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xzzy
Mar 5, 2009

sleep with the vicious posted:

Why did Jonathan Toews sit out this year again? Is he done for good?

No specifics, all they've said is he has some persistent fatigue.

No way to know if he's gonna play again, ask in five years!

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xzzy
Mar 5, 2009

Flames gonna get everyone stuck with the rule that you must wear a helmet while on the ice.

xzzy
Mar 5, 2009

Canadiens should be forced to pay every penny of that contract for getting nowhere during Price's god mode years. That dude was so fun to watch in the good 'ol days when Subban was still on the team.

xzzy
Mar 5, 2009

I pulled my groin just thinking about doing that little maneuver.

xzzy
Mar 5, 2009

Ginette Reno posted:

Ovechkin spearing Frederic owned really hard.

Ovi got the superstar benefit of the doubt too. 2 minutes for a chop like that is hilarious.

Don't forget the clip where Frederic dropped the gloves and Ovi has this "I don't even know who you are" face.

xzzy
Mar 5, 2009

eXXon posted:

Was Frederic upset at anything in particular or does he just instinctively cross-check any opposing player in range?

He'd been a shitheel to Ovi the whole game.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dm4YDKojLKc

There was a third collision Frederic started but I couldn't find the clip. He deserved some kind of retaliation for his efforts.

xzzy
Mar 5, 2009

Can't win with less time on the clock than that!

https://twitter.com/ByScottPowers/status/1367681894645723140

Exactly one frame on the overhead camera with the puck in the net before it hit 0.0.

xzzy
Mar 5, 2009

Well you have to keep in mind that everyone running the league is older than timekeeping technology. It's natural for seniors to avoid new things.

xzzy
Mar 5, 2009

Surprised they didn't go for the LTIR loophole. His cap hit is like six million through 2024, right?

Unless he's pissed off and this is his gently caress you to the team.

xzzy
Mar 5, 2009

How about a scheme where coaches are paid by the league, and every month they show up at a rink and throw their sticks in a pile and Bettman draws them out one by one to determine which team they will coach for the next month.

It's kind of what they do already, it's always the same faces bouncing around to different teams. But my way you can make it part of the entertainment.

xzzy
Mar 5, 2009


Toftbo's goal being called back made that the hardest OT to watch in all OT's I've ever watched. I'm still kinda mad about it.

xzzy
Mar 5, 2009

Probably all of them? They worked their way into a league where results are the only thing that keep you employed and there's always someone younger and more fearless chomping at the bit to replace you. In theory the contracts make it worth it.

No one retires with a story about how they feel great and ready to climb Everest.

xzzy
Mar 5, 2009

It's okay because he's technically not a repeat offender in the eyes of the DOPS.

I wonder if he has a siri reminder telling him when his probation is over so he can go end someone else's career.

xzzy
Mar 5, 2009

Ginette Reno posted:

If the point of the lottery is to improve lovely teams, then gating teams from repeatedly picking first overall seems silly.

Well regularly sending top talent to Edmonton where they do jack poo poo for the rest of their lives is silly too.

So how about a system where every time a team drafts first the GM has to retire.

xzzy
Mar 5, 2009

As long as the networks are the biggest source of income the streaming options will be second class. The NHL can't even fill up the breaks with ads on their streaming service and commonly play the same ad twice in a row. The networks can get more advertisers and any losses are mitigated by making money somewhere else so it's impossible to compete.

xzzy
Mar 5, 2009

That actually sounds horrible to me because it means I have to pay ESPN, or more specifically Disney, to watch hockey. Yet again I'm buying giant packages of stuff I don't watch to get the one thing I do want to watch.

I like NHL.tv because it's laser focused, they just need to fix the blackout garbage.

xzzy
Mar 5, 2009

AsInHowe posted:

this flag, but with four hilarious Maple Leaf losses in each quadrant

How do you pick just four?

xzzy
Mar 5, 2009

Are teams dictating team influenced themes on goalie helmets now, or are goalies just getting more boring/predictable?

xzzy
Mar 5, 2009

May not be the most appropriate place to talk about it but it's legit crazy how fast Disney became the biggest streaming player of all. They went on a buying spree and got drat near everything.

xzzy
Mar 5, 2009

Unironically hope hockey gets moved to the ocho.

xzzy
Mar 5, 2009

Koopa Kid posted:

Auston Matthews being Bieber’s best friend is number two or three on the list of most embarrassing things about him, the first obviously being his drunken pants-dropping harassment of Arizona residents and then maybe his fashion sense.

