first time in my life, I think I've gone too far.

Ror posted:

content warning: trout

What the gently caress

# ¿ Jun 22, 2021 22:02

Schubalts: Nov 26, 2007; People say bigger is better.

But for the first time in my life, I think I've gone too far.

SlothfulCobra posted:

Is that a vanilla milkshake or just a plastic cup full of milk?

Bourbon vanilla milkshake.

# ¿ Jul 2, 2021 22:28

Schubalts: Nov 26, 2007; People say bigger is better.

But for the first time in my life, I think I've gone too far.

It's not leftover pizza, it's microwavable pizza. Just leftovers wouldn't capture the magic.

# ¿ Jul 8, 2021 02:53

Schubalts: Nov 26, 2007; People say bigger is better.

But for the first time in my life, I think I've gone too far.

Adding soy sauce to your rice pot before you boil it can help simulate using leftover rice.

# ¿ Jul 9, 2021 19:12

Schubalts: Nov 26, 2007; People say bigger is better.

But for the first time in my life, I think I've gone too far.

uber_stoat posted:

it would be funnier if it's just completely inedible, like how some fish you just can't eat because they taste like ammonia or some such.

Hasn't stopped people from eating the piss sharks.

# ¿ Jul 15, 2021 22:23

Schubalts: Nov 26, 2007; People say bigger is better.

But for the first time in my life, I think I've gone too far.

City of Glompton posted:

those are bread right? for a sec i thought the sausages were between two wavy cut potato slabs. could a person do that? could you slice a big potato and fry it and use it as bread?

Yes, you could do that.

https://youtu.be/cJsWveW1pdY

# ¿ Jul 23, 2021 22:54

Schubalts: Nov 26, 2007; People say bigger is better.

But for the first time in my life, I think I've gone too far.

zedprime posted:

Salt the potatoes with the extracted electrolytes from the blood plasma of the chef.

Giving salt bae ideas

# ¿ Jul 27, 2021 23:17

Schubalts: Nov 26, 2007; People say bigger is better.

But for the first time in my life, I think I've gone too far.

It depends on the shape of the bread. Long, thin loaves are placed flat on their bottom. Shorter, wider loaves are placed vertically like that, as are things like bagels.

# ¿ Aug 4, 2021 23:20

Schubalts: Nov 26, 2007; People say bigger is better.

But for the first time in my life, I think I've gone too far.

Yes, "pumpkin spice" is just the spice blend used to flavor pumpkin pie, but made marketable.

# ¿ Aug 5, 2021 15:34

Schubalts: Nov 26, 2007; People say bigger is better.

But for the first time in my life, I think I've gone too far.

Aardvark! posted:

Why is there a moldy hockey puck on that burger?

# ¿ Aug 6, 2021 06:18

Schubalts: Nov 26, 2007; People say bigger is better.

But for the first time in my life, I think I've gone too far.

Ror posted:

You're crazy if you keep anything in the office fridge overnight and expect it to be safe. Sure, go ahead, throw it in there for a bonus snack and hope that it's still around when you go for it, but if you're just leaving full packages of food or tons of lunch supplies in advance then you're a fool I tell you.

People can't help it. Work loving sucks and you're just tempting them by leaving something tasty around to dull some of the pain.

Doesn't even have to be in an office fridge overnight. Former coworker left a package of cookies in her desk drawer (in the Before Times we would routinely bring in food or snacks to share with our shift), and someone on the next shift took the whole thing. Different shifts had their own drawers, so the only way they'd have known there were cookies in there would be if they rummaged through her drawer for no reason.

# ¿ Aug 16, 2021 06:15

Schubalts: Nov 26, 2007; People say bigger is better.

But for the first time in my life, I think I've gone too far.

There used to be three within a mile of me, but all if them shut down. Now the only one in this part of town is one with dozens of reviews calling out their lovely service and hygiene. One said they were prepping pizzas and taking payments with their bare hands, without even washing up in between. :negative:

# ¿ Aug 17, 2021 15:54

Schubalts: Nov 26, 2007; People say bigger is better.

But for the first time in my life, I think I've gone too far.

Cartoon Man posted:

a living?? thing on a plate

What the hell is that!

Schubalts has a new favorite as of 18:49 on Aug 29, 2021

# ¿ Aug 29, 2021 18:31

Schubalts: Nov 26, 2007; People say bigger is better.

But for the first time in my life, I think I've gone too far.

