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Amarcarts
Feb 21, 2007

This looks a lot like suffering.


Whenever a work meeting is almost over and we're about to get to go home for the day he awkwardly interrupts a supervisor from another department and drags the meeting on longer by disagreeing to score points with the boss.

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gary oldmans diary
Sep 26, 2005



i think a wishmaster would be the worst coworker. always probing peoples desires and insecurities and then in that gritty voice says "done" and later on that loving "careful what you wish for" pun
like dude we get it

Nuts and Gum
Mar 15, 2010

Age 18 to 49

Hey boss!! I just made an ESS QUWEUE ELLL query you should read

Funky See Funky Do
Aug 20, 2013
STILL TRYING HARD

He's a stupid loving piece of poo poo. I used to work in the loading dock with him and the amount of times I had to pull his mangled moron rear end out of the box compactor was, well it was 3 times.

Edward Mass
Sep 14, 2011

fuck the molice


Which Jack Ryan are we talking about here? Marine Jack Ryan, stockbroker Jack Ryan, history professor Jack Ryan, CIA analyst Jack Ryan, or President Jack Ryan?

gary oldmans diary
Sep 26, 2005



jack ryan is a land of contrasts

Cacator
Aug 6, 2005

You're quite good at turning me on.



loving guy, he's always like "patriot games" this and "clear and present danger" that

mind the walrus
Sep 22, 2006



I once watched Jack Ryan torture a man over who ate the instant oatmeal in the break room. It wasn't even brand-name.

RocketLunatic
May 6, 2005
i love lamp.

I still think about his ridiculous commute to work in DC. Just a show off on that stupid bike.

https://dcist.com/story/18/09/04/jack-ryans-commute-to-work-makes-ab/

gary oldmans diary
Sep 26, 2005



remember the time jack ryan pretended to be turning into a vampire to mess with dwight?

Funky See Funky Do
Aug 20, 2013
STILL TRYING HARD

Once his mother called me from hospital to thank me for saving her son's life and I said to her "Madam this is the last time I pull that wretched imbecile's misshapen body from cruel grasp of the box compacting machine!" and he never came back to work after that. To be truthful I'd always secretly hoped he'd passed from his injuries at a later date but apparently he's gone on to spread his malignant misery into other lives.

appropriatemetaphor
Jan 26, 2006



Look Jack I don't care what's at stake, I'm on my BREAK!

DeadFatDuckFat
Oct 29, 2012

This avatar brought to you by the 'save our dead gay forums' foundation.


Yeah, I prefer to work with Jeri Ryan

Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon

Jack Dicker

gary oldmans diary
Sep 26, 2005



appropriatemetaphor posted:

Look Jack I don't care what's at stake, I'm on my BREAK!

Number_6
Jul 23, 2006

BAN ALL GAS GUZZLERS

(except for mine)


Pillbug


Did you take this picture at ERCOT?

A Bakers Cousin
Dec 18, 2003


Hes always going on about russia russia russia

Like chill Jan.

Funky See Funky Do
Aug 20, 2013
STILL TRYING HARD

He smells of ham. Now, I used to love ham (be it in a sandwich, a fried rice from the Chinese take-away, or ham and pea soup - I loved it all) but for years after I worked in the loading dock I couldn't touch the stuff.

Ratjaculation
Aug 3, 2007



I AM A FREE
I AM NOT MAN
A NUMBER





Jack stop talking about your dysentery from your recent trip destabilising a South American country that has valuable raw materials, I'm trying to eat my goddamn ramen in a cup

Ratjaculation
Aug 3, 2007



I AM A FREE
I AM NOT MAN
A NUMBER





Edward Mass posted:

Which Jack Ryan are we talking about here? Marine Jack Ryan, stockbroker Jack Ryan, history professor Jack Ryan, CIA analyst Jack Ryan, or President Jack Ryan?

President Ryan? This guy? This chump?