Where does his atrocity of a mustache rank on that list?

xzzy
Mar 5, 2009

CBJSprague24 posted:

Streaming services were novel when they started because they were cheaper and there were like 3, but it's well past the point that everyone and their brother has their own and, if you want a little bit of everything, it will almost cost more than cable.

Unless you need constant access to a bunch of networks you can save some money. New Disney show? Pay for a month and watch it then cancel. New HBO show? Pay for a month then cancel.

Yeah it's a little more work but at least none of them have complex cancellation, just login and click the cancel button. Even after paying for NHL.tv we're spending way less a year than we did for cable, it's maybe $30 a month all told.

xzzy
Mar 5, 2009

Things going well in Detroit's new(ish) stadium I see.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BLssNjefHRI

xzzy
Mar 5, 2009

FBS posted:

https://twitter.com/BrianHedger/status/1370218085685284867

wait does this guy coach a professional hockey team or report on US police shootings? I can't tell

At one point the announcers said basically that exact same thing, "it's just how the situations and matchups played out." Because Tortorella doesn't have like twenty years of history benching players for childish bullshit reasons.

xzzy
Mar 5, 2009


Next up is "testing" ads on jerseys just to see how it goes.

xzzy
Mar 5, 2009

All ads are an abomination so ranking them is kind of pointless. :v:

How about the league move to 100% digitally placed ads and then sell a package that streams with no ads at all.

xzzy
Mar 5, 2009

Koopa Kid posted:

So the Leafs play two excellent games against Winnipeg where Hellebuyck gets the Jets 3 points anyway, then when the Jets sit him the Leafs play their worst game in two weeks and poo poo the bed hard.

Which was to be expected, I guess.

Just lol at that bench minor. Don't need to be good at lip reading to know why he got it.

xzzy
Mar 5, 2009

You can't push the goalie into the net to score, but apparently you can push the entire goddamn team in.

xzzy
Mar 5, 2009

Power rankings are out:

xzzy
Mar 5, 2009

Hockey helmets are pretty much complete trash and players don't even wear them securely strapped, so even if they were good at protecting the head they probably wouldn't work properly. There was a brief frenzy of development when people started taking concussions seriously but I really don't think it accomplished much.

xzzy
Mar 5, 2009

Misanthrope posted:

Speaking of the recapture penalty being entertaining and great, I can't wait for Shea Weber to retire early.

You mean sneak onto LTIR with a mystery illness that everyone quietly accepts that he'll never play again?

xzzy
Mar 5, 2009

My hockey watching routine is to pick an hour window every night and turn on a random game. I pick whatever game looks the best based on the teams involved or the score, but will also pick whatever teams I haven't been seeing much of. You don't gotta really fixate on a team, just watch the game and enjoy the fun plays that happen.

This is easier if you have nhl.tv, as all the live games are in one spot.

xzzy
Mar 5, 2009

Cartoon Man posted:

Shouldn’t the players be getting vaccinated by now? I’m getting Fizer shot #1 next week.

Making people outside 65+ or high risk categories eligible is a pretty recent development, and even with as much time the NHL spends with their head up their rear end I don't think they're sufficiently ignorant to try and buy their way into immunizing a league full of extremely healthy young men. If that leaked out a month ago or so they would have been crucified.

It also takes 6 weeks for the two dose vaccines to become fully effective so players wouldn't be in the clear yet anyways.

xzzy
Mar 5, 2009

Cartoon Man posted:

Caps had to move on from Holtby due to his inability to move bowels.

Isn't that what you pay a goalie to do? Stop poo poo?

xzzy
Mar 5, 2009

Someone please post a clip of Hajeck skating backwards with the puck behind him because I need to relive that amazingness a few more times.

xzzy
Mar 5, 2009

Fine I'll just make the clip myself, you're worthless to me twitter.

https://i.imgur.com/pT34POa.mp4

xzzy
Mar 5, 2009

How about for one year instead of drafting players we force Edmonton to draft the entire management chain. Everyone from the owner to the coach is up for grabs and the draft pool is basically anyone that has never held a job for the Oilers organization.

Nothing will change for that team until they have people in charge that actually give a poo poo.

xzzy
Mar 5, 2009

Can his display in the HHOF include all the beach ball gifs please?

xzzy
Mar 5, 2009

Frankly 20 McDonalds hamburgers is a lifetime supply. Any more than that and your arteries turn to stone.

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xzzy
Mar 5, 2009

ThinkTank posted:

Fixing a systemic issue by pinning it all on one guy, dusting off your hands and calling it resolved. A time honoured American tradition.
A truly logical and intelligent person could determine that the NHL knew Tim was retiring and asked him to take this fall to make the league look good and get people off their back for a little while. :tinfoil:

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