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CaptainSarcastic
Jul 6, 2013



Aardvark! posted:

no idea what this is


It's like one of those distorted images where things are almost recognizable but not quite. Like, I can see various ingredients but my brain can't parse it into a whole.

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CaptainSarcastic
Jul 6, 2013




That needs a sprig of parsley added for garnish, and then it needs to be fed to a dog.

CaptainSarcastic
Jul 6, 2013




WELCOME TO HAMBOCOM! THE ONLY LIMIT IS YOUR IMAGINATION!

CaptainSarcastic
Jul 6, 2013




This has broken me. I am broken. That this exists has made me question the nature of reality itself.

CaptainSarcastic
Jul 6, 2013



KataraniSword posted:

You're maybe thinking of Sweet Factory, which was a mall staple and basically does not exist outside of that biome, making them very hard to hunt down nowdays.

Anyway, in the states that have them, Winco stores generally have a pretty robust bulk section like that, but they also have more standard grocery pickins alongside that.

Edit: that'll teach me to not realize there's two more pages of content between now and the post I'm replying to :doh:

I had thought about WinCo having a bulk section, too.

If memory serves, the original incarnation of WinCo was even more bulk-food oriented, back when it was called Waremart. Which was like 40 years ago or so, I think.

CaptainSarcastic
Jul 6, 2013



fizzymercy posted:

I float the already room temperature sushi rolls in hot and sour soup every time I go to a Chinese buffet and there's nothing wrong with that. Add the weird kimchi to it and some of the hot mustard. It's NOT WEIRD.

Also If you put day old grocery store sushi rolls in a hot bowl of shin ramyun black it's not gross, it is delicious, and I would like it if people stopped staring at me when they catch me doing it on purpose at work.

squishy soup nori is my favorite food.

:stonk::barf:

CaptainSarcastic
Jul 6, 2013



I also found bread crust bitter as a kid, and sometimes still pick up on it as an adult.

But I dealt with it the same way I dealt with other food I didn't particularly like - I'd eat it first to get it out of the way. I still do the same thing as an adult. Tonight I'm going to my folks house for corned beef and cabbage, and if there are onions in with the potatoes and carrots I'll try to avoid them, and then eat them first if some do end up on my plate.

Actually cutting stuff off or picking it out is reserved for more inedible things like gristle, excess fat, or blue cheese.

CaptainSarcastic
Jul 6, 2013



Data Graham posted:

Same. That's one of a great many OCD things I do with food, such as eating a handful of peanuts carefully in order from smallest to largest. Have to have a continuously improving quality of experience throughout the process!

If the last one is rotten god drat someone must pay

LOL - I do very similar stuff. Like working from the less-rare to more-rare parts of a piece of meat, or the order I eat candies in. I get sliced apples and it throws me if the last slice is mushy or something.

CaptainSarcastic
Jul 6, 2013



uPen posted:

They're vegan ribs.

So, long pig?

CaptainSarcastic
Jul 6, 2013



Code Jockey posted:

Also seconding the portobello burger idea above. So, so good.

Thirding the portobello burger. There used to be a couple restaurants in town who did awesome burgers with a big grilled marinated portobello cap as the patty, but they stopped doing it years ago for some reason. I'm not a vegetarian but often order vegetarian stuff out of preference, and I really miss those "burgers."

CaptainSarcastic
Jul 6, 2013




I heard Keurigs were declining in popularity.

CaptainSarcastic
Jul 6, 2013



FFT posted:

Good news! Banana Ketchup is real and good.

-- according to the friend i bought a bottle for as a joke birthday gift who is now on his fourth bottle

Isn't that a pretty normal thing in like Cuban cuisine? Or am I thinking Filipino?

CaptainSarcastic
Jul 6, 2013



ulmont posted:

This, but only the Morningstar corn dogs.

Yeah, I'd agree with this. I always found them surprisingly edible.

CaptainSarcastic
Jul 6, 2013



It's been a while but since I was a kid having a mug of steaming hot bouillon has been something I've done while sick or as a wintertime comfort drink. Using a whole cube every time. I think it's been a couple years since I did this, but I'm sure I will again at some point.