Nothing wrong with some nice tomate sauced bread.

# ¿ Oct 6, 2021 23:04

Schubalts: Nov 26, 2007; People say bigger is better.

But for the first time in my life, I think I've gone too far.

It kinda hurts to look at that color.

# ¿ Oct 8, 2021 00:02

Schubalts: Nov 26, 2007; People say bigger is better.

But for the first time in my life, I think I've gone too far.

LifeSunDeath posted:

frikadel sounds gross, the rest of this looks horrible, and that is mayo

I thought that was an ice cream "sandwich" with sprinkles on it, what the gently caress.

# ¿ Oct 27, 2021 00:56

Schubalts: Nov 26, 2007; People say bigger is better.

But for the first time in my life, I think I've gone too far.

Adding cocoa and sugar to flour is different from grinding up whole oreos (or any other cookie) and using them as the entire dry base.

# ¿ Nov 3, 2021 23:09

Schubalts: Nov 26, 2007; People say bigger is better.

But for the first time in my life, I think I've gone too far.

OwlFancier posted:

Americans are amateurs at english, every other part of the world that speaks it just completely ignores the spelling and pronunciation and makes a series of weird hooting and grunting noises that others interpret meaning from, as they know instinctively that the language cannot be constrained by rules.

America does that, too. In American English every pronunciation "rule" has a hundred exceptions, not even going deep into the number of regional accents.

Nothing compares to fuckin Welsh, but still.

# ¿ Nov 7, 2021 19:17

Schubalts: Nov 26, 2007; People say bigger is better.

But for the first time in my life, I think I've gone too far.

Why would you ever put tots in the oven if you have a deep frier already filled with oil.

# ¿ Nov 9, 2021 02:54

Schubalts: Nov 26, 2007; People say bigger is better.

But for the first time in my life, I think I've gone too far.

cyberia posted:

There's a lot of taro and cassava erasure going on in this root vegetable discussion. If you can find it, eat more taro, it's delicious as hell.

I have only eaten taro as a mochi filling, but it's really good and it's a shame it's not more common in grocery stores in the US. Even the fancier grocery stores around me only maybe have it in chip form.

# ¿ Nov 17, 2021 03:03

Schubalts: Nov 26, 2007; People say bigger is better.

But for the first time in my life, I think I've gone too far.

SlothfulCobra posted:

I wonder a lot with fruits how much could be changed about them with dedicated breeding programs. There's so much variation in apples, maybe we could engineer a better dragonfruit.

Selective breeding fruits and vegetables can change them drastically. Some fruit examples are watermelon, banana, and basically every citrus, which are all extremely different from their original forms. For vegetables, there is the entire brassica family.
https://www.businessinsider.com/what-foods-looked-like-before-genetic-modification-2016-1

There are multiple dragon fruit varieties, too. The usual red skin/white fleshed ones are the least sweet, so maybe you all would like the red/purple or yellow/white ones more.

# ¿ Nov 29, 2021 23:17

Schubalts: Nov 26, 2007; People say bigger is better.

But for the first time in my life, I think I've gone too far.

The Bloop posted:

So are rocks but you don't see me eating them

# ¿ Dec 1, 2021 02:06

Schubalts: Nov 26, 2007; People say bigger is better.

But for the first time in my life, I think I've gone too far.

SlothfulCobra posted:

The only thing I dislike about this is the gravy being on the outside of the sandwich instead of the inside so you can't eat it cleanly, missing the point of a sandwich.

Also weird to cut it in half and stack it, but I dunno how tall that is, you might be able to cram it in your mouth.

That's apparently a homemade sandwich from some KFC cooking partnership. It's Sane Sandwich Height.
https://youtu.be/RFRjjXbl2Xs

# ¿ Dec 15, 2021 23:57

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# ¿ Apr 23, 2024 08:38

Schubalts: Nov 26, 2007; People say bigger is better.

But for the first time in my life, I think I've gone too far.

Sandwich Anarchist posted:

Full pie lol

Ah, there is a place with huge (not quite that size) pizzas like that in New Orleans. Mo's Pizza. Got lunch there with some coworkers years ago. Pizza took up so much of the table, and they made their dough and sauce in-house.

# ¿ Dec 27, 2021 02:46

The Something Awful Forums > Main > Post Your Favorite: Carefully Curated > PYF Horrible Food: your favorite procedurally generated menu items

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