*looks at Ryan who has been analysing a vending machine for nearly 40 minutes*

Dignity Van Houten
Jul 28, 2006

abcdefghijk
ELLAMENNO-P


"THIS MAN IS HAVING A HEART ATTACK, DOCTOR RYAN CAN YOU HELP"

"Sorry, I'm not that kind of doctor" *sips clamato and stares out airplane window"

Dignity Van Houten
Jul 28, 2006

abcdefghijk
ELLAMENNO-P


"so Ryan who'd you ed up voting for"

"It's no secret I'm an outspoken republican, so I voted for Donald J Trump"

DarkSoulsTantrum
Apr 6, 2011

this kills the crab

Sure, they're visually impressive, but a lot of posters find large avatars physically uncomfortable. Furthermore, the owners of large avatars often rely on their size alone and don't bother to develop more refined posting techniques.





GODDAMMIT RYAN, you try another stunt like that and I’ll have your gun and badge!

*Ryan tries another stunt like that and suffers no consequences*

Ventral EggSac
Dec 3, 2019



Yeah it's like, what's your last name?

DarkSoulsTantrum
Apr 6, 2011

this kills the crab

Sure, they're visually impressive, but a lot of posters find large avatars physically uncomfortable. Furthermore, the owners of large avatars often rely on their size alone and don't bother to develop more refined posting techniques.





A bunch of us call him Jackin’ Ryan and one time he almost heard us

ikanreed
Sep 25, 2009

Rise and shine, master leprechaun.





Last week he dinged my chavez in the parking lot

potee
Jul 23, 2007

Or, you know.

Not fine.


ikanreed posted:

Last week he dinged my chavez in the parking lot

russians dont suck a dick without a plan son

Ratjaculation
Aug 3, 2007



I AM A FREE
I AM NOT MAN
A NUMBER





To: HR
Subject: Jack Ryan complaint

Good afternoon,

Just chasing you up - again. This is my fifth complaint this month alone. Just this morning Dr Ryan emailed his entire team the attached image and then stood staring at us from the glass in his office whilst using a fan to wave a flag behind him.

This is NOT appropriate.

Many thanks,
Clint
Assistant Data Technician







low key sex master
May 27, 2004






looks like you're all lining up to................................... jack Ryan

Ratjaculation
Aug 3, 2007



I AM A FREE
I AM NOT MAN
A NUMBER





Team gather round, please. Now listen I have some important news.

The helicopter carrying Jack crashed in Iraq. We're not sure of his condition, if he is even alive.

Now, I know you'll all have some questions so I'll just explain the big ones here.

One: No I don't know why Jack was in a helicopter in the middle east - again - whilst we're here doing all the paperwork
Two: Yes it is ok to be happy, I know I am

Lil Swamp Booger Baby
Aug 1, 1981

MTV




Got myself a vasectomy call that Sack Dyin'

Ratjaculation
Aug 3, 2007



I AM A FREE
I AM NOT MAN
A NUMBER





I got myself a low paying fast food job

I'm in Macs fryin

N. Senada
May 17, 2011


I managed jack at his first job, a Carl’s Jr.

He would just disappear for like half a shift without telling and then later I’d get a call from the district manager complaining about jack bothering her with rants about the encroaching del taco threat or some new mom and pop deli run by some Eastern Europeans

He suckkked

Funky See Funky Do
Aug 20, 2013
STILL TRYING HARD

Did I mention the time he called in sick to work for a week so he could go to a Limp Bizkit concert in Florida with a underaged girl he met in a Slipknot chatroom?

Funky See Funky Do fucked around with this message at 12:17 on Feb 27, 2021

DarkSoulsTantrum
Apr 6, 2011

this kills the crab

Sure, they're visually impressive, but a lot of posters find large avatars physically uncomfortable. Furthermore, the owners of large avatars often rely on their size alone and don't bother to develop more refined posting techniques.





I fired him and now he’s Jack Cryin’

naem
May 29, 2011



gary oldmans diary posted:

remember the time jack ryan pretended to be turning into a vampire to mess with dwight?

oh! no. common mistake. that was John Krazinski.

https://i.imgur.com/CZI4oPT.gifv

Sourdough Sam
May 2, 2010



He really likes to "jack" in the office bathroom and I think he likes that everyone knows.

Xaintrailles
Aug 14, 2015



More like Jah Cryan'

BigBadSteve
Apr 29, 2009

Self Defense
Nil Satanus carborundum

Yeshua akbar!
(Xtian anarchisto, no bombo)


His breath always smelt of cum and cheap vodka.

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mom and dad fight a lot
Sep 21, 2006

twenty-six characters long



Jack Ryan borrowed one of my helicopters and never returned it.

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