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PittTheElder
Feb 13, 2012

Yes, it's like a lava lamp.



And why isn't it Scott Carpenter?

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Rujo King
Jun 28, 2007

I say old chap have you any of the good sort of catnip if you know what I mean... harrumphaarmaammhhhmm


James Irwin. He walked on the moon, then spent the rest of his life talking about how walking on the moon isn't as awesome as Jesus. He also believed that the creation story in Genesis was literally true, even though his mission was responsible for discovering and bringing back a chunk of lunar regolith that was found to be over four billion years old, a sample scientists nicknamed "The Genesis Rock". Another item of note: While Scott Carpenter's next job after returning from space was working on deep-sea research with the U.S. Navy, Irwin's involved leading an expedition to Mount Ararat to try to locate Noah's Ark.

PittTheElder
Feb 13, 2012

Yes, it's like a lava lamp.



Oh I just remembered Harrison Schmidt went on to become a climate change denier, he should be in the running too

mom and dad fight a lot
Sep 21, 2006

twenty-six characters long



That's easy. It's resident psychopath Julie Payette.

French-Canadian astronaut who later became Canada's Governor General—technically the country's head of state right after the Queen.

As Governor General, she created a toxic workplace environment and regularly abused her employees to the point where they'd leave her office in tears. An investigation revealed that she would throw tantrums, yell at her staffers, call her subordinates' work "poo poo", and spontaneously quiz employees about space just to belittle their responses. Formally a "fun" place to work, Rideau Hall's employee turnover increased sharply with many former workers indicating that they left to avoid her constant harassment.

After a formal workplace review, Payette resigned earlier this year. Her story has been national news for months.

mom and dad fight a lot fucked around with this message at 16:22 on Feb 27, 2021

Lawman 0
Aug 17, 2010





What about the one who wore a diaper and drove across the country?

poisonpill
Nov 8, 2009

The only way to get huge fast is to insult a passing witch and hope she curses you with Beast-strength.



Serious question: is it possible the massive amounts of radiation that astronauts at mess with their brains?

Lawman 0
Aug 17, 2010





poisonpill posted:

Serious question: is it possible the massive amounts of radiation that astronauts at mess with their brains?

Maybe on a mars mission but they are mostly protected on the ISS.

PittTheElder
Feb 13, 2012

Yes, it's like a lava lamp.



poisonpill posted:

Serious question: is it possible the massive amounts of radiation that astronauts at mess with their brains?

Nah they don't get all that much more radiation than they would on earth, and I don't think the twin study on the Kelly's turned up anything like that.

It's just cause being an astronaut almost requires you to be a hyper Type A personality. There are exceptions of course (looking at you Micheal Collins), and it's not as big of a problem these days with a larger astronaut core, but a large fraction of them seem to be just straight up assholes.

Vavrek
Mar 2, 2013

I like your style hombre, but this is no laughing matter. Assault on a police officer. Theft of police property. Illegal possession of a firearm. FIVE counts of attempted murder. That comes to... 29 dollars and 40 cents. Cash, cheque, or credit card?

My first thought was "that guy who pointed a camera straight at the sun and burned it out", but on looking up who that was, it turns out it was Alan Bean and Alan Bean was great.

Pimpcasso
Mar 13, 2002

We're still wearing the fucking hats!


Lawman 0 posted:

What about the one who wore a diaper and drove across the country?

Is that the one that was busted logging in to someone else’s bank account in space

Lawman 0
Aug 17, 2010





Pimpcasso posted:

Is that the one that was busted logging in to someone else’s bank account in space

No no apparently that lady was innocent of doing space crimes

PittTheElder
Feb 13, 2012

Yes, it's like a lava lamp.



Vavrek posted:

My first thought was "that guy who pointed a camera straight at the sun and burned it out", but on looking up who that was, it turns out it was Alan Bean and Alan Bean was great.



Getting Dave Foley to play him in From The Earth To The Moon was an inspired choice imo

Rujo King
Jun 28, 2007

I say old chap have you any of the good sort of catnip if you know what I mean... harrumphaarmaammhhhmm


Vavrek posted:

My first thought was "that guy who pointed a camera straight at the sun and burned it out", but on looking up who that was, it turns out it was Alan Bean and Alan Bean was great.



I think we can forgive him for forgetting not to point the camera at the sun because he remembered the exact switch to use to reset the onboard systems when their Saturn V was struck by lightning during launch.

Tulip
Jun 3, 2008

I have no country to fight for; my country is the earth; I am a citizen of the world.




Rujo King posted:

James Irwin. He walked on the moon, then spent the rest of his life talking about how walking on the moon isn't as awesome as Jesus. He also believed that the creation story in Genesis was literally true, even though his mission was responsible for discovering and bringing back a chunk of lunar regolith that was found to be over four billion years old, a sample scientists nicknamed "The Genesis Rock". Another item of note: While Scott Carpenter's next job after returning from space was working on deep-sea research with the U.S. Navy, Irwin's involved leading an expedition to Mount Ararat to try to locate Noah's Ark.

lol

poisonpill posted:

Serious question: is it possible the massive amounts of radiation that astronauts at mess with their brains?

