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Colonel Cancer posted:Your dick is bulimic, get help my dude Mine's just anorexic.
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Feb 20, 2021 03:16
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Which lotion is best for when my dick is jacked raw? I've tried Cetaphil but it was too watery, Vaseline was too sticky and gross and I'm considering CeraVe at the moment.
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Feb 20, 2021 03:28
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Mercury.
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Feb 20, 2021 03:42
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cum posted:Which lotion is best for when my dick is jacked raw? I've tried Cetaphil but it was too watery, Vaseline was too sticky and gross and I'm considering CeraVe at the moment. Coconut lotion is the best
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Feb 20, 2021 03:51
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Sometimes I fake my orgasms when I masturbate. 
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Feb 20, 2021 03:56
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https://twitter.com/dasharez0ne/status/851631672302780416?lang=en
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Feb 20, 2021 04:02
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its a form of thumb wrestling
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Feb 20, 2021 04:20
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gary oldmans diary posted:its a form of thumb wrestling Hey I just want to say that I saw the “Make an Avatar” threat and I’m extremely disappointed that no one has yet made a “Deniro jacking off into a bucket labeled “Martin Scorsese” avatar.
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Feb 20, 2021 05:52
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My friend: "Hey what's your address I wanna send you something I found" The something they found: 
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Feb 20, 2021 06:04
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Knot My President! posted:My friend: "Hey what's your address I wanna send you something I found" pretty sure this is tire shine
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Feb 20, 2021 06:08
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I finger tested a tiny drop and it was absurd how unendingly slick it was. The pump that came with it is ostentatiously voluminous and can easily keep a techno train well oiled with one stroke
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Feb 20, 2021 06:11
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Knot My President! posted:My friend: "Hey what's your address I wanna send you something I found" now you can re-enact this scene https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VuQNy9CIFek
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Feb 20, 2021 06:17
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I'm holding out for wet diamond edition
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Feb 20, 2021 06:23
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Masturbation is often preferable to intercourse, don’t @ me
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Feb 20, 2021 07:51
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i honestly wonder how my teenage years woulda been without dial up access to 90s internet porn. i feel like i woulda been significantly more motivated to make bad horny decisions rather than just spray all over my computer room
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Feb 20, 2021 08:02
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ClamdestineBoyster posted:Sometimes I fake my orgasms when I masturbate. ur only cheating yourself
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Feb 20, 2021 08:04
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cum posted:Which lotion is best for when my dick is jacked raw? I've tried Cetaphil but it was too watery, Vaseline was too sticky and gross and I'm considering CeraVe at the moment. Aquafresh Bubblemint.
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Feb 20, 2021 08:11
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remember to pee after you jack
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Feb 20, 2021 08:19
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I got put on brain drugs so I can't get hard or orgasm anymore. loving sucks. Crank one for me goons.
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Feb 20, 2021 08:19
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Don't have time to purify my hands of Diablo sauce after I scarf down three Crunchwrap Supremes drenched in the stuff. Start squashing my beef like a piston gently caress-machine hammering a gaped karkhole but instead it's my kung-fu grip getting that dick engorged from the circulation severance I'm visiting upon it. Hand looking purple grape from the extreme digital pressure being exerted, nerves in both my gnarled claws and dingus numbing. There it is, the Diablo sauwse absorbing into my cock flesh, dribbling into my wailing pores. I start screaming so loving loud it's insane. I scream and I scream and I scream but I don't stop hammering the freak out of my dick and hole. Just when I can barely take the mashing of my bastard stick as my balls feel like they're gonna burst like an overripe corpse in moist Louisiana heat, my cock pukes huge sour milk streams of curdled nut across the room. It lands on my PS5 and I hear it crack and pop and the smell of burnt shithole plastic is the last thing I sense before I pass out and a huge karking assblast of a loving fart ruptures out my rear end in a top hat and a creaming deluge of diarrhea floods across my bedding.
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Feb 20, 2021 08:25
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Feb 20, 2021 08:46
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Lil Swamp Booger Baby posted:Don't have time to purify my hands of Diablo sauce after I scarf down three Crunchwrap Supremes drenched in the stuff. Start squashing my beef like a piston gently caress-machine hammering a gaped karkhole but instead it's my kung-fu grip getting that dick engorged from the circulation severance I'm visiting upon it. Hand looking purple grape from the extreme digital pressure being exerted, nerves in both my gnarled claws and dingus numbing. There it is, the Diablo sauwse absorbing into my cock flesh, dribbling into my wailing pores. I start screaming so loving loud it's insane. I scream and I scream and I scream but I don't stop hammering the freak out of my dick and hole. Just when I can barely take the mashing of my bastard stick as my balls feel like they're gonna burst like an overripe corpse in moist Louisiana heat, my cock pukes huge sour milk streams of curdled nut across the room. It lands on my PS5 and I hear it crack and pop and the smell of burnt shithole plastic is the last thing I sense before I pass out and a huge karking assblast of a loving fart ruptures out my rear end in a top hat and a creaming deluge of diarrhea floods across my bedding. Same
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Feb 20, 2021 08:48
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This sounds like a bit of an ordeal for some of you
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Feb 20, 2021 08:49
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I stopped watching porn around 4 months ago. Masturbation is more like making love, now, for me, now. I'll spare you the details, but my left arm shows sparse evidence of bite marks, and my orgasms are the best they've ever been.