CaptainSarcastic
Jul 6, 2013




The last time I saw my doctor I mentioned I was concerned about getting high blood pressure and was watching my sodium intake, and he was like "Meh, I wouldn't worry about salt."

I still haven't decided if he just wants me dead or if maybe sodium really just isn't that big a concern.

CaptainSarcastic
Jul 6, 2013



I'm likely fine with salt - my blood pressure is fine and I don't have much in the way of medical problems, really.

I did have to take sodium tablets for hyponatremia at one point like 14 years ago, which was weird. Perhaps unsurprisingly, they tasted like salt.

CaptainSarcastic
Jul 6, 2013



This is from the last page, but I was tripping out at seeing those orange fruit being called gooseberries, although I saw later in the thread there are apparently two different species referred to as gooseberries.

These are the ones I'm familiar with from the UK:



And apparently they were banned in the US at the same time as blackcurrant, being related, and are likewise making a bit of a resurgence in the US:

https://recipes.howstuffworks.com/gooseberry.htm

CaptainSarcastic
Jul 6, 2013



Fuddruckers has been around a long time, even if that's not as blatant.

https://www.fuddruckers.com/

CaptainSarcastic
Jul 6, 2013



FFT posted:

French fry stir fry casserole

or possibly french fry stir fry aspic, that doesn't actually look like it's been cooked yet but it does look ... disturbingly gelatinous

I hope I'm wrong, but it kind of looks like someone took a family order of Chinese take-out and combined it over frozen french fries. The liquid looks uncomfortably like egg flower soup. The baby corn and water chestnut suggest stir fry or another dish. I'm trying to ignore what look like beans.

CaptainSarcastic
Jul 6, 2013



spankmeister posted:

Indiana may well be the worst state.

There was a lengthy GBS thread that pretty authoritatively determined that Connecticut is the worst state, but inexplicably has the best pizza.

CaptainSarcastic
Jul 6, 2013




Butty is one of the dumbest slang terms for a sandwich I am aware of.

Also, if fish and chips isn't drowned in malt vinegar is it even fish and chips?

CaptainSarcastic
Jul 6, 2013



drrockso20 posted:

Food causing weird dreams was a recurring theme in Little Nemo in Slumberland as well

The opening to Dickens' "A Christmas Carol" touches on food causing dreams as Scrooge tries to rationalize Marley away.

CaptainSarcastic
Jul 6, 2013



angerbeet posted:

There's more of gravy to you than the grave!

Nice pull - I had to check the novel to find that line. I'm not a massive Dickens fan but I can't think of a book with a stronger start than "A Christmas Carol."

CaptainSarcastic
Jul 6, 2013



I can appreciate good sweet/savory combos, but teriyaki is almost uniformly way too far into sweet territory for me.

Also, even though my Mom's English I do not believe I have ever had mushy peas. Mint is good in peas, and she just about always throws a sprig of fresh mint in with the peas or red/white/new potatoes and it works well. She has a poo poo-ton of mint growing in planters on the back deck, so it's kind of easy and always completely fresh.

CaptainSarcastic
Jul 6, 2013



The Bloop posted:

Fish and grits and then the shits

I am reading that more as "you have offended against chickenkind - now you must eat the chicken meal of the damned."

CaptainSarcastic
Jul 6, 2013




I hate it when I have to fix someone else's filing system.

CaptainSarcastic
Jul 6, 2013



I don't know if I've just pickier with age, but most "essences" taste terrible and chemical to me. I mean, I don't like most flavored seltzers because they use "essences," and prefer Spindrift, San Pellegrino, or making my own flavored seltzer using juice.

This spills over into chocolate, where things like chocolate oranges just don't taste very good to me anymore.

I'm still okay with lavender, rose, and some other other floral flavors, but I'm not sure if they are the same kind of "essence" as what's in most seltzers and chocolate things.

CaptainSarcastic
Jul 6, 2013



uber_stoat posted:

i'm a fan of these, reduced sugar san pelligrino basically.



Yeah, the blackcurrant and pomegranate one is really good, but unfortunately I can't find it anywhere anymore probably because Americans don't know what blackcurrant is.

CaptainSarcastic
Jul 6, 2013



I know bread chat was a page or two ago, but trying to find bread in general, and white bread in particular, that isn't disgustingly sweet has become harder and harder over the years. I haven't been making sandwiches for a while, but when I do and am picking bread up in a store I use grams of sugar per slice as a rough indicator of how bad the bread is.