It's a hyper-competitive, supremely stressful, highly praised career process. At an absolute minimum you have to look at the requirements and not go "that is not worth it" or "there's no loving way I can do that," then you have to actually do all that poo poo, and if you make it through then you get people tripping over themselves to tell you that you're super cool.

Mooey Cow
Jan 27, 2018



Pillbug

These all seem like terrible people who were astronauts (well i don't know if believing stupid things automatically makes someone a bad person), surely there must be someone that totally hosed up being an astronaut. Like if they took a dump and forgot to flush and the turd floated away and hit someone in the eye or something.

PittTheElder
Feb 13, 2012

Yes, it's like a lava lamp.



Well that's why I said Scott Carpenter. He got distracted looking at ice particles out the window and nearly got himself killed.

The turd thing went over pretty well honestly

Tulip
Jun 3, 2008

I have no country to fight for; my country is the earth; I am a citizen of the world.




Mooey Cow posted:

These all seem like terrible people who were astronauts (well i don't know if believing stupid things automatically makes someone a bad person), surely there must be someone that totally hosed up being an astronaut. Like if they took a dump and forgot to flush and the turd floated away and hit someone in the eye or something.

I'm pretty sure that was just a normal part of every apollo mission.

Bargearse
Nov 27, 2006

Don't get your pen, son, you won't be needing that. My order's simple, a shitload of dim sims. And I want a bucket of soya sauce.


Can we at least agree the best astronauts were the ones on Apollo 16 who got caught with an open mic talking poo poo about how their space diets gave them horrible farts?

Lawman 0
Aug 17, 2010





Bargearse posted:

Can we at least agree the best astronauts were the ones on Apollo 16 who got caught with an open mic talking poo poo about how their space diets gave them horrible farts?

haha I never heard of this post the video!

Jabberlock
Nov 29, 2014





Anyone who flew to the moon but didn't get to walk on it. owned

Rujo King
Jun 28, 2007

I say old chap have you any of the good sort of catnip if you know what I mean... harrumphaarmaammhhhmm


Bargearse posted:

Can we at least agree the best astronauts were the ones on Apollo 16 who got caught with an open mic talking poo poo about how their space diets gave them horrible farts?

I think the most ridiculous thing about that incident was that John Young claimed the farts were due to his higher-than-normal OJ intake, which led to the Governor of Florida issuing a press release clarifying that Young's problems were due to artificially-flavored Tang, and not real, all-natural Florida orange juice.

Lawman 0 posted:

haha I never heard of this post the video!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uuv6TVv0r44

Skeleton Ape
Dec 21, 2008



Dr. Phildo
Dec 8, 2003

Except the heaven had come so near,
So seemed to choose my door,The distance would not haunt me so



Soiled Meat

Lawman 0 posted:

What about the one who wore a diaper and drove across the country?

Lisa Nowak!

Who was going to beat up and kidnap an Air Force captain! (And pepper sprayed her]

PittTheElder
Feb 13, 2012

Yes, it's like a lava lamp.



Lawman 0 posted:

haha I never heard of this post the video!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uuv6TVv0r44

Note that John Young was also on Apollo 10 for the poop bag incident, and once got chewed out by management for smuggling a corned beef sandwich into orbit on Gemini 3. After Apollo landed he stuck with NASA and commanded the first shuttle mission. He is quite possibly the best astronaut.

PittTheElder fucked around with this message at 07:52 on Feb 28, 2021

esto es malo
Aug 3, 2006

Don't want to end up a cartoon

In a cartoon graveyard



Lawman 0 posted:

What about the one who wore a diaper and drove across the country?

She was a great person in comparison to most other astronauts

poisonpill
Nov 8, 2009

The only way to get huge fast is to insult a passing witch and hope she curses you with Beast-strength.



The Apollo cabins were also like eighty degrees, filled with ziplock bags of urine and three unwashed adult men for a week. They were not pleasant, to put it lightly

PittTheElder
Feb 13, 2012

Yes, it's like a lava lamp.



Microgravity stops your sinuses from draining and you lose your sense of smell though, so not so bad

Lawman 0
Aug 17, 2010





poisonpill posted:

The Apollo cabins were also like eighty degrees, filled with ziplock bags of urine and three unwashed adult men for a week. They were not pleasant, to put it lightly

Dudes rock

Bargearse
Nov 27, 2006

Don't get your pen, son, you won't be needing that. My order's simple, a shitload of dim sims. And I want a bucket of soya sauce.