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Feb 20, 2021 09:19
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I have masteted the act of masturbation. I am become the masterbater
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Feb 20, 2021 09:21
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Feb 20, 2021 10:09
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Lil Swamp Booger Baby posted:Don't have time to purify my hands of Diablo sauce after I scarf down three Crunchwrap Supremes drenched in the stuff. Start squashing my beef like a piston gently caress-machine hammering a gaped karkhole but instead it's my kung-fu grip getting that dick engorged from the circulation severance I'm visiting upon it. Hand looking purple grape from the extreme digital pressure being exerted, nerves in both my gnarled claws and dingus numbing. There it is, the Diablo sauwse absorbing into my cock flesh, dribbling into my wailing pores. I start screaming so loving loud it's insane. I scream and I scream and I scream but I don't stop hammering the freak out of my dick and hole. Just when I can barely take the mashing of my bastard stick as my balls feel like they're gonna burst like an overripe corpse in moist Louisiana heat, my cock pukes huge sour milk streams of curdled nut across the room. It lands on my PS5 and I hear it crack and pop and the smell of burnt shithole plastic is the last thing I sense before I pass out and a huge karking assblast of a loving fart ruptures out my rear end in a top hat and a creaming deluge of diarrhea floods across my bedding. woah you got ps5? Cool
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Feb 20, 2021 10:22
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Lil Swamp Booger Baby posted:Don't have time to purify my hands of Diablo sauce after I scarf down three Crunchwrap Supremes drenched in the stuff. Start squashing my beef like a piston gently caress-machine hammering a gaped karkhole but instead it's my kung-fu grip getting that dick engorged from the circulation severance I'm visiting upon it. Hand looking purple grape from the extreme digital pressure being exerted, nerves in both my gnarled claws and dingus numbing. There it is, the Diablo sauwse absorbing into my cock flesh, dribbling into my wailing pores. I start screaming so loving loud it's insane. I scream and I scream and I scream but I don't stop hammering the freak out of my dick and hole. Just when I can barely take the mashing of my bastard stick as my balls feel like they're gonna burst like an overripe corpse in moist Louisiana heat, my cock pukes huge sour milk streams of curdled nut across the room. It lands on my PS5 and I hear it crack and pop and the smell of burnt shithole plastic is the last thing I sense before I pass out and a huge karking assblast of a loving fart ruptures out my rear end in a top hat and a creaming deluge of diarrhea floods across my bedding. i dryhumped mu couch to this
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Feb 20, 2021 10:29
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I’m an anarchoprimitivist but also a masturbator so I have to make my own pornography with carefully arranged sticks and rocks I found like bad omens in the blair witch
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Feb 20, 2021 12:56
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Knot My President! posted:My friend: "Hey what's your address I wanna send you something I found" Are you planning on using the pen as well for this?
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Feb 20, 2021 13:09
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Women won't ever admit this to their boyfriends but getting hosed by a rabbit vibrator is like getting hosed by 2 dicks at once only one dick is smaller and hitting the perfect spot and both vibrate and it never gets tired and gets off before you do and you can just beat it forever. Sorry men lol
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Feb 20, 2021 13:45
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I farted in my urethra and it smelled so bad inside there my penis barfed
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Feb 20, 2021 13:46
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Aegis Bear posted:Women won't ever admit this to their boyfriends but getting hosed by a rabbit vibrator is like getting hosed by 2 dicks at once only one dick is smaller and hitting the perfect spot and both vibrate and it never gets tired and gets off before you do and you can just beat it forever. Women are weak and so are their libidos. Men enjoy strong orgasms as evident by their higher sexual drive.
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Feb 20, 2021 13:47
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You may think you're having the time of your life with your rabbit vibrator but you will never experience the explosive euphoria that comes with the male orgasm.
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Feb 20, 2021 13:49
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It barfed one time when a Classic Coke bottle slipped into my butthole and stabbed my prostate when I tried to poo poo in a vending machine
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Feb 20, 2021 13:49
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MOM HELP I TOUCHED MY PENIS AND IT FELT FUNNY THEN BARFED
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Feb 20, 2021 13:50
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cum posted:Women are weak and so are their libidos. Men enjoy strong orgasms as evident by their higher sexual drive. Ehh women who discovered the magic can have just as high sex drives, if not higher. That being said it's not a contest and I'm kind of jealous of dudes because it looks a bit more...visceral when they jack it? Idk
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Feb 20, 2021 13:51
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Aegis Bear posted:Ehh women who discovered the magic can have just as high sex drives, if not higher. One time I put my meat rod inside some puddy and the puddy barfed on my dingus which made my penis barf inside the vagetus.
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Feb 20, 2021 13:52
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Lil Swamp Booger Baby posted:One time I put my meat rod inside some puddy and the puddy barfed on my dingus which made my penis barf inside the vagetus. This is how I will explain sex to my children thank you
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Feb 20, 2021 13:54
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| # ? Apr 24, 2024 08:04 |
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cum posted:Women are weak and so are their libidos. Men enjoy strong orgasms as evident by their higher sexual drive. This is bait and I'm not taking it.
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Feb 20, 2021 14:00
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