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Bronze Fonz posted:When I was really young, me and my brother were playing tag outside and I somehow ran into the side mirror of my dad's car. Part of my head decided to open up a bit, mirror was dead at this point. Dude you can remove the umbilical cord now.
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Feb 28, 2021 16:32
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Big Beef City posted:Just imagine being LAP and needing to tiltawirl slam and then stone cold stunner your own toddler repeatedly in a falls count anywhere match just to prove you're the man of the house. We only use The Diamond Cutter in this house. Like real christians.
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Feb 28, 2021 16:41
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I'm told that this footage is a 100% accurate recreation of the events except replacing the beer with a sippy cup and The Rock with a defenseless child.
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Feb 28, 2021 17:09
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Big Beef City posted:I'm told that this footage is a 100% accurate recreation of the events except replacing the beer with a sippy cup and The Rock with a defenseless child. Nah, wrong footage, its this https://twitter.com/AEW/status/1349549523924885505?s=20
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Feb 28, 2021 17:57
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Aardvark! posted:i never had any sort of head injury. That's right. My brain just came this way
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Feb 28, 2021 18:31
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OP took a hammer to my head and showed not nearly the same level of concern I hate OP cut off
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Feb 28, 2021 18:34
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Aardvark! posted:i never had any sort of head injury. That's right. My brain just came this way   DeadFatDuckFat posted:Nah, wrong footage, its this I mean, when it's 3am, kid's crying because they're hungry but at the same time won't eat... a mysterious cloak fucked around with this message at 18:45 on Feb 28, 2021 |
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Feb 28, 2021 18:42
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My toddler never stops playing floor is lava and the only injuries have been on me eating poo poo on the random obstacles she leaves all over, while she will launch face first into the corner of a table or cabinet and be fine. LAP I think your kids face might need to be harder I guess is my conclusion.
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Feb 28, 2021 20:55
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Derpies posted:My toddler never stops playing floor is lava and the only injuries have been on me eating poo poo on the random obstacles she leaves all over, while she will launch face first into the corner of a table or cabinet and be fine. There might be a curse where the less LAP threads there are, the weaker his kids become? Like if you post less than 30 threads per month the kid explodes or similar.
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Feb 28, 2021 20:58
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Bronze Fonz posted:There might be a curse where the less LAP threads there are, the weaker his kids become? This would explain why my child is robust, fearless, and has an adamantium skull as well. LAP I encourage you to explore the Fonzian Principle here and try and poo poo post more, for the sake of the children.
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Feb 28, 2021 21:01
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Derpies posted:This would explain why my child is robust, fearless, and has an adamantium skull as well. LAP I encourage you to explore the Fonzian Principle here and try and poo poo post more, for the sake of the children. Everyone is so concerned with my posting lately. I mean, yes, I am the once and forever best but come on guys I've been gone for like a month.
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Feb 28, 2021 22:19
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Literally A Person posted:Everyone is so concerned with my posting lately. I mean, yes, I am the once and forever best but come on guys I've been gone for like a month. You're about a year away from your mini person being a little more independent and you can get back to poo poo posting on a regular schedule.
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Feb 28, 2021 22:28
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Lol, head injuries. Here's my concussion story. Back in highschool during PE we were playing soccer. The PE teacher decided to join in with us. I was taller than him but he was not a small guy, he played full-back for the only Gaelic football team to ever bring the all-Ireland Cup to our county. Dude was easily 18 stone and very little of it fat. I was waiting for the ball to be passed and had just turned my head to the side when he tripped forward. BANG!!! He rammed his eyebrow ridge straight into my temple. I went to the ground like a tree being felled. If I had been more conscious I might have thrown out an arm and cracked an elbow - we were playing on tarmac. Classmates, teacher and I all joked about his black eye later, my hair covered my bruises. Yeah, that's right. I'm the kid who blackened a teacher's eye with a headbutt and got away with it. 
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Feb 28, 2021 23:47
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hol poo poo nice
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Feb 28, 2021 23:56
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Aegis Bear posted:Idk what it is but kids are always getting their heads hurt. Specifically their heads. Their skulls seem drawn to corners, walls, falls and all sorts of other hazards. Thankfully, kids are also made of rubber. My theory based on personal experience is that kids haven't yet developed the instinct to put their arms up or flinch away. As a child I: Ran face first into a wall corner, splitting open the skin on my jaw Tripped on gravel, smashing jaw first into dirt, biting half my lip off. Just like... dangling Tripped on a playground riser, smashing jaw first into cement, biting the newly stitched half of my lip off Hurled myself down a 3 meter spiral staircase. I'm assuming head trauma was involved because everyone except me remembers this. On the plus side, the scars aren't horribly disfiguring and my jaw is apparently indestructible.
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Mar 1, 2021 00:02
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Idle Amalgam posted:Y'all scaring the gently caress out of me with your childhood injuries. In my case at least a lot of it is the dumb luck of genetics. Susceptibility/resistance to concussions is largely driven by genetics, and I lucked out on it. Same thing with rapid healing, and a weird resistance to sunburn - it's just good luck on my stats rolls, basically. Of course I also got sleep apnea and addictive tendencies out of the genetic lottery, so it's not like it was all good, more like some kind of dumb min/max situation.
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Mar 1, 2021 00:09
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Fruits of the sea posted:My theory based on personal experience is that kids haven't yet developed the instinct to put their arms up or flinch away. ahahahah goddamn dude. After some internet detectiving, I found your profile pic 
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Mar 1, 2021 00:46
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i have hEDS so of course i get injured far more easily in fact one morning i woke up with a dislocated leg because i slept weird also my right arm subluxates incredibly easily (it is not painful)
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Mar 1, 2021 03:35
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Every time I have a grand Mal seizure I happen to be standing on concrete. Scares the hell out of everyone every time, blood pouring out of a head wound and my mouth from biting off parts of my tongue, it's pretty funny while I'm still interdictal, before I can feel pain
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Mar 1, 2021 03:38
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I was encouraged to seesaw with a kid who outweighed me by at least 10 pounds, and though I was apprehensive, I did it anyway & fell backward off the seesaw directly into my head. I also once jumped headfirst onto a bag of potato chips, but I don't remember that one.  edit: deadeyez posted:Every time I have a grand Mal seizure I happen to be standing on concrete. My first two seizures were grand mal, but thank goodness the rest of them have been the kind where I just go blank & find that I've taken all my socks out of my drawer when I regain consciousness. I mean, ideally I wouldn't have any, but if I have to have them, I'm glad it's these. YeahTubaMike fucked around with this message at 05:27 on Mar 1, 2021 |
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Mar 1, 2021 05:20
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