Three dudes living in a van for two weeks

Who was that astronaut who went to Mir, and spent the whole time whining about the Russians smoking and drinking on their own station?

low key sex master
May 27, 2004






Lawman 0 posted:

No no apparently that lady was innocent of doing space crimes

in space no one can hear you crime

Chinatown
Sep 11, 2001

~*Suck My Balls*~

Fun Shoe


a pre-internet shitpost

beep-beep car is go
Apr 11, 2005

I can just eyeball this, right?



Rujo King posted:

I think we can forgive him for forgetting not to point the camera at the sun because he remembered the exact switch to use to reset the onboard systems when their Saturn V was struck by lightning during launch.

SET SCE TO AUX

Captain von Trapp
Jan 22, 2006

I don't like it, and I'm sorry I ever had anything to do with it.

PittTheElder posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uuv6TVv0r44

Note that John Young was also on Apollo 10 for the poop bag incident, and once got chewed out by management for smuggling a corned beef sandwich into orbit on Gemini 3. After Apollo landed he stuck with NASA and commanded the first shuttle mission. He is quite possibly the best astronaut.

Per Shuttle-era astronaut and fantastic memoirist Mike Mullane, John Young was an abysmally terrible manager of people and (notwithstanding the respect forhis accomplishments as an astronaut) was universally loathed by the astronaut corps he ran.

Sham bam bamina!
Nov 6, 2012

ƨtupid cat




Jake Garn. In addition to his illustriously terrible career as a senator, he turned out to be pretty much incapable of functioning in space on his single flight.

some astronaut posted:

Jake Garn was sick, was pretty sick. I don't know whether we should tell stories like that. But anyway, Jake Garn, he has made a mark in the Astronaut Corps because he represents the maximum level of space sickness that anyone can ever attain, and so the mark of being totally sick and totally incompetent is one Garn. Most guys will get maybe to a tenth Garn if that high. And within the Astronaut Corps, he forever will be remembered by that.
On the other hand, they mainly brought him along to see how sick he would get, so calling him the worst astronaut is probably beside the point when that was the whole idea, but in terms of being a real shithead who also had no business being in space, he's perfect for this thread.

PittTheElder
Feb 13, 2012

Yes, it's like a lava lamp.



Captain von Trapp posted:

Per Shuttle-era astronaut and fantastic memoirist Mike Mullane, John Young was an abysmally terrible manager of people and (notwithstanding the respect forhis accomplishments as an astronaut) was universally loathed by the astronaut corps he ran.

Interesting. I should really get around to reading Riding Rockets one of these days.

Big Dick Cheney
Mar 30, 2007


What about those Apollo guys that smuggled all those envelopes to the moon so that they could sell them later?

Vincent Van Goatse
Nov 8, 2006
Probation
Can't post for 5 hours!


Smellrose

The ones who didn't even get into outer space. Way to be "astronauts", losers.

This doesn't apply to the ones like Roger Chaffee and the Challenger crew because obvious reasons.

Bronze Fonz
Feb 14, 2019






Came to say Julie Payette, beaten.

Fun fact: she also had a new separate entrance built, at our cost, so that her security detail would use a different entrance than her... so she wouldn't have to see their unworthy plebe asses.

She finally resigned and we're hoping she'll lose her pension so we stop collectively paying her to be a POS.

Cool for the space trip though.

Farmer Crack-Ass
Jan 2, 2001

~this is me posting irl~


poisonpill posted:

The Apollo cabins were also like eighty degrees, filled with ziplock bags of urine and three unwashed adult men for a week. They were not pleasant, to put it lightly

I remember reading somewhere that while the Russian cosmonauts tended to think most Shuttle astronauts were weenies, they thought most Apollo guys were fuckin' badasses.

Although I wonder how much the lower pressure in the spacecraft helped (or hindered?) with that temperature.


Bargearse posted:

Three dudes living in a van for two weeks

Who was that astronaut who went to Mir, and spent the whole time whining about the Russians smoking and drinking on their own station?

That sounds like Jerry Linenger, who had probably the absolute worst relationship with the Mir cosmonauts (and everyone on the ground, too) out of all the astronauts that went there. His attitude was basically "i'm here to do science, not to janitor this decrepit Russian space station, and if i can't get the science done then why am i even up here???"

The only reason he was there was because hardly any of the NASA astronauts could be convinced to go. Most of them saw it as a lovely assignment. They wound up rushing him onto a Shuttle flight just so that the Russians would accept him.


PittTheElder posted:

Interesting. I should really get around to reading Riding Rockets one of these days.

It's absolutely worth a read.

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Budzilla
Oct 14, 2007

I do it because I love you.


Sham bam bamina! posted:

On the other hand, they mainly brought him along to see how sick he would get, so calling him the worst astronaut is probably beside the point when that was the whole idea, but in terms of being a real shithead who also had no business being in space, he's perfect for this thread.
Reminds me of this Onion video. Gotta say most astronauts sounds like assholes. I hope Buzz Aldrin isn't one

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