Part of me has been morbidly tempted to pick up a loaf of this stuff just to see how bad it is, but I haven't. I picture it as probably being like making my roast beef sandwich on angel food cake:

CaptainSarcastic
Jul 6, 2013



Code Jockey posted:

Man oh man do I miss Chang's Mongolian Grill in Salem, OR. I used to go there all the time during college and while it took its toll on my waistline, it was heavenly.

They used to get the noodles all crispy and seared, and I'd just pile on the garlic, like 3-4 scoops of just the chunks of garlic plus one or two of the juices, hot oil, soy sauce and sesame oil, enough that it'd explode into a fireball as soon as it hit the cook top. Mushrooms, carrots, beef, chicken, green onions, cabbage, jalapenos and noodles, finished with peanuts and plum sauce, it was heaven. Man am I hungry now.

I lived in Salem for a couple years and felt like they generally had better restaurants than Eugene, for whatever reason. I miss Kwan's for American-Chinese food, and apparently they closed down for good. :(

I haven't had Mongolian grill, partly because I assume it will be sweet like teriyaki stuff.

CaptainSarcastic
Jul 6, 2013



I'm not a Eurogoon, just old, and I swear that regular supermarket bread has gotten sweeter over the last several decades. When I'm checking labels some of the worst offenders have 4g of sugar per slice, and they subjectively taste way too sweet. 1g per slice is usually okay, but even then it varies a lot between different brands and varieties of bread. The sweeter stuff might be okay with like peanut butter and jam, but is jarringly sweet with a normal savory lunchmeat.

CaptainSarcastic
Jul 6, 2013




I'm not even close to Italian but this makes me mad at food.

CaptainSarcastic
Jul 6, 2013



Iron Crowned posted:

My roommate will make "snackaroos" in the middle of the night, and I'll eat them when I wake up in the morning.

Sardines in evoo?

CaptainSarcastic
Jul 6, 2013



Stolen from the cursed images thread:



I want to believe.

CaptainSarcastic
Jul 6, 2013



Scarodactyl posted:

Tastes less like despair and more like not as good cheese. Melted it tastes like quite decent cheese.
Seriously, I've had some of the despaircheese before and things have moved way past that. It's not as good or versatile as real cheese but it's far from awful. I know taking cheap shots at vegan alternatives is a pastime for some people but it's seriously impressive how far they've advanced. It's made not being able to eat real cheese amazingly tolerable.

Is any of that vegan cheese from Sweden? Because that sounds like Stockholm syndrome.

CaptainSarcastic
Jul 6, 2013



Butterfly Valley posted:

You should just post 'hurr blurr vegans amirite' and cut out the pretence. 'Formerly niche product that used to be bad is now significantly improved after years of hugely increased demand funding r&d to make it tastier' is an extremely uncontroversial concept.

EoinCannon posted:

I know this is the thread for dunking on food but yeah, it's boring hearing the same old takes about vegan or vegetarian food

Relax - it was a joke, fer crissakes. That setup was too perfect to let it pass by.

CaptainSarcastic
Jul 6, 2013



I haven't noticed any bad smell from Beyond or Impossible burgers, although it's not like I've made a lot of them.

I wonder if they would make for a decent replacement for beef in "salisbury steak" frozen dinners. That was always one of my go-to easy options for slumming convenience food, but I've abandoned them because in the last 5 years or so I started noticing bone chips in them. Not just once or twice, and not all from the same brand. I've been a little hinky about ground beef since the mad cow scare years ago, and getting bone in my "salisbury steak" was just too creepy.

CaptainSarcastic
Jul 6, 2013




Call the police.

CaptainSarcastic
Jul 6, 2013



FFT posted:

For the record, this was intended as a challenge.

Best-guessed ingredient list gets an av cert, 24 hours~

-Velveeta shells and cheese
- Pace picante sauce
- tapioca

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CaptainSarcastic
Jul 6, 2013




The eggs looked 2-dimensional to me until I realized it must be forced perspective with layered hash browns.

Also, agreed with getting rid of the black pudding and tomatoes